Book SummaryThe Top Five Regrets of the Dying, by Bronnie Ware

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Many people die with regrets, but it doesn’t have to be that way. In The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware shares the five most common regrets her patients had in their final weeks of life. She argues that living without regret requires courage and reflection because society’s expectations and limiting beliefs can lead you to prioritize the wrong things and make choices that don’t actually make you happy. By learning from others’ end-of-life reflections, you can clarify what truly matters, stop procrastinating on making positive changes, and start living a life you won’t regret.

Ware is a songwriter, speaker,...

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying Summary Regrets About Yourself

The first type of regret Ware’s patients commonly expressed was regrets they had about themselves—things they wished they had done differently with respect to how they led their lives and treated themselves. These regrets reveal lessons about living authentically and choosing happiness.

The Regret of Not Living Authentically

Ware writes that the number one regret her clients had was not living an authentic life. Living authentically means acting and making choices based on what you truly want and on the values you believe in. Many of Ware’s patients expressed that they had let the expectations of others dictate how they should live instead of honoring their own dreams and desires.

(Shortform note: In 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think, Brianna Wiest explains why we might unknowingly live inauthentically: From an early age, we realize that we can get attention, love, and approval by pleasing others—for example, by getting good grades to...

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying Summary Regrets About the People in Your Life

The second type of regret Ware’s patients expressed was regrets they had about how they treated people in their lives. They felt that they failed to properly nurture the important connections in their lives and wished they’d prioritized relationships more. In the following sections, we’ll discuss regrets about relationships and lessons on maintaining a healthy work-life balance, communicating openly with loved ones, and nurturing meaningful friendships.

The Regret of Putting Work Before Relationships

One common regret that Ware’s patients had was spending too much time working instead of spending time with people they cared about. In their final days, many of her patients wished they had prioritized their loved ones instead of their careers and material success.

(Shortform note: Carving out small pockets of fun, memorable time spent with loved ones can help you avoid this regret. In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin suggests that in the midst of seemingly urgent tasks in your everyday life, you should [spare a few moments for...

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying Summary Tips for Finding the Courage to Live Authentically

Now that we’ve discussed the most common regrets that people have at the end of their lives, let’s discuss how to live without regret. Ware argues that living a life without regret requires vigilance, conscious decisions, and a lot of courage. She discovered this herself as she went through her own journey, abandoning a steady job in the banking industry for an unconventional life, pursuing songwriting, and caring for patients as a palliative care nurse.

(Shortform note: Ware wrote The Top Five Regrets of the Dying in 2011, and today, she continues to inspire people to live life without regret through her vlog, newsletter, and books. In her newsletters, she uses real-life examples to reflect on themes of life, wonder, and self-kindness to motivate people to make the most of the time they have. In her vlog, she documents her slow, off-grid lifestyle, including her journey building and moving into a tiny hempcrete home in the Australian bush.)

In the following sections, we’ll discuss three of Ware’s tips for finding courage so you can live authentically and regret-free.

Tip 1: Accept Death as...

Shortform Exercise: Start Living Without Regret

Ware’s work with dying patients revealed five common regrets people have at the end of their lives. This exercise encourages you to reflect on your life choices and consider how they might help you avoid having these regrets.

Consider the regret of not living authentically. In what areas of your life are you living according to others’ expectations instead of your own dreams and values? What’s one step you could take to start being more authentic?