You 2.0: The Practice of Patience
In this episode of Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam and psychologist Sarah Schnitker explore the role of patience in modern life. Through examples ranging from athletes' injury recovery to religious practices, they examine how patience involves both emotional regulation and the ability to delay gratification—skills that can lead to improved health outcomes and stronger relationships in an age of instant gratification.
The episode also features Jennifer Tosti-Kharas discussing the relationship between meaningful work and personal fulfillment. She explains Amy Rzezniewski's framework for understanding how people view their work—as jobs, careers, or callings—and explores how individuals can make their work more meaningful through "job crafting." The discussion addresses the benefits and potential pitfalls of viewing work as a calling, along with strategies for discovering one's professional purpose.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Jan 19, 2026 episode of the Hidden Brain
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1-Page Summary
The Psychology and Benefits of Patience
In this discussion, Shankar Vedantam and Sarah Schnitker explore the value of patience in modern life. Schnitker explains that patience involves both emotional regulation and the ability to delay gratification—skills that are increasingly undervalued in today's world of instant gratification.
Through reappraisal, which involves changing how we perceive situations, Schnitker suggests we can develop greater patience. This practice can lead to improved health outcomes, stronger relationships, and a deeper sense of life purpose. For example, teenagers practicing Ramadan fasting and young adults running marathons for charitable causes showed enhanced patience that extended beyond these specific activities.
The Costs and Challenges of Impatience
Schnitker explains that impatience often stems from our natural desire for certainty and aversion to uncertainty. This can lead to hasty decisions and potentially harmful actions, as demonstrated during the COVID pandemic when some people pursued dangerous "quick fixes."
Vedantam illustrates the consequences of impatience through the case of Robert Griffin III (RG3), whose rushed return from injury led to career setbacks. This stands in contrast to Simone Biles' patient approach to her mental health, which ultimately contributed to her successful return to competition.
Navigating the Pursuit of Meaningful Work and "Callings"
Jennifer Tosti-Kharas discusses Amy Rzezniewski's framework for understanding work relationships, categorizing them as jobs, careers, or callings. While viewing work as a calling often leads to greater job satisfaction, it can risk overcommitment and work-life imbalance.
Tosti-Kharas emphasizes that passion for work can evolve over time, and meaningful work doesn't always have to be a calling. She suggests that people can engage in "job crafting" to make their work feel more meaningful, and that finding a calling later in life is just as valid as discovering it early. The process of discovering one's calling requires self-reflection, attention to external signals, and strategic exploration rather than random attempts.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Reappraisal is a cognitive strategy where you change your interpretation of a situation to alter its emotional impact. For example, viewing a delay as an opportunity to prepare rather than a setback reduces frustration. This shift helps regulate emotions, making it easier to wait calmly. Over time, practicing reappraisal strengthens patience by rewiring habitual responses to stress.
- Ramadan fasting is a religious practice observed by Muslims worldwide, involving abstaining from food, drink, and other physical needs from dawn to sunset for a month. It requires significant self-discipline and emotional regulation, embodying patience and delayed gratification. The fast is intended to foster spiritual growth, empathy for the less fortunate, and self-control. This cultural context highlights how patience is cultivated through sustained, purposeful effort.
- Robert Griffin III, known as RG3, is a former professional American football quarterback. He suffered a serious knee injury early in his career and returned to play sooner than recommended. This rushed comeback led to further injuries and a decline in his performance. His experience exemplifies how impatience can cause negative long-term consequences.
- Simone Biles prioritized her mental health by openly acknowledging struggles with anxiety and stress during major competitions. She chose to withdraw from certain events to focus on recovery rather than risking injury or poor performance. This patient approach allowed her to return stronger and maintain a longer, more successful career. Her actions highlighted the importance of mental well-being in elite sports.
