541: Skills, Struggle, and Responsibility. With Jimmy May.
In this episode of the Jocko Podcast, Jocko Willink and Jimmy May explore approaches to parenting that build competence and responsibility in children through hands-on challenges, skill transfer, and deliberate struggle. They discuss how involving children in real work, allowing them to fail in controlled environments, and teaching practical skills creates confident, capable adults. The conversation also covers May's work with Beyond the Brotherhood, an organization that supports high-risk veterans transitioning to civilian life through rigorous screening, mentorship, and career placement—all while maintaining a zero-suicide rate among participants.
The episode addresses broader themes of skill acquisition and mentorship, challenging the misconception that abilities are innate rather than learned. Willink and May examine the difficulties veterans face when leaving military service, including identity loss and the struggle to translate military experience into civilian careers. They also discuss May's business ventures in experiential corporate training and safety technology innovation, emphasizing how progressive stress exposure and hands-on learning build lasting resilience and competence.
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1-Page Summary
Parenting & Family Leadership: Raising Responsible, Confident Children and Passing Down Skills
Jocko Willink, Jimmy May, and Echo Charles share experiences and methods for raising capable, respectful children through hands-on involvement, deliberate challenges, and skill transfer.
Building Competence Through Responsibility
Involving children in hands-on projects develops both practical skills and personal investment. Willink references his "warrior kid books," where a child rebuilds an old bike instead of buying new. May similarly helped his son acquire a neighbor's old bike, replace parts, contribute money, and refinish it together—instilling appreciation and pride. May also taught his son about value by having him sell the bike and negotiate for fair payment.
Assigning paid, real work is another key theme. May pays his son for maintenance tasks like cleaning weapons, teaching compensation principles and accountability. Willink emphasizes that treating children as adults with age-appropriate responsibilities teaches value, self-worth, and consequence.
Letting children set their own rules also cultivates buy-in. When May's son resisted bedtime, May asked him to choose his own time and consequences. Willink explains this aligns with "psychological reactance"—people resist imposed rules but embrace rules they help create.
Empowering Through Struggle and Failure
Sheltering children too much undermines self-reliance. Willink discusses how repeated failure leads to learned helplessness—when parents constantly rescue children, they internalize incompetence and stop attempting challenges.
Both May and Willink recount letting their sons make mistakes—getting lost or stuck—and resisting the urge to step in. Instead, they coached from the sidelines, allowing frustration and problem-solving to build true confidence. Low-stakes "failures" in training provide unforgettable lessons without major consequences, becoming lifelong assets for competence.
Teaching Respect and Discernment
May ensures his son respectfully addresses elders and follows polite protocols. However, Willink tempers respect with critical evaluation, stressing children must learn not every authority deserves blanket trust. He draws from military life—treating all ranks with respect but weighing the validity of their guidance. This dual approach protects kids from blindly following harmful authority while retaining social grace.
Passing Down Practical Skills
Willink notes that sharing learned skills with children—building, communication, or language—costs nothing but time and creates lifelong competence. May highlights teachable skills like guitar, drawing, and land navigation, proposing structured father-son camps where dads learn first and transfer knowledge to sons under supervision.
Children taught skills directly from parents have reliable mentors and a foundation for independence. Willink describes jiu-jitsu as an area where basic competence makes further learning more rewarding.
Balancing Preparation With Age-Appropriate Challenges
Children need to be prepared before encountering challenges. Willink advises instilling "excess capability" before it's needed, similar to carrying snow chains before hitting a blizzard. May relates bringing his son on snowy trips fully equipped, setting expectations for future readiness.
Practical preparation includes teaching e-bike safety before children ride with peers. May describes riding with his son, teaching proper signaling and rules. With e-bikes' increasing popularity and speed, teaching discipline beforehand primes youth for wise decision-making. Willink and Charles also encourage physical training beginning in youth, noting ages 14–24 offer prime windows for developing lasting strength and capability.
Beyond Brotherhood: Tackling Veteran Suicide Via Screening, Mentorship, and Employment
Founding Purpose and Response to Crisis
Beyond the Brotherhood (BTB) was founded by Jimmy May after four SEAL teammates died by suicide within four months of his retirement. This tragedy led May to create BTB, supporting high-character veterans at risk through rigorous screening, personal mentorship, and guided employment pathways.
May criticizes how popular culture profits from the SEAL ethos while veterans themselves face hardship and isolation. BTB aims to help elite veterans successfully transition to civilian life, giving them the chance to thrive beyond military service.
Rigorous Screening Process
BTB's process begins with multi-level character screening: they request references from one superior, one peer, and three subordinates. Consistency across these perspectives is critical. May emphasizes that not all who serve are ideal candidates for every civilian role—the organization seeks those whose character holds up under scrutiny from all ranks.
This character-driven screening results in high-quality candidates, creating a powerful alumni network. Employers who hire BTB graduates often request more, validating the effectiveness of the process.
Support System For Health, Skills, and Career Placement
Once accepted, veterans receive comprehensive personality assessments to explore career possibilities aligned with their strengths. BTB addresses lingering service effects—many veterans arrive dependent on medications for pain, sleep, and alertness. The organization guides participants safely off unnecessary drugs and restores their health.
BTB also helps with VA claims and assists in securing Combat-Related Special Compensation (CRSC), which supplements disability and retirement payments. This support is vital, as military retirement alone is often insufficient.
Customized Career Development and Mentorship
BTB matches participants with mentors from the business world who help veterans learn norms of business communication. Career placements begin tentatively, with BTB anticipating two or three attempts before finding a lasting match.
