Confidence Classic: Stop Letting Others Steal Your Energy with Heather!
In this episode of Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, Heather shares personal experiences demonstrating how mindset shifts can protect your energy and build confidence. She recounts navigating chaotic travel situations by choosing gratitude over negativity, showing how this approach not only improved her own experience but also influenced those around her.
Heather also discusses overcoming self-doubt, particularly around her voice, through repeated exposure and positive feedback. She shares how authenticity proved essential when auditioning to narrate her audiobook, and emphasizes the importance of being your own biggest advocate. Throughout the episode, Heather encourages listeners to resist the pressure to diminish themselves for others' comfort, arguing that the world needs people willing to shine their light fully and unapologetically.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the May 12, 2026 episode of the Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
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1-Page Summary
Choosing Gratitude and Positivity In Challenges
Heather Monahan demonstrates how adopting gratitude and positivity transforms the way we experience difficult moments, particularly through her one-day trip to Dallas amid travel chaos.
Gratitude Transforms How We Navigate Challenges
Before leaving for Dallas, knowing she'd face crowded airports and travel disruptions, Heather made a conscious commitment to center her approach on gratitude and joy rather than stress and negativity. At the airport, while others descended into complaints amid long lines and COVID-related staffing shortages, Heather remained calm and grateful. When she reached a grumpy TSA agent, her warm greeting and humor transformed the agent's mood, leading to shared laughter that contrasted sharply with the prevailing negativity around them.
Gratitude Shields Against Negativity
During boarding, when a passenger loudly complained and tried to draw others into her negativity, Heather deliberately disengaged, choosing to "stay in your gratitude" and focus on her own blessings. This commitment paid off—her entire trip went smoothly with no delays or problems. Remarkably, she later encountered the same negative passenger in the bathroom, now cheerful and complimenting Heather's jacket, demonstrating how positivity can gradually influence those around us.
Overcoming Self-Doubt Through Exposure and Feedback
Heather's experience shows how repeated exposure and external feedback can transform insecurities into strengths.
Transforming Voice Insecurity
Heather admits she never liked her own voice, often cringing at recordings. When narrating her first audiobook with Scotty, a supportive friend from her radio career, she felt uncertain but ultimately proud of her performance. A few months later, a woman at an event complimented her "beautiful voice," prompting Heather to reconsider her negative view. After launching her podcast and hearing her voice repeatedly through editing and social media shares, her initial self-doubt faded. Heather explains that self-acceptance grew not from internal reasoning, but from exposure, normalization, and ongoing positive feedback from her audience.
Learning From Others' Innovation
Listening to David Goggins' audiobook, Heather noticed his unique technique of adding conversational commentary after each chapter. Inspired, she incorporated this approach for her next audiobook with Harper Collins, improvising behind-the-scenes commentary after reading each chapter. This new challenge earned outstanding feedback from listeners and enthusiastic endorsement from Harper Collins.
Authenticity: Being Yourself Over Faking It
Before auditioning to narrate her audiobook for Harper Collins, Heather reached out to her author friend Kendra Hall for advice. Kendra's message was simple: "just be you." This guidance emphasized that authenticity is key to achieving goals and connecting with opportunities. Kendra reinforced that if you show up as yourself and someone doesn't like you, that audience simply isn't for you.
Taking this advice to heart, Heather quickly recorded herself reading a chapter without over-rehearsing or altering her style. Her genuine and enthusiastic presentation resonated with decision-makers. Within two days, Harper Collins confirmed: "Heather, you got it, we loved it, it sounded so good." Her authenticity and confident execution won her the narration role.
Empowerment: Shine Your Light, Don't Dim For Others
Heather emphasizes the importance of not diminishing personal strengths to make others comfortable. She shares her own experience of dimming her light in hopes of making someone else feel better, now recognizing this was a mistake. Heather acknowledges societal messaging that often urges women to shrink themselves, but insists on resisting that pressure.
The World Needs Your Light
Heather underscores that the world urgently needs people willing to shine brightly. In a time filled with negativity and divisiveness, she believes an increase in positivity is vital. Refusing to dim your light requires only your own commitment to stop shrinking in areas where you've already grown. Heather encourages making life the "biggest, brightest, boldest thing" possible, urging everyone to take chances and go for more.
