Revisit: Surviving Holiday Travel with Kids
In this episode of Good Inside, Dr. Becky Kennedy addresses the challenges of traveling with children, suggesting a fundamental shift in how parents approach travel-related stress. Rather than attempting to avoid stress entirely, she encourages parents to develop strategies for managing inevitable challenges, from preparing children for new experiences to handling meltdowns when they occur.
Kennedy also provides practical solutions for common travel scenarios, including helping children adjust to sleeping in unfamiliar environments and managing sibling conflicts during car rides. She emphasizes the importance of proactive preparation, such as familiarizing children with new sleeping spaces before arrival and planning engaging activities for long car rides. Throughout the episode, Kennedy frames these challenges as opportunities for teamwork between parents and children, offering concrete steps for smoother family travels.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Dec 23, 2025 episode of the Good Inside with Dr. Becky
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1-Page Summary
Managing Stress and Expectations When Traveling With Kids
Becky Kennedy offers practical advice for parents traveling with children, emphasizing a crucial mindset shift from trying to avoid stress to learning how to manage it effectively. She suggests that instead of asking how to travel without stress, parents should focus on how to handle the inevitable challenges that arise during travel.
To reduce anxiety, Kennedy recommends preparing children by explaining what to expect during the journey. When meltdowns occur, she advises parents to prioritize safety rather than trying to immediately end the tantrum. Kennedy also suggests that parents can reduce their own stress by assuming fellow passengers will be understanding of challenging moments with children.
Helping Kids Adjust To New Sleeping Environments
When it comes to sleeping in unfamiliar places, Kennedy explains that children's struggles often stem from separation anxiety. To ease this transition, she recommends familiarizing children with their new sleeping space before arrival, such as showing them pictures of the room and making a game out of learning about the new environment. This proactive approach helps build comfort and reduces anxiety about sleeping in an unfamiliar place.
Navigating Sibling Conflicts During Car Rides
Kennedy addresses the challenge of managing sibling disputes during car rides, acknowledging that boredom and confined spaces can intensify tensions. She recommends early intervention when conflicts begin, suggesting that parents pull over when behavior is still manageable rather than waiting for full-blown arguments.
To prevent conflicts, Kennedy advises framing car rides as a team effort and involving children in problem-solving discussions. She recommends preparing activities and entertainment options in advance, including offline games and activities that can keep children engaged during the journey. This preparation, combined with clear communication about expectations for behavior, can help maintain a calmer traveling environment.
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Counterarguments
- While assuming fellow passengers will be understanding can reduce stress, it's also important to acknowledge that not all passengers will be sympathetic to the challenges of traveling with children, and parents may need to prepare for negative reactions as well.
- The advice to prioritize safety during a child's meltdown is sound, but it's also important to consider that in some situations, swiftly de-escalating a tantrum might be necessary for safety, especially in confined spaces like airplanes.
- Familiarizing children with new sleeping environments beforehand is a good strategy, but it may not always be practical or sufficient for all children, particularly those with more severe anxiety or special needs.
- Early intervention in sibling disputes is recommended, but pulling over a car might not always be possible or safe, depending on the driving conditions and environment.
- Preparing activities and entertainment for car rides is helpful, but it's also important to consider that too much screen time or sedentary activity can have other negative effects on children's health and well-being.
- Involving children in problem-solving discussions is beneficial, but depending on the age and maturity level of the children, they may not always be able to contribute effectively to resolving conflicts.
- Clear communication about behavior expectations is crucial, but it's also necessary to recognize that children may not always be able to meet these expectations due to developmental stages, temperament, or simply being tired and overwhelmed by the travel experience.
Actionables
- Create a "travel stress management kit" for parents that includes items like noise-canceling headphones, stress balls, and a list of breathing exercises to use when feeling overwhelmed. This kit can be a go-to resource for moments of high stress, providing both distraction and stress-relief tools that can be used by both parents and children.
- Develop a "journey journal" for kids where they can document their travel experiences, including their feelings and what they see. This activity not only keeps them engaged but also helps them process their emotions and experiences during the trip, which can reduce anxiety and provide a distraction during challenging moments.
- Organize a pre-trip "family meeting" where everyone discusses and agrees on travel rules and expectations, as well as fun goals for the trip, like spotting certain landmarks or trying new foods. This collaborative approach ensures that children feel involved and understand what is expected of them, which can lead to a smoother travel experience.