BTB supports real estate careers by arranging mentors and licensing, helps entrepreneurs with startup funding, and connects veterans with search funds that enable company acquisition with significant equity stakes.
Proven Success Metrics
BTB has placed more than 60 high-risk veterans in new careers—all without a single suicide among participants. These are often the most deployed, trauma-exposed SEALs who statistics would predict to suffer most post-service. Intake doubles each year, growing staff proportionally, proving both the need and effectiveness of BTB's approach.
Organizational Evolution
Early in BTB's formation, differences with the board led to mass resignations when May remained focused on screening SEALs of character. When Executive Director Sean Murphy accepted another job, May supported his decision and ensured a smooth transition. Murphy's successor, Drew Forsberg, brought analytical, data-driven leadership that balanced May's visionary style, accelerating BTB's growth.
Fundraising Through Experiential Events
BTB sustains its work through unique fundraising events. Apex Assaulter places donors in SEAL-style scenarios—shooting ranges, vehicle maneuvers, and tactical exercises—while fostering networking and leadership discussion. Triple S features activities like Humvee driving and night vision shooting.
An upcoming NYC SEAL Swim will see 300 swimmers—including 50 SEALs and first responders—circumnavigate the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, with each swimmer committing to raise $2,000, aiming for $1 million. BTB actively seeks corporate sponsors for event-specific needs, allowing all funds raised by participants to support veterans directly.
Transitioning From Military To Civilian: Identity Loss, Skill Translation, and Mental Health Struggles
Transitioning out of military service presents unique challenges that go far beyond typical career shifts.
Multiple Dimensions of Loss
According to Willink, military service acts as the foundation of identity, community, structure, and purpose. When these pillars are removed at once during transition, veterans experience what researchers call transition stress. This simultaneous loss of identity, community, structure, and purpose creates a unique type of anxiety unlike incremental changes in civilian careers.
Practical Barriers to Employment
Veterans often struggle to translate military skills into civilian resume language. Many employers lack familiarity with military terms, making it difficult for veterans to communicate their experience's relevance. Additionally, differences between military and civilian workplace norms pose hurdles, and many veterans lack professional networks or industry-specific knowledge their civilian peers have built through conventional career advancement.
Mental Health and Substance Dependency
The emotional toll of adjusting is compounded by practical stressors and loss of familiar support systems. For special operations veterans, dependency on prescription medications can develop as a means of managing symptoms related to service intensity and trauma. Despite available resources, many veterans underutilize mental health services due to stigma or distrust of civilian professionals.
Reframing Transition as Mission Change
The move from military to civilian life can be seen not as an ending but as a new mission with different objectives. Veterans bring discipline, leadership, ability to perform under pressure, and mission commitment—qualities valuable in business, entrepreneurship, and community leadership. By redefining transition as a shift in mission, veterans are better positioned to recognize their strengths and build new identities and purposes in civilian life.
Business Ventures: Mayday Executive's Training Events and Cable Pilot Tech
Mayday Executive redefines corporate team-building and safety technology through immersive training events and innovations in worker protection.
Experiential Model For Team Building
Mayday Executive specializes in custom high-stress training activities for executive and corporate groups, including vehicle maneuvers, shooting ranges, spear fishing, and survival training. The aim is to foster confidence and strong relationships by learning new skills under challenging circumstances. Profound learning occurs when participants achieve feats they once considered impossible, translating newfound capabilities to professional settings.
A signature experience involves spear fishing in the open ocean, where participants face significant physical stress hunting fast-moving animals at depth. One executive recounted shooting a 130-pound bluefin tuna at forty miles per hour—a harrowing accomplishment that boosted his professional confidence. Corporate groups also undergo tactical vehicle training, forging deep bonds through shared vulnerability and achievement.
Flexible, Customized Service Delivery
Mayday Executive's business model is built on flexibility. Founder Jimmy May welcomes new client requests and rapidly assembles required expertise by reaching out to a network of former military professionals. May explains, "I haven't had to say no yet," reflecting his commitment to solving logistical challenges. This adaptable approach consistently delivers memorable training events that drive client satisfaction and growth.
Cable Pilot Technology Innovation
May's brother has invented a device for use at cell tower splice points that significantly simplifies and speeds up cable installation. The "cable pilot" reduces installation time by about 25%, decreasing time workers spend at dangerous heights of three to four hundred feet and directly reducing injury risk.
Patent approval was secured in November, and industry interest is growing. The cable pilot innovation exemplifies the May family's commitment to practical solutions that prioritize both performance and well-being in high-stakes environments.
Skills Growth & Mentorship: Learning, Teaching, and Overcoming Learned Helplessness
Jocko Willink and Jimmy May delve into skill acquisition, mentorship, and resilience, highlighting misconceptions about innate ability and emphasizing learning through effort.
Skills Are Learnable, Not Innate
Willink explains that many wrongly believe competence is innate rather than the result of practice. He shares how his daughter thought she was "stupid" because she couldn't instantly do her times tables, not realizing studying leads to mastery. Many assume they should know how to fight or shoot without practice, but initial struggle is universal. Willink emphasizes that almost everyone sits in the middle of the bell curve—for most, skill comes from exposure and persistence.
May echoes this, describing his own struggle learning to shoot a pistol and how consistent work helped him become proficient. Both note adults often avoid new challenges after early failures, not realizing struggle is natural.
