Podcasts > The Game w/ Alex Hormozi > Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

By Alex Hormozi

In this episode of The Game w/ Alex Hormozi, Hormozi reframes the concept of "cringe" as evidence of personal growth rather than a source of shame. He argues that when people label others' efforts as cringe, they're managing their own insecurities about commitment and achievement. Hormozi explains that caring deeply about any pursuit makes you vulnerable to mockery, but allowing fear of judgment to prevent action is the most self-defeating outcome of all.

Hormozi shares his own journey from having $1,000 in his bank account to building companies generating over $250 million in annual revenue, emphasizing the importance of documenting your progress from the beginning. He discusses the iterative process of improvement, promising that everyone's first attempts will be subpar but that consistent effort and feedback lead to mastery. The episode addresses the trap of comparing your early work to others' polished results and encourages pushing forward despite criticism and discomfort.

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Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

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Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

1-Page Summary

Reframing "Cringe" As a Sign of Progress

Alex Hormozi encourages listeners to reconsider "cringe," transforming it from a mark of ridicule into evidence of personal growth and commitment.

Hormozi defines cringe as "supposed secondhand embarrassment," explaining that when people label something as cringe, they're really managing their own insecurities rather than making a genuine judgment about quality. This defensive reaction is actually a status play—an attempt to protect one's self-image when confronted by another person's visible commitment or achievement. When someone calls another's effort cringe, they're less concerned with critiquing the pursuit itself and more focused on managing the discomfort they feel about their own lack of effort.

He points out that passion in any activity—bodybuilding, chess, making YouTube videos, or writing—makes someone vulnerable to being labeled cringe. This happens because caring deeply is often seen as uncool by those stuck in adolescent patterns of fearing judgment. These critics "got older, but never grew up," and their mockery reveals unresolved fears about being judged themselves.

Hormozi distinguishes between shame (breaking others' rules), guilt (violating personal values), and cringe (secondhand embarrassment). He encourages prioritizing personal goals over fear of outsiders' judgments. The most self-defeating outcome, he argues, is fearing to appear cringe. Quoting Don Mazzetti, he emphasizes that "the cringiest thing of all is to be scared about looking cringe," as this fear leads to inaction and an unfulfilled life. Mockery often reflects the critic's own insecurity—they may resent their own lack of resolve rather than genuinely disliking another's commitment.

Starting From Failure and Documenting Your Journey

Hormozi emphasizes the value of documenting the journey from failure, both for personal growth and as an example to others.

He recounts his personal turning point when he had only $1,000 in his bank account after losing everything: "I will never let this happen again. And this will be the beginning of my comeback story." He now makes 450 pieces of content per week, broke the Guinness World Record for fastest-selling nonfiction ($106 million in one weekend), and owns companies with over $250 million in aggregate annual revenue.

Despite these successes, Hormozi openly admits one of his few regrets: not documenting his early struggles due to shame. He compares it to overweight people avoiding photographs, acknowledging that embarrassment makes people hesitate to record their low points. However, he now intentionally archives everything—his first ad, first video, first Instagram post—explaining, "My goal was to document the lessons so that I had something to look back to."

He emphasizes that not documenting the struggle means losing the chance to study your evolution and share your progression with others. If notable figures like Warren Buffett or Elon Musk had kept video diaries of their early journeys, those would be invaluable blueprints for learning. Hormozi's advice is clear: "To anybody who's on the journey right now, document more."

The Iterative Process of Improvement and Getting Better

Hormozi emphasizes that mastery comes from embracing discomfort, iteration, and consistency.

He states that "the only way to get good is to be willing to be bad for a very long time," promising creators that their first work will be "cringe." This is universal for anyone learning something new. He shares his own embarrassing early work—first ads, posts, and videos—to illustrate that creating subpar early work is essential on the journey toward mastery.

Hormozi explains the improvement process: "you'll figure it out as long as you start, take feedback to get better and never stop." This cycle of starting, gathering feedback, implementing it, and repeating compounds progress. He points to his own dramatic improvement—from a single cringe ad to 450 pieces of content per week—as proof that persisting through the awkward early phase is necessary. By comparing his cringeworthy beginnings to his sophisticated present, Hormozi shows that recognizing progress through consistency and iteration motivates continued effort despite imperfections.

