In new memoirs, David Archuleta and Lindy West break with their pasts

Archuleta's American Idol Fame as Shy Teen

In the early 2000s, David Archuleta was thrust into stardom on American Idol, appearing weekly in the living rooms of millions and ultimately finishing second in the competition. As he began a successful music career, Archuleta—shy, homeschooled, and accustomed to blending in—was suddenly launched into the public eye. He describes his previous strategy for survival as hiding, not speaking up, and being known as the "smiley kid who never talked in school." The sudden visibility was both exciting and terrifying; he recalls trying to let his voice speak for him while wishing not to be seen beyond that. Indira Lakshmanan highlights how, despite looking and sounding poised in performances like “Apologize,” Archuleta’s memoir reveals a profound internal struggle. The public saw him as a teenage pop star adored by girls, but beneath the surface, he wrestled with his true identity. Lakshmanan also notes that there was significant pressure on him, and he did not come out as gay until much later—by which point he had already gathered a substantial LGBTQ+ following.

Archuleta's Struggle Reconciling Sexuality With Mormon Upbringing

Archuleta was raised in the Mormon Church, where same-sex relationships are forbidden. In his memoir, he shares that he first experienced feelings for a boy as early as second grade and later came out as being on the spectrum of bisexuality, though he is mostly attracted to men. Archuleta was surprised to learn that many people within his own Mormon congregation grappled with similar struggles over their sexuality and the inability to express their true selves.

As a well-known figure after American Idol, Archuleta became close to church ...

Archuleta's Decision to Leave the Mormon Church

David Archuleta made the significant decision to leave the Mormon Church and shared this with his mother. In a compassionate response, his mother revealed that she too had chosen to step away from the church, telling him, "I don't want to be somewhere where my children don't feel loved and welcomed. And if you're going to hell, then we're all going to hell with you." This sentiment reflects her commitment to family unity and unconditional love. Most of Archuleta’s siblings also left the church, deepening the family's collective journey and inspiring his 2024 song "Hell Together."

Archuleta's Mother Supports Family's Choice to Leave Church

Archuleta’s mother’s decision to leave the church alongside her children offered powerful support and solidarity. Her words and actions assured her family that their sense of belonging and their authenticity were more important than religious conformity. This experience directly inspired Archuleta’s song "Hell Together," which resonates with the message of facing adversity as a united family rather than sacrificing each other's well-being for acceptance elsewhere.

Archuleta's Journey to Self-Acceptance and Embracing His Identity

Archuleta describes the profound release and sense of liberation that came from finally expressing all of himself through songwriting. After years of believing something was wrong with him and suppressing his true self, Archuleta found it freeing to embrace his identity and stop despising who he was. He compares this process to having a second chance at life and underscores the continued journey of self-acceptance, moving away from self-rejection toward self-understanding and self-love.

Archuleta's Songwriting As Self-Expression and Story-Sharing

Writing songs like "Hell Together" and working on a memoir allowed Archuleta to be vulnerable and share his story authentically. Lakshmanan notes that the so ...

Lindy West’s memoir Adult Braces explores her journey of self-discovery and acceptance during a tumultuous period in her life, marked by a midlife crisis and a major shift in her marriage.

Lindy West's Midlife Crisis and Solo Road Trip

After wrapping production on the second season of Shrill, West learns that her husband has been dating someone else. Although their relationship had always allowed for non-monogamy under a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy, this new development forces West to face her insecurities and longstanding self-image struggles. Battling depression, feeling her marriage is on the brink, and questioning her sense of self, West decides something in her life must change. With her husband’s encouragement, she embarks on a solo road trip across the country to Florida—a personal retreat intended for reflection and reassessment.

West's Process Of Prioritizing and Letting Go

Confronted with her resistance to non-monogamy, West initially finds the situation overwhelming. However, as she lets go of the need for hyper-control and chooses to trust in her husband’s love, she discovers new possibilities for happiness within the relationship. She realizes that embracing non-monogamy is not about just rationalizing or forcing herself into a situation she doesn’t want, but instead, about acknowledging and overcoming jealousy, fear, and self-doubt. The process helps her see that prioritizing her own life and happiness is essential—not just for herself, but for her marriage as well.

Five years later, West’s relationship has evolved further. She, her husband, and a third partner now live together as a “thruple,” sharing a peaceful, loving life in a log cabin in Washington. West acknowledges that people may misinterpret her choice, but she asserts that her life is beautiful and full of love, not the result of being “mistr ...