Podcasts > NPR's Book of the Day > For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

By NPR (podcasts@npr.org)

In this episode of NPR's Book of the Day, author Patricia Lockwood discusses her experience with long Covid and its impact on her cognitive function. She shares how she documented her four-year struggle with severe disorientation and confusion, including her creative approach to describing these challenging symptoms in her writing, such as deliberately misspelling "brain fog" as "Brian Fogg" to reflect posts she found on Reddit.

The conversation explores how Lockwood found inspiration in other authors who faced similar cognitive challenges, particularly Susanna Clarke. Lockwood also draws parallels between her invisible cognitive symptoms and her husband's visible physical health struggles, reflecting on how both experiences affected their sense of self and recovery process. Throughout the discussion, she maintains her characteristic balance of serious subject matter and humor to capture these experiences authentically.

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For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

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For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

1-Page Summary

Lockwood's Experience With Long Covid and "Brain Fog"

Patricia Lockwood describes her intense battle with Covid-19, which began in March 2020 and led to severe cognitive symptoms that persisted for four years. During this time, she experienced profound disorientation and confusion, even hallucinating at times. In response to these challenges, Lockwood began documenting her experiences in the summer of 2020 to better understand her condition.

Lockwood's Approach To Writing About Confusion and Disorientation

In her work, Lockwood tackled the challenging task of describing the often-indescribable experience of cognitive impairment from long Covid. She employed creative techniques, such as intentionally misspelling "brain fog" as "Brian Fogg," inspired by genuine posts she observed on Reddit. While addressing these serious subjects, Lockwood maintained her characteristic balance of gravity and humor, believing this approach better captured the authentic nature of difficult experiences.

Lockwood's Connection to Authors With Similar Cognitive Struggles

Lockwood found particular inspiration in author Susanna Clarke's story. During an awards ceremony, a meaningful interaction with Clarke, who had overcome her own cognitive challenges to write again, gave Lockwood renewed hope. This connection helped alleviate her sense of isolation and boosted her confidence in her ability to continue writing despite her struggles.

The Relationship Between Mental and Physical Health Experiences

Lockwood draws an interesting parallel between her invisible cognitive struggles with Long Covid and her husband's visible physical challenges following a near-death experience. She notes that caring for her husband's wound provided her with a sense of purpose during her own recovery. Through this experience, Lockwood reflects on the process of reassembling one's sense of self after significant health events that impact both body and mind.

1-Page Summary

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Actionables

  • Start a personal journal using creative language to express your health journey, like inventing playful terms for symptoms, which can make the process more engaging and less daunting.
    • Writing about your experiences with a twist of creativity can help you process emotions and track your progress. For example, if you're dealing with fatigue, you might refer to it as "energy hibernation" to add a light-hearted perspective to a challenging situation.
  • Engage in a small act of caregiving to feel a sense of purpose and connection, such as volunteering to walk a neighbor's dog or helping a friend with errands.
    • Caring for others can provide a sense of accomplishment and community. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture; even watering plants for a neighbor who's away can give you a feeling of contribution and routine.
  • Reflect on your identity and values through a creative project, like crafting a vision board or writing a personal manifesto, especially after life-altering events.
    • This can be a powerful way to visualize and affirm who you are and what you stand for, which can be grounding during times of change. For instance, you might create a collage of images and words that represent your aspirations and core beliefs, serving as a daily reminder of your personal journey and resilience.

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For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

Lockwood's Experience With Long Covid and "Brain Fog"

Patricia Lockwood details her prolonged battle with cognitive symptoms following a Covid-19 infection in March 2020.

Lockwood Fell Ill With Covid-19 In March 2020 and Experienced Prolonged Disorientation, Dissociation, and Confusion

Patricia Lockwood became extremely ill with Covid-19 in March of 2020, which thrust her into a prolonged state of disorientation, dissociation, and confusion. Her symptoms were severe and at times surreal, as she recounts seeing imaginary gorillas in the trees.

Lockwood's Covid-19 Symptoms Persisted For Four Years

The disruptive symptoms experienced by Lockwood, including her state of confusion, did not dissipate quickly. In fact, they continued to affect her for approximately four years, indicating a long-term struggle with the aftereffects of the virus.

Lockwood's Response Was to Document H ...

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Lockwood's Experience With Long Covid and "Brain Fog"

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a personal health journal to track any unusual symptoms you experience, noting their frequency, duration, and intensity. This can help you identify patterns or triggers and provide valuable information to healthcare providers. For example, if you start feeling disoriented or confused, write down what you were doing, eating, or any stressors that might have contributed to these feelings.
  • Develop a cognitive recovery plan that includes brain exercises, such as puzzles or memory games, to help manage and potentially improve any cognitive symptoms you might encounter. Incorporate these activities into your daily routine, gradually increasing their difficulty ...

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For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

Lockwood's Approach To Writing About Confusion and Disorientation

Patricia Lockwood adopts a unique literary strategy to describe the elusive experiences of confusion and disorientation, particularly in the context of long Covid.

Lockwood Depicted Long Covid's Confusion and Dissociation in Her Novel, Capturing an Experience She Felt Was Under-Documented

Patricia Lockwood chose to explore the subject of confusion in writing, an experience she felt was not adequately represented in literature. She considered this undertaking a mission statement for her book, aiming to document what many might consider indescribable. Lockwood was especially drawn to the challenge involved in observing and putting into words states that are generally thought to be difficult or impossible to articulate.

