What It's Like To Stay Together For the Kids— and the Mortgage Rate
In this episode of Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin, guest Morgan Dickson shares how she and her ex-husband maintain an unconventional living arrangement after their divorce. Motivated by their favorable mortgage rate and their children's well-being, the couple continues to share their family home while maintaining separate properties, coordinating their schedules through an app and preserving family traditions.
The episode explores the practical aspects of their arrangement, including how they handle shared expenses, establish boundaries, and manage potential tensions. Morgan also discusses her transition from a healthcare career to stay-at-home motherhood, and how the divorce prompted her to take control of her finances after years of delegating financial responsibilities to her husband.
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1-Page Summary
The Decision to Continue Living Together After Divorce
Morgan Dickson shares her unique post-divorce living arrangement with her ex-husband Ryan, where they maintain separate properties while sharing their family home to prioritize their children's well-being.
Co-living Arrangement Maintains Stability For Children
Morgan explains that she and Ryan chose to live close to one another, allowing their children to see both parents daily. This arrangement preserves the children's normal routine, with the only significant change being that their parents no longer sleep together. The couple even maintains family traditions, celebrating birthdays and holidays together to ensure family bonds remain strong.
Logistics and Challenges of Shared Living
To manage their shared living situation, Morgan and Ryan use an Apple app to coordinate their schedules, alternating three to four nights each week in the family home. They've established clear rules, including no romantic guests for a year and weekly family dinners. Morgan emphasizes that open communication is crucial, especially when tensions arise, and they address challenges by giving each other space when needed.
The Financial Considerations and Implications of the Divorce
The decision to maintain their living arrangement was significantly influenced by their favorable 2% mortgage rate. According to The Wall Street Journal, this "lock-in effect" discourages homeowners from selling when current market rates are higher. Morgan and Ryan divided their assets clearly, with Morgan taking the Orlando house and Ryan the Daytona house. They split expenses, including utilities, childcare, and schooling, with Morgan advising the use of Excel sheets to track all costs.
Morgan's Experiences Before and After Divorce
Morgan transitioned from a successful healthcare career to becoming a stay-at-home mom, finding fulfillment in community involvement and initiatives like starting a surf group for parents. The divorce prompted her to take control of her finances, marking a shift from when she had previously entrusted all financial responsibilities to her husband while caring for their children.
1-Page Summary
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Clarifications
- A post-divorce co-living arrangement involves divorced individuals, often with children, choosing to live together in the same household while maintaining separate living spaces. This arrangement aims to prioritize the well-being of the children by providing stability and allowing both parents to be actively involved in their daily lives. It involves clear communication, established rules, and shared responsibilities to navigate the challenges of living together after divorce. Financial considerations, logistics, and emotional boundaries are crucial aspects that need to be carefully managed in such arrangements.
- The "lock-in effect" of a 2% mortgage rate means that homeowners are less inclined to sell their property when they have secured a low-interest mortgage, as it provides them with a financial advantage compared to current market rates. This favorable rate incentivizes homeowners to maintain their existing mortgage rather than selling and potentially facing higher interest rates on a new loan. It can lead to homeowners staying in their current homes for longer periods, contributing to stability in the housing market.
- Morgan and Ryan divided their assets by Morgan taking the Orlando house, and Ryan taking the Daytona house. They also split expenses such as utilities, childcare, and schooling. This division was influenced by their favorable 2% mortgage rate, which played a role in their decision to maintain their living arrangement post-divorce. They tracked all costs using Excel sheets to ensure transparency and fairness in their financial arrangements.
- Tracking expenses using Excel sheets involves creating a digital spreadsheet to record and categorize all financial transactions. This method helps individuals monitor their spending, budget effectively, and analyze their financial habits over time. Excel's features allow for customization, such as creating formulas for automatic calculations and generating visual representations like charts. It provides a structured way to stay organized and make informed decisions based on a clear overview of one's financial situation.
Counterarguments
- While the co-living arrangement seems beneficial for the children's stability, it may not be sustainable long-term as parents' new relationships or life changes could complicate the dynamic.
- Celebrating birthdays and holidays together is positive for family bonds, but it could also potentially confuse the children about the finality of the divorce.
- Using an app to coordinate schedules is efficient, but it may not account for spontaneous life events or the emotional nuances of co-parenting post-divorce.
- The financial benefits of maintaining the living arrangement due to the low mortgage rate are clear, but this could also tie both parties to a financial agreement that might limit individual economic freedom or opportunities.
- Dividing assets and splitting expenses can be managed well with tools like Excel, but this system requires a high level of cooperation and trust, which might not be present in all divorced couples.
- Morgan's shift to taking control of her finances post-divorce is empowering, but it also suggests a potential vulnerability or lack of preparedness for single financial management during the marriage.
- The arrangement described may not be feasible for all divorced couples due to varying emotional, financial, or logistical circumstances.
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The Decision to Continue Living Together After Divorce
Morgan Dickson opens up about the unconventional yet thoughtful post-divorce living situation between her and her ex-husband Ryan, detailing how it's designed with their children’s well-being in mind.