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Managing Stress and Expectations When Traveling With Kids
Becky Kennedy recalls the reality of traveling with small children and provides valuable insights for managing stress and expectations during such times.
Shift From "Avoiding Stress" To "Managing Stress"
Kennedy shares her experiences and suggests a shift in mindset for parents traveling with kids.
Reframing Views Stress As Inevitable yet Manageable Instead of Eliminating It
The key message from Becky Kennedy is upgrading the question from "How can I travel with my kids without stress?" to "How can I travel with my kids and manage my stress?" This reframing acknowledges that stress is a normal part of life, particularly when traveling with kids, and focuses on finding ways to manage stress rather than eliminating it.
Prepare Kids For What to Expect During Travel
Kennedy emphasizes the importance of preparing kids for what to expect during travel, which can significantly impact their travel experience.
Reducing Travel Anxiety For Kids By Sharing Details
Kennedy emphasizes the importance of explaining to kids what will happen during the travel process. She notes that informing children about the details of the trip can reduce their anxiety and prevent meltdowns because they better understand what to expect.
Approach Child Meltdowns With Calm, Not Panic
Kennedy provides advice on how to handle child meltdowns when they occur in the midst of traveling.
Parents' Role Is Safety, Not Instantly Ending Meltdowns, a Natural Stress Response
Kennedy counsels that the parent’s role during a child’s tantrum is to remain as calm as possible and to focus on the child’s safety, which may involve preventing the child from engaging in di ...
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Managing Stress and Expectations When Traveling With Kids
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Counterarguments
- While preparing children for what to expect can reduce anxiety, it may not always be possible to predict or explain every aspect of travel, which can still lead to stress and meltdowns.
- The assumption that fellow passengers will be understanding may not always hold true, and parents might need to prepare for and manage negative reactions from others.
- Managing stress is important, but there should also be an emphasis on proactive strategies to minimize stress where possible, not just coping mechanisms for when stress occurs.
- The advice to remain calm during a child's meltdown, while sound, may not acknowledge the varying emotional capacities and stress levels of different parents; some may need additional support or strategies to achieve calmness.
- The comparison of trying to end a tantrum to stopping a tornado might be seen as minimizing the potential effectiveness of certain strategies or techniques that can sometimes de-escalate a child's distress.
- The focu ...
Actionables
- Create a travel-themed storybook with your child that outlines the journey step by step, including common stress points, to familiarize them with the process. By crafting a narrative together, you can discuss each part of the travel experience, from packing to arrival, and include potential challenges like waiting in line or sitting still. This not only prepares them but also gives you a tool to refer back to during the trip when they need reassurance or reminders.
- Develop a "travel toolkit" with your child that contains items specifically chosen to address stress and boredom. This could include sensory toys for calming, favorite snacks for comfort, and a small blanket or stuffed animal for security. Let your child be involved in selecting these items, so they feel a sense of control and comfort in having familiar things with them.
- Practice "travel simulations" at home where you role- ...
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Helping Kids Adjust To New Sleeping Environments
The challenges children face with new sleeping environments when traveling can be daunting, with separation anxiety at the core of these difficulties. Kennedy provides insight into helping little ones overcome these hurdles.
Sleep Struggles Stem From Separation Anxiety
Bedtime Separation Anxiety in Unfamiliar Settings
Kennedy elaborates that children's sleep struggles, especially in new environments, can be traced back to anxiety and fears of separation. This is particularly prominent at bedtime when they may feel isolated from their parents in unfamiliar settings. Understanding the roots of these anxieties is the first step in helping children adapt to new sleeping environments.
Prepare Kids For the New Sleeping Environment
Easing Transition By Familiarizing the Room
To help children transition to a new sleeping environment, Kennedy advises that guardians take proactive steps to familiarize the child with the environment in advance. She suggests showing the child pictures of the room where they will be sleeping and having conversations about it prior to arrival. This preparation can help mitigate the stress associated with unfamiliar spaces.
Kennedy also recommends making a fun activity out of the preparation, such as engaging the child in a guessing game centered around specific details of the room, like the wall colors or the number of pillows. This play ...
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Helping Kids Adjust To New Sleeping Environments
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Counterarguments
- While familiarizing children with a new sleeping environment can be helpful, it may not be practical or possible in all situations, such as last-minute travel or when staying in a place that cannot be previewed.
- The assumption that all children's sleep struggles are due to separation anxiety might overlook other factors such as excitement, overstimulation, or discomfort due to the new environment itself (e.g., noise, light, bed comfort).
