Confidence Classic: How to Go Bigger and Stop Holding Yourself Back with Heather!

Discovering Your Calling Requires Self-Reflection and Removing Obstacles

Clarifying Questions Reveal Your Authentic Purpose

To discover your true calling, the process begins with honest self-reflection and asking clarifying questions. Consider what you were really put here to do. Ask yourself, your higher power, or the universe: What do people keep coming to me for? What am I passionate about? When am I happiest or most excited? Journaling and reflecting on these questions help reveal your authentic purpose. Getting clear on your purpose and passion is transformative and game-changing.

Removing Negativity Clears Your Direction

Often, finding clarity requires clearing away what's holding you back. This could mean stripping negativity, guilt, and shame from your life or distancing yourself from people who undermine your self-worth—the “villains” in your life. Heather Monahan emphasizes, “always claim your shame, cause if you don't, that shame is gonna claim you.” By releasing guilt and shame, you can focus on what is good and bring more positivity into your life. This process of removing mental and emotional clutter allows you to step into your power and see your path more clearly.

Purpose Transforms Work and Makes Tasks Meaningful

Discovering your purpose fundamentally changes how you approach your work. Monahan shares that when she speaks to audiences, she gives everything she has, motivated by the possibility of impacting even just one person's life. She describes this deep sense of fulfillment as “game-changing,” making every task meaningful rather than routine. Purpose fuels energy, gratitude, and a sense of serving the greater good, turning work into an expression of your authentic self.

Continuous Innovation and Testing New Approaches Prevent Stagnation and Maintain Relevance

Creative Adaptation of Techniques Enhances Your Toolkit and Avoids Repetition

To avoid career stagnation and bring freshness to your work, continually adapt and innovate your approach. Monahan describes observing her church pastor's use of props during preaching, which inspired her to creatively consider adding props to her own speeches—a departure from her usual delivery. By incorporating new methods, she can keep her presentations dynamic, hone her skills, and avoid falling into repetitive patterns.

Seeking Feedback Reveals Performance Blind Spots and Areas For Refinement

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Control vs. Uncontrol: Key to Mental Peace

Heather Monahan recounts a sleepless night spent worrying about an approaching hurricane that ultimately missed Miami. She recognizes this as wasted energy, noting she robbed herself of peace and time that could have been used for positive, productive activities. Monahan stresses that worrying about what we can’t control is the “most epic fail and biggest waste of time.” Instead of obsessing over media coverage or uncontrollable fears, she urges focusing on actions within one’s control: working out, spending time with loved ones, consuming uplifting content, reading, and self-improvement. She emphasizes the importance of releasing what you can’t control to maintain stability during uncertainty and encourages letting go, stating it isn’t worth the time or energy to obsess over uncontrollable outcomes.

Transforming Rejection Into Fuel For Growth Opportunities

Monahan shares a personal professional disappointment when she wasn’t selected for a coveted industry list of top keynote speakers, despite previous wins and substantial effort throughout the year. The rejection triggered public disappointment, ego hurt, shame, and frustration, especially after she had confidently shared expectations with friends and colleagues. She acknowledges and processes these feelings, understanding the tendency for negative energy to spiral and worsen her outlook.

In response, Monahan openly discussed her failure during two major speeches the same day, admitting her sense of loss and vulnerability. The audiences responded positively, appreciating her openness in sharing a painful, humbling moment. She notes that sharing failures fosters real connection and affirms personal value beyond external recognition. Monahan commits to excellence by using the setback as motivation: “I will bring my A game and my heat everywhere, tenfold this year.” She reframes rejection as an opportunity for growth, determination, and elevated performance.

Managing Negative Emotions By Focusing On Gratitude Prevents Compounding Negativity

Monahan also describes how eve ...

Leaders Balance Support and Accountability To Unlock Potential

Heather Monahan emphasizes the importance of having both cheerleaders and champions in the workplace and in life. Cheerleaders, like her friend Samantha, provide encouragement, love, and unwavering support, boosting confidence and morale through their words and presence. However, Monahan contends that it's not enough to only have cheerleaders; people also need champions—those who challenge and push them beyond their comfort zones. Champions hold others accountable to higher standards, believing in their capacity for much more and urging them to stretch their potential. Monahan recounts being tough on a friend during a team call for “playing too small,” explaining that her insistence on not letting people take the easy way out is rooted in her belief in their greatness. Champions say, “I'm not letting you get out of this that easy—you can do bigger, you can go for more, you can push yourself.” She summarizes, “Cheerleaders support you; champions propel you.”

Receiving Constructive Criticism From Caring People Requires Viewing Feedback As a Gift

Monahan shares that embracing feedback from people who genuinely care can lead to significant personal growth. Drawing from her pastor's advice, she advocates responding to constructive criticism with gratitude: “Thank you for loving me. Thank you for correcting me. And thank you for making me better.” She admits it is challenging to accept feedback without anger, emotion, or defensiveness, especially when it comes from someone holding you to a higher standard. Shifting to gratitude opens the door to being receptive rather than defensive, allowing the greatness others see in you to come forward. She distinguishes between constructive feedback, typically from those who act as both cheerleaders and champions, and destructive criticism, which should be discarded. Recognizing this difference is key to accepting input that fosters growth and letting go of comments meant to undermine.

Positive Communication Prevents Misunderstandings and Resentment

Monahan stresses that many misunderstandings in teams arise because people move quickly and often lack awareness of how their actions may affect others. She recommends first assuming unawareness, not malice, ...

Heather Monahan addresses the challenges listeners face in maintaining boundaries and advocating for themselves in the workplace, especially when confronted with requests to take on responsibilities outside their roles. Her advice centers on consistent communication, professional boundary-setting, and self-advocacy as avenues for workplace respect and growth.

Teaching Boundaries By Consistently Refusing Assignments Outside Your Role

Monahan recounts a listener’s story of being designated by a male supervisor as the default person for administrative and assistant tasks—duties outside her official role—while no one else is asked to do the same. Monahan stresses that "people will treat you the way you teach them to," drawing from her own experience of becoming the go-to person for extra work simply because she always said yes.

She emphasizes that consistently agreeing to every request sends the signal that you are universally available for any task, which enables and perpetuates such assignments. Recognizing when supervisors or colleagues are treating you differently from others is often the first clue of systemic mistreatment that needs to be addressed directly and professionally.

Talk With Supervisor on Role Clarity and Workload Management Prevents Resentment and Resolves Issues

Monahan advises scheduling a dedicated one-on-one meeting to discuss concerns, rather than addressing them informally. Sending an email to request 30 minutes of your supervisor’s time signals seriousness and opens a focused space for dialogue. During the meeting, she suggests starting from a professional standpoint by seeking feedback on your performance and reaffirming understanding of your official role and responsibilities. Establishing this common ground makes it easier to address the issue of added duties.

Next, she recommends itemizing specific tasks you’ve been asked to perform that fall outside your job description. By clearly outlining these extra duties, supervisors may become aware of patterns they didn't notice. Expressing that you are overwhelmed and at capacity, without an accusatory tone, helps prevent resentment and positions you as both a team player and a professional with limits.

Monahan suggests brainstorming solutions with your supervisor—such as delegating the tasks to another team member or discussing the possibility of hiring additional support—instead of simply refusing to do the work or complaining. This collaborative approach signals that you are solution-oriented and wish to resolve the problem constructively.

If your supervisor insists there are no other options and asks you to keep taking on the additional work, Monahan stresses the importance of reiterating that you do not have the bandwidth and grounding your refusal in your capacity limitations. Maintaining your professional stance by declining further responsibilities beyond your role keeps the responsibility firmly with leadership.

Standing Firm on Capacity Limits and Seeking Help Ensures Boundaries Are Respected Despite Supervisor Resistance

Monahan underscores that if a supervisor continues to mandate tasks outside your job description and will not collaborate on a solution, the next appropriate step is escalating the issue to human resources or seeking new employment. She emphasizes that knowing your worth and your clearly defined contractual duties empowers you to stand your ground.

She advises remaining factual and unemotional when discussing company policies or procedures that are out of your control. If you disagree with a policy, simply present the available options and ...