Overcoming Comparison and Social Judgment

Hormozi addresses the trap of comparison and public judgment for those pursuing success and creative growth.

He highlights a common mistake: comparing your current "chapter" to someone else's polished, later stage. Many judge their first attempts against another person's 25th or 1000th iteration, breeding discouragement. Hormozi reminds listeners that countless failures lie behind every successful person, mostly unseen.

Quoting Charlie Munger, he emphasizes that "the world is too rational of a place to reward the undeserving." Success requires genuine skill development, not luck. To get what you want, you must deserve it, which means being willing to be bad and uncomfortable for an extended period. Hormozi promises that initial efforts will be cringe, but this is universal on the road to mastery.

He encourages moving forward despite criticism, noting that when people question your seriousness, it often reveals their own lack of commitment rather than any failure on your part. The ability to withstand public doubt and keep creating despite discomfort distinguishes those who eventually achieve significance from those who do not.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Secondhand embarrassment occurs when you feel discomfort on behalf of someone else’s awkward or embarrassing situation, even though you are not directly involved. Shame is a painful feeling about having done something wrong or failing to meet social standards, focused on the self. Guilt involves feeling responsible for a specific action that violates personal morals or values. Unlike shame and guilt, secondhand embarrassment is about empathizing with another’s perceived social misstep rather than self-judgment.
  • A "status play" is a social move where someone tries to elevate their own position or image by putting others down. Calling something "cringe" serves as a status play by allowing the critic to appear superior or more socially accepted. It deflects attention from their own insecurities by targeting someone else's vulnerability or effort. This behavior helps maintain their self-esteem in social hierarchies.
  • People label others' efforts as "cringe" to protect their own self-esteem by distancing themselves from vulnerability. This reaction stems from social comparison, where seeing someone else's boldness highlights their own insecurities. It also serves as a way to enforce social norms by mocking behaviors seen as socially awkward or immature. Ultimately, calling something "cringe" is a defensive mechanism to avoid confronting personal fears of judgment or failure.
  • Shame is a feeling that arises when you believe you have violated societal or external rules, leading to a sense of being judged or rejected by others. Guilt occurs when you feel you have acted against your own personal values or moral standards, causing internal conflict. Cringe is a reaction of secondhand embarrassment, often triggered by witnessing others' actions that make you uncomfortable due to your own insecurities. Unlike shame and guilt, cringe is less about the act itself and more about managing personal discomfort in social situations.
  • Don Mazzetti's quote highlights that fearing to appear "cringe" creates a mental barrier that stops people from trying new things or expressing themselves. This fear leads to inaction, preventing growth and fulfillment. Overcoming this fear is crucial for personal development and creativity. Embracing vulnerability allows progress despite potential embarrassment.
  • Documenting personal struggles creates a detailed record of growth that helps identify patterns and lessons over time. It builds resilience by normalizing failure and reducing shame associated with setbacks. Sharing these experiences can inspire and guide others facing similar challenges. This practice also enhances self-awareness and accountability, accelerating improvement.
  • Alex Hormozi set a Guinness World Record for the fastest-selling nonfiction book, generating $106 million in sales in one weekend. This achievement highlights his success and credibility as an entrepreneur and author. It serves as evidence of his expertise in business and marketing. The record underscores the impact of his strategies and the scale of his accomplishments.
  • The iterative process of improvement involves repeatedly trying, receiving feedback, and making adjustments to enhance skills or work. Each cycle helps identify mistakes and areas for growth, gradually refining performance. This approach relies on patience and persistence, as progress is often slow and non-linear. Over time, consistent iteration builds competence and confidence.
  • Comparing your early efforts to others' polished results ignores the time and practice behind their success. This creates unrealistic expectations and discourages persistence. It also fosters self-doubt by focusing on perceived shortcomings rather than growth. Recognizing progress as a gradual process helps maintain motivation and resilience.
  • Charlie Munger is a renowned investor and vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, known for his emphasis on rational decision-making and meritocracy. His quote means that success is earned through skill, effort, and deserving outcomes, not by luck or shortcuts. It underscores the importance of developing genuine abilities and persistence to achieve lasting success. This idea supports Hormozi's message that hard work and improvement, not instant perfection, lead to true accomplishment.
  • Public criticism can trigger feelings of shame, anxiety, and self-doubt in creators, undermining their confidence. Social judgment often activates the brain's threat response, making individuals more sensitive to rejection and less willing to take risks. This fear of negative evaluation can lead to avoidance behaviors, stalling creative growth and innovation. Over time, repeated exposure to criticism without support can cause burnout or withdrawal from creative pursuits.
  • "Embracing discomfort" means willingly facing challenges and awkwardness instead of avoiding them. It involves accepting mistakes and failures as natural parts of learning. This mindset helps build resilience and accelerates skill development. Avoiding discomfort often stalls progress and growth.

