Laura Clery on the Cost of Infidelity, Addiction, Divorce— and Rebuilding

Laura's Financial Unawareness Kept Her In an Abusive Marriage Despite Warnings

Laura Clery describes how her lack of financial oversight contributed to her remaining in an abusive and dysfunctional marriage with Steven. Even as she achieved viral success and significant income from brand deals, merchandise, and monetization, Laura never checked the details of their finances, allowing Steven to manage all aspects of their money. Despite earning more, she handed over responsibility to Steven and a business manager, never closely monitoring where her money was going. This lack of involvement meant she didn't know the extent of Steven's drug purchases or his financial infidelity, even when outsiders warned her there were warning signs. Laura says she simply believed Steven was eccentric and trusted his claims about using money for new business ventures, such as sound healing and music.

Steven’s behavior became increasingly erratic and abusive, but Laura continued to support him financially out of obligation—because Steven had contributed to her career and was the father of her children. She rationalized funding him, even as her finances suffered. Eventually, this denial and outsourcing of financial responsibility led to neglect—her household’s water was shut off due to unpaid bills, and she was saddled with two mortgages for both her and Steven’s properties. Laura recounts having at least $30,000 in monthly expenses, sometimes rising to $40,000 when covering Steven’s household, yet she remained unaware of where her money was going until these acute financial crises occurred.

Financial Control: Imbalance Perpetuates Relationship Dysfunction and Prevents Escape

Steven's assumption of financial management, despite Laura's higher income from her creative work, cemented an unhealthy dependence. Laura’s financial passivity made her vulnerable to Steven’s manipulation; her success became another means for him to justify taking over finances. By letting Steven and later a business manager supervise the money, Laura abdicated her agency and shielded herself from uncomfortable truths, rationalizing her continued support of Steven even as red flags mounted. This financial setup became a crutch, enabling Laura to continue ignoring the dysfunction and delaying deci ...

Laura Clery’s story reveals how financial complacency during a turbulent period can lead to devastating consequences, from depleted savings and basic utilities being shut off to unknowingly enabling destructive behavior.

Supporting an Ex During Separation Without Legal Protections: A Financial Drain

After separating from her husband Steven, Laura continued to financially support both their households. Their bookkeeper and business manager kept paying all the bills—both mortgages—from a joint account, and when those funds dwindled, Laura covered the payments herself. This continued support happened at a time when Laura’s income was reduced, as she was producing content less frequently due to trauma and emotional upheaval.

Digging into her savings to cover mounting expenses, Laura quickly found her financial cushion eroding. The emotional toll of the separation, coupled with the high costs she continued to shoulder, rapidly depleted her resources, causing a personal crisis. This crisis became startlingly concrete when Laura’s water was shut off in her $3 million home. She recounted how she discovered the water outage while bathing children—her own and a friend’s—suddenly left soapy and stranded. This moment forced her to confront the dire state of her finances and the need for a major change.

Despite growing up without wealth, Laura had always found security in feeling loved and safe. She acknowledged that while money helps, it’s not an antidote to deeper emotional struggles. Still, she felt the pain of financial insecurity acutely, comparing her situation to many others who live paycheck to paycheck and describing the anxiety of not knowing how the next month’s bills would be paid. To meet immediate financial needs, she took on brand deals she wasn’t passionate about, including promoting a water flosser—simply to pay her mortgages.

The Financial Trap of Mediation Over Legal Representation

Laura initially chose mediation over hiring lawyers, believing it would be less expensive and more peaceful. She hired a mediator for $5,000, which seemed at the time like a bargain. At first, mediation sessions with Steven were amicable and productive, but his subsequent withdrawal—skipping meetings, failing to turn in paperwork—stretched the process from a few months to nearly two years. This unresolved limbo forced Laura to continue depleting her savings to maintain stability for herself and her children.

Eventually, the mediator fired them due to lack of progress, and Laura faced the stark reality of legal costs: she could not afford the $40,000 lawyer retainer because her savings were exhausted from nearly two years of drawn-out proceedings. The delay not only intensified her emotional trauma and kept her from rebuilding financially, but it also left her without legal protections she needed early in the process. Laura now regrets not filing for a restraining order and securing a lawyer immediately, recognizing that her desire to maintain peace—and believing her ex when he promised to get help—ultimately worked against her interests.

Costs of Unawarely Enabling Destruc ...

Laura Clery's financial recovery after a toxic relationship demonstrates the importance of rebuilding, building trusted systems, and claiming independence.

