Book SummaryThe Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Desire Map

If you struggle to achieve your goals, or still feel unhappy after achieving them, it might be because those were never the right goals for you. In The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte says people pursue the wrong goals because they think too much about what they want to do when they should instead be focusing on how they want to feel. She explains that by using desire as a guide, you can set goals that will bring you genuine happiness and fulfillment.

LaPorte is an entrepreneur, self-help expert, and leadership consultant who has dedicated her life to helping people understand and harness their emotions. Her...

The Desire Map Summary Desire Pushes You Toward Happiness and Growth

LaPorte begins by saying that desire is a powerful force that drives you toward personal discovery, growth, and achievement. This is because it pushes you to figure out how to get what will make you happy.

For example, if you desire the security of a well-paying job, you’ll be driven to work hard and master a lucrative skill set. Alternatively, if you desire the joy of being in a relationship with a certain person, you’ll naturally try to learn about that person’s interests and work to connect with them.

(Shortform note: Neurochemistry can help explain why desire is such a powerful and important motivator. In The Molecule of More, Lieberman and Long explain that desire is sustained by a chemical called [restricted term]. Your brain releases [restricted term] when you make progress toward goals that are important to you. That [restricted term] release creates intense feelings of pleasure, which motivates you to keep working toward your goals in order to recapture that [restricted term]...

The Desire Map Summary Using Deep-Seated Desires to Set Goals

We’ve discussed what desire is, and why it’s important to listen to your feelings when making decisions. Now we’ll discuss how you can use desire and your other feelings to set long-term goals that are in line with who you are and what you really want out of life.

LaPorte says that most people approach goal-setting with the wrong perspective: They specify things they want to do, believing that achieving those goals will make them feel certain ways. For example, someone might set the goal of becoming a millionaire because they expect wealth to make them feel safe and secure. The problem with this approach is that, even if the person is correct about wealth giving them the desired feeling of safety, they’re likely to be unhappy throughout the long process of building that wealth.

Therefore, LaPorte argues that you should set goals regarding how you want to feel, not specific things you want to achieve. By taking this approach you’ll ensure that you feel good while pursuing your goals, not just after you achieve them. Furthermore, because you’re acting in ways that align with your genuine interests and personality, you’re likely to find that you’re more successful than...

Shortform Exercise: Start Mapping Your Feelings

Now that you’re familiar with LaPorte’s ideas about desires, feelings, and how they can guide your actions, think about your views on emotion. Also, consider how you want to feel and how you can create that feeling for yourself.

Before reading this guide to The Desire Map, how did you view your emotions? For instance, perhaps you believed that feelings were unreliable and should be suppressed in favor of pure rational thought. Or, at the opposite extreme, perhaps you overvalued every fleeting desire and good feeling, instead of focusing on the emotions that remain stable over time like LaPorte suggests.