Counterarguments

  • While some people may label things as "cringe" due to insecurity, others may do so based on genuine aesthetic or ethical standards, or simply personal taste, without underlying insecurity or status motives.
  • Not all criticism or mockery is rooted in personal insecurity; sometimes it reflects legitimate concerns about quality, appropriateness, or social norms.
  • The concept of "cringe" can serve a social function by signaling behaviors that are out of step with group values or expectations, which can help maintain social cohesion.
  • Documenting every aspect of one's journey may not be practical or desirable for everyone, and some may prefer privacy or selective sharing for valid personal or professional reasons.
  • The idea that critics "never grew up" generalizes and pathologizes all critics, which may not be fair or accurate; some criticism can be constructive or well-intentioned.
  • Emphasizing public documentation and visibility may not account for cultural differences regarding humility, modesty, or the value of private growth.
  • The assertion that "the world is too rational to reward the undeserving" overlooks the role of luck, privilege, and systemic inequalities in success.
  • Comparing oneself to others can sometimes be motivating or provide useful benchmarks, rather than always leading to discouragement.
  • The focus on relentless iteration and public output may not suit all personalities, learning styles, or fields, where reflection and private practice are equally valuable.
  • Some people may find fulfillment and growth without seeking mastery or public recognition, challenging the idea that visible progress and overcoming "cringe" are universally necessary for a meaningful life.

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Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

Reframing "Cringe" As a Sign of Progress

Alex Hormozi encourages a re-examination of the concept of "cringe," shifting the perception from ridicule to recognition of personal growth and commitment.

Understanding Cringe As Defense, Not Criticism

Hormozi defines cringe as "supposed secondhand embarrassment," explaining that when people label something as cringe, they're really expressing “I'm embarrassed for them.” This reaction is not rooted in a genuine judgment of quality or worthiness, but rather exposes personal insecurities. Labeling something as cringe is a defensive maneuver—a status play—intended to adjust or protect one’s own standing, especially when threatened by another person's visible commitment, passion, or achievement.

Cringe Exposes Secondhand Embarrassment, Revealing Insecurity Rather Than Genuine Judgment of Quality or Worthiness

Labeling Something Cringe Elevates Status By Showing Commitment Threats Self-Image

When someone describes another’s effort as cringe, it’s less about critiquing the pursuit itself and more about managing how that commitment makes them feel about their own efforts and status. By calling attention to someone else’s enthusiasm or dedication, the critic attempts to elevate their own image and reduce the discomfort they feel when confronted by commitment or ambition.

Caring Deeply About a Pursuit May Appear Cringe

Hormozi highlights that passion and effort in nearly any activity—be it bodybuilding (“obsessed over muscles”), playing chess (“staring at a board for hours”), making YouTube videos (“setting up your lights and talk to your little camera”), or writing books (“pouring your soul into words… most people will never read”)—make the person a target for being labeled as cringe. This vulnerability arises because genuinely caring is often seen as uncool by those who are stuck in adolescent patterns of fearing judgment from others.

