Book SummaryThe Happiness Equation, by Neil Pasricha

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Happiness Equation

Happiness has many benefits—it positively impacts your attitude, your chances of success, and the circumstances that play out in your life. Despite knowing this, many people find it difficult to feel consistently happy.

(Shortform note: Research backs up Pasricha’s claim that many people find it difficult to feel happy. The General Social Survey found that [only 14% of Americans report feeling “very...

The Happiness Equation Summary Obstacle #1: Relying on External Circumstances to Make You Happy

Basing happiness on circumstances being a certain way prevents you from feeling happy. Life’s full of problems and challenges—circumstances are rarely exactly how you want them to be, no matter how hard you try to force them into place. Therefore, there’s always an excuse not to be happy.

Though unwanted circumstances appear to justify your unhappiness, Pasricha argues that happiness isn’t linked to circumstances themselves—rather, it’s linked to how you think about them. More specifically, unwanted experiences aren’t to blame for your unhappiness—your negative thoughts about these experiences are.

(Shortform note: In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale takes this idea one step further—he claims that unwanted circumstances aren’t only a cause of negative thoughts, but are also a result of negative thoughts. He explains that your thoughts about a circumstance determine how you react to it. This reaction—positive or negative—shapes how subsequent circumstances play out. For example, consider how...

The Happiness Equation Summary Obstacle #2: Seeking Approval From Others

Chasing external validation makes you unhappy by pushing you to act in ways that don’t support what you really want. Pasricha explains that many of “your” goals are actually an attempt to gain approval from others, and the way you judge yourself depends on how you perceive others’ reactions to you:

• When you perceive others reacting positively to you, you judge yourself positively and this makes you happy.
• When you perceive others reacting negatively to you, you judge yourself negatively and this makes you unhappy.

When your happiness is tied up with how you perceive others’ reactions to you, you feel impelled to project a pleasing or impressive image of yourself that invites positive feedback. You make decisions about how to look and behave, your career, and your possessions to support this image. However, making decisions and setting goals based on how you want others to react to you creates internal conflict for three reasons:

• Different people have different perspectives and expectations. Your behaviors and goals can’t please or impress everyone, so you won’t always receive positive feedback.
• Basing your happiness on external validation forces you to...

The Happiness Equation Summary Obstacle #3: Working for the Weekend

Thinking of work as something you have to do erodes happiness. According to Pasricha, Western society conditions you to value work only in terms of how it financially supports what you do in your free time—weekends, vacations, and eventual retirement. This attitude promotes two problematic ideas: First, happiness only comes from having free time. Second, work earns your free time and happiness. These ideas fuel the belief that work is simply a means to an end that you must endure.

This line of thinking has a massive impact on your overall happiness—assuming you spend about a third of your life working, the belief that work is something to endure means you spend a third of your life feeling resentful and dissatisfied. What’s worse, these negative feelings drain your energy and bleed over into the free time you work so hard to earn. You either feel too tired or frustrated about work to enjoy your free time, or you spend a large part of that time dreading your return to work.

Since retirement removes the need to work for free time, it’s easy to assume that it breaks this cycle of dissatisfaction. However, Pasricha argues that retirement makes you unhappy, both during...

The Happiness Equation Summary Obstacle #4: Wasting Mental Energy

Overdoing coupled with overthinking leads to mental exhaustion and dissatisfaction. It’s easy to fall into the trap of always being too busy with a neverending to-do list, both at work and at home. Though you’re constantly multi-tasking and running to catch up with all of your chores and obligations, you never feel like you’ve done enough. In the midst of all this multitasking, you’re making hundreds of unimportant decisions, such as choosing whether to start an email with “Hi” or “Hey.” According to Pasricha, all of this doing and thinking wastes a vast amount of energy and prevents you from relaxing and feeling happy.

(Shortform note: Pasricha’s claim that you waste a vast amount of time on unnecessary decisions isn’t an exaggeration. Research suggests that the average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. That equates to over 2,000 decisions each waking hour, or 34 decisions each minute.)

Pasricha argues that much of what you spend your time doing or thinking about is trivial, and that trivial tasks don’t make you feel happier or help you achieve your goals. Instead, they contribute to feelings...

Shortform Exercise: How Will You Train Yourself to Feel Happy?

Pasricha presents multiple solutions to overcome obstacles to happiness. Let’s explore which obstacle impacts you the most to determine which solutions will benefit you the most.

Think about the four obstacles to happiness that Pasricha describes. Did you find any of these surprising? Why or why not?

Shortform Exercise: Practice Thinking Positively

Pasricha claims that you can train yourself to think more positive thoughts by regularly practicing six methods: get active, do good deeds, switch off, engage fully, practice meditation, and be thankful. Let’s explore how you can incorporate these methods into your daily routine.

Do you already practice any of these methods? Describe how they show up in your daily life.