Required Minimum Competence to Access Enjoyment
Willink describes how activities like surfing, jiu-jitsu, and shooting remain unenjoyable until you reach a baseline skill threshold. Many quit before reaching this threshold, missing out on discovering their capacity. Willink suggests mentors should encourage kids to endure initial setbacks so they have the chance to discover satisfaction and mastery.
Spaced Preparation Creates Confidence
The hosts stress developing skills in low-stakes, controlled environments. Willink taught his kids to drive by pushing limits in empty parking lots, making normal driving seem easy. May provides examples from firearm and vehicle training, noting hands-on exposure helps manage panic and build procedural memory. Constant, spaced repetition cements skills and inoculates children against accidents and fear.
Generational Knowledge Transfer
Passing skills down shapes both competence and family identity. May points out the importance of preparing children to meet challenges, building family legacies and relationships. Willink stresses teaching others how to pass on skills, creating layers of empowerment. When parents teach by example, they transfer belief, values, and resilience.
Stress Inoculation Through Progressive Difficulty
Both emphasize training in high-stress scenarios as essential. By repeatedly facing low-stakes, stressful events—like rough water swims or controlled combat situations—people learn to manage panic and act effectively under pressure. Willink notes that once someone has survived high-intensity practice, real-world challenges seem manageable. This inoculation recalibrates stress responses, building true resilience applicable in any setting.
Physical Attributes Versus Learnable Skills
The conversation recognizes that while some physical abilities are age-dependent, most decision-making and core competencies can be learned at any age. Charles notes physical performance peaks around age 25, but different strengths peak at different times. May observes that in military training, younger candidates recover more quickly, but learning capacity isn't strictly age-limited. Recognizing which goals are limited by age and which are entirely skill-based is critical to realistic goal setting and lifelong learning.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Involving children in hands-on projects may not be feasible for all families due to time, resources, or parental skill limitations.
- Assigning paid, real work to children can risk commodifying family relationships or create entitlement if not balanced with intrinsic motivation.
- Treating children as adults with responsibilities may place undue pressure on some children, especially those with developmental or emotional challenges.
- Allowing children to set their own rules may not be effective for all personalities or ages; some children require more structure and guidance.
- Exposure to struggle and failure, if not carefully monitored, can lead to discouragement or anxiety rather than resilience.
- Teaching children to critically evaluate authority may inadvertently foster distrust or disrespect if not balanced with context and guidance.
- Structured father-son skill camps may exclude or alienate daughters or children from non-traditional family structures.
- Emphasizing physical training during youth may not account for children with disabilities or those uninterested in athletics.
- Rigorous character screening for veterans may unintentionally exclude those who need support most, such as those with disciplinary records due to trauma.
- Focusing on high-character veterans could reinforce stigma against those struggling with mental health or behavioral issues.
- Experiential fundraising events simulating military scenarios may not appeal to all donors and could risk glamorizing combat.
- Reframing transition as a mission change may not resonate with all veterans, especially those who wish to move beyond a military identity.
- Emphasizing skill acquisition through practice may overlook the impact of learning disabilities or neurodiversity on skill development.
- Stress inoculation through high-stress training may not be appropriate for individuals with trauma histories or certain mental health conditions.
- The focus on passing down skills within families may disadvantage children whose parents lack certain skills or time for mentorship.
- Not all adults avoid new challenges due to misunderstanding the learning process; some may have legitimate constraints such as time, resources, or mental health barriers.
- The cable pilot device, while improving efficiency and safety, may not address broader systemic issues in worker safety or labor practices.
Actionables
- you can create a rotating family challenge calendar where each week, a different family member (including children) proposes a household rule, chore, or mini-project, and everyone follows it for the week, then discusses what worked and what didn’t—this builds buy-in, accountability, and practical skills while letting kids experience leadership and consequence in a low-stakes way.
- a practical way to help children and teens build resilience and confidence is to set up a “failure wall” at home where everyone (adults included) anonymously posts recent mistakes or struggles, then, as a family, brainstorms what was learned and how to try again—this normalizes setbacks and encourages problem-solving together.
- you can start a personal skills logbook for your family, where each person tracks new skills learned, who taught them, and how they practiced; periodically, swap roles so children teach adults something they’ve mastered (even if small), reinforcing mentorship, respect, and the value of passing down knowledge.
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Parenting & Family Leadership: Raising Responsible, Confident Children and Passing Down Skills
Jocko Willink, Jimmy May, and Echo Charles share firsthand experiences and methods in raising capable, respectful, and confident children. Their insights range from teaching practical responsibility to fostering discernment, empowering kids through mistakes, and passing down family skills as a lasting legacy.
Building Children's Competence Through Hands-On Involvement and Responsibility
Involving children in hands-on projects develops both practical abilities and personal investment. Jocko Willink references his "warrior kid books," using the story of a child wanting a new bike. Instead of simply buying one, the child’s Uncle Jake suggests acquiring and rebuilding an old bike. Jimmy May draws from similar real-life experience, helping his son get an old bike from a neighbor, replace the axle, contribute his own money, and refinish it together. The child’s work instills appreciation and pride in the finished result.
Jocko extends this lesson to leadership, emphasizing the importance of letting people build and plan themselves, as it boosts ownership and valuation. This principle also applies to undertaking and maintaining projects.
Jimmy May recounts teaching his son about the value of completed work by having him sell the rebuilt bike, negotiate at the sale, and “hold out” for the price he believed the work was worth. This approach develops confidence in negotiating, understanding value, and conducting business.