- Amy Rzezniewski's framework distinguishes how people relate to their work based on motivation and meaning. A "job" is primarily for earning money with little personal fulfillment. A "career" involves advancement and skill development over time. A "calling" is work done for intrinsic fulfillment and a sense of purpose, often aligned with personal values.
- Job crafting is the process by which employees actively change aspects of their jobs to better fit their skills, interests, and values. It can involve altering tasks, relationships, or how one perceives their work. This proactive approach helps increase job satisfaction and engagement. Job crafting empowers individuals to create more meaningful and fulfilling work experiences.
- "External signals" refer to feedback and cues from the outside world that help guide career decisions. These can include advice from mentors, job market trends, recognition from others, or opportunities that arise unexpectedly. Paying attention to these signals helps individuals identify paths that align with their strengths and interests. They act as practical indicators to refine and validate one's sense of calling.
Counterarguments
- While patience is beneficial, there are situations where quick decision-making is essential, and the ability to act swiftly can be equally valuable.
- Reappraisal as a method to develop patience may not be effective for everyone, as individuals have different psychological makeups and coping mechanisms.
- The link between patience and improved health outcomes or stronger relationships may be correlational rather than causal; other factors could contribute to these benefits.
- The idea that engaging in challenging activities like fasting or marathons universally enhances patience may not hold true for all individuals, as some may find these experiences stressful or unhelpful.
- The notion that impatience is primarily driven by a desire for certainty overlooks other potential factors such as personality traits, cultural influences, or situational pressures.
- The comparison between Robert Griffin III and Simone Biles may oversimplify the complexities of each athlete's situation and the factors contributing to their decisions and outcomes.
- The framework categorizing work as jobs, careers, or callings may not encompass the full spectrum of how individuals relate to their work, and some may find the categories limiting.
- The concept of job crafting assumes that individuals have the autonomy and resources to reshape their work, which may not be the case for all workers, particularly those in lower-wage or less flexible jobs.
- The idea that discovering a calling later in life is just as valid as early discovery may not resonate with individuals who feel societal pressure to establish their career paths early on.
- The process of discovering one's calling being described as requiring strategic exploration may not account for the serendipitous or unplanned ways in which some people find their life's work.
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The Psychology and Benefits of Patience
Shankar Vedantam and Sarah Schnitker discuss the often overlooked value of patience in modern life and how cultivating it can lead to numerous benefits.
Patience: A Lost Skill in Modern Life
Vedantam introduces the importance of patience by sharing a parable of a man learning from bamboo that doesn't grow visibly for years, which actually develops strong roots underground. This story illustrates the hidden workings and benefits of patience.
Patience: Regulating Emotions and Delaying Gratification, Undervalued In Today's Instant Gratification World
Vedantam addresses the "sweet spot" of patience, which involves regulating emotions and balancing when to wait versus when to act. Sarah Schnitker describes reappraisal—changing how one perceives a situation, such as considering a delay as an opportunity to develop patience or trying to understand a child's behavior from their perspective.
Vedantam suggests that being patient with oneself, as it relates to self-regulation and accepting personal flaws and limitations, is another important form of patience that requires the right mix of courage and patience.
Cultivating Patience Can Provide Significant Benefits
Schnitker explains that practicing patience can enhance health and life purpose, as acting with both courage and patience ensures avoiding the extreme of being overly passive. She shares her own experience of practicing patience when ill, which improved her overall health and success over time by allowing rest and mindfulness instead of forcing productivity.
Practicing Patience Enhances Health, Reduces Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Strengthens Relationships, and Enriches Life Purpose
Reappraisal, as Schnitker mentions, can lead to better emotional regulation and greater patience, with subsequent health and relationship benefits. The discussion highlights that a higher order purpose can bolster one's patience and contribute to reduced stress and a richer sense of life's purpose.
For instance, teenagers who practiced fasting during Ramadan showed improved patience that persisted beyond the fasting period, indicating the impact of a challenging practice for a greater reason. Likewise, young adults running marathons for philanthropic reasons developed more patience than those running only for health and fitness.
