Book SummaryHow We Live Is How We Die, by Pema Chödrön

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of How We Live Is How We Die

The interrelation of life's impermanence and our encounters with mortality.

Life's inherent nature is characterized by an unending cycle of emergence, transformation, and culmination, underscoring that existence is perpetually changing.

The realization that our thoughts and emotions are transient, much like everything else, is crucial for experiencing a life and a death imbued with profound meaning.

The author emphasizes a core tenet of Buddhism that stresses the importance of acknowledging the impermanence of existence to fully grasp the concepts governing both our living and dying moments. We frequently oppose the constant changes that life presents, while attempting to find steadiness in an ever-changing world. Our internal feelings go through a cyclical process akin to the way seasons transition, encompassing beginnings, development, and endings. Objects that seem stable are also subject to this rule. Chödrön draws attention to a scientific viewpoint which underscores that even objects such as mountains and rocks, which appear to be immobile, are in fact in constant motion, thus accentuating the impermanent nature of the physical universe.

The author underscores the challenges we face in accepting the ephemeral character of our feelings. In our quest for lasting happiness and fulfillment, we may often overlook how transient our emotions truly are. Our quest for steadiness frequently results in a journey marked by addiction and detrimental reliance. We frequently harbor the misconception that our contentment is at the mercy of changing circumstances, leading to a sense of disillusionment when they inevitably do. Chödrön illustrates the transformative journey that begins when one starts to feel affection for another, highlighting how the initial bliss can slowly transition to discomfort due to the inherent uncertainty of life, while also acknowledging the positive transformations it can bring. She underscores the significance of accepting the impermanence of everything, especially our emotions, as a key element in skillfully navigating the voyage of life and its certain conclusion.

Practical Tips

• Start a "Release Ritual" where you write down troubling thoughts or emotions on dissolvable paper and then dissolve them in water. This symbolic act can help you let go of the weight of persistent thoughts, illustrating their temporary nature and your ability to move past them.
• Engage in a weekly decluttering session where you remove or give away items that no longer serve a purpose in your life. This act of letting go can mirror the understanding of impermanence by physically demonstrating how life can continue to be fulfilling even as things come and go.
• Create a 'change challenge' with friends or family where you collectively agree to make one change in your lives each week and discuss the outcomes together. This social approach can provide support and motivation to embrace change. For instance, you could all agree to wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual for a week and share how it affected your daily routine.
• Develop a "seasonal self-care" plan that aligns with your emotional cycles. Once you've identified your personal emotional seasons, tailor your self-care activities to support your needs during each phase. If you tend to feel sluggish during your "autumn," plan energizing activities like hiking or a new hobby during that time. Conversely, if you're more energetic during your "spring," that might be the best time to tackle big projects or start new ventures.
• Take a series of photographs of the same location at different times of the year. Capture images of a particular tree, garden, or street scene during spring, summer, autumn, and winter. This visual record will illustrate the ongoing transformation in the physical world, making the concept of impermanence more vivid and relatable.
• You can diversify your routine by introducing small, unpredictable elements each day to avoid becoming overly dependent on stability. Start by changing your morning routine slightly every day, such as taking a different route to work, trying a new breakfast item, or even altering the order in which you perform your morning tasks. This helps your brain adapt to change and reduces the anxiety associated with unpredictability.
• Start a "Happiness Hypothesis" experiment where you predict the outcome of new experiences or purchases on your contentment. Write down your predictions, then compare them with the actual outcomes after a certain period. This practice can help you identify patterns in what truly contributes to your well-being and what doesn't.
• Develop a "discomfort plan" that outlines steps to take when affection begins to feel overwhelming. This could include breathing exercises, reaching out to a friend, or engaging in a hobby that grounds you. For instance, if you start feeling anxious after a particularly close moment with a loved one, your plan might involve going for a walk or practicing mindfulness to regain a sense of control.

Life is in a constant state of flux, marked by a wondrous rhythm of...