Assigning paid, real work is another key theme. May pays his son for maintenance tasks like cleaning weapons and preparing equipment, instilling in him the principles of compensation, earning money, and consequence for incomplete work. Willink points out that treating children as adults and giving them age-appropriate responsibilities teaches the critical lessons of value, self-worth, and accountability.
Letting children set their own rules also cultivates buy-in. When May’s son resisted being told when to go to bed, May flipped the conversation: “What time do you think is right?” The child chose his own bedtime, agreed to the consequences for not keeping it, and owned the process. Willink explains this aligns with “psychological reactance”—the human tendency to resist imposed rules, but embrace rules they help create.
Empowering Children Through Experiencing Struggle and Failure
Sheltering children too much from difficulty undermines self-reliance. Jocko Willink discusses an experiment where groups confronted unsolvable problems; repeated failure led them to give up even when faced later with solvable ones, exhibiting learned helplessness. He emphasizes that when parents constantly rescue children, they internalize a belief of incompetence and stop attempting challenges on their own.
Deliberately allowing children to face failure and struggle is critical. May and Willink recount letting their sons make mistakes—whether getting lost after an operation or getting a vehicle stuck—and resisting the urge to step in. Instead, they coached from the sidelines, allowing the frustration and subsequent problem-solving to build true confidence. May’s son, after working through a stuck four-wheeler scenario, later told his friend they needed to figure things out themselves, demonstrating new resilience.
Both agree that low-stakes “failures” in training or everyday life provide unforgettable lessons without major consequences. Those lessons, learned young, become lifelong assets for competence and self-assurance.
Teaching Respect and Discernment About Authority Figures
Foundational to leadership at home is teaching respect and discernment. May ensures his son respectively addresses elders and follows polite protocols, reflecting Southern upbringing. He shares that teachers noticed his son’s respectful behavior and willingness to own mistakes.
Willink, however, tempers respect with critical evaluation, stressing children must learn not every authority deserves blanket trust. He draws from military life—treating people of all ranks with respect, but weighing the validity of their guidance. Parents, he asserts, must model evaluating leadership: listen and respect but remain vigilant for ulterior motives or incompetence. This dual approach—respect with healthy skepticism—protects kids from blindly following harmful authority while retaining social and professional grace.
Passing Down Practical Skills As Family Legacy
Passing on practical, technical, or creative skills is a lasting legacy for children. Willink notes that sharing learned skills with children—be it building, fighting, communication, or language—costs nothing but time and creates lifelong competence. May highlights the breadth of teachable skills: guitar, drawing, language, and more, emphasizing these are gifts children can carry indefinitely.
May proposes structured skill sharing, such as father-son camps teaching la ...
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Parenting & Family Leadership: Raising Responsible, Confident Children and Passing Down Skills
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Counterarguments
- Not all children respond positively to hands-on or practical projects; some may feel frustrated or uninterested, and alternative learning styles may be more effective for them.
- Assigning paid work or tying compensation to household tasks can undermine intrinsic motivation and may lead children to expect payment for all contributions to family life.
- Allowing children to set their own rules may not be developmentally appropriate for all ages or personalities, and some children may struggle with self-regulation without clear boundaries.
- Excessive focus on independence and self-reliance can overlook the importance of community, collaboration, and interdependence, which are also valuable life skills.
- Emphasizing resilience through struggle and failure may be counterproductive for children with certain mental health challenges or trauma histories, who may require more support and protection.
- Teaching children to critically evaluate authority can sometimes foster cynicism or disrespect if not balanced carefully, potentially undermining necessary trust in teachers or caregivers.
- Structured skill-sharing activities like camps may not be accessible to all families due to financial, time, or logistical constraints, potent ...
Actionables
- you can create a rotating “family fix-it night” where everyone, including children, draws a random household item or minor problem from a jar and works together to repair or improve it, letting each child lead their own project and present their solution at the end
- This builds practical skills, ownership, and confidence, while making problem-solving a regular, low-pressure family activity. For example, a child might lead the effort to fix a squeaky door or organize a cluttered drawer, with everyone supporting their plan.
- a practical way to foster negotiation and value understanding is to set up a monthly “swap meet” at home where children bring items they no longer use and negotiate trades or sales with siblings or parents, keeping any earnings or bartered items
- This gives children real experience in valuing their work and possessions, practicing negotiation, and understanding compensation in a safe, familiar environment. ...
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Beyond Brotherhood: Tackling Veteran Suicide Via Screening, Mentorship, Employment, and Support
Founding Purpose and Response to Veteran Crisis
Beyond the Brotherhood (BTB) was founded by Jimmy May after four of his SEAL teammates died by suicide within four months of his retirement—two of whom he knew well. This series of tragedies left May at a loss, leading him and a friend to painstakingly review conversations for missing signs. The alarm of another SEAL suicide outside BTB further underscored that an urgent, strategic intervention was needed for at-risk veterans.
Profiting From Military and Seal Ethos, At-risk Veterans Struggle Silently
May criticizes a system where popular culture and media profit from the SEAL ethos while the veterans themselves, who built that legacy, face hardship and isolation. He highlights that the individuals who endured the most and are depicted as heroes are too often those who struggle in silence and are most at risk of suicide.
Mission: Support High-Character Veterans At Risk Through Screening, Mentorship, and Employment Pathways
BTB was created to support high-character veterans who might be at risk of suicide by providing rigorous screening, personal mentorship, and guided employment pathways. The goal is to help elite veterans successfully transition to civilian life, giving them the chance to thrive beyond the military.