Passion and Effort Make any Activity Vulnerable To Ridicule

Caring Is Seen As Uncool by Those Stuck In Adolescent Fears of Judgment

Those who ridicule commitment and caring are typically people who "got older, but never grew up." Their discomfort with visible effort and dedication stems from unresolved adolescent fears about being judged.

Shame, Guilt, and Cringe: Making Better Decisions

Hormozi distinguishes between shame, guilt, and cringe: shame comes from breaking someone else’s rules, guilt arises from violating one’s own principles, and cringe is rooted in the perception of secondhand embarrassment. He encourages self-reflection on whose rules are being broken and whether we agree to them. He suggests that decisions should prioritize personal goals over fear of outsiders' judgments.

Shame Breaks Others' Rules; Guilt Violates Personal Values

Evaluating Judgments Vs. Pursuing Goals

Instead of conformi ...

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Reframing "Cringe" As a Sign of Progress

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Secondhand embarrassment occurs when you feel embarrassed on behalf of someone else, even though you are not the one directly involved. It is an empathetic response triggered by witnessing another person's awkward or uncomfortable situation. Direct embarrassment happens when you yourself are the subject of the awkwardness or mistake. Secondhand embarrassment reflects your emotional reaction to others' experiences, not your own actions.
  • A "status play" is a social action aimed at improving or protecting one's perceived social rank. Labeling something as cringe serves as a status play by distancing oneself from the target's behavior to appear superior or more socially acceptable. It helps the critic maintain or elevate their self-image by implying they are above the "embarrassing" behavior. This tactic often masks the critic's own insecurities or fears about their status.
  • People feel threatened by others' visible commitment or achievement because it challenges their own self-esteem and sense of competence. This triggers social comparison, where they measure themselves against others and may feel inferior. The discomfort arises from fear of judgment or exposure of their own perceived shortcomings. To protect their self-image, they may react defensively by belittling others.
  • Shame involves feeling bad because you have violated social or external rules imposed by others. Guilt arises when you personally believe you have acted against your own moral or ethical standards. Cringe is a reaction to feeling embarrassed on behalf of someone else, often reflecting your own discomfort rather than their wrongdoing. This distinction helps clarify whether negative feelings come from external judgment, internal values, or empathetic embarrassment.
  • "Adolescent fears of judgment" refer to the heightened sensitivity during teenage years to how others perceive them, often driven by a developing sense of identity. Emotional maturity involves overcoming this fear by valuing personal growth over external approval. Adults who remain stuck in these fears may avoid risks or authentic expression to prevent criticism. Thus, emotional maturity is linked to confidently embracing vulnerability despite potential judgment.
  • Don Mazzetti is a motivational speaker known for encouraging boldness and authenticity. His quote highlights that fearing to appear "cringe" prevents people from taking risks and expressing themselves fully. This fear creates a self-imposed barrier that limits personal growth and achievement. Embracing potential embarrassment is essential to overcoming hesitation and pursuing meaningful go ...

Counterarguments

  • Not all uses of the term "cringe" stem from insecurity or status defense; sometimes it reflects genuine aesthetic or social discomfort with certain behaviors, independent of personal insecurity.
  • Labeling something as "cringe" can sometimes be a form of social feedback that helps maintain shared norms or boundaries, rather than always being a negative or defensive act.
  • Some people may find certain displays of passion or commitment off-putting due to cultural or contextual differences, not necessarily because of immaturity or unresolved adolescent fears.
  • The fear of appearing "cringe" can sometimes serve as a useful social check, preventing behaviors that might be genuinely disruptive or inappropriate in certain contexts.
  • Mockery or criticism of others' dedication does not always indicate insecurity or inferiority; it can also arise from differing values, priorities, or perspectives on what c ...

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Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

Starting From Failure and Documenting Your Journey

Alex Hormozi emphasizes the value of beginning again after failure and meticulously documenting that process, both for personal growth and as an example to others.

