Book SummaryThe Charisma Myth, by Olivia Fox Cabane

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Charisma Myth

What would it feel like if every time you walked in the room, all eyes were on you? Charisma coach Olivia Fox Cabane wants to help you find out. The Charisma Myth is a guidebook for anyone who has trouble making friends, is tired of being ignored, or wants to boost their people skills and gain a competitive edge in the world of business.

Cabane’s goal is to debunk what she calls the “Charisma Myth”: the notion that charisma is simply something you're born with—or without. She argues that, on the contrary, charisma is nothing more than a set of behaviors that anyone can practice and master. Cabane offers a toolbox of habits and strategies to turn you into a social butterfly, proving that you can be charismatic no matter who you are.

Comparing Cabane to Other Charisma Experts

Other experts in charisma have come to a consensus that...

The Charisma Myth Summary Deconstructing Charisma

Before we cover how you can become the most charismatic person in the room, we need to know exactly what charisma looks like. As Cabane notes, charismatic people are magnetic—all you want to do is spend time with them. But why?

When someone seems mesmerizingly charismatic, Cabane asserts that they’re projecting three irresistible qualities: mindfulness, authority, and goodwill. Whenever you interact with someone, you subconsciously rate them on these three qualities, which we’ll explore in detail in the coming sections:

• Mindfulness shows they are regarding you with their full attention.
• Authority shows they have the ability to influence others and make your life better.
• Goodwill shows they’re likely to treat you well.

Cabane argues that your brain is self-serving and pulls you toward people with these charismatic characteristics because it senses they have the greatest chance of improving your life.

Simon Sinek’s Alternative Definition of Charisma

Other authors seem to have slightly different definitions of charisma than Cabane. For instance, in Start With Why, Simon Sinek contradicts Cabane by...

The Charisma Myth Summary How to Be More Charismatic

Once you learn to recognize these three components of charisma, you can begin cultivating them in yourself. We’ve divided Cabane’s instructions on how to do so into two main steps: First, master your mind and emotions. Then, practice specific charismatic conversation skills.

Step 1: Master Your Mind

Cabane states that the first step to becoming charismatic is to master your mind and learn to direct your emotional state on command. She argues that by practicing the right mental habits, you can authentically summon the components of charisma—mindfulness, authority, and goodwill—whenever you need them.

According to Cabane, the reason that this type of emotional intelligence is so important is that you can’t fake the components of charisma. Humans are incredibly good at perceiving others’ true emotions, particularly by observing body language. When others scan you for mindfulness, authority, and goodwill, they learn far more from your unconscious body language than anything else. If your demeanor contradicts the way you claim to feel, they’ll be able to detect it.

Cabane argues that you can’t circumvent this incongruence by directly controlling every aspect of your...

Shortform Exercise: Plan Your Charisma Habits

Cabane argues that anyone can learn to be charismatic by putting in the time and effort to practice specific habits. Get specific about the habits you want to create.

Evaluate your current conversational skills according to the components of charisma: mindfulness, authority, and goodwill. (For example, is it easy for you to stay mindful in conversation, or are you easily distracted? Are you confident and authoritative around others, or more shy and insecure? Do people find you friendly and approachable, or more distant and aloof?)