This is a preview of the Shortform book summary of The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) by Sophie Santos.
Read Full Summary

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had)

Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and a pursuit to understand her own identity.

We join the author on a deeply personal journey as she explores the complexities of her sexual orientation and her sense of self in relation to gender. This story delves into the journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the significant influence that personal connections and mental well-being have on embracing one's true self.

Sophie Santos embarks on a personal journey to delve into her sexual orientation and gender identity.

The author recounts the development of her identity, from initial perceptions of Cheryl, a lesbian student nurse, to her own preferences for "boyish" attire. At seven years old, she started to consider that she might be drawn to the same sex, an idea sparked by Cheryl's short haircut. Her journey encompasses a period during which she grapples with the intricacies and actively pursues discussions about her evolving sexual identity, after initially trying to affirm her presumed heterosexuality by engaging in activities like kissing boys. Throughout her story, the author interacts with multiple women who steer her towards self-recognition and acceptance.

Sophie Santos' path to understanding herself was significantly shaped by the powerful stories in "Stop Kiss" and the characters portrayed in "The L Word." Acknowledging her lesbian identity comes not without resistance—challenged by personal denial, familial expectations, and societal norms. She wrestles with a disconcerting question about her postponed maturation, a journey intricately linked with her reflection on significant connections she has made.

The Impact of Personal Relationships on the Author's Self-Discovery

The writer paints a vivid picture of her interpersonal bonds, from the thrilling bonds forged at summer getaways to imagining a future alongside a partner with whom she shares a deep affection. These relationships are significant milestones on her path, as they mirror her identity shifts. A gentle tap on the limb or an engaging round of foosball could ignite a journey of introspection and the blossoming of affection. She recalls the enlightening experience of sharing a kiss with a close friend from high school. Sophie Santos persists in confronting issues of loyalty, authenticity, and commitment, all of which significantly shape her relationship with Rylee. Her romantic liasons are portrayed as a lens...

Want to learn the ideas in The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) better than ever?

Unlock the full book summary of The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) by signing up for Shortform.

Shortform summaries help you learn 10x better by:

  • Being 100% clear and logical: you learn complicated ideas, explained simply
  • Adding original insights and analysis, expanding on the book
  • Interactive exercises: apply the book's ideas to your own life with our educators' guidance.
READ FULL SUMMARY OF THE ONE YOU WANT TO MARRY (AND OTHER IDENTITIES I'VE HAD)

Here's a preview of the rest of Shortform's The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) summary:

The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) Summary Striving for creative goals

The story chronicles a person's journey through the challenging world of performance art, embracing a new path as a comedian, and developing through her creative pursuits, providing a captivating tale of the challenges and triumphs that come with dedicating oneself to the world of show business.

Sophie Santos possesses a deep passion for the performing arts and is determined to establish a professional path in the entertainment sector.

Sophie Santos has harbored a deep passion for theater, music, and comedy from her formative years.

Sophie Santos found her calling in the film industry at an early age, motivated by Lindsay Lohan's performance in "The Parent Trap." Her enthusiasm for the performing arts shone through as she actively engaged in community theater, particularly when she took part in the renowned play "A Christmas Carol." Sophie Santos turned to her musical theater teacher at Arab High School for mentorship, considering it a crucial move in the pursuit of her dreams. She showcased her resolve by diligently pursuing monetary backing for stage shows and exploring chances to take the stage in New York. Her initial venture into local stage productions proved...

Try Shortform for free

Read full summary of The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had)

Sign up for free

The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) Summary The influence of family relationships

In this article, we explore the profound impact that interactions with parents, grandparents, and other relatives have on a person's development and sense of self.

Sophie Santos' growth was profoundly influenced by the guidance and values imparted from her elders.

The author's self-perception was significantly molded by the complex and subtle relationship she shared with her mother.

The author describes a relationship with her mother that is permeated by a profound closeness and an unavoidable codependency. Their bond with her mother goes beyond typical maternal interactions, marked by her mother's involvement in both literal and figurative difficult situations. The mother fully supports the author's choices, including her fixation on Dorothy dresses, and influences additional aspects of her appearance, like the length of her hair.

Sophie Santos explores the intricate emotions she holds for her biological father and stepfather, scrutinizing the influence their involvement or lack thereof has had on her personal development.

The author humorously juxtaposes her father's strict military demeanor with her mother's relaxed approach to parenting. Sophie Santos'...

What Our Readers Say

This is the best summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People I've ever read. The way you explained the ideas and connected them to other books was amazing.
Learn more about our summaries →