Book SummaryStop the Tall Man, Save the Tiger, by Peter Young

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Stop the Tall Man, Save the Tiger

Robert Booty's Authoritarian Influence on the Writer's Family

This section examines how Robert Booty, referred to as "Uncle Robert" throughout the book, infiltrated Paige's household and gained authoritarian power over them. It analyzes tactics employed by Booty to become the sole authority on faith, family, and even personal matters for Paige, her parents (Jack and Cathy Klassen), and eventually the author himself. This tight grip on their lives is what Young considers the key factor in destroying his marriage and home life.

Booty's Tactics to Become the Authority and Gatekeeper to Paige's Family

Young presents a clear pattern of tactics employed by Booty to establish himself as the ultimate figure of authority for Paige. He begins with undermining Paige's self-perception and faith, encouraging dependency on him. Through tactics like shame, guilt, and judgment, and by creating a secretive, paranoid environment, Booty managed to isolate Paige from other sources of support and guidance, making himself the sole arbiter of truth and morality.

The Leader's Use of Disgrace, Regret, and Judgment to Dominate and Undermine the Author's Faith

Booty consistently employed tactics like shame, guilt, and judgment to manipulate and control Paige and her loved ones. Young reveals how Booty repeatedly questioned whether Paige had genuine salvation, demanding she adhere to his interpretation of Christianity. A key example is Paige's baptism without Booty. In his letter to Paige about her tiger dream, Booty severely criticizes her for choosing a different pastor to perform the baptism and calls the entire church, where Paige had made friends and found fellowship, a congregation of "Pharisees." He further undermines her faith by dismissing what she said during her baptism as mere "storytelling" and claiming her "independence" is actually "defiance." These kinds of criticisms directed toward other believers made Paige feel fearful. She feared angering or disappointing Booty, which made her question her own salvation. This doubt pushed her to depend on Booty even more.

Young also describes how Booty frequently questioned his faith after they were married, despite Young's declaration of faith as a teen and participation in various Christian activities and ministries. This undermining reached a peak in the mid-2010s when, encouraged by Paige, Young went through two separate "conversions" under Booty's direction, each supposedly legitimizing his faith after a lifetime of being unsaved. However, Booty's relentless criticisms and judgments of Young's behavior in the aftermath triggered even more doubt. Booty stated that Young was "before God with no way to defend himself." The lawyer [Paige] is tearing me to pieces." These kinds of comments made Young crave Booty's approval and validation in order to be an authentic Christian and, by extension, a worthy husband to Paige.

Context

• Shame, guilt, and judgment are common tactics used in psychological manipulation to create dependency and control. These emotions can make individuals doubt their self-worth and decisions, leading them to rely on the manipulator for validation and guidance.
• In some religious contexts, leaders may use their authority to impose strict interpretations of faith, often to maintain control over followers. This can involve questioning individuals' spiritual experiences or practices that deviate from the leader's teachings.
• Over time, consistent undermining can erode self-confidence, leading individuals to become emotionally dependent on the person who is both the source of criticism and perceived as a guide or authority.
• Salvation is a central tenet in Christianity, often associated with being 'saved' or 'born again.' Doubts about one's salvation can lead to existential anxiety, making individuals more susceptible to seeking validation from perceived spiritual authorities.

Other Perspectives

• Booty's use of the term "Pharisees" might be an attempt to draw a parallel between the church's practices and the biblical criticism of the Pharisees for hypocrisy, which could be a valid concern if the church's actions were not aligning with its professed beliefs.
• The use of strong language such as "defiance" could be an indication of Booty's passion for his beliefs and his desire to see those around him exhibit what he considers to be proper adherence to those beliefs.
• Young's declaration of faith as a teen and involvement in Christian activities does not automatically preclude the need for ongoing spiritual development or reassessment.
• The conversions and subsequent criticisms could have been part of a broader, more complex religious discourse between Young and Booty, with nuances that are not captured by the idea that they only led to more doubt.

Booty Encouraged the Household to Be Secretive, Paranoid, and Exclusive

Young reveals how Booty created an environment of secrecy, paranoia, and exclusivity to isolate Paige and her relatives. Booty's constant criticisms of other Christians and his pronouncements of a conspiracy by Jewish people working to destroy America and Christianity, along with other bizarre beliefs, created a dangerous "us vs. them" mentality within the family. This "us vs. them" mentality led to Paige shunning her sister after she shared accusations about Booty. Rebecca, the author's two younger brothers-in-law, Paige's grandmother, and nearly every other Klassen relative were completely ostracized by Paige's family for not believing in Booty.

The author also describes how Booty promoted secrecy and paranoia among his followers about sharing their beliefs with outsiders, claiming they were at risk due to Jewish schemes for global control. Booty even forbade Young from using words like "Jew" or "Gentile" during cell phone conversations. This secrecy, paranoia, and deliberate isolation from other believers cut Paige's family off from any voices of truth that...

Stop the Tall Man, Save the Tiger Summary How Booty Interfered and Manipulated to Ruin a Union and Household

This next section delves into how Booty’s influence tainted her perception of her relationship and loved ones. The destructive consequences of seeking Booty's advice on all things, from child discipline to managing marital intimacy, created cracks in the foundation of Young's marriage that would eventually lead to its collapse. Booty’s manipulative tactics and twisted teachings empowered Paige to isolate herself and her children from Young and his relatives, while simultaneously justifying behaviors like parental alienation, verbal abuse, and shunning.

Paige's Dependence on Booty Over Her Spouse and Relatives

Young believes Paige's dependence on Booty for guidance instead of relying on her husband or other Christian mentors was the primary reason their marriage deteriorated. Paige routinely spoke with Booty for hours over the phone, often multiple times a week, while simultaneously keeping many of those conversations secret from her husband. This secret communication fostered an unhealthy atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust in Young's marriage. Young describes a situation in which he wanted the dentist to install a minor splint to protect Thomas's two nearly knocked-out...

Stop the Tall Man, Save the Tiger Summary Spiritual Struggles and Faith Crisis Caused by Booty

Through the tactics Booty employed, Young endured periods of profound spiritual struggle and crisis. Booty’s constant questioning of Young’s faith created an environment where Young became obsessed with the nature of salvation, his acceptance of Jesus Christ, and God's plan for his life. Basically, Booty created the problem then positioned himself as the answer. This “problem/answer” paradigm created an unhealthy dependency where Young could only find peace by seeking the man's constant approval.

Initial Acceptance and Reliance on Booty's Teachings Despite Unease

Early on in their marriage, Young admits he was initially accepting of certain Booty pronouncements and teachings simply because Paige believed so fervently in him. Eventually, Young began to appreciate parts of the knowledge Booty imparted in areas like politics, history, and economics. However, Young continued to harbor reservations about Booty, especially regarding his peculiar interpretation of Christianity, his claims of Jewish conspiracies, and his antisemitic remarks.

The Writer's Conflict Reconciling David Booty's Teachings With Faith

Young reveals the internal conflict he experienced trying to...