How We Live Is How We Die Summary Throughout the various stages of passing away, chances for spiritual enlightenment arise.

Our transient corporeal existence is released as the five elements progressively disintegrate when we pass away.

This journey provides essential opportunities to achieve enlightenment through the stimulation and unification with the mind's inherent luminosity.

Pema Chödrön introduces the Tibetan Buddhist view on death, explaining that our bodies, which are made up of earth, water, fire, air, and space, slowly break down as we near the end of our lives. Our journey begins when the firmness typically associated with the element of earth transitions into the fluid nature of water, resulting in a sensation of heaviness and a less acute awareness. Water transitions into fire, leading to a sensation of thirst and a reduction in bodily fluids. One might feel a chill as the warmth of a fire fades into the surrounding air, even while being close to the flames. Consciousness ultimately becomes infused with air, leading to difficult respiration and a battle for every inhalation. Upon exhaling for the final time, it is solely our consciousness that persists, ultimately becoming one with the vast emptiness. The last twenty minutes of existence reportedly present a unique...

How We Live Is How We Die Summary Our awareness and understanding evolve through different transitional stages commonly known as bardos.

Our perception of having a consistent identity is misleading, as the aspect we call "consciousness" is in fact a fluid and ever-changing progression.

Meditation serves as a tool to reveal the deceptive nature inherent in all experiences, during our existence and after.

Pema Chödrön challenges the conventional notion that we possess a stable self or soul, suggesting instead that the idea of an unchanging personal identity is actually a fallacy. Consciousness, she explains, is comparable to a river, constantly moving and underscoring the perpetual transformation inherent in the process. Upon examining the occurrences in our lives, we recognize that all is subject to change, which calls into question our belief in a constant self-identity. Our physical form is in a perpetual state of transformation, just as our recollections and psychological states are equally mutable and variable.

She recommends using meditation practices to delve into the profound layers of our consciousness. By cultivating an awareness of the transient quality of our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, we come to understand their ephemeral and insubstantial nature. Chödrön conveys the concept...

How We Live Is How We Die Summary The behaviors and tendencies ingrained within us exert a considerable influence.

Our life experiences are profoundly shaped by ingrained habits that surface as patterns of emotion and behavior.

Our ingrained patterns of seeing and reacting continue to influence us for the duration of our lives and even as we transition beyond death.

The writer presents the concept of "propensities," which are ingrained emotional and behavioral tendencies that have a profound impact on how we perceive and engage with our surroundings. The author describes these tendencies as the accumulation of karmic imprints from numerous past lives. We frequently cause distress for both ourselves and those around us due to deeply ingrained habits of thinking, feeling, and acting.

The author communicates the idea that the habits we frequently consider harmful continue even after our death, an insight also expressed by Trungpa Rinpoche. Our experiences in the bardos and the circumstances of our future rebirths are continuously shaped by enduring elements that persist across various lifetimes.

Context

• In Buddhist philosophy, intention plays a crucial role in shaping karma. By consciously setting positive intentions, individuals can begin to alter their ingrained...

How We Live Is How We Die Summary Guidance and anecdotes are provided for steering through life's transitions.

The book provides specific techniques and practices designed to help individuals navigate the end of life and transition into the next stage.

By remaining serene and empathetic, respecting their belongings, and conducting rituals, we can facilitate their passage.

Chödrön offers practical guidance to support our loved ones during their passage from life to the subsequent stage. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining a calm and compassionate presence, which offers solace to those nearing the end of their journey, reassuring them about the love that surrounds them and the valuable impact they have made on the world. She also encourages gently guiding them to acknowledge their changing circumstances, which facilitates their release from their former existence.

The author suggests specific practices to support those who have passed away, highlighting the principle from Tibetan Buddhism that posits the persistence of consciousness after life ends. Individuals may find solace through the gentle recitation of passages from an established text that originates from Tibet, through soft-spoken words, or by participating in calming dialogue. One should also avoid disturbing...