- The effectiveness of showing pictures and discussing the new environment beforehand may vary greatly among children, depending on their age, temperament, and developmental stage.
- Some children might find guessing games or discussions about an upcoming trip anxiety-inducing rather than reassuring, especially if they are prone to overthinking or have a tendency towards anxious attachment.
- The strategies suggested may not address deeper sleep issues unrelated to the environment, such as sleep disorders or behavioral challenges that require professional intervention.
- Encouraging children to engage with the new space is bene ...
Actionables
- Create a 'travel-themed' bedtime story that incorporates elements of the new sleeping environment, which you can read to your children before and during the trip. By weaving in details of the upcoming accommodation into a narrative, children can become emotionally attached to the place as part of a positive storyline, making the actual space feel like a safe, familiar setting from their story.
- Develop a 'sleepover kit' with your child that includes favorite items from home and a few new ones that will only be used in the new environment. This kit might contain a special blanket, a nightlight, and a travel-sized toy or pillow. The familiarity of the items provides comfort, while the new items create a sense of excitement and positive association with the new sleeping space.
- Use a digital storytelling app to create a pe ...
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Navigating Sibling Conflicts During Car Rides
Parenting expert Becky Kennedy addresses the common issue of sibling arguments during car rides and offers strategies to manage and prevent these disputes effectively.
Car Rides Trigger Sibling Arguments
Boredom, Confinement, and Unsupervised Time Worsen Sibling Tensions
Kennedy acknowledges that car rides can be challenging for parents and children alike, due to factors such as boredom from being in close quarters and the unsupervised time. She refers to her own experiences as a parent and suggests that feeling helpless while driving, because parents cannot easily intervene in kids' arguments, can lead to frustration.
Intervene Early, Before Conflicts Escalate
Address Squabbles Early to Prevent Meltdowns
Kennedy emphasizes the need to intervene early in sibling disputes, preferably when disruptive behavior is only a "two out of ten" in intensity. Addressing these issues at early signs of conflict, such as by pulling to the side of the road, signals to the children that the behavior is noticed and it prevents the situation from escalating. She also recommends pulling over in silence for 30 seconds to give both the parent and children time to breathe and quiet down, allowing for an effective de-escalation of the argument.
Involve Kids As Problem-Solving Partners
Kennedy suggests that involving children in resolving in-car conflicts can be beneficial. She advises parents to frame the car ride as a team effort and involves children in discussions to come up with solutions. This approach, she says, makes children feel honored to be part of the process, similar to how inclusive leaders engage their team members to address issues during meetings.
Frame the Car Ride As a Team Effort to Encourage Cooperation
After a quiet moment post-conflict, Kennedy recommends turning to the kids, acknowledging that car rides can be boring, and reminding them to get back on track as a team. She believes that positioning the kids as partners in finding solutions to car ride boredom will enco ...
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Navigating Sibling Conflicts During Car Rides
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Counterarguments
- While early intervention is important, it might not always be practical or safe to pull over, especially on highways or in areas where stopping could create a hazard.
- The effectiveness of involving children as problem-solving partners can vary depending on the children's ages, temperaments, and the dynamics of their relationship.
- Not all children may respond positively to the idea of the car ride as a team effort, and some may see it as an opportunity to shirk responsibility or blame others for conflicts.
- The suggestion to pause in silence for 30 seconds assumes that all children will respond to this method, but some may need a different approach to de-escalation.
- Preparing activities and entertainment might not always prevent boredom or conflicts, as children may tire of these distractions or disagree on what to engage with.
- The reliance on digital entertainment like Netflix games could be criticized for encouraging screen time, which some parents may prefer to limit, especially during family time like car rides.
- The advice provided may not take into account children with special needs or behavioral issues that require more tailored approaches.
- The strategies suggested may not b ...
Actionables
- Create a car ride playlist with input from each child to give them a sense of ownership and reduce boredom. By involving your children in the selection process, they'll feel more invested in the journey. For example, have each child choose a certain number of songs to add to the playlist, ensuring everyone's tastes are represented and they look forward to hearing their selections.
- Develop a reward system for peaceful car rides that incentivizes cooperative behavior. You can set up a points system where children earn points for every period they go without arguing, which can be exchanged for a small reward after the trip. This could be as simple as choosing the next movie for family movie night or picking a favorite snack.
- Introduce a rotating 'car captain' rol ...
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