In this episode of Modern Wisdom, Dr. Debra Lieberman discusses how the human brain develops mechanisms to prevent incestuous relationships. She explains how early-life experiences like breastfeeding and co-residence help people identify and develop natural aversions to close relatives, while also noting how modern practices like adoption and sperm donation can affect these built-in detection systems.
The episode explores gender differences in incest aversion, with women showing stronger automatic disgust responses than men, potentially due to different reproductive costs. Lieberman also examines the evolutionary psychology of crying and tears, describing how this behavior serves as a complex signaling mechanism that changes as people mature from childhood to adulthood.

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Debra Lieberman explains how the human brain has evolved sophisticated systems to prevent incestuous relationships. These systems rely on childhood experiences like breastfeeding, co-residence, and witnessing caregiving behaviors to identify close relatives. When these cues are present during childhood, they typically trigger a natural sexual aversion toward those identified as relatives.
However, modern practices like adoption and sperm donation can disrupt these natural kin detection mechanisms. Lieberman notes that adopted siblings or donor-conceived individuals who meet their genetic half-siblings might experience attraction due to missing these early-life kinship cues, as merely knowing someone is a relative doesn't automatically create sexual aversion.
Research reveals significant gender differences in incest aversion. According to Lieberman, women consistently display strong, automatic disgust responses to incest-related concepts, likely due to the high reproductive costs associated with pregnancy and childrearing.
Men's responses, however, are more variable. Lieberman's research suggests that men's incest aversion can be influenced by physical attractiveness, with some men indicating they might consider relationships with distant relatives like cousins. This flexibility in men's responses may stem from their lower reproductive costs compared to women.
Lieberman describes crying as a complex signaling mechanism that communicates vulnerability or high-value states. Tears can serve multiple purposes: they can signal the need for support, communicate the importance of relationships or events, and help regulate emotional states.
As individuals develop from childhood to adulthood, their crying patterns change. Lieberman explains that while children might cry from physical pain or unmet needs, adults typically cry in response to more complex emotional triggers, reflecting a maturation in emotional expression and regulation.
1-Page Summary
The human brain has evolved sophisticated systems for kin detection to prevent incestuous relationships, leveraging cues from childhood experiences. The discussion, led by Debra Lieberman, explores the intricacies of these mechanisms.
Debra Lieberman explains that a set of kinship cues present during childhood, such as breastfeeding, co-residence, and observing who invests care in whom, help individuals avoid mating with close genetic relatives. These cues are used by the brain to compute an estimate of kinship, triggering a sexual aversion toward those identified as relatives. The concept of the Westermarck effect is central, whereby co-residence duration is a key cue for the development of incest aversion.
Children raised together throughout childhood typically develop a sexual aversion to one another as adults. Lieberman’s research suggests that without typical kinship cues like witnessing a mother's pregnancy or breastfeeding, the incest avoidance mechanism might not be triggered, making marriages between individuals who lack these early-life cues more acceptable in certain cultural contexts.
In the case of adoption, the adopted siblings may develop an attraction to one another if they miss the kinship cues necessary for triggering incest avoidance. Lieberman’s mention of the natural experiment in Taiwanese cultural practices where adopted children were often breastfed by the adopted mother shows a disruption in kin dete ...
Kin Detection and Incest Avoidance Mechanisms
Research into human behavior continues to reveal complex patterns, particularly in areas of sexual behavior and taboo subjects such as incest.
In studies focusing on the responses to incest, it has been found that women uniformly demonstrate strong aversion to incestuous acts, with little variation among individuals. Women consistently express high levels of disgust when presented with concepts of engaging in sexual behaviors with a sibling.
Debra Lieberman delves into evolutionary factors that may contribute to this strong aversion among females. She discusses the high reproductive costs associated with gestation and lactation, which underscore the importance of careful mate selection. Making a poor choice could result in significant penalties, which is hypothesized to drive the evolution of incest avoidance in women.
Conversely, men have shown a broader range of responses to incest, with some finding it less objectionable. This variability was illustrated when one male participant smiled in response to the idea of tongue-kissing a sibling, a reaction that deviated from the expected disgust.
Sex Differences in Incest Aversion
Crying is utilized by individuals low in leverage to communicate to others the intensity of a particular state or cost. It's a tool used by those with less power to persuade others to stop imposing costs or to resume delivering benefits. Debra Lieberman highlights how tears can communicate the value placed on certain events or relationships. When individuals feel out-leveraged or not valued, especially in group situations, tears highlight a state of vulnerability or tension. This can also signal the importance or deep emotional significance of a relationship or event, as seen when people are moved to tears by life-saving actions like donating a kidney.
Crying shows others the need state of an individual, especially in contexts like grief, indicating the person is upset and in need of support—an automatic response that would attract help and resources from a community. Lieberman mentions that tears can communicate a desire to stop others from imposing costs on the individual or to elicit more benefits. This behavior might have originated from an adaptation to harmful environmental stimuli, such as acids from an onion, which demonstrated something negative affecting an individual and signaled vulnerability.
Lieberman also notes that tears may communicate significant cost or loss of a relationship, which could be termed as a data dump. It might be a response to the realization of the lost value that someone cared about had for you. Chris Williamson's question about why we cry when alone is addressed by Lieberman, who suggests that individuals often simulate scenarios in their minds, emotionally reacting to events that reveal the value of relationships or events—even in solitude.
Crying signals an individual's need to adjust what is being demanded of them, particularly when these demands threaten their interests within a relationship. Crying in reaction to anger, like that observed in women who feel undervalued and unable to assert themselves physicall ...
The Evolutionary Psychology of Crying and Tears
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