The Importance of Trusted Financial Teams and Oversight

After her divorce, Laura rebuilt her finances by assembling a team of five people, including a bookkeeper, producer, director, negotiator, and money manager. This support system helped her produce, assist, edit, direct, negotiate, and manage her money, providing structure and accountability. Laura now meets monthly with her bookkeeper to review everything she has earned and paid out, confronting her finances directly instead of being afraid to look. Regularly talking through the details with her bookkeeper ensures transparency and empowers her to make informed decisions about her career and life. This structured oversight gives Laura the freedom to remain creative while always knowing her financial position, which helps her plan and maintain stability.

The Shift From Helplessness to Competence and Self-Sufficiency

Upon separating, Laura faced challenges in daily tasks she once relied on her partner to handle, such as turning on the hot tub or running her business. Initially, these tasks seemed overwhelming, but rebuilding her life made Laura realize that she was entirely capable of managing everything herself. This process of mastering new responsibilities was both exciting and liberating. Laura describes the financial crisis as empowering, pushing her to learn and grow. She now finds emotional and psychological liberation in financial independence and proclaims her current freedom and enjoyment of single life. She has discovered she never wants to cohabit with a man again unless he brings significant financial contribution, underlining how much she values her self-su ...

Women's Need for Independent Financial Accounts and Knowledge

Laura Clery and Nicole Lapin assert that women should always have their own separate bank accounts. Both advocate for women to be fully aware of their financial situations—not just how much they have, but also what their ongoing monthly expenses are and what money is coming in and out. Laura reflects on her own experience of not paying close attention to her finances, even when she was earning $200,000 a month. Despite what seemed like a secure situation, Clery admits she didn't really look at her financial details, telling herself she knew enough “directionally” because she managed her own brand deals, but she ultimately deferred to her partner for managing the money.

Clery underscores that many women, like herself, may fall into the narrative of thinking, "I'm not good with money," or, "It's not my strength," which can create serious vulnerability, as it did for her. Not taking an active role or claiming to not care about money—statements such as “I'm not doing it for the money”—allowed financial abuse or mismanagement to go undetected in her life.

Breaking Stigma and Demystifying Financial Engagement For Women

Nicole Lapin and Laura Clery discuss how jargon around money, finance, and investing has long been a gatekeeping tool of traditionally male-dominated institutions, reinforcing the idea that women need men to manage money. This belief discourages women from financial engagement and fosters dependency, especially in toxic or controlling relationships. Clery affirms this, noting that many women think they need a man to control the finances.

Lapin emphasizes that, for women, insight, education, and reliable advice are more important than wealth when it comes to taking charge of finances. Laura’s own journey shows that even with significant income, a lack of direct engagement led to problems. She now works with a bookkeeper, conducting monthly meetings about exactly what she earns and pays out, and she makes a conscious effort not to avoid or deny the reality of her finances. Clery reiterates that progress is not about perfection and that there is always more to learn about money.

Importantly, Lapin encourages women to shift the narrative from "I'm bad wi ...

Abundance Thinking: Linking Belief to Action and Opportunity

Laura Clery attributes her financial success to daily affirmations and visualization practices. She describes focusing on best-case scenarios, consistently writing gratitude lists, and visualizing her desired achievements, including specific monetary goals. Each morning, before she actually earned it, Clery would say, "I am so happy and grateful I earned six figures a month every single month." Within months, she began to earn exactly that—six figures a month—and believes she manifested her entire life through such practices.

Clery recounts her mindset as a struggling actress: she affirmed only needing enough money to pay rent and eat, which resulted in her always making just enough for survival. Later, she shifted her affirmations to wanting to help her family and afford things for herself. This shift from scarcity to abundance led her to recognize and seize opportunities she believes were always available but previously unnoticed. Laura emphasizes that once she began affirming abundance, her "vibration was just up here," allowing her to perceive more abundant opportunities, whereas affirming scarcity kept her confined to minimal financial goals.

Identity's Role in Financial Outcomes and Choices

Nicole Lapin advises Laura to take on the identity of "an investor" for greater ownership and to influence her financial decisions. Nicole asserts the power of embracing and declaring, "I'm an investor." Laura eagerly adopts the affirmation, repeating it with enthusiasm. She further reflects on how her previous self-concept as a "money-averse artist" prevented her from managing her finances. By shifting her narrative from "I'm bad at money" to "I'm learning about money," Laura demonstrates renewed openness to financial literacy. Both Clery and Lapin underscore that women’s pervasive money narratives can restrict them, highlighting th ...