Lockwood Embodied Cognitive Impairment By Misspelling "Brain Fog" as "Brian Fog" for Stylistic Effect

In an effort to authentically depict the cognitive impairment associated with long Covid, Lockwood intentionally misspelled "brain fog" as "Brian Fogg" in her writing. This stylistic choice was inspired by her observations on Reddit, where people were describing their symptoms, often with unintentional misspellings. Lockwood felt that these real-time accounts were a window into the experience of a new illness, and she incorporated this into her wr ...

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Lockwood's Approach To Writing About Confusion and Disorientation

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Lockwood's approach to embodying cognitive impairment through misspelling may be innovative, it could also be confusing or distracting for some readers, potentially undermining the clarity of the narrative.
  • The use of humor in serious contexts is a delicate balance and may not always be appropriate or effective; some readers might find that it detracts from the gravity of the subject matter, such as the experiences of those with long Covid.
  • The strategy of documenting the indescribable through literature, while noble, may not fully capture the breadth and depth of the confusion and disorientation experienced by individuals, as personal experiences can be highly subjective and variable.
  • The misspelling of "brain fog" as "Brian Fog" might be seen as trivializing cognitive impairment to those who suffer from it, despite the intention to provide an authentic depiction.
  • Some critics might argue that while Lockwood's literary strategy is unique, it may not necessarily be the most effective or respectful way to represent the experiences of ...

Actionables

  • You can experiment with creative writing by intentionally using malapropisms or misspellings to express complex emotions or states of mind. For example, if you're trying to convey a sense of disorientation, you might write about walking in a "daze" as walking in a "days." This can help you explore new ways of expressing feelings that are hard to articulate.
  • Try balancing humor with serious content in your daily conversations or social media posts. When discussing a heavy topic, introduce a light-hearted comment or a pun to ease the tension without undermining the seriousness of the subject. This approach can improve your communication skills and help you connect with others on difficult issues.
  • Create ...

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For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

Lockwood's Connection to Authors With Similar Cognitive Struggles

Patricia Lockwood has found hope and consolation in the experiences of other authors who have navigated similar cognitive challenges.

Lockwood Found Hope in Susanna Clarke's Experience With Cognitive Impairment While Writing Piranesi

Lockwood's Engagement With Susanna Clarke at an Awards Ceremony Rekindled Her Confidence to Write Again Despite Her Struggles

Patricia Lockwood considered Susanna Clarke a hero, someone whose cognitive struggles and subsequent triumph she keenly related to. At an awards ceremony, Lockwood hoped Clarke would win just so she herself could avoid giving a speech. Clarke's victory brought a moment of physical and metaphorical support—when she grasped Lockwood's elbow for steadiness. That meaningful interaction reassured Lockwood that if Clarke could reclaim her ability to write post-illness, then she, too, could pen another book despite her struggles.

Lockwood's Recognition of Literary Parallels Eased Her Solitude In Battling Long Covid's Co ...

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Lockwood's Connection to Authors With Similar Cognitive Struggles

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can find solace and inspiration by creating a "Resilience Journal" where you document stories of individuals who have overcome similar challenges to yours. Start by jotting down any accounts you come across in books, articles, or social media that resonate with your situation. This can serve as a reminder that you're not alone and that triumph is possible, even in the face of adversity.
  • Connect with others who share your experiences by joining or forming a support group focused on your specific challenge. Use platforms like Meetup or Facebook to find or create a group where members can share their journeys, exchange coping strategies, and celebrate each other's successes. This sense of community can provide emotional support and practical advice.
  • Reinforce your belief in your ...

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For her latest novel, Patricia Lockwood says she wanted to write about confusion

The Relationship Between Mental and Physical Health Experiences

The intricacies of mental and physical health are profoundly intertwined, as author Patricia Lockwood vividly illustrates through her personal experiences.

Lockwood Contrasted Her Husband's Visible Issues After a Near-Death Event With Her Invisible Cognitive Struggles With Long Covid

Lockwood juxtaposes her own invisible struggles with Long Covid against the tangible, visible challenges her husband faced after a near-death experience. The contrast between their conditions highlights how physical and mental health issues differ in perception and understanding. While her husband's physical ailments were clearly acknowledged, Lockwood's cognitive battles with the long-term effects of Covid-19 remained largely unseen and struggled for recognition.

Caring For Husband's Wound Gave Lockwood Purpose and Relieved Her Uselessness

In caring for her husband, Lockwood found a sense of purpose that counteracted her feelings of uselessness brought on by her own health struggles. The act of tending to his wound became a therapeutic endeavor, not just for her husband's physical recovery, but also for Lockwood's mental wellbeing. This caregiving role anchors her, providing a clear and concrete way to contribute and mitigate the intangible aspects of her Long Covid experience.

Lockwood's Reflections on "Assembly" and Searching For He ...

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The Relationship Between Mental and Physical Health Experiences

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a visual diary to track both your physical and mental health, using colors and symbols to represent different aspects of your well-being. This can help you visualize the invisible struggles you're facing, much like Lockwood's experience with Long Covid. For example, use blue for days you feel mentally strained and red for physical challenges, adding notes or drawings to elaborate on your condition.
  • Volunteer to help others with tasks they can't manage due to health issues, which can provide a sense of purpose similar to Lockwood's experience caring for her husband. This could be through a local community center or an online platform that connects volunteers with people in need. By assisting with grocery shopping, yard work, or digital troubleshooting, you contribute to your mental well-being while supporting others.
  • Start a personal project that involves piecing together somet ...

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