The author explores the complexities of cultural identity, sharing her journey as a mixed Korean-American and describing the evolution of her bond with her Korean heritage.
The writer, who has a mixed heritage with a Korean mother and a Caucasian father, always saw her mother as her connection to her Korean lineage. Her persistence was not diminished by the sense of being an outsider stemming from her mixed racial background. Her altered appearance drew attention from others, causing her to experience a sense of alienation and impacting her feeling of inclusion.
Her Korean grandmother utilized her culinary skills to provide for the family by selling yukgaejang during a time of family instability following the author's grandfather's departure. This complex family history contributed to the author's mixed identity experiences.
The writer's story wove together feelings of cultural esteem and astonishment, along with the peculiar custom of her mother wearing cowboy boots indoors for coziness, all of which were integral to the celebration of their Korean lineage. During her adolescence, she made efforts to blend into the suburban American background, profoundly affecting her cultural alignment. She sought approval from those hesitant to accept her mixed cultural background from Korea.
The author's connection to her Korean roots was strengthened through the traditional cooking practices and the significant behaviors and feelings her mother displayed, especially during the mourning period for her grandmother. The mother's public expression of sorrow emphasized her deep cultural roots.
The author's...
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The author faced considerable emotional and practical challenges while caring for her mother's needs. Her mother, diagnosed with stage IV squamous-cell carcinoma, underwent a strenuous treatment regimen. The author put her career on hold, cleared out her house, and devoted her entire summer to looking after her mother, intending to pick up her professional journey depending on her mother's recovery. The intense supervision by her mother led to a significant transformation in the author's relationship with her father. The author meticulously ensured her mother's daily intake of food and medication, taking on the demanding task of managing her mother's nutritional needs during her deteriorating health.
The author's mother's health deteriorated quickly. The author was flooded with a sense of powerlessness and remorse for perhaps not stepping in sooner while witnessing the troubling and hostile events involving her mother during car journeys, which led to visits to the...
The author's path through sorrow is not marked by separate stages, but through moving stories, we gain an understanding of her methods for coping with bereavement and her progression toward peace and resolution after her mother's passing.
The author initially dealt with her sadness by diving into her work and other pursuits, facing her grief during the funeral services, and grappling with different methods to come to terms with her loss. The author reflects on her regret for engaging in the traditional rituals associated with mourning and the societal pressures to adhere to standard displays of grief. The writer, contemplating her role in the family dynamic, comes to understand that her aspirations and the process of looking at aged snapshots provide a structure for comprehending her grief, which is inextricably linked to the relationship with her mother. Additionally, she grapples with anger and a tendency to withdraw after her father's car accident, which reveals profound turmoil and the complex array of emotions that surface following a catastrophic event.
Crying in H Mart
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