"Starting Your Comeback Sparks Motivation and Accountability"

Alex Hormozi's Redemption: A Journey From $1,000

Hormozi recounts his personal turning point, stating, "I'm grateful cause I knew the first, the moment that I actually started documenting purposefully was the day that I had a thousand dollars in my life in my bank account after I lost everything. I was like, I will never let this happen again. And this will be the beginning of my comeback story." He highlights how losing everything, twice, pushed him to treat his dire situation as the beginning of something new and motivated. To illustrate the distance traveled, he references his current success—making 450 pieces of content per week, breaking the Guinness World Record for the fastest-selling nonfiction of all time ($106 million in sales in one weekend), and owning a portfolio of companies with over $250 million in aggregate annual revenue.

Transforming Failure Into the Start of Success

Hormozi frames his journey from having only $1,000 as his chance to spark real change. He stresses the power in seeing low moments not as endpoints but as the catalyst for a new and better chapter.

Struggle Despite Shame Documents Progress

Hormozi openly discusses the tendency to avoid documenting early struggles due to embarrassment or dissatisfaction with quality or appearance. He admits, "I don't have many regrets in life but one of them is that I didn't document the struggle. I didn't document the journey. Cause I was ashamed of it. I didn't want anyone to know. It's kind of like the people who like, when they're overweight, they don't wanna take pictures of themselves cause they're ashamed." He recognizes that shame makes people hesitate to create records of their low points, but insists that this stage is essential for authentic growth and later reflection.

Preserving Early Work and Failures as Learning and Motivation Artifacts

Record First Attempts to Track Progress and Learn Lessons

Hormozi is intentional about archiving his journey. He says, "I try to keep everything. So I have like my lifelong texts and videos and pictures and I'm very grateful for that." He shares actual remnants of his past, including his first ad, first profes ...

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Starting From Failure and Documenting Your Journey

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Documenting one's journey may not be practical or desirable for everyone, as some people value privacy or may find the process distracting from actual progress.
  • Not all individuals have the resources, time, or technical skills to consistently document their struggles and growth, especially when facing significant hardship.
  • Publicly sharing failures and low points can expose individuals to criticism, judgment, or exploitation, which may outweigh the potential benefits for some.
  • The value of documenting and sharing one's journey may be overstated, as personal growth and learning can occur without external validation or public records.
  • Hormozi's success and ability to leverage documentation as a motivational tool may not be replicable for most people, making his advice less universally applicable.
  • Focusing on documentation could lead to performative behavior, where individuals prioritize creating content over gen ...

Actionables

  • you can set up a private “growth vault” folder on your phone or computer where you record short voice memos or jot down notes every time you face a setback or feel embarrassed, then revisit these entries monthly to spot patterns and lessons you might otherwise miss
  • (for example, after a tough day at work or a failed attempt at a new habit, record a 30-second voice memo describing what happened and how you feel, then listen back after a month to see how your perspective has changed and what you’ve learned).
  • a practical way to make documenting struggles less intimidating is to use a simple code or emoji system in your daily planner or calendar to mark days when you experience a low point, then add a one-sentence summary of what happened and how you responded
  • (for example, use a blue dot for tough days and write “missed deadline, felt frustrated, took a walk to reset” so you can later review how you handled challenges and track your growth over time).
  • you can create a “future encouragement” email draft ...

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Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

The Iterative Process of Improvement and Getting Better

Alex Hormozi emphasizes that improvement and mastery are products of embracing discomfort, iteration, and consistency, using his own journey as a case study.

Mastery Demands Willingness to Endure Being Bad for a While

The Path to Excellence Requires an Unskilled Phase With Subpar Work Before Competence Emerges

Hormozi states that "the only way to get good is to be willing to be bad for a very long time." He promises creators that their first videos, content pieces, or products will be "cringe," but insists that this is a universal experience for anyone learning something new.

Mastery Involves Creating Embarrassing Early Work

He illustrates this point by sharing examples of his own early efforts: “This is the first ad I ever made. Now compare that to my first professional ad that I ever made. It’s super cringe. Okay, here’s my cringy first post... Here’s my first content piece that I ever made... And this is the first YouTube video that I made... this is my first IG post…” He underscores that creating subpar early work is an essential step on the journey toward eventual mastery.

