Book SummaryThe House of My Mother, by Shari Franke

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The House of My Mother

In August 2023, news broke that Ruby Franke, a family video-blogger (or vlogger), was arrested on aggravated child abuse charges. While some of her 2.5 million followers were shocked, many had long suspected that she was hiding something sinister behind her performance of perfect motherhood on 8 Passengers, her YouTube channel and brand. Some had even petitioned the government to investigate whether she was harming her children. How did the Frankes go from picture-perfect Mormon family influencers to a cautionary tale about vloggers and life coaches?

(Shortform note: Ruby Franke’s arrest came after her 12-year-old son escaped from the house through the window and asked a neighbor for help. Her arrest seemed to confirm some of her followers’ fears that the strict parenting style she became famous for had veered into abuse. It also prompted YouTube to permanently deactivate her account and delete her channel.)

Ruby’s oldest child, Shari Franke, wrote *[The House of My...

The House of My Mother Summary The Franke’s Life Before Family Vlogging

Shari conveys that the Franke family was far from perfect, even before they became vloggers. She believes her early childhood experiences show that Ruby projected an image of maternal perfection while subjecting her children to severe parenting practices. This section will discuss the beginnings of Ruby and Kevin Franke’s relationship, Ruby’s approach to motherhood, and the emotional pain Shari endured during her childhood.

College Sweethearts

Shari’s parents, Ruby Griffiths and Kevin Franke, met at Utah State University in 2000 and married three months later. Ruby was an 18-year-old from a strict Latter-day Saints (LDS) family, and Kevin was a 22-year-old engineering student from a more relaxed LDS family. According to Shari, Kevin was attracted to Ruby’s beauty and confidence. Shari adds that Ruby chose him because she believed she could mold him to her image of an ideal husband and use him to become the perfect wife and mother she envisioned being.

The Frankes Become Parents

According to Shari, Ruby was determined to have many children, seeing motherhood as her primary mission in life. She and Kevin had six children: Ruby, born in 2003, Chad, born in...

The House of My Mother Summary The *8 Passengers *Years

While Shari’s early years were difficult, her life soon became much more challenging. In 2015, Ruby launched the 8 Passengers YouTube channel, slinging her family into the spotlight. This section will discuss how vlogging changed the Franke family’s lives forever. We’ll explore Shari’s experience of growing up in front of the camera and how her mental health worsened during her teenage years.

8 Passengers Changes the Frankes’ Lives

In 2015, Ruby found a new mission beyond motherhood: family vlogging. Shari argues that Ruby’s YouTube channel was a chance to prove herself as a matriarch worthy of admiration and to transform motherhood into a profitable business. Additionally, Shari explains that family vlogging was a growing trend in their Mormon community. Vlogging aligned well with LDS values because it was a way to bear testimony of God’s work in their lives, keep family records, and engage in missionary work by sharing their faith and values with a global audience.

(Shortform note: At least temporarily, Ruby was admired as a mother and LDS member. A 2016 article about her vlog describes her viewers’ comments that [she made motherhood seem...

The House of My Mother Summary The Frankes Get Tangled Up in* *ConneXions

Despite their online image of perfect parenting, Ruby and Kevin struggled to raise their children. In their attempts to deal with challenging behavior, they hired Jodi Hildenbrandt, a parenting advisor who introduced the Frankes to extreme and even abusive discipline tactics. This section will discuss Hildenbrandt and her philosophy, how she treated Chad and Shari, and how Ruby became enmeshed in Hildenbrandt’s company, ConneXions.

The Frankes Hire a Life Coach

Ruby and Kevin couldn’t keep Chad under control. He was expelled from school after playing several pranks. Then, the family took a sponsored trip to Orlando in August 2018, but Chad refused to follow along with Ruby’s plans for creating content. Shari explains that he disrupted filming and sneaked out of his hotel room. A family friend recommended Jodi Hildebrandt, a counselor with a reputation in Utah's LDS community for getting through to challenging kids. Hildebrandt’s profitable mental health program, ConneXions, included workshops, one-on-one coaching, and group coaching emphasizing honesty, personal responsibility, and humility.

(Shortform note: While Hildebrandt had a positive reputation at the...

The House of My Mother Summary The Franke Family Falls Apart

The Frankes’ involvement with Hildebrandt and ConneXions led to the downfall of their social media business and their precarious family ties. This section will describe what happened to the Franke family after Hildebrandt moved into their home, including how Ruby pushed Kevin, Chad, and Shari away and hid the younger children from the outside world.

The Frankes Get Cancelled

In 2020, Ruby got herself and her channel cancelled, and the damage to their reputation was irreparable. In a video with Chad, he revealed that he’d been sleeping on a beanbag for seven months. According to Ruby, he’d lost his right to a bedroom after playing a prank on his younger brother. The revelation sparked public outrage and destroyed the family’s online image. Sponsors distanced themselves, and hundreds of thousands of subscribers left. The family became social media pariahs, while viewers combed through years of content for additional evidence of problematic parenting. In addition, Child Protective Services visited their home, though they didn’t find any evidence of abuse.

(Shortform note: The financial impact of the beanbag video was significant. Previously, the channel’s ad rate was...

The House of My Mother Summary The Franke Family Today

As Ruby’s behavior became more dangerous, Shari took the reins of her own life. She realized she needed to become mentally strong to help her younger siblings, and she began a healing journey. This section will explore Ruby’s arrest and trial, and how Shari and the rest of the Franke family are recovering from their years of abuse.

Ruby’s Arrest and Trial

On August 30, 2023, police raided Ruby’s and Hildebrandt’s homes. They were arrested and charged with multiple counts of aggravated child abuse. The two youngest children had been confined at Hildebrandt’s house and required immediate medical attention. They were placed on a temporary medical hold, and the state took custody of all the underage Franke children.

(Shortform note: The raid came after the youngest boy, who was 12 at the time, escaped from Hildenbrandt’s house through a window, walked to a neighbor’s house, and asked to be taken to a police station. He explained to the police that Hildebrandt had tied him up and refused to give him food or water. After hearing his testimony, the police raided both homes and found the youngest daughter, 10, [hiding in a closet in Hildebrandt’s...

Shortform Exercise: Reflect on The House of My Mother

Shari Franke’s memoir offers a glimpse into the life of family vloggers. Take some time to think about what you’ve read and how it might change your views on the Frankes and family vlogging.

How familiar were you with Shari Franke and the Franke family before reading this guide? Or, what did you know about vlogging prior to reading this guide?