Patience Helps Navigate Setbacks, Persevere With Long-Term Goals, and Find Work Fulfillment
Linking patience with endurance through setbacks and success, Vedantam suggests th ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
The Psychology and Benefits of Patience
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Reappraisal is a cognitive strategy where you change your interpretation of a situation to alter its emotional impact. For example, viewing a delay as a chance to practice patience rather than a frustration reduces negative feelings. This process helps regulate emotions by shifting focus from distressing aspects to more positive or neutral perspectives. It is an effective way to manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
- The bamboo parable illustrates that growth and progress often happen beneath the surface before becoming visible. Bamboo spends years developing a strong root system underground, which supports rapid growth later. This symbolizes how patience involves enduring unseen efforts and delays before achieving success. It teaches that immediate results are not always indicative of eventual strength or accomplishment.
- Simone Biles withdrew from the Tokyo 2020 Olympics to focus on her mental health, demonstrating self-awareness and prioritizing well-being over immediate competition. This decision required patience to accept a temporary setback and trust in her long-term recovery. Her ability to wait and prepare carefully led to a successful comeback at the Paris 2024 Olympics. This example shows patience as balancing persistence with self-care, not just pushing through challenges blindly.
- Ramadan is a month in the Islamic calendar when Muslims fast from dawn to sunset, abstaining from food, drink, and other physical needs. This fasting requires self-control and endurance, which naturally cultivates patience. The practice also encourages reflection, empathy, and spiritual growth, reinforcing the ability to tolerate delays and discomfort. These skills gained during Ramadan can extend beyond the fasting period, improving overall patience in daily life.
- Martin Luther King Jr. combined patience with courage by persistently advocating for civil rights through nonviolent protest despite facing violence and imprisonment. His patience allowed him to endure setbacks without resorting to aggression, while his courage drove him to confront injustice boldly. This balance helped sustain the civil rights movement over many years. It exemplifies how patience paired with courage can lead to meaningful social change.
- Patience helps reduce stress, anxiety, and depression by improving emotional regulation, allowing individuals to respond calmly rather than react impulsively. It activates the prefrontal cortex, which controls decision-making and impulse control, reducing negative emotional responses. Practicing patience also lowers cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress. Over time, this leads to greater psychological resilience and a more balanced mood.
- Being patient means calmly enduring delays or challenges while maintaining purposeful action toward a goal. Passivity involves inaction or avoidance, often leading to missed opportunities or stagnation. Recklessness is acting without careful thought, risking harm or failure by ignoring conseq ...
Counterarguments
- While patience is often beneficial, there can be situations where immediate action is necessary and waiting could lead to missed opportunities or negative outcomes.
- The concept of patience might be culturally relative, and what is considered patient behavior in one culture might be seen as procrastination or laziness in another.
- The emphasis on patience could potentially be used to justify inaction in the face of injustice or urgent issues that require prompt attention.
- The idea that patience always leads to better health outcomes may not account for situations where stress is a motivator for positive change or action.
- The notion that challenging practices inherently increase patience may not hold true for everyone, as some individuals might experience increased frustration or stress instead.
- The balance between patience and courage is not always clear-cut, and what one person sees as courageous, another might see as reckless, or vice versa.
- The suggestion that understanding the purpose behind actions makes managing setbacks easier may not apply to all individuals, especially those who struggle with finding meaning in their experiences.
- The examples provided, su ...
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The Costs and Challenges of Impatience
Impatience may seem harmless in small doses, but its effects can run deep, impacting mental health, relationships, and even careers.