Rigorous Screening Process to Identify Candidates of Character
Candidate Evaluation Process
BTB’s process begins with a multi-level character screening: they request references from one superior, one peer, and three subordinates. Consistency across these perspectives is critical. If the evaluations do not align, BTB investigates further, seeking only those who demonstrate integrity and positive character throughout all ranks.
Screening Targets Hierarchically Misaligned Candidates With Character Risks
May emphasizes that not all who serve, even in special operations, are ideal candidates for every civilian role. The organization specifically seeks those whose character holds up under scrutiny from above, beside, and below—avoiding “hierarchically misaligned” individuals who may present risks when placed in civilian jobs or leadership positions.
Screening For Character Ensures High-Quality Individuals Create a Referral Network, Prompting Employers to Request More Graduates
This character-driven screening results in high-quality candidates, creating a powerful alumni network. Employers who hire BTB graduates often request more, validating the effectiveness and selectivity of the process.
Support System For Health, Skills, and Career Placement
Participants Get a Personality Assessment to Explore Career Possibilities and Align Strengths With Industries
Once accepted, veterans receive a comprehensive personality assessment. This goes beyond standard test results: BTB sits down with candidates to discuss their assessment, broadening their perspective about which civilian roles might align with their skills and interests.
Organization Assists Veterans In Stopping Unnecessary Service-Related Medications
BTB addresses the lingering effects of service—many veterans arrive dependent on medications for pain, sleep, and alertness. The organization guides participants safely off unnecessary drugs, sometimes using transitional means like CBD, and restores their health and well-being.
Support For Va Claims and Combat-Related Compensation
Acknowledging the bureaucratic hurdles veterans face, BTB helps with VA claims and assists in securing Combat-Related Special Compensation (CRSC), which supplements both disability and retirement payments, often tax-free. This support is vital, as military retirement alone is insufficient for most families.
Customized Career Development and Mentorship Pathways
Veterans Paired With Mentors For Business Communication and Norms
Next, BTB matches participants with mentors from the business world—people outside the SEAL community. These mentors help veterans learn norms of business communication and prepare them for civilian success, providing honest, growth-oriented feedback.
Opportunities Are Introduced Gradually and Sequentially, Understanding Initial Placements May Not Stick; It Typically Takes two or Three Attempts to Find the Right Career Fit
Career placements begin tentatively, with veterans trying out one industry at a time. Recognizing that the first placement may not be the perfect fit, BTB anticipates two or three attempts before finding a lasting match.
Organization Assists Veterans in Real Estate Careers With Mentorship and Licensing Support, Entrepreneurship Via Startup Funding, and Search Fund Opportunities For Company Acquisition and Equity Building
BTB supports real estate careers by arranging mentors, licensing, and covering upfront costs. For entrepreneurial veterans, BTB helps with startup funding and connects them with search funds that enable company acquisition, offering significant equity stakes and business-building opportunities.
Proven Success Metrics and Demonstrated Impact
Over Sixty Veterans Placed In Careers With Zero Suicides Among High-Risk Participants
BTB has placed more than 60 high-risk veterans in new careers—all without a single suicide among participants. These are often the most deployed, trauma-exposed SEALs: the very individuals statistics would most likely predict to suffer post-service.
High-Performing Veterans Frequently Deployed, Endure Greatest Trauma, Highest Suicide Risk
The veterans BTB serves are not marginal team members, but those repeatedly placed in harm’s way due to their competence. Their resilience makes them vulnerable to high trauma and suicide risk, underscoring the impact of BTB’s intervention.
Organization Doubles Capacity Annually With Enhanced Staff and Processes, Showing Effectiveness and Unmet Need
Intake doubles each year, growing staff proportionally without sacrificing quality. The overwhelming demand—far exceeding initial expectations—proves the need and effectiveness of BTB’s approach.
Organizational Evolution and Leadership Structure
Founder Prioritizes Mission Over Board Resignations
Early in BTB’s formation, differences with the board led to mass resignations when founder Jimmy May remained focused on the mission to “screen and select SEALs of character.” Though difficult, this affirmed the organization’s identity and May’s commitmen ...
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Beyond Brotherhood: Tackling Veteran Suicide Via Screening, Mentorship, Employment, and Support
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Counterarguments
- The rigorous character screening process, while intended to ensure high-quality candidates, may inadvertently exclude veterans who need support the most but do not have uniformly positive references due to the complexities of military service and trauma.
- Focusing primarily on "high-character" or "elite" veterans could be seen as neglecting the broader veteran population, many of whom also face significant challenges during transition but may not meet BTB’s selective criteria.
- The emphasis on removing veterans from service-related medications, even with transitional aids like CBD, may not be appropriate for all individuals and could conflict with medical advice or best practices for managing certain conditions.
- The model’s reliance on intensive mentorship and personalized support may limit scalability and make it difficult to reach the larger population of at-risk veterans.
- Highlighting zero suicides among a relatively small group of 60 participants may not be statistically significant or generalizable to the wider veteran community.
- The focus on high-intensity, SEAL-style fundraising events may not appeal to all potential donors and could reinforce stereotypes about veterans and military culture.
- The narrative that popular culture and media "profit" from the SEAL ethos while veterans suffer ...
Actionables
- you can offer to be a reference for a veteran you know by providing honest feedback about their character and work ethic, helping them build a strong foundation for job applications or mentorship programs; for example, reach out to a veteran friend and let them know you’re willing to vouch for them if they need references from different stages of their career.
- a practical way to support veterans’ transition is to invite a veteran to join you in a networking event or professional meetup outside their usual circles, then introduce them to people in your industry and help them practice business communication in a low-pressure setting.
