Book SummaryThe High 5 Habit, by Mel Robbins

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The High 5 Habit

Are you ready to transform your life with a simple yet powerful habit? Imagine a practice that can boost your confidence, amplify your positivity, and propel you toward your goals. The High 5 Habit is a game-changing technique that can transform your relationship with yourself. In The High 5 Habit, Mel Robbins explains that when it comes to positive self-talk, we're often our own worst enemy. She argues that starting every day by giving yourself a high five in the mirror can help you silence self-doubt and adopt an attitude of confidence and self-love that will allow you to achieve your dreams.

Robbins is a best-selling author, podcast host, and popular motivational speaker. She gained widespread recognition through her TEDx...

The High 5 Habit Summary What Is the High 5 Habit?

The High 5 Habit is a daily attitude of self-love that boosts your confidence, happiness, and ability to achieve your goals. Robbins explains that while many of us enthusiastically cheer on our partners, children, and colleagues, we often fail to be cheerleaders for ourselves. Instead, we hold onto self-limiting beliefs that prevent us from achieving our dreams. She argues that you can change your mindset by starting your...

The High 5 Habit Summary Why Does the High 5 Habit Work?

Robbins explains that thanks to a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS), what you pay attention to determines your reality. According to Robins, the RAS acts like a filter for the brain, deciding which information gets into your conscious awareness and which gets ignored. It works to prioritize what you find relevant or meaningful. Therefore, if you think negative things about yourself, you’re telling your brain that this information is important, and the RAS will prioritize the information that reinforces that belief.

(Shortform note: Robbins offers a simplified explanation of the RAS, focusing on its role as a filter that decides which sensory signals are important and should be processed by the brain. However, the RAS serves multiple functions within the body. Its primary role is to regulate the sleep-wake cycle and control our level of consciousness.)

According to Robbins, your RAS is designed to work for you. If you go through your day focused on all the...

The High 5 Habit Summary How Do You Build a High 5 Habit?

Robbins says a High 5 Habit begins with three simple steps.

1. When you first wake up, go to your bathroom and look in the mirror. Observe your reflection and think about what you love about who you are as a person.
2. Give your reflection a high five.
3. Repeat every day.

How to Build a Habit

Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, elaborates on what you can do to help form a new habit, like giving yourself a high five every morning. He argues that all habits require three elements:

1. The cue: The cue is a signal that triggers the brain to initiate a particular behavior. It can be something internal or external, such as a specific time of day, a particular location, an emotional state, or even the presence of certain people. Cues can vary depending on the habit and the individual.

2. The routine: The routine...

The High 5 Habit Summary Address Negative Thoughts

Starting your day with a high five is intended to remind you that you're worthy and capable. But, throughout the day, you’re still bound to have moments of self-doubt or negative self-talk. Building a High 5 Habit means not just giving yourself a high five every morning but also cultivating a positive attitude—an inner voice that always celebrates and affirms you. A positive attitude requires you to confront the negative thoughts that tear you down rather than lift you up.

(Shortform note: According to Jon Acuff, author of Soundtracks, it can be difficult to address negative thoughts because the human brain has a natural tendency toward negative overthinking. He explains that the brain responds to minor negative events and significant trauma in the same way, by internalizing the experience and its consequences. This makes it easier for you to remember your failures rather than your successes, often resulting in an exaggerated negative opinion of yourself.)

Robbins offers a three-step process to help you transform negative thoughts as...

The High 5 Habit Summary Reframe Unproductive Emotions

Often, negative thoughts are tied to complicated underlying emotions like fear, doubt, jealousy, and guilt. Robbins argues that addressing the emotions at their root will better equip you to interrupt the negative thoughts that stem from those emotions. She offers suggestions for how to reframe the underlying emotions that lead to negative self-talk.

(Shortform note: Robbins suggests that negative thought patterns are triggered by underlying emotions, but the cognitive-behavioral model of emotion, a widely accepted psychological theory, proposes the opposite—that thoughts trigger emotions. According to this theory, our thoughts influence our emotional response, which subsequently influences our decisions and actions. For instance, if we believe we will fail a test, we may experience anxiety and stress, leading us to avoid studying, ultimately resulting in a failed test.)

The first emotion is fear, which is one of the biggest barriers to people pursuing their dreams. Robbins explains that people are most often afraid of failure, especially when it comes to going after what they want most. But she suggests that you only fail...

Shortform Exercise: Build a High 5 Habit

The High 5 Habit isn’t just about a daily high five, but a habitual attitude of self-love. Changing how you think about and talk to yourself takes practice.

Write down five positive qualities or strengths that you possess. These can be related to any aspect of your life, such as personal traits, skills, or achievements.

Shortform Exercise: Reframe Negative Thought Patterns

As you begin to build a High 5 Habit, you’ll still have moments of self-doubt or negative self-talk. Robbins argues that it’s important to address the negative thoughts as they occur using the following three-step process: Interrupt the thought, replace it with a positive affirmation, and take action to validate that affirmation.

What is a common negative thought or limiting belief that you have? Write it down.