Impatience Arises From the Desire For Certainty and Aversion to Uncertainty
Individuals naturally seek predictability and certainty. Sarah Schnitker explains that this human desire leads to impatience when facing ambiguity and uncertainty; people resort to quick-fixes or risky actions to gain a sense of control, which can be dangerous or counterproductive. She shares how as a child, she gave up on basketball because it didn't come easily to her, opting for the safer and more certain option of not playing rather than persisting despite the uncertainty of her potential. Schnitker also discusses our collective hatred for boredom, noting that impatience is often fueled by a situation we want to change but cannot.
During times of uncertainty, such as the COVID pandemic, this drive for certainty led some to engage in dangerous behaviors like drinking bleach, based on unsubstantiated assertions of it being a solution, despite the potential harm. Our minds latch onto anything that offers certainty, often leading to premature and potentially harmful decisions.
Impatience Can Have Serious Consequences
Impatience has been linked to several serious health and social consequences. It increases the potential for heart problems, difficulty handling stress which can evolve into anxiety, loneliness due to strained relationships, and higher depressive symptoms. Shankar Vedantam cites the case of Robert Griffin III (RG3) as an example of the negative consequences impatience can have on health and careers. RG3 suffered a serious injury but was rushed back to the playing field, which eventually led to further injuries and a significant setback in his promising career. The push to have RG3 return quickly, especially with the promotion ...
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The Costs and Challenges of Impatience
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Sarah Schnitker is a psychologist known for her research on human behavior and decision-making. Her work often explores how people cope with uncertainty and stress. She provides expert insight into why impatience arises from a desire for certainty. Her perspective is relevant because it is grounded in psychological science.
- Robert Griffin III, also known as RG3, is a former NFL quarterback who suffered a severe knee injury (a torn ACL and LCL) during his rookie season in 2012. Despite the injury, he was pressured to return to play quickly, which led to further damage and hindered his performance. This rushed comeback affected his career trajectory, preventing him from reaching the high expectations set during his early success. His situation highlights the risks of prioritizing immediate results over proper recovery.
- The "All In for Week 1" Adidas campaign was a marketing effort promoting Robert Griffin III's quick return to football after injury. It emphasized immediate readiness and performance, pressuring him to play despite not being fully healed. This campaign exemplified how commercial interests can encourage impatience and risky decisions. It contributed to RG3's rushed comeback and subsequent career setbacks.
- Simone Biles is a world-renowned gymnast who withdrew from several Olympic events in 2021 to focus on her mental health. Her decision highlighted the importance of prioritizing well-being over immediate performance. This contrasted with RG3's rushed return to sports despite injury, showing different approaches to handling pressure and health. Biles' choice is often cited as a positive example of patience and self-care.
- Impatience often causes chronic stress, which raises blood pressure and heart rate, increasing the risk of heart disease. Persistent stress also disrupts brain chemicals like serotonin, contributing to depression. Impatient behavior can lead to poor coping strategies, worsening mental health. Over time, these physiological and psychological effects create a harmful cycle impacting overall well-being.
- Aversion to uncertainty is a psychological discomfort caused by not knowing what will happen next. It triggers anxiety because the brain prefers predictable outcomes for safety and control. To reduce this discomfort, people often seek immediat ...
Counterarguments
- Impatience can sometimes be a driver of innovation and progress, as the desire for immediate results can push individuals to find efficient solutions quickly.
- The desire for certainty is not always negative; it can lead to careful planning and risk assessment, which are valuable in decision-making processes.
- Not all quick fixes or risky actions are necessarily dangerous or counterproductive; some may lead to positive outcomes if well-informed and well-executed.
- Boredom can be a catalyst for creativity and self-reflection, rather than just a trigger for impatience.
- The link between impatience and health problems like heart issues and anxiety is complex and may involve other contributing factors such as personality traits, lifestyle, and genetic predispositions.
- In some competitive fields, taking calculated risks by returning to activity quickly after an injury can be a strategic move that pays off, provided it is done with proper medical guidance.
- The narrative of prioritizing long-term health over immediate performance does not account for the nuanced decisions athletes and others in high-pressure careers must make, where the wi ...
