In this episode of NPR's Book of the Day, Scott Detrow interviews Charles Spencer about his memoir and his perspective on his sister, Princess Diana. Spencer shares his belief that Diana struggled with undiagnosed ADHD, which profoundly affected her self-image despite her public success and global recognition. He describes how early negative feedback from teachers left lasting damage to her self-worth that persisted throughout her life.
Beyond Diana's public persona, Spencer recalls her defining qualities: her emotional intelligence, compassion, wit, and genuine laughter. The conversation also covers Spencer's funeral eulogy, where he pledged to honor Diana's modern approach to parenting William and Harry, and addresses a troubling phone call with then Prince Charles shortly after Diana's death. Spencer discusses the complexities of the royal family dynamics and reflects on what Diana would have wanted for her sons.

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In an interview with NPR's Scott Detrow, Charles Spencer discusses his belief that Princess Diana struggled with undiagnosed ADHD, which profoundly shaped her self-image and relationships.
Spencer explains that Diana's school reports consistently mentioned her distraction and tendency to interrupt others—behaviors he recognizes as typical ADHD responses. She was quick to take offense and often recoiled from perceived emotional hurt, which shaped how she navigated relationships and public scrutiny. Spencer himself received an ADHD diagnosis later in life and saw striking similarities in Diana's behavior, though her condition went unrecognized during her lifetime.
Despite her global fame, Diana suffered lasting psychological harm from undiagnosed learning differences. Spencer emphasizes that years of negative feedback from teachers damaged her self-worth deeply. When asked if Diana ever felt as smart and accomplished as the world believed her to be, Spencer answers that he doesn't think she ever did—the early damage to her self-esteem stayed with her despite her later achievements.
Diana's legacy extends far beyond her public role, shaped by deep emotional intelligence and compassion. Her empathy guided her parenting of William and Harry, raising them with warmth rather than royal formality. Diana's ability to connect on a deeply human level set her apart, making her relationships personal and genuine.
Diana wielded wit and a keen sense for the absurd to build intimate bonds with others, turning life's peculiarities into shared moments of laughter through her playful and insightful observations.
For Spencer, Diana's humor was one of her defining qualities. He recalls that in the first two decades after her passing, whenever something absurd occurred, his immediate reaction was to want to tell Diana—illustrating how tightly her comedic personality was woven into daily life.
Spencer remembers Diana's ability to truly laugh, describing her as having the best sense of humor. Her laughter wasn't about singular events but was a constant, vital presence that left a lasting impact on those who loved her.
Detrow highlights Spencer's revelation that shortly after Diana's death, then Prince Charles allegedly said people would "forget her soon enough." Spencer describes a phone call where Prince Charles "hissed" this dismissive remark, challenging the widespread narrative of collective grief. Spencer explains that he included this exchange in his memoir because it connects directly to his funeral eulogy, where his insistence that Diana would "never be extinguished from our minds" was a direct response to Charles's private comment.
Spencer acknowledges that Prince Charles has a volatile temper but is careful not to claim Charles wasn't deeply upset by Diana's death. He simply recounts the words he heard, framing the situation as one where multiple, even contradictory, emotions may coexist. Spencer recognizes that public grief doesn't preclude the possibility of private, less sympathetic perspectives.
At Diana's funeral, Spencer delivered a eulogy that resonated deeply with the public, especially in his promise to protect her sons from being overwhelmed by royal duty and tradition.
Spencer reflected on how Diana modernized royal parenting by introducing her sons to ordinary experiences—public transport, waiting in line at amusement parks, eating burgers. In his eulogy, Spencer pledged that Diana's blood family would continue her imaginative and loving approach, ensuring the princes' souls wouldn't be "simply immersed by duty and tradition, but can sing openly."
Spencer reaffirmed his support for Diana's parenting, noting she brought something unusual, soft, and generous into the princes' lives, helping them connect with the modern world. Regarding the current estrangement between William and Harry, Spencer stated he couldn't assess whether Diana's presence would have prevented it, acknowledging the complexities of family disputes. However, he was clear that Diana would have strongly opposed her sons' separation, saying, "What I can say as Diana's brother is that she would really not have wanted her boys to be separate. That's very obvious. No mother would."
1-Page Summary
Spencer discusses with NPR’s Scott Detrow his belief that Princess Diana struggled with undiagnosed ADHD and how this shaped her self-image and relationships throughout her life.
