Book SummaryThe Asshole Survival Guide, by Robert I. Sutton

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Asshole Survival Guide

Do you feel helpless or angry when confronted with mean people? Do you wish you had better strategies for dealing with them? In The Asshole Survival Guide, Robert I. Sutton offers wisdom for dealing with jerks—rude and tyrannical people of all kinds. Focusing primarily on bad behavior in the workplace, he argues that with the right tools, you can take away a jerk’s power, lessen their effect on you, and keep them from harming others.

Sutton is an organizational psychologist and professor of management science at Stanford University’s School of Engineering. His research focuses on how workplaces can promote healthy dynamics and remove negative dynamics, improve performance, and foster...

The Asshole Survival Guide Summary Identifying Jerks

According to Sutton, you can encounter people who disrespect others anywhere, but these patterns are especially prevalent in the workplace. He defines these “assholes” (which we’ll refer to as jerks) as people who regularly make you or someone else feel degraded, downtrodden, or otherwise upset.

(Shortform note: Some social psychologists classify workplace jerks into five types. First, some jerks kiss up to superiors and tear down their peers to get ahead. Second, other jerks are overly assertive, taking over meetings and stealing the spotlight from others. These people strong-arm others into agreeing with their ideas. The third type is gaslighters who seek power by manipulating, lying, and chipping away at others’ self-esteem. They typically isolate their victims socially. Fourth, you might run into a jerk who seems trustworthy at first but then steals credit from you when you’re in front of a group. Finally, some jerks are micromanagers with poor personal boundaries and unrealistic expectations.)

However, Sutton adds that there’s no single set of traits or behaviors that fit this definition. Everyone...

The Asshole Survival Guide Summary Dealing With Jerks

Just as there’s no one definition of what makes someone a jerk, there’s no one way to deal with a jerk. You must judge for yourself what strategies will be best depending on the situation and the people involved. In this section, we’ll discuss the approaches Sutton details based on the amount of interaction required with the jerk. For each subsequent approach, the level of interaction increases:

1. Leaving the jerk’s environment entirely
2. Reducing your interactions as much as possible
3. Lessening the jerk’s power over your mental state
4. Fighting back with offensive tactics

Approach #1: Remove Yourself Entirely From the Jerk’s Environment

Sutton argues that one of the best ways to deal with chronic jerk behavior is to get away from the person entirely. This might mean moving to a different company, moving to a different location, or switching jobs within the same company so you’re under a different boss. Being entirely out of the jerk’s orbit prevents you from experiencing damaging encounters with them.

(Shortform note: When deciding whether to switch jobs, [consider making a pros and cons list of all the good and bad traits of the...

Shortform Exercise: Develop a Plan for Dealing With a Jerk

Now that you’ve learned some of Sutton’s strategies for dealing with jerks, apply them to a jerk in your life.

Think of a recent encounter you had with someone who exhibited jerk behavior at work. Describe it here. (For example, maybe your boss made you and your coworkers stay late on Friday night to finish a project, but he left early. Or, maybe your coworker snapped at you when you asked her for help.)