Co-living Arrangement Maintains Stability For Children
Amicable Agreement: Each Gets Ownership of a Property Next to the Family Home
Morgan clarifies that she and her ex-husband Ryan both own separate properties, but their co-living arrangement remains temporary. Despite the divorce, they have made a unique choice to live close to one another to preserve their children’s sense of stability and normalcy.
Shared Family Home Minimizes Divorce Impact on Children
Morgan explains that the core reason behind their continuing co-living situation is their children's benefit. The setup allows both parents to be readily accessible, enabling the kids to see both mom and dad every day. She emphasizes the prioritization of their children’s emotional well-being over financial gains, indicating a deep commitment to minimizing the divorce's impact on the kids' lives.
Morgan reflects on the importance of maintaining a normal routine, noting that for the children, the shared family home represents stability and familiarity. Living in the same house often due to shared amenities such as the kitchen and laundry makes the sepa ...
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The Decision to Continue Living Together After Divorce
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While the co-living arrangement may maintain stability, it could potentially create confusion for the children regarding the finality of the divorce.
- The proximity of the separate properties to the family home might make it harder for Morgan and Ryan to establish independent lives and move on to new relationships.
- The temporary nature of the arrangement is vague, which could lead to uncertainty for the children when the situation eventually changes.
- Prioritizing the children's emotional well-being is important, but the parents' emotional health is also crucial and could be strained in such an arrangement.
- The effort to maintain normalcy might inadvertently downplay the significance of the divorce, failing to prepare the children for future changes in family dynamics.
- Shared family moments are beneficial, but they may also give the children false hope for reconciliation or hinder the acceptance of the new family structure.
- The arrangement could set unrealistic expectations for the children about relationships and how to handle conflict and sepa ...
Actionables
- Create a shared digital calendar with your ex-partner to coordinate your children's activities and maintain their routine. By using a platform like Google Calendar, you can both add and view events, ensuring that both parents are involved in the children's lives and that special occasions are planned jointly. This helps keep the children's schedule consistent and allows for seamless co-parenting.
- Develop a "family newsletter" that you and your ex-partner send to your children monthly. This can include updates from each household, upcoming events, and shared memories or photos. It's a way to reinforce the family bond and keep the children informed and connected to both parents, even if they're not physically together all the time.
- Start a tradition of joint ...
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Logistics and Challenges of Shared Living
Morgan describes the complex coordination required in a shared living situation after a divorce, involving an application, rules to ensure family unity, and a strong commitment to communication.
Morgan and Ex-husband Use App to Coordinate Family Home Schedule
Rules: No Romantic Guests for a Year; Maintain Family Dinners For Unity
Morgan and her ex-husband use an Apple app to schedule who gets to spend which nights with the kids in the shared family home. They alternate between three and four nights each week. To preserve a sense of normalcy and unity for their children, they have agreed upon a set of rules. One of these rules prohibits the introduction of romantic guests into the shared home for at least a year. Additionally, they are committed to having a family dinner together once a week. Morgan finds this arrangement valuable for their children's well-being. Furthermore, they attempt to engage in joint activities, such as bike rides, if they're not gathering for the family dinner.
Commitment to Communication Amid Challenges
Morgan discusses the essential role of communication and planning in making such an arrangemen ...
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Logistics and Challenges of Shared Living
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Counterarguments
- While using an app for scheduling can be efficient, it may not always capture the nuances of family dynamics and spontaneous needs that arise, potentially leading to over-reliance on technology for communication.
- Alternating between three and four nights each week could lead to a lack of consistency for the children, which might be confusing or destabilizing.
- The rule of no romantic guests for a year is a clear boundary but may not take into account the personal growth or emotional readiness of either parent to move on and form new relationships.
- Mandatory weekly family dinners are intended to maintain unity, but they could also create forced interactions that may be uncomfortable or inauthentic, especially if there are unresolved tensions between the parents.
- Joint activities like bike rides are beneficial, but they may not always be feasible due to scheduling conflicts, weather, or other unforeseen circumstances, which could lead to disappointment or a sense of failure to meet the agreed-upon terms.
- A commitment to communication is essential, but the text does not address how the parents handle communication breakdowns or if they have a system for resolving conflicts when they cannot re ...
Actionables
- Create a shared digital calendar with custom reminders for family commitments to ensure everyone stays on track without relying on a specific app. For example, use a free online calendar like Google Calendar to set up recurring events for family dinners and activities, and set reminders a day ahead. This keeps everyone informed and accountable for family time without needing to check in constantly.
- Establish a 'family agreement' document that outlines household expectations and rules, similar to a lease agreement, to maintain harmony and clear boundaries. Use a simple word processor to draft a document where each family member can contribute to the rules, such as quiet hours or shared responsibilities. Review and update this document together every six months to adapt to any changes in the family dynamic.
- Initiate a monthly 'family counc ...
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The Financial Considerations and Implications of the Divorce
Morgan Dixon faced a multitude of financial considerations and implications when going through her divorce. She and her ex-husband, Ryan, crafted a well-thought-out plan that led to their unconventional decision to live together post-separation.