Charles Spencer explains that Diana’s school reports consistently mentioned her distraction in class and her tendency to interrupt others’ sentences. While this wasn’t branded as terrible behavior, it portrays someone struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. Spencer notes Diana was quick to take offense and often recoiled from perceived emotional hurt, behaviors he recognizes as typical ADHD responses. This emotional sensitivity shaped how Diana navigated both close relationships and the intense scrutiny she faced. Spencer himself received an ADHD diagnosis later in life and saw striking similarities in his sister’s behavior, strengthening his conviction that Diana also lived with this condition, even though it went unrecognized during her lifetime.
Despite her global fame and the appearance of success and privilege, Diana suffered lasting psychological harm rooted in undiagnosed learning differences. Spencer emphasizes that years of negative feedback from teachers—who often placed her at the bottom of h ...
Princess Diana's Undiagnosed ADHD and Its Impact on Her Self-Perception Struggles
Princess Diana’s legacy extends far beyond her public role, shaped by a deep sense of emotional intelligence and compassion. Her empathy notably eclipsed that of her brother, Charles, and guided her parenting of William and Harry, whom she raised with warmth rather than royal formality. Diana’s ability to connect on a deeply human level set her apart from the usual expectations of her position, making her relationships personal and genuine.
Diana wielded wit and a keen sense for the absurd to build unforgettable, intimate bonds with others. She had a knack for turning life’s peculiarities into shared moments of laughter, bringing people closer through her playful and insightful observations.
For Charles Spencer, Diana’s humor was one of her defining and most cherished qualities. He recalls that in the first two decades after her passing, whenever something absurd or ridiculous occurred, his immediate reaction was to want to tell Diana. Th ...
Diana: Humor, Empathy, and Qualities Beyond Public Image
Scott Detrow highlights the enduring presence of Princess Diana in public memory and the significance of Charles Spencer’s revelation in his memoir: that shortly after Diana’s death, then Prince Charles allegedly said, “...will forget her soon enough.” Spencer describes a phone call where Prince Charles, as Spencer writes, “hissed” the dismissive remark, “rest assured, will forget her soon enough.” This call has attracted particular attention because it challenges the widespread narrative of collective and personal grief following Diana’s death.
Spencer clarifies that he cannot comment on Prince Charles’s emotions during the trip to Paris to bring Diana’s body home, as he was not present—his two sisters handled that journey. Instead, he insists he can only report what he experienced directly, in this case, what he heard in that phone call. Spencer explains that this is why he chose to include this exchange in his memoir: it connects directly to the eulogy he delivered at Diana’s funeral. Specifically, Spencer’s insistence in the eulogy that Diana would “never be extinguished from our minds” was a direct response to Charles’s private comment that she would soon be forgotten.
This juxtaposition between Spencer’s promise in the eulogy and Charles’s private sentiment exposes a complicated picture, suggesting that public expressions of permanent loss may not always match private attitudes within the royal family.
Spencer acknowledges that Prince Charles ...
Contrast Between Public Perception and Private Reality of Diana's Death and Charles's Alleged Dismissive Comments
At Princess Diana's funeral, her brother Charles Spencer delivered a eulogy that resonated deeply with the public, especially in his promise to protect her sons, William and Harry, from being overwhelmed by royal duty and tradition.
Charles Spencer reflected on how Diana modernized royal parenting by introducing her sons to ordinary experiences that were previously denied to royal children. Diana allowed William and Harry to take public transport, wait in line for their turn at amusement parks, and enjoy simple pleasures like eating burgers. These seemingly basic experiences marked a significant departure from the tradition-bound upbringing of earlier generations of royal princes and princesses.
In his eulogy, Spencer made a passionate vow on behalf of Diana’s family: "On behalf of your mother and sisters, I pledge that we, your blood family, will do all we can to continue the imaginative and loving way in which you are steering these two exceptional young men, so that their souls are not simply immersed by duty and tradition, but can sing openly as you plan." He explained that this promise was a personal commitment and reflected the family’s intent to uphold Diana’s progressive approach to raising her sons, recognizing that while royal duty and tradition would inevitably influence them, it was essential to nurture their souls and connection to the modern world.
Spencer reaffirmed his support for Diana’s parenting, noting that she brought something unusual, soft, and generous into the lives of the princes. He emphasized that Diana’s efforts helped William and Harry connect with the modern world, a connection that previous generations had often missed.
Regarding the current estrangement between William and Harry, Spencer stated that he could not definitively assess whether Diana’s continued presence would have prevented it. He acknowledged the complexities and private grievan ...
Spencer's Eulogy and Promise to Honor Diana's Wishes For William and Harry
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