Book SummaryThe Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem, by Shortform

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem

There’s a reason that countless books have been written on the topic of self-esteem. How you feel about yourself has a massive impact on the quality of your life, and raising your self-esteem can radically reshape both your internal and external worlds. That said, it’s easy to understand that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, but actually raising your self-esteem can...

The Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem Summary What Is Self-Esteem?

In The Confidence Code, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman provide a basic definition of self-esteem: Self-esteem is an attitude about yourself—specifically, the belief that you have value. In The Gifts of Imperfection, researcher Brené Brown calls healthy self-esteem worthiness: the conviction that you’re good...

The Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem Summary Why Raise Your Self-Esteem?

We’ve explored the question of what self-esteem is, but why does any of this matter? Self-esteem is important because it significantly shapes the course of your life: It determines how you feel, the actions you take, and the way you relate to others.

Self-Esteem Determines How You Feel

First off, Nathaniel Branden argues that healthy self-esteem makes you generally happier. It protects you from the worst life has to offer, as people with healthy self-esteem quickly recover from life’s inevitable challenges. For example, someone who loses their job won’t suffer the loss as badly if they believe that they’re capable and worthy of finding a new one. Of course, self-esteem doesn’t guarantee a fulfilled life—but without it, you won’t live the most fulfilling life possible.

The benefits of healthy self-esteem don’t stop there. In Everything Is F*cked, self-help...

The Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem Summary What Factors Influence Your Self-Esteem?

Now that we’ve established why it’s important to cultivate healthy self-esteem, let’s explore where self-esteem comes from. In this section, we’ll explore three factors that influence your self-esteem.

Factor #1: Genetics

First, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman note that there’s a significant genetic factor at play. It’s scientifically accepted that five main personality traits—agreeableness, neuroticism, conscientiousness, extroversion, and openness—make up around 50% of our personalities. Confidence (or healthy self-esteem) and optimism are related to these traits, and scientists estimate that 25-50% of our confidence comes from our genes.

That said, Kay and Shipman emphasize that confidence isn’t a fixed trait—you have to build it. Psychologists believe that your choices and determination account for 50% of the confidence you develop.

Factor #2: Your Past Actions

Nathaniel Branden contends that your self-esteem is based on your opinion of your past actions. More specifically, **your self-esteem both [drives and...

The Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem Summary How to Raise Your Self-Esteem

In the following sections, we’ll describe five habits you can put into practice to raise your self-esteem. These habits focus on your actions—not your beliefs—because beliefs alone don’t affect your self-esteem. Although the right beliefs can help push you into action, Nathaniel Branden asserts that the right behaviors are what truly raise your self-esteem. Even if these habits feel forced and don’t raise your self-esteem right away, practice them as much as you can. Branden asserts that consistency is key: The more you get used to behaving in ways that support self-esteem, the more likely you are to continue behaving in those ways because doing the opposite will make you uncomfortable.

Tip #1: Accept Your Flaws

First, stop expecting yourself to be perfect all the time. Brené Brown notes that people often frame perfectionism as a positive thing: for instance, “trying to be the best version of yourself.” However, she believes that **perfectionism is actually about trying to control...

The Master Guides: Raise Your Self-Esteem Summary Shortform Resources

For more practical tips that will help you raise your self-esteem, see the following Shortform guides:

• The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden
• The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown
• Transcend, Scott Barry Kaufman
• _[The Courage to Be...

Shortform Exercise: Confront Your Sources of Low Self-Esteem

If you have low self-esteem, you may be repressing negative emotions, struggling to embody someone else’s idea of perfection, and procrastinating on pursuing goals that are meaningful to you. In this exercise, make a plan to confront these bad habits and consciously take healthier actions.

Describe something in your recent past that you feel like you should’ve done better—something that makes you feel guilty or inadequate. Express how this makes you feel, trying your best to embrace and process negative emotions rather than push them away.