Low Mortgage Rate Key to Decision to Live Together
Morgan and her ex-husband decided to maintain their cohabitation primarily due to their desirable 2% mortgage rate, a rate much lower than the current market offerings. The Wall Street Journal mentions the "lock-in effect," where homeowners are discouraged from selling their properties because of higher prevailing mortgage rates compared to what they currently possess. This lock-in effect, coupled with the financial responsibility of maintaining property values that have surged nearly 75% since purchase, influenced Morgan and Ryan's decision to retain their homes in the face of soaring neighborhood prices and interest rates. It was agreed upon that everything they own will pass on to their children after their passing, which includes taxes, utilities, debts, and expenses tied to their properties.
Divided Assets, Debts, and Expenses, Each Responsible for Obligations Like Taxes and Utilities
To ensure financial clarity post-divorce, Morgan advises using Excel sheets to keep track of all essential expenses such as insurance, mortgage, childcare, and utilities. She and Ryan have divided their expenses, with Morgan paying property taxes on her lot, a set amount towards utilities to Ryan each month, and sharing the cost of their children's schooling and groceries. Their personal vehicles are both paid off. They each received ownership of property—with Morgan taking the Orlando house and Ryan the Daytona house—as part of a straightforward settlement facilitated by a mediator and signed off by a judge. Each contributed half of the $4,000 cost for the divorce process.
Rigid Homeowner's Associations and Rental Challenges Highlight Financial Benefits of Shared Living
Homeowners' Associations posed significant obstacles in Morgan's search for separate accommodation, including complex application processes, background check ...
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The Financial Considerations and Implications of the Divorce
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- The "lock-in effect" in the context of mortgage rates occurs when homeowners are deterred from selling their properties due to having a lower mortgage rate than what is currently available in the market. This situation arises because selling would mean losing the advantageous rate they currently enjoy, which could result in higher monthly payments if they were to buy a new property with a higher interest rate.
- After their divorce, Morgan and Ryan divided their assets, with Morgan taking the Orlando house and Ryan taking the Daytona house. They each took responsibility for specific expenses like property taxes, utilities, and their children's schooling and groceries. They maintained separate ownership of their personal vehicles, which were fully paid off. The division of assets and expenses was part of a straightforward settlement facilitated by a mediator and approved by a judge.
- Homeowners' Associations (HOAs) are organizations that set and enforce rules for properties within a certain community. When seeking separate accommodation, individuals may face challenges from HOAs due to strict regulations, application processes, background checks, fees, and limitations on property usage. These obstacles can make it difficult for individuals to find suitable housing options that meet their needs and preferences. HOAs can sometimes reject potential residents based on various criteria, including family size, financial stability, or other factors outlined ...
Counterarguments
- While maintaining a low mortgage rate is financially beneficial, it may not always outweigh the potential emotional and psychological costs of living with an ex-partner post-divorce.
- The "lock-in effect" can be a double-edged sword; it may prevent financial loss in the short term but can also limit flexibility and opportunities to relocate or downsize.
- Passing on everything to children is a noble idea, but it assumes that the value of the assets will remain stable or grow over time, which is not guaranteed.
- Dividing assets and expenses can be clear-cut on paper, but in practice, it may lead to disagreements or complications, especially if circumstances change for either party.
- The decision to live together post-divorce due to challenges with Homeowners' Associations and rental costs assumes that these are insurmountable obstacles, which may not be the case for everyone.
- Emotional attachment to a shared house can sometimes cloud judgment and lead to decisions that might not be in one's best financial interest in the long term.
- The inertia caused by low interest rates might prevent individuals from making proactive decisions ...
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Morgan's Experiences Before and After Divorce
Heading: Morgan, Successful in Healthcare, Became a Stay-At-home Mom, Initially Fulfilled, Later Unfulfilled
Morgan Found Fulfillment in Work and Community Involvement
Morgan recounts her vibrant career in a hospital in Orlando where she was actively involved in transforming delivery models and working with various stakeholders to create more effective systems. She describes these experiences in healthcare as exciting and energizing. She felt a deep passion for her projects and took pride in her role in driving effective change. Despite her career success, Morgan chose to become a stay-at-home mom. In an attempt to find fulfillment outside of her role as a mother, Morgan engaged in community activities, starting initiatives like a surf group for parents.
Divorce Led Morgan to Proactively Manage Her Finances, Creating Budgets and Plans for Future Stability
Following her divorce, Morgan recognized the necessity of meticulous financial management, marking a significant transition from the period where she entrusted all fina ...
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Morgan's Experiences Before and After Divorce
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Actionables
- You can explore a new hobby that aligns with your interests to find personal fulfillment. For example, if you've always been curious about painting, sign up for a beginner's art class or set aside time each week to learn and practice at home. This can be a refreshing way to express yourself and gain a sense of achievement outside of your professional identity.
- Consider setting up a simple spreadsheet to track your expenses and savings goals. Use free online templates to get started and make it a habit to review and update your financial status weekly. This hands-on approach can help you gain clarity on your financial health and empower you to make informed decisions about your future.
- Engage with online commu ...
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