- you can help raise awareness and funds for v ...
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Transitioning From Military To Civilian: Challenges Like Identity Loss, Skill Translation, and Mental Health Struggles
Transitioning out of military service is a profound life change that presents unique and multilayered challenges for veterans. This process is defined not only by a career shift but also by the simultaneous removal of critical pillars that have shaped veterans’ daily lives and sense of self.
Multiple Dimensions of Loss When Leaving Military Service
Military service provides more than just employment. According to Jocko Willink, it acts as the foundation of identity, community, structure, and purpose. These elements profoundly influence service members by offering clear roles, deep social bonds, predictable routines, and mission-driven objectives.
When these pillars are removed at once during the transition to civilian life, veterans experience what researchers call transition stress. This stress is a complex psychological challenge that goes far beyond the typical changes experienced during career shifts in the civilian world. Veterans often find themselves dealing with the simultaneous loss of identity, community, structure, and purpose, creating a unique type of anxiety and uncertainty about the future.
After formative years shaped by military culture and experiences, veterans must reconstruct their identity. This disruption is unlike the incremental changes faced in typical professional transitions, as the military’s influence permeates so many aspects of a veteran’s persona and outlook.
Practical Barriers to Employment and Career Success
One of the most common post-military challenges is translating military skills into civilian resume language. Veterans possess valuable and transferable skills, but often struggle to describe these in terms that civilian employers understand. Many employers lack familiarity with military terms, making it difficult for veterans to communicate the relevance of their experience.
Beyond skills translation, the differences between military and civilian workplace norms pose additional hurdles. Veterans must learn to navigate unwritten codes of conduct and social behaviors that can differ dramatically from those in the highly regimented military environment.
Additionally, many veterans lack the necessary career development resources, such as established professional networks or industry-specific knowledge, that their civilian peers may have built through years of post-secondary education or conventional career advancement. This limited access can make job searches and interviews more challenging, often leading to frustration and underemployment.
Mental Health and Substance Dependency During Transition
The emotional toll of adjusting to civilian life is compounded by practical stressors and the loss of familiar support systems. For special operations veterans in particular, dependency on prescription medications can develop as a means of managing symptoms related to the intensity and trauma of service.
Career transition stress, coupled with the loss of daily st ...
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Transitioning From Military To Civilian: Challenges Like Identity Loss, Skill Translation, and Mental Health Struggles
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Clarifications
- Transition stress specifically refers to the intense psychological strain veterans face due to the simultaneous loss of multiple core aspects of their lives, such as identity, community, and purpose. Unlike typical career change stress, which usually involves adapting to new job roles or environments, transition stress encompasses a deeper existential disruption. It often includes challenges related to reintegrating into civilian society, which lacks the structured support systems found in the military. This makes transition stress more complex and multifaceted than standard career transition difficulties.
- In military life, "identity" refers to how service members see themselves shaped by their role and values. "Community" means the close-knit bonds and support networks formed with fellow service members. "Structure" involves the strict routines, rules, and hierarchy that organize daily life and duties. "Purpose" is the clear, mission-driven goal that gives meaning to their service and actions.
- Jocko Willink is a retired Navy SEAL officer known for his leadership expertise and military experience. He co-authored the bestselling book "Extreme Ownership," which applies military leadership principles to civilian life. His perspective is relevant because he deeply understands the military mindset and transition challenges. Willink’s insights help bridge military and civilian worlds for veterans.
- Special operations veterans are military personnel who have served in elite units trained for high-risk, specialized missions. Their experiences often involve intense physical and psychological demands, including exposure to combat and trauma. This can lead to unique mental health challenges and higher rates of prescription medication use. Their transition difficulties may be more severe due to the extreme nature of their service.
- Military culture emphasizes values like discipline, loyalty, and teamwork, which shape how service members think and behave. It instills a strong sense of duty and identity tied to the group and mission. This culture influences decision-making, communication styles, and emotional responses. As a result, veterans often carry these ingrained attitudes and habits into civilian life.
- Military roles often use specialized jargon and acronyms unfamiliar to civilian employers. Veterans must translate technical or leadership skills into common business terms that highlight their relevance. For example, "leading a squad" can be described as "managing a team." This translation helps employers understand the veteran's experience and potential contributions.
- Military workplaces emphasize strict hierarchy, clear chains of command, and formal communication, while civilian workplaces often have flatter structures and more informal interactions. Military culture values uniformity, discipline, and following orders without question, whereas civilian environments encourage individual initiative and flexible problem-solving. Social codes in the military include specific rituals, jargon, and a strong sense of collective identity, which may be unfamiliar or less pronounced in civilian settings. Understanding these differences helps veterans adapt to new expectations and social dynamics in civilian jobs.
- Veterans may distrust civilian mental health professionals because these providers often lack firsthand experience with military culture and combat trauma. This gap can lead to misunderstandings or feeli ...
Counterarguments
- While many veterans experience challenges during transition, a significant number successfully adapt to civilian life without severe identity loss or psychological distress, suggesting that the experience is not universally negative or uniquely difficult for all.
- The skills translation issue is increasingly being addressed by both military transition programs and civilian employers, with many organizations now offering resources and training to help veterans communicate their experience effectively.
- Civilian workplaces also value structure, teamwork, and leadership, and many veterans find that their military-acquired skills are recognized and appreciated in various industries.
- The perception that civilian employers lack understanding of military experience is changing as more veterans enter the workforce and as awareness initiatives grow.
- Not all veterans lack professional networks; some actively build connections during service or through veteran organizations, and many industries have dedicated veteran hiring programs.
