Book SummaryThe Antidote, by Oliver Burkeman

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of The Antidote

Ever tried to think positively and still felt unhappy? You’re not alone—many people find it difficult to feel happy no matter how many positive thoughts they force themselves to think.

In The Antidote, journalist and best-selling author Oliver Burkeman sheds light on this conundrum, suggesting that relentlessly trying to be positive can, ironically, make you unhappy. He draws on a variety of philosophies—including Stoicism, Buddhism, and the spiritual teachings of Eckhart Tolle—to argue that**...

The Antidote Summary Part 1: Downsides of Believing Positivity Is the Only Key to Happiness

If you’ve explored self-help advice, you’ve likely come across the belief that thinking positively is the only way to achieve true happiness and success. According to Burkeman, this widely accepted belief has three downsides that impede happiness:

1. Forcing positive thoughts exacerbates negative feelings.
2. Pursuing success goals leads to failure and dissatisfaction.
3. Grasping for control fosters anxiety and disillusionment.

Let’s explore each of these downsides in detail.

Downside #1: Forcing Positive Thoughts Exacerbates Negative Feelings

Burkeman notes that attempting to think only positive thoughts can, ironically, cause you to experience more negative emotions. He explains that trying to focus only on positive thoughts—for example, by using positive affirmations or visualizations—requires you to suppress and ignore, rather than address, negative thoughts and feelings.

However, ignoring negative thoughts doesn’t eradicate them. Instead, these thoughts simmer and grow in the shadows of your mind, creating internal conflict between what you really feel and what you think you should feel. And the moment you feel too stressed out or tired to...

The Antidote Summary Part 2: Alternative Approaches to Achieving Happiness

Now that we’ve covered the ways trying to be positive and goal-oriented can hinder happiness, let’s explore alternative approaches to well-being and contentment. Burkeman draws on a variety of philosophies and ideas—including Stoicism, Buddhism, and the spiritual teachings of Eckhart Tolle—to argue that happiness doesn't come from striving for constant positivity and control but from embracing life’s uncertainty and imperfections.

He suggests that recognizing that life can’t be controlled frees you from the limitations of pursuing constant positivity while enriching your life and revealing joy in unexpected places.

(Shortform note: In The Myth of Sisyphus, philosopher Albert Camus argues similarly that insecurity is an essential facet of human life. He explains that there’s a mismatch between this reality and the psychological need for control over life. He refers to this paradox between our desire for security and control and the fact of insecurity as absurdity—and he argues that the only way to deal with it is by [embracing absurdity and making the most of our limited time on...

Shortform Exercise: How Does Positive Thinking Affect Your Happiness?

According to Burkeman, believing that thinking positively is the only way to achieve happiness and success can make you less happy. In this exercise, explore how forcing yourself to be positive, pursuing success goals, and grasping for control may undermine your well-being and happiness.

Describe a recent situation where you tried to force yourself to think positively. How did this attempt influence your emotional state—did it alleviate or exacerbate your negative feelings about the situation?