Book SummaryCoping with Trauma-Related Dissociation, by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation

Developing an understanding of dissociation and mastering its management.

People frequently cultivate an intense apprehension regarding their inner emotional and psychological states.

"Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation" discusses the intense fear of their own emotional responses that individuals, especially those who have endured trauma in their formative years, often develop. Individuals with this condition often shy away from confronting their own emotions, physical sensations, and memories because these can be intensely overwhelming, potentially embarrassing, or could provoke considerable distress. People may try to ignore or shift their focus away from these internal emotions, leading to a disconnection from their self-awareness and personal insights. The writers stress that such avoidance, though comprehensible, may hinder the healing journey and could exacerbate emotional distress.

The book delves into three primary causes that give rise to this particular fear. First, individuals who experienced trauma during their formative years often lacked the essential support and guidance from those responsible for their care to navigate and make sense of intense emotional experiences. People might feel overwhelmed and utterly helpless when faced with common emotions like sadness, frustration, or discomfort. Second, they may have developed harmful core beliefs about emotions, viewing these feelings as inherently positive or negative, and associating them with perceived flaws in their own character. They may hold the belief that their anger is indicative of an innate wickedness, and view their sadness as a sign of vulnerability and a lack of worthiness for love. Their unease grows, and the judgment further solidifies their tendency to steer clear of such circumstances. Certain internal sensations may act as triggers linked to past traumas, leading to the emergence of powerful feelings and memories. For example, a quickened pulse or tightness in the chest might evoke recollections of previous fear and helplessness, which could result in efforts to repress or completely avoid these emotions.

People may experience discomfort and unease when their activities do not completely engage their attention.

Individuals who typically avoid upsetting emotions and ideas often succeed in distancing themselves from these inner experiences by engaging deeply in everyday activities. Participating in different tasks and keeping attention directed outward can provide temporary relief by preventing the surfacing of intrusive thoughts and emotions. However, Boon and her colleagues highlight that when the demands of work or other obligations diminish, the turmoil and distress within may reemerge more forcefully. Numerous people often find the calmness of peaceful evenings, along with weekends and holidays, to be challenging.

Classifying emotions according to their benefits or detriments.

The authors highlight that people who have endured trauma frequently classify their emotions as either 'good' or 'bad,' leading to self-judgment and a sense of shame. They may believe that only "bad" people experience anger, or that feeling needy makes them weak and pathetic. This classification reinforces the tendency to avoid or suppress emotions, resulting in a heightened feeling of estrangement from one's self and inner experiences.

Linking internal experiences to past traumas.

Memories of past traumatic events can be triggered and pushed to the surface by a range of internal experiences, such as physical sensations, emotional conditions, or fleeting thoughts. Current circumstances, while harmless, evoke memories of the original traumatic event. Specific smells, unique tones of voice, or certain physical stances can unconsciously evoke recollections of previous experiences linked to fear and vulnerability, leading to a disproportionate and occasionally overwhelming reaction to present circumstances. Triggers can often lead to reactions that happen without the individual's conscious awareness, which can result in feelings of bewilderment and apprehension.

Navigating the initial difficulties that arise in therapeutic sessions when concentrating on the dissociative elements of an individual's character.

Boon and her colleagues often find that the early stages, which involve acknowledging and interacting with the dissociative elements of an individual's personality, typically result in initial difficulties. The idea that a person comprises separate aspects, each with its own set of feelings, ideas, and memories, can be unsettling and might lead to complete rejection. In addition, individuals may be fearful of these parts and what they might do, worried about losing control to them or being overwhelmed by their intense emotions. Confusion and internal conflict among various facets of an individual's identity can make even simple daily activities more complex.

Choosing to dismiss the diagnosis and deliberately avoiding certain elements

An initial hurdle faced is accepting a diagnosis of a dissociative disorder. The notion of having separate internal identities is often so daunting and strange that people tend to ascribe their challenges to more familiar mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression, rather than acknowledging the existence of multiple facets within themselves. People frequently attempt to disregard or conceal aspects of their identity due to apprehension about the potential consequences of fully recognizing their presence.

Experiencing unease at the thought of allowing various facets of oneself to take control.

Boon...

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation Summary It is crucial to cultivate abilities that aid in the regulation of feelings and cognitive processes.

Developing the skill to concentrate on the present.

The authors emphasize the importance of developing the skill to remain present, which is a crucial part of healing from dissociative and traumatic events. The book outlines various strategies that individuals, especially those with dissociative disorders, use to distance themselves from their immediate experiences. Individuals frequently have flashbacks, become absorbed in daydreams or fantasies, experience a detachment from their feelings, or grapple with an altered perception of time. The authors recommend the use of particular sensory experiences that act as grounding techniques, in conjunction with mindfulness exercises, to gradually strengthen an individual's ability to remain fully attentive and present.

Using cues from the current moment to remain centered.

Individuals may employ specific sensory experiences to firmly anchor themselves in the present. Anchors can manifest through visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or gustatory stimuli. A person may focus on the feeling of their feet pressing against the ground, the cadence of their breathing, the visual details of an item nearby, or the taste of a candy...

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation Summary Developing advantageous routines and practices for daily self-maintenance.

Establishing a regular and advantageous pattern for everyday activities.

Van der Hart and his colleagues underscore the significance of creating stable and constructive everyday habits. Establishing a consistent routine contributes to feelings of steadiness and reliability, significantly aiding in the diminishment of stress and regulation of emotional variances. Enhancing one's ability to manage time effectively could also diminish the likelihood of encountering situations that evoke troubling recollections.

Resolving internal disputes related to managing time, finishing tasks, and structuring organization by fostering cooperation between the various facets of a person's personality.

The authors recognize that those suffering from dissociative disorders frequently encounter challenges in managing their time, completing tasks, and preserving organizational skills. Within an individual, different aspects may show unique tendencies in time management: some may adopt a relaxed approach and postpone tasks, while others may favor rigorous scheduling and maintain a continuous stream of tasks, and there are those whose sense of time is fragmented, leading to confusion and...

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation Summary Cultivating effective interpersonal communication skills

The importance of fostering strong, reliable relationships should not be underestimated.

The authors emphasize the importance of fostering relationships to aid in emotional healing and to overcome the consequences of traumatic events. They elucidate that forming a secure bond during early years is crucial for cultivating emotional regulation, fostering trustworthiness, and establishing a consistent self-identity. Individuals who have experienced trauma within their interpersonal relationships often realize that their initial bonds were tainted by maltreatment, deprivation, or an absence of consistency. This often leads to a deep-seated fear of creating intimate relationships, sharing personal information, and revealing weaknesses, in addition to a diminished capacity to develop trust and forge significant relationships with others.

Fundamental qualities of healthy relationships include being grounded in security, trust, and respect.

The authors emphasize that a number of fundamental characteristics are indicative of a robust and positive relationship. The foundation of the relationship is constructed on mutual understanding and regard for each other's feelings and...