- The stigma around mental health is not un ...
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Business Ventures: Mayday Executive's Training Events and Cable Pilot Tech For Safety
Mayday Executive is redefining corporate team-building and safety technology through immersive training events and groundbreaking innovations in worker protection.
Experiential Model For Team Building and Overcoming Fear
Mayday Executive specializes in custom high-stress training activities tailored for executive and corporate groups. These events include vehicle maneuvers, shooting ranges, spear fishing expeditions, and survival training scenarios. The aim is to foster both confidence and strong relationships among participants by learning new skills under challenging circumstances and embracing vulnerability within a trusted group.
Profound learning occurs when participants are supported in achieving feats they once considered impossible. The combination of expert training and group encouragement teaches clients to push their limits. The sense of accomplishment translates to their professional lives: having overcome daunting physical and psychological obstacles, executives report applying their newfound capabilities and resilience to tackle boardroom challenges and business negotiations.
Practical Event Examples and Client Impact
A signature experience offered by Mayday Executive involves spear fishing in the open ocean. Participants face significant physical exertion, environmental stress, and the added pressure of hunting a fast-moving animal at depths of seventy feet, often on a single breath hold. One executive recounted shooting a 130-pound bluefin tuna as it sped by at forty miles an hour—a harrowing but exhilarating accomplishment that left him both overwhelmed and eager to repeat the experience. The confidence gained during such events empowers participants to approach professional settings with greater poise and determination.
Corporate groups also take part in high-stress tactical vehicle training where they master precision driving under pressure, overcoming initial fears. These hands-on, demanding scenarios enable team members to forge deep bonds through shared vulnerability and achievement. Many clients, deeply impacted by the transformative experience, return for repeat engagements, underscoring the lasting impact and strengthened team cohesion.
Flexible, Customized Service Delivery
Mayday Executive’s business model is built on flexibility and customization. Rather than adhering to a fixed menu of services, founder Jimmy May welcomes new client requests and rapidly assembles the required expertise by reaching out to a broad network of former military professionals and subject matter experts. He explains, "I haven’t had to say no yet," reflecting his commitment to solving logistical challenges after confirming client interest. For example, he enlisted a SEAL team member experienced in land navigation to organize an event requiring those specialized skills.
Founder Enlists Seal Veterans, Military Pros For Expertise in New Areas
May’s ability to draw on elite veterans and military professionals allows Mayday Executive to expand its offerings into new domains, ensuring top-tier quality and safety for an ...
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Business Ventures: Mayday Executive's Training Events and Cable Pilot Tech For Safety
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Clarifications
- High-stress training activities simulate intense, pressure-filled situations to build mental toughness and decision-making skills. They help executives develop resilience by exposing them to controlled challenges outside their comfort zones. This experience improves their ability to stay calm and think clearly during real workplace crises. Ultimately, it enhances leadership effectiveness under stress.
- Vehicle maneuvers in tactical training involve controlling a vehicle precisely under challenging conditions, such as tight turns, sudden stops, and obstacle avoidance. Tactical vehicle training often includes high-speed driving, defensive driving techniques, and handling emergency situations to improve reaction time and safety. These skills help drivers maintain control and make quick decisions in stressful or dangerous environments. The training enhances both individual driving ability and team coordination during complex scenarios.
- Spear fishing at seventy feet requires advanced breath-holding skills and equalizing ear pressure to avoid injury. Divers must manage oxygen efficiently to prevent blackout risks during ascent. The physical strain includes swimming against currents and maintaining focus on fast-moving fish. Safety protocols and training are essential to handle these challenges effectively.
- Land navigation is the skill of using maps, compasses, and natural landmarks to find one's way in unfamiliar terrain. It is crucial for military personnel like SEAL team members to move safely and efficiently during missions without relying on GPS. Mastery of land navigation ensures teams can reach objectives, avoid hazards, and maintain operational security. These skills are valuable in training scenarios that simulate real-world challenges requiring precise movement and decision-making.
- A cable pilot device acts as a guide to thread cables through tight or complex pathways during installation. It reduces the need for workers to manually handle and secure cables at dangerous heights. This tool minimizes physical strain and the risk of accidents by streamlining the cable-pulling process. It is especially useful in environments like cell towers where safety and efficiency are critical.
- Working at heights of 300 to 400 feet exposes workers to severe fall hazards, which can result in fatal injuries. Strong winds, weather changes, and equipment failure increase the danger at these elevations. Rescue operations are complex and time-sensitive due to the height and limited access. Strict safety protocols and specialized training are essential to minimize risks.
- Patent approval grants legal protection to an invention, preventing others from making, using, or selling it without permission. It confirms the invention is novel, non-obvious, and useful. This protection encourages innovation by allowing inventors to control and potentially profit from their creations. Without a patent, competitors could freely copy the invention, reducing its commercial value.
- ANSI (American National Standards In ...
Counterarguments
- High-stress, physically demanding activities such as spear fishing or tactical vehicle training may not be accessible or appealing to all executives, potentially excluding individuals with physical limitations or differing interests.
- The transferability of skills and confidence gained from extreme physical challenges to professional or boardroom settings is not universally supported by empirical evidence; some may argue that traditional leadership or communication training could be equally or more effective.
- The focus on military-style or high-adrenaline experiences may reinforce a narrow definition of leadership and team-building that does not resonate with all corporate cultures or values.
- Reliance on former military professionals and elite veterans for expertise may limit the diversity of perspectives and approaches in training design.
