In this episode of NPR's Book of the Day, author Patricia Lockwood discusses her experience with long Covid and its impact on her cognitive function. She shares how she documented her four-year struggle with severe disorientation and confusion, including her creative approach to describing these challenging symptoms in her writing, such as deliberately misspelling "brain fog" as "Brian Fogg" to reflect posts she found on Reddit.
The conversation explores how Lockwood found inspiration in other authors who faced similar cognitive challenges, particularly Susanna Clarke. Lockwood also draws parallels between her invisible cognitive symptoms and her husband's visible physical health struggles, reflecting on how both experiences affected their sense of self and recovery process. Throughout the discussion, she maintains her characteristic balance of serious subject matter and humor to capture these experiences authentically.
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Patricia Lockwood describes her intense battle with Covid-19, which began in March 2020 and led to severe cognitive symptoms that persisted for four years. During this time, she experienced profound disorientation and confusion, even hallucinating at times. In response to these challenges, Lockwood began documenting her experiences in the summer of 2020 to better understand her condition.
In her work, Lockwood tackled the challenging task of describing the often-indescribable experience of cognitive impairment from long Covid. She employed creative techniques, such as intentionally misspelling "brain fog" as "Brian Fogg," inspired by genuine posts she observed on Reddit. While addressing these serious subjects, Lockwood maintained her characteristic balance of gravity and humor, believing this approach better captured the authentic nature of difficult experiences.
Lockwood found particular inspiration in author Susanna Clarke's story. During an awards ceremony, a meaningful interaction with Clarke, who had overcome her own cognitive challenges to write again, gave Lockwood renewed hope. This connection helped alleviate her sense of isolation and boosted her confidence in her ability to continue writing despite her struggles.
Lockwood draws an interesting parallel between her invisible cognitive struggles with Long Covid and her husband's visible physical challenges following a near-death experience. She notes that caring for her husband's wound provided her with a sense of purpose during her own recovery. Through this experience, Lockwood reflects on the process of reassembling one's sense of self after significant health events that impact both body and mind.
1-Page Summary
Patricia Lockwood details her prolonged battle with cognitive symptoms following a Covid-19 infection in March 2020.
Patricia Lockwood became extremely ill with Covid-19 in March of 2020, which thrust her into a prolonged state of disorientation, dissociation, and confusion. Her symptoms were severe and at times surreal, as she recounts seeing imaginary gorillas in the trees.
The disruptive symptoms experienced by Lockwood, including her state of confusion, did not dissipate quickly. In fact, they continued to affect her for approximately four years, indicating a long-term struggle with the aftereffects of the virus.
Lockwood's Experience With Long Covid and "Brain Fog"
Patricia Lockwood adopts a unique literary strategy to describe the elusive experiences of confusion and disorientation, particularly in the context of long Covid.
Patricia Lockwood chose to explore the subject of confusion in writing, an experience she felt was not adequately represented in literature. She considered this undertaking a mission statement for her book, aiming to document what many might consider indescribable. Lockwood was especially drawn to the challenge involved in observing and putting into words states that are generally thought to be difficult or impossible to articulate.
In an effort to authentically depict the cognitive impairment associated with long Covid, Lockwood intentionally misspelled "brain fog" as "Brian Fogg" in her writing. This stylistic choice was inspired by her observations on Reddit, where people were describing their symptoms, often with unintentional misspellings. Lockwood felt that these real-time accounts were a window into the experience of a new illness, and she incorporated this into her wr ...
Lockwood's Approach To Writing About Confusion and Disorientation
Patricia Lockwood has found hope and consolation in the experiences of other authors who have navigated similar cognitive challenges.
Patricia Lockwood considered Susanna Clarke a hero, someone whose cognitive struggles and subsequent triumph she keenly related to. At an awards ceremony, Lockwood hoped Clarke would win just so she herself could avoid giving a speech. Clarke's victory brought a moment of physical and metaphorical support—when she grasped Lockwood's elbow for steadiness. That meaningful interaction reassured Lockwood that if Clarke could reclaim her ability to write post-illness, then she, too, could pen another book despite her struggles.
Lockwood's Connection to Authors With Similar Cognitive Struggles
The intricacies of mental and physical health are profoundly intertwined, as author Patricia Lockwood vividly illustrates through her personal experiences.
Lockwood juxtaposes her own invisible struggles with Long Covid against the tangible, visible challenges her husband faced after a near-death experience. The contrast between their conditions highlights how physical and mental health issues differ in perception and understanding. While her husband's physical ailments were clearly acknowledged, Lockwood's cognitive battles with the long-term effects of Covid-19 remained largely unseen and struggled for recognition.
In caring for her husband, Lockwood found a sense of purpose that counteracted her feelings of uselessness brought on by her own health struggles. The act of tending to his wound became a therapeutic endeavor, not just for her husband's physical recovery, but also for Lockwood's mental wellbeing. This caregiving role anchors her, providing a clear and concrete way to contribute and mitigate the intangible aspects of her Long Covid experience.
The Relationship Between Mental and Physical Health Experiences
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