Book SummaryHow We Learn to Be Brave, by Mariann Edgar Budde

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of How We Learn to Be Brave

In How We Learn to Be Brave, (2023) Episcopal Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde explores the nature of courage and how we can develop it throughout our lives. Her central thesis is that courage isn’t an innate quality that only a few extraordinary people have, but a capacity we can all cultivate through deliberate practice and choice. Budde examines the “decisive moments” we all encounter—times when we must actively choose to go in a new direction, stay committed to our path, accept difficult circumstances, or step up to accept an opportunity—and she shows how these moments shape who we are and who we become.

Budde is the first female Episcopal Bishop of Washington, D.C., a position she’s held since 2011. She gained international attention in 2020 when she spoke out against President Donald Trump’s use of St. John’s Episcopal Church as a backdrop for a photo opportunity after White House protesters were tear-gased in Lafayette Square. In 2025, she urged Trump to exercise compassion for immigrants and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Drawing on her experiences as a leader who has made difficult choices and taken public stands, Budde illustrates how courage develops in...

How We Learn to Be Brave Summary What Bravery Is (and Isn’t)

In this section, we’ll explore Budde’s understanding of courage—what it means to be brave, how courage develops over time, and why we all have the capacity for bravery, even if we don’t recognize it in ourselves. By understanding the nature of courage, we can begin to see how it manifests in our lives and how we might cultivate it more intentionally.

Courage Is a Conscious Choice in Decisive Moments

At the heart of Budde’s understanding of courage is that we all experience “decisive moments”—turning points in our lives when we exercise agency rather than operating on autopilot. These moments might involve deciding to go in a new direction, stay committed to our path, start something new, accept difficult circumstances, or take advantage of an opportunity. Decisive moments involve making a deliberate choice when something significant hangs in the balance. Budde explains that we’re aware of the importance of these moments as we experience them. We’re not just reacting to our circumstances, but actively participating in shaping our future.

(Shortform note: In both Budde’s framework and in photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson’s writing, the “decisive moment” [emerges as...

How We Learn to Be Brave Summary Why Cultivating Courage Matters

Courage isn’t just something we admire in others—it’s a vital capacity that enables us to live with meaning, purpose, and integrity. Budde explores why developing our ability to be brave matters for both our personal growth and our impact on the world.

Courage Helps Us Make Choices That Change Our Lives

The pivotal choices we make shape who we are and who we become, and our decisions alter the trajectory of our lives. As Budde explains, when we choose to act with courage, we often unlock hidden strengths and discover new possibilities we couldn’t previously imagine. These brave moments look different for everyone. For some, it might mean speaking truth to power or standing against injustice. For others, it might involve leaving a comfortable job to pursue a calling, committing to a challenging relationship, or facing difficult circumstances with dignity.

The power of these choices lies in their ability to change us from the inside out. They not only transform our external circumstances but also remake our internal landscapes—how we understand ourselves and our place in the world. Also, the ripple effects of our choices extend beyond our own lives. When we act...

How We Learn to Be Brave Summary How We Practice and Sustain Courage

Understanding courage in theory is valuable, but Budde’s most important message is practical—how to develop bravery and maintain it throughout our lives. In this section, we’ll explore her guidance for building courage through daily practices, developing key virtues, navigating different types of challenging moments, and handling what happens after making brave choices.

Build Courage Through Small, Daily Decisions

Budde explains that when a critical moment arrives, we rarely have time to deliberate. Instead, we respond based on the habits and values we’ve already developed. With consistent practice, courageous choices become more natural because each small act of bravery builds your capacity for integrity and courage. To strengthen your ability to be brave, Budde says:

• Pay closer attention to the small choices you face and what they say about your values.
• Identify patterns that connect situations where you tend to choose comfort over courage.
• Deliberately make the braver choice, even when it feels uncomfortable.
• Speak up when you witness something wrong.
• Take responsibility when you make mistakes.
• Embrace new challenges that stretch your abilities.
• Let...

Shortform Exercise: Reflect on Your Decisive Moments

Bishop Budde emphasizes that courage develops through our responses to decisive moments: turning points when we make conscious choices. Reflecting on past decisive moments in your life can help you recognize patterns in your courage development and prepare for future opportunities to be brave.

Think of a time when you faced a decisive moment that required courage. This could be deciding to go in a new direction, staying committed to a difficult path, starting something new, accepting challenging circumstances, or stepping up to an unexpected opportunity. Briefly describe the situation and the choice you made.