- The c ...
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Skills Growth & Mentorship: The Importance of Learning, Teaching, and Overcoming Learned Helplessness
Jocko Willink and Jimmy May delve deep into the realities of skill acquisition, mentorship, and resilience, highlighting misconceptions about innate ability and emphasizing the value of learning through effort, exposure, and generational teaching.
Foundational Principle That Skills Are Learnable, Not Innate
Jocko Willink explains that many children and adults wrongly believe competence is innate rather than the result of practice. He shares the example of his daughter thinking she was "stupid" because she couldn't instantly do her times tables, not realizing that studying and repetition lead to mastery. Many people assume they should know how to fight, shoot, or play sports like hockey or soccer without practice, but initial struggle is universal and does not predict ultimate capability. Jocko emphasizes that almost everyone sits in the middle of the bell curve for skill acquisition—there are a rare few who are immediately adept or hopeless at something, but for most, skill comes from exposure and persistence.
Jimmy May echoes this point, describing his own struggle learning to shoot a pistol and how, despite early difficulties and being naturally "jumpy," consistent work helped him become proficient. Both note that adults often avoid new challenges after early failures, not realizing that struggle is a natural part of learning.
Required Minimum Competence to Access Enjoyment
Jocko describes activities like surfing, jiu-jitsu, and shooting, explaining that until you reach a baseline skill threshold, the experience remains unenjoyable and frustrating. For instance, surfing only becomes enjoyable after one is able to stand up and ride a wave; jiu-jitsu isn’t fun until you finally submit someone; even then, the journey is filled with discomfort and failure. Many quit before reaching this threshold, missing out on discovering either their capacity or potential enjoyment.
Guiding youth, Jocko suggests parents and mentors should encourage kids to endure initial discomforts and setbacks, so they have the chance to discover satisfaction and mastery. Success becomes "more fun when you know what you’re doing," reinforcing the value of pressing past the novice stage.
Spaced Preparation Creates Confidence and Reduces Real-World Risk
The hosts stress the importance of developing skills in low-stakes, controlled environments to build competence and confidence. Jocko shares how he taught his kids to drive by pushing the limits in a safe, empty parking lot. This practice at higher intensities made normal driving seem easy and safe.
Jimmy provides examples from firearm and vehicle training, noting that hands-on, repetitive exposure helps manage panic, build procedural memory, and reduce accidents. Teaching his son safe e-bike signals or performing pit maneuvers in training environments made those skills automatic and reduced risk outside training.
Constant, spaced repetition not only cements skills but also inoculates children against accidents, mistakes, and fear. Such practice is essential for comprehensive skill development and retention.
Generational Knowledge Transfer and Legacy Building
Passing skills down shapes both competence and family identity. Jimmy May points out the importance of preparing children (especially future heads of families) to meet challenges. Teaching skills—ranging from mechanical basics to handling adversity—builds family legacies, strengthens relationships, and boosts confidence.
Jocko stresses the ultimate importance of teaching others how to pass on skills, creating layers of empowerment. When parents teach by example and share practical guidance, they also transfer belief, values, and resilience.
Jimmy shares examples of sharing life lessons (such as snowchain preparedness) with his son, making it part of family culture and ensuring valuable skills do not vanish with one generation.
Stress Inoculation Through Progressive Difficulty In Training
Both Jocko and Jimmy emphasize training in high-stress or uncomfortable scenarios as essential. By repeatedly ...
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Skills Growth & Mentorship: The Importance of Learning, Teaching, and Overcoming Learned Helplessness
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Counterarguments
- While most skills can be improved with practice, some individuals do have innate advantages (e.g., cognitive, physical, or neurological) that can make certain skills easier or harder to acquire, regardless of effort.
- Enjoyment of an activity is subjective and can occur at any stage, not necessarily only after reaching a baseline competence; some people find joy in the process of learning itself.
- Not all skills are equally accessible to everyone due to socioeconomic, physical, or psychological barriers, which can limit opportunities for exposure and practice.
- The emphasis on persistence and overcoming discomfort may overlook the importance of recognizing when a particular activity is not a good fit for an individual’s interests, values, or well-being.
- Generational knowledge transfer can sometimes perpetuate outdated or less effective practices, and may not always be beneficial if not critically evaluated.
- Stress inoculation through controlled exposure may not be effective or appropriate for everyone, especially those with certain mental health conditions or trauma histories.
- The focus on skill acquis ...
Actionables
- you can keep a “struggle log” for any new skill you try, jotting down moments of confusion or frustration and then reviewing it monthly to spot patterns in your progress and normalize early setbacks; this helps you see that initial difficulty is expected and temporary, making it easier to persist through the uncomfortable phase until you reach enjoyment.
- a practical way to build confidence and reduce fear is to set up a weekly “mini challenge” where you deliberately practice a new or uncomfortable task in a low-stakes setting, such as assembling a simple DIY kit, trying a new recipe, or learning a basic dance move, and then reflect on what felt easier after repeated attempts.
- you can create a family or frien ...
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1-Page Summary- Parenting & Family Leadership: Raising Responsible, Confident Children and Passing Down Skills
- Beyond Brotherhood: Tackling Veteran Suicide Via Screening, Mentorship, Employment, and Support
- Transitioning From Military To Civilian: Challenges Like Identity Loss, Skill Translation, and Mental Health Struggles
- Business Ventures: Mayday Executive's Training Events and Cable Pilot Tech For Safety
- Skills Growth & Mentorship: The Importance of Learning, Teaching, and Overcoming Learned Helplessness
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