Book SummaryLife Is in the Transitions, by Bruce Feiler

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Life Is in the Transitions

You’ve likely heard of the idea of a midlife crisis—a phase someone hits in middle age where they reevaluate their choices and confront their mortality. But Bruce Feiler argues in Life Is in the Transitions that this narrative is false: Instead of going through one major transition at a predetermined time, we go through many transitions in life. These upheavals tend to follow a particular pattern; by understanding that pattern, says Feiler, we can better weather the storms that come our way.

Feiler is the author of several books, including The Search, _[The Council of...

Life Is in the Transitions Summary Change at Any Age

According to Feiler, we often think of life in stages—such as childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age—with predictable transitions at predetermined points along that path. For example, you might expect to graduate from college in your early 20s, establish a career in your 30s, and retire in your 60s. Feiler calls this “the linear life,” and he argues it’s a myth: In reality, life doesn’t follow a linear path, and we can face transitions at any point. This myth is dangerous because it colors our expectations; we expect to move smoothly from one phase of life to another, so when we inevitably face curveballs (or don’t hit certain milestones at the same time as our peers), we fear that something has gone wrong.

(Shortform note: Experts explain that our expectations about life are determined by cultural life scripts, which are shared knowledge about life events: what someone belonging to a particular culture can expect and when events are supposed to happen. These cultural life scripts shape how we perceive and judge our progress in life, and they vary across societies—for example, Western people...

Life Is in the Transitions Summary Why Life Changes Are Hard to Navigate

Feiler explains that many people struggle to navigate life changes, especially transformations, for two reasons. Let’s explore each.

Reason 1: Transformations Change the Meaning of Your Life

Humans have an innate need to make meaning out of their life stories—the first expert to recognize this, Feiler says, was psychologist Victor Frankl, who explored how people found meaning in the wake of the Holocaust in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Feiler proposes that meaning is composed of three elements—agency, belonging, and cause:

• Agency is a sense of personal power—the feeling that what you do matters.
• Belonging describes how you fit in with, value, and feel valued by others
• Cause is your connection to something larger than yourself that guides your actions.

(Shortform note: Feiler’s ideas about sources of meaning are similar to Frankl’s. In Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl suggests that you can find meaning by taking actions that align...

Life Is in the Transitions Summary How to Transition After a Life Change

Navigating life changes can be difficult, but Feiler argues that you can make it easier by approaching it intentionally and proactively. He proposes seven strategies that can help you adapt to life changes; let’s explore each.

Strategy 1: Cope With Your Emotions

Feiler’s first strategy involves understanding and finding ways to cope with the emotions that come up while you’re grieving the end of your old reality—particularly fear, sadness, and shame.

How to Cope With Fear

During his research, Feiler observed that many people had to overcome fear as they transitioned from a major life change. He names a few common strategies that can help with this. The first is to compare the discomfort you feel in your current reality to the fear of making a big life change. Transitions can be scary, but staying stuck in the same old rut forever may be even more terrifying.

(Shortform note: According to Ryan Holiday, developing courage—the willingness to do the right thing even though you’re scared—can help you deal with the fear that accompanies major life changes. In _[Courage Is...

Shortform Exercise: Embrace a Change in Your Life

Feiler suggests that life is full of unpredictable changes that can happen at any age. Reflect on one of the changes you’ve experienced to better understand how it has shaped your life and sense of meaning.

Think back to a recent change in your life. Was it an adjustment or a transformation? Describe the change and why you classify it as one or the other.