Compounding Feedback Loops Drive Improvement

Progress Formula: Start, Gather Feedback, Implement, Repeat

Hormozi explains the fundamental process of improvement: "you'll figure it out as long as you start, take feedback to get better and never stop." The cycle of starting, gathering feedback, implementing it, and repeating the process is what compounds progress.

From First Ad to 450 Weekly Content Pieces: Alex Hormozi's Record-Breaking Sales Refinement

He references his own dramatic improvement as proof, noting, "This is the first piece of content I ever made. This is the first ad I ever made. Fast forward today, we make 450 pieces per week.” Hormozi implies t ...

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The Iterative Process of Improvement and Getting Better

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Not all improvement requires enduring a prolonged period of being unskilled; some individuals may achieve competence quickly due to prior related experience or natural aptitude.
  • The necessity of producing "cringe" or embarrassing early work may be overstated; some people can produce competent work from the outset, especially with guidance or structured learning.
  • Iteration and consistency are important, but targeted practice, mentorship, and deliberate learning strategies can accelerate mastery more effectively than repetition alone.
  • Feedback quality and relevance are crucial; simply gathering feedback and repeating cycles does not guarantee improvement if the feedback is poor or misapplied.
  • The narrative may underplay the role of external factors such as access to resources, support networks, or opportunities, which can significantly impact the pace and qualit ...

Actionables

  • you can create a “cringe vault” by saving your earliest attempts at any new skill in a private folder, then set a monthly reminder to review these files and jot down specific improvements you notice, which helps you see progress and normalize early awkwardness.
  • a practical way to embrace discomfort is to set a timer for ten minutes each day to deliberately work on the part of your skill you feel least confident about, then write a single sentence about what felt most awkward or challenging, building comfort with imperfection.
  • you can use a feedback bingo card by ...

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Embrace The Cringe | Ep 961

Overcoming Comparison and Social Judgment

Hormozi addresses the pervasive issue of personal comparison and public judgment, especially among those aiming for success and creative growth.

Avoid Comparing Your Drafts To Others' Polished Work

Hormozi highlights a common trap: many people compare their current state or “chapter” to someone else’s much later and more polished stage. He illustrates this by inviting people to compare his very first advertisement to his first professional ad, emphasizing the radical difference and the time required to reach a level of proficiency. Many mistakenly judge their first drafts or attempts against another person’s 25th or even 1000th iteration, which breeds hopelessness and discouragement. Hormozi reminds listeners that countless failures and early missteps lie behind every successful person, mostly unseen by the outside world.

The World Rewards Merit; Become Good Rather Than Hope For Luck

Quoting Charlie Munger, Hormozi underscores that “the world is too rational of a place to reward the undeserving.” Achieving meaningful success requires genuine skill development, not mere luck. He stresses the principle that there are no shortcuts to success. To get what you want, you must deserve it, which means you have to be good at what you do. There’s only one path to proficiency: a willingness to be bad and uncomfortable for an extended period. Hormozi promises that initial efforts—whether they are videos, content, or first products—will be “cringe,” ...

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Overcoming Comparison and Social Judgment

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While comparing early work to others' polished work can be discouraging, some individuals find motivation and inspiration in seeing what is possible, using comparison as a tool for growth rather than discouragement.
  • The idea that the world always rewards merit and skill overlooks the role of privilege, systemic barriers, and luck in many people's success or lack thereof.
  • Not all criticism or skepticism from others is rooted in their own lack of commitment; sometimes, it can be constructive feedback or genuine concern.
  • The assertion that there are "no shortcuts" to success may not account for cases where networking, timing, or access to resources can accelerate progress.
  • For some, the emotional toll of repeated failure and public ...

Actionables

  • you can keep a cringe log where you briefly jot down moments when your work feels embarrassing or awkward, then revisit it monthly to notice patterns and track how your tolerance for discomfort grows over time; this helps normalize early-stage awkwardness and makes progress visible.
  • a practical way to build resilience against social judgment is to set a weekly challenge where you intentionally share a rough draft or unfinished idea with a trusted friend or online group, focusing on the act of sharing rather than the quality of the work, so you get used to feedback and reduce fear of criticism.
  • you can ...

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