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Navigating the Pursuit of Meaningful Work and "Callings"
Jennifer Tosti-Kharas examines the concept of work as it differs among individuals and the challenges, benefits, and potential pitfalls of pursuing a "calling."
Work as Job, Career, or Calling
Jennifer Tosti-Kharas discusses Amy Rzezniewski's framework for understanding people's relationships to work, categorizing it as a job, a career, or a calling, and how these relationships influence our feelings of fulfillment and engagement.
Viewing Work as a "Calling": Balances Engagement, Motivation, and Fulfillment but Risks Overcommitment
Work as a "calling" is seen as a source of fulfillment and passion. Those with a calling often feel consumed by their work and see their job as inseparable from their life, rather than merely a means to an end, which carries the risk of overcommitment and may interfere with a balanced life. Couples with incongruent work orientations can experience uncertainty and may find job searches more challenging. However, those who perceive their work as their calling often find greater job satisfaction.
Passion For One's Work Can Evolve Over Time
Tosti-Kharas explains that even within calling-oriented work, there can be mundane aspects, and work can still provide meaning outside of a calling, such as fueling external passions or contributing to a balanced life. Life changes, like having children or new partnerships, can shift priorities and redefine what is considered meaningful work. For example, Christina, a part-time singer who took a full-time job, didn't feel like she sold out because her definition of meaning expanded. Similarly, Midian's shift from makeup effects artist to teaching signifies a shift in passion and priorities.
Finding a New Calling: Challenging but Rewarding
Tosti-Kharas indicates that callings can change, and though there's cultural pressure to see work as a calling, prioritizing stability is also valid. People can engage in "job crafting" to make their work feel more like a calling. The distribution of people who view their work in terms of jobs, careers, or callings is roughly equal. Tosti-Kharas advises self-awareness in balancing the pursuit of a calling with other life priorities.
Shankar Vedantam discusses the common challenge of not finding a calling, while Catherine Deakis and Wayne Baker's research suggests that callings can be influenced by role mod ...
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Navigating the Pursuit of Meaningful Work and "Callings"
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- The framework of job, career, or calling may oversimplify the complexity of how individuals relate to their work and may not capture the full spectrum of work experiences and motivations.
- The concept of a calling might be culturally biased, reflecting a Western, individualistic perspective that may not resonate with all cultural or socioeconomic backgrounds.
- The idea that greater job satisfaction is inherently linked to viewing work as a calling could be challenged by the notion that satisfaction can also come from work-life balance, financial stability, or social contributions, regardless of calling.
- The emphasis on finding a calling could inadvertently devalue the importance of jobs that are primarily seen as a means to an end but are essential for societal functioning.
- The notion of job crafting as a way to make work feel more like a calling may not be feasible in all types of jobs, particularly those with rigid structures or limited autonomy.
- The advice to use an iterative reflective process to discern a calling may not be practical for individuals facing immediate economic pressures or those who lack the resources to engage in such a process.
- The distribution of people who view their work as a job, career, or calling being roughly equal may not hold true across different populations and could vary significantly based on factors like age, education, and cultural background.
- The idea that passion for work can evolve ...
Actionables
- You can create a "work orientation" journal to track how your view of work aligns with your daily experiences and feelings. Start by writing down your daily tasks and noting whether they feel like a job, a career, or a calling. Reflect on how this affects your mood and engagement. For example, if you notice that administrative tasks feel like a job but creative projects feel like a calling, consider seeking more creative opportunities within your role or outside of work.
- Develop a "calling evolution" plan to anticipate and adapt to changes in your work passion over time. Outline potential life events that could impact your career, such as starting a family or entering a new relationship, and brainstorm ways to adjust your work to maintain balance. For instance, if you plan to have children, you might explore flexible working arrangements or roles that allow you to integrate your professional skills with parenting.
- Engage in "micro job crafting" by making small, ...
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