Being Your Own Biggest Advocate
Heather's audiobook experience highlights the necessity of self-advocacy to inspire confidence and achieve recognition. When Harper Collins asked her to audition for narrating her second book, "Overcome Your Villains," she initially questioned her qualifications. Despite nervousness, she believed deeply that her voice was good enough and recognized she needed to be her own biggest cheerleader.
Her confidence shined during the audition, and Harper Collins selected her over other narrators. Heather summarizes her lesson with a core question: "If I wasn't gonna be a champion for my voice and for narrating the Audible book, why would HarperCollins say yes?" She insists that if you are not your own advocate and champion, nobody else will step into that role for you.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While gratitude and positivity can improve personal experiences, they may not be sufficient for everyone to manage stress or overcome systemic issues, such as travel disruptions or workplace challenges.
- Deliberately disengaging from negativity may sometimes be perceived as dismissive or lacking empathy for others' struggles.
- The idea that positivity can influence others is situational; some individuals may remain unaffected or even react negatively to overt optimism.
- Relying on external validation and repeated exposure to overcome insecurities may not work for everyone, especially those with deeper self-esteem issues or mental health concerns.
- Adapting others' innovative techniques does not guarantee success for all; what works for one person or audience may not resonate with another.
- The emphasis on authenticity may overlook the reality that some environments or industries reward conformity or specific behaviors over individuality.
- Encouraging everyone to "shine brightly" and refuse to shrink may unintentionally pressure individuals who are introverted or prefer a lower profile.
- The focus on self-advocacy assumes a level of confidence and privilege that not all individuals possess or can safely express, particularly in marginalized or high-risk contexts.
Actionables
- you can create a daily micro-gratitude ritual by sending a quick thank-you text or voice note to someone you interact with during routine frustrations, like a barista or a rideshare driver, to shift both your mindset and theirs in real time.
- a practical way to reinforce self-acceptance is to record yourself reading a short passage or telling a story once a week, then listen back and jot down one thing you appreciate about your delivery, gradually building comfort and confidence with your authentic voice.
- you can practice self-advocacy by keeping a running list of your recent wins or positive feedback in your phone, and reviewing it before situations where you need to speak up for yourself, like meetings or interviews, to boost your confidence and help you present your strengths without hesitation.
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Choosing Gratitude and Positivity In Challenges
Adopting gratitude and positivity transforms the way we experience and navigate difficult moments, as Heather's travels to Dallas demonstrate.
Adopting Daily Gratitude Transforms how We Navigate Challenges
Before Dallas, Heather Chose Joy and Gratitude Over Stress and Negativity
Knowing she had to fly to Dallas and back in one day, with reports of major travel disruptions and chaos looming, Heather made a conscious commitment before leaving home. She told herself that no matter what, her approach would center on gratitude and finding joy throughout the day. Anticipating crowded airports and inevitable hiccups, she set her mindset to embrace whatever the day brought, focusing on being grateful and remaining positive instead of giving in to stress and negativity.
Choosing Gratitude At the Airport Amid Long Lines and Shortages, She Stayed Composed While Others Complained
Upon arriving at the airport, Heather was met with extremely long lines and an atmosphere tense with frustration, worsened by holiday travel and COVID-related staffing shortages. While the crowds around her descended into complaints and negative chatter, Heather stood by her commitment, remaining calm and grateful. Instead of joining in the chorus of complaints, she stayed focused on composure and positivity.
Spread Positivity To Soothe Stressed Individuals and Create Connections
Heather's Gratitude Transforms a Frustrated TSA Agent's Mood
When Heather reached the TSA checkpoint, she encountered an agent made grumpy by the morning’s stress. Remembering her promise to find and create moments of joy, Heather greeted the agent warmly and tried to make her smile. After joking about her own upbeat attitude, the agent lightened up, remarking on Heather’s broad smile in her license photo and teasing her to match it in real life. The exchange led to wholehearted laughter, lifting the agent’s mood and creating a moment of shared positivity.
Choosing Joy Over Collective Complaints Creates Connection
While others in line were sullen and complaining, Heather and the previously frustrated TSA agent laughed together, offering a striking contrast to the prevailing negativity. Their joyful moment created a brief connection, demonstrating how positivity can stand out and create warmth even in highly stressful environments.
Gratitude Shields Against Others' Negativity and Complaints
Passenger Complains About Delays; Heather Stays Positive
During boarding, when a passenger began loudly blaming the flight attendants and trying to draw others into her complaints, Heather deliberately disengaged. She simply smiled, looked away, and consciously chose not to echo the negativity or get drawn in.
Heather Shielded Herself From Negativity, Maintaining Her Day As Positive and Manageable
Heather reminded herself not to let anyone or anything take away ...
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Choosing Gratitude and Positivity In Challenges
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While adopting gratitude and positivity can help individuals cope with stress, it may not be effective for everyone, especially those experiencing severe anxiety or mental health challenges.
- Focusing solely on positivity might lead to suppressing or ignoring legitimate negative emotions, which can be unhealthy in the long term.
- External factors, such as systemic issues or unavoidable disruptions, may not be mitigated by individual attitude alone.
- Encouraging people to always remain positive could inadvertently invalidate the real frustrations and struggles of others in difficult situations.
- The narrative suggests a direct link between Heather’s attitude and her smooth travel experience, but positive thinking does not guarantee favorable outcomes.
- Some people may find that expressing frustration or sharing complaints with others provides a sense ...
Actionables
- you can create a gratitude interruption routine for stressful environments by setting a recurring phone reminder to pause, look around, and silently identify three things you appreciate about the current moment, even if they’re small (like a comfortable chair, a friendly face, or a working air conditioner); this helps shift your focus away from negativity and primes you to interact more positively with others.
- a practical way to spread positivity in tense situations is to carry a small stack of blank cards and write quick, sincere notes of appreciation or encouragement to people you encounter who seem stressed or are helping others (like a cashier, security guard, or fellow traveler); handing out these notes can uplift both you and the recipient, creating a ripple effect of warmth.
- you can use a visual cue, such ...
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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Insecurity Through Exposure and Feedback
Heather Monahan’s experience demonstrates how repeated exposure and external feedback can transform insecurities into strengths. By engaging with her perceived flaws through new challenges and accepting positive reinforcement, she learned to see herself through a kinder, more objective lens.
Transforming Voice and Ability Discomfort Through Exposure and Reinforcement
Heather Disliked Her Voice but Narrating Her First Audiobook With a Supportive Producer Changed Her Perspective
Heather Monahan admits she never liked her own voice, often cringing when she heard it on recordings or playback. When it came time to narrate her own audiobook, she was uncertain whether she was qualified to be the voice on the project. Recording with Scotty, a supportive friend from her radio career, helped ease her nerves. His positive presence made the process comfortable, allowing Heather to complete the narration. She ultimately felt proud of the finished audiobook and her performance.
A Compliment at a Book Signing Helped Heather Accept Her Voice As Good
A few months after her audiobook’s release, an attendee at an event at the Four Seasons of Miami approached Heather. The woman offered unexpected praise: “You have the most beautiful voice, Heather. I just wanted to tell you, I love listening to it.” This sincere compliment prompted Heather to reconsider her negative view. Choosing gratitude, she allowed herself to accept the new perspective and began to see her voice differently.
Engaging With Work and Feedback Builds Confidence and Eliminates Self-Criticism
From Annoyance to Acceptance: Heather’s Journey With Her Own Voice
Following the compliment, Heather launched her podcast, exposing herself repeatedly to the sound of her own voice and sharing her recordings on social media. Hearing her voice frequently, both during editing and when others shared her content, shifted her reaction from discomfort to neutrality, then to genuine appreciation. As she put herself out there more, her initial self-doubt faded away.
Exposure and Positive Feedback Normalized Her Voice and Disproved Her Self-Doubt
Heather explains that self-acceptance grew not from internal reasoning, but from the process of hearing her voice over and over, normalizing it, and receiving ongoing positive feedback from her audience. Repeated exposure weakened her self-criticism and bolstered her confidence as she adopted the perspective of listeners who genuinely appreciated what she had once disliked. This experience led her to advise others to try viewing themselves through the positive lens that outsiders might use.
Inspiration and Confidence From Others' Innovative Approaches
H ...
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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Insecurity Through Exposure and Feedback
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Counterarguments
- Repeated exposure and external feedback may not always lead to increased confidence; for some individuals, it can reinforce negative self-perceptions or increase anxiety, especially if feedback is inconsistent or negative.
- Not everyone responds positively to external validation; some people may require internal validation or self-acceptance that is not dependent on others’ opinions.
- The process described may not be effective for individuals with deeper-rooted insecurities or clinical issues such as social anxiety or body dysmorphia, where professional intervention might be necessary.
- Positive feedback from others can sometimes be perceived as insincere or patronizing, which may not help and could even worsen self-doubt.
- The narrative focuses on a specific personal experience, which may not be universally applicable; different personalities and cultural backgrounds may respond differently to exposure and feedback.
- Relying on external feedback for ...
Actionables
- you can record short daily voice memos about your day and send them to a trusted friend, asking for honest feedback on your tone and delivery, which helps you get used to hearing your own voice and normalizes receiving positive input from others.
- a practical way to challenge discomfort with a perceived flaw is to set a weekly “spotlight” challenge, where you intentionally share something related to that insecurity (like a selfie, a voice note, or a written reflection) in a small, supportive group chat, then reflect on the responses and you ...
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Authenticity: Importance Of Being Yourself Over Faking It
Peer Advice Confirms That Authenticity Is Key To Achieving Goals and Connecting With Opportunities
Heather Monahan reaches out to her author friend, Kendra Hall, for advice before auditioning to narrate her own audiobook for Harper Collins. Kendra has already succeeded in this space and her advice to Heather is simple: “just be you.” This guidance tells Heather not to fake her approach or overthink her strategy, but to focus on being authentic. Kendra’s message reassures Heather that being herself gives her a real chance—if things don’t work out, it simply isn’t the right fit. The positive nature of this advice redirects Heather from overthinking and complicated strategies, emphasizing authenticity as her biggest asset.
Show Up Authentically: Accept Not Everyone Is Your Audience
Kendra reinforces that if you show up as yourself and someone doesn’t like you, that audience simply isn’t for you. Her advice is clear: be yourself; those who dislike you aren’t your people. This viewpoint helps Heather understand that authenticity is about attracting the right fit, not trying to please everyone. It’s more important to connect with those who genuinely appreciate your real self.
Authenticity Combined With Confident Execution Resonates With Decision-Makers and Audiences
Heather's Enthusiastic Audiobook ...
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Authenticity: Importance Of Being Yourself Over Faking It
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Counterarguments
- In some professional or social contexts, adapting one’s behavior or presentation style (rather than being fully authentic) can be necessary to meet expectations or achieve desired outcomes.
- Authenticity may not always be valued or rewarded in environments that prioritize conformity, hierarchy, or specific cultural norms.
- Overemphasizing authenticity could lead to disregarding constructive feedback or the need for personal growth and adaptation.
- Not everyone has the privilege or safety to be fully authentic in all situations, especially in workplaces or communities where certain identities or viewpoints are marginalized.
- Confident ...
Actionables
- you can record a short daily voice memo where you describe a recent situation in which you acted naturally and honestly, then note how it felt and what outcomes followed, helping you spot patterns where authenticity leads to positive results or reveals mismatches
- For example, after a meeting or social interaction, reflect on whether you spoke your mind or held back, and track how people responded over time.
- a practical way to attract the right people is to write a personal “about me” statement that highlights your quirks, values, and interests, then share it in places where you seek new connections or opportunities
- For instance, update your social media bios or online profiles with details that genuinely reflect your personality, such as your favorite unusual hobby or a belief you hold strongly, to see who resonates and reaches out.
- you can practice confident ...
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Empowerment: Shine Your Light, Don't Dim For Others
Heather Monahan emphasizes the importance of embracing one's true self and not diminishing personal strengths or achievements to make others comfortable.
Dimming Your Authenticity or Presence to Comfort Others Harms You and the World
Heather shares her own experience of dimming her light in hopes that it might make someone else feel better about themselves. She now recognizes this was a mistake, asserting that it is never the right move to lessen one’s presence or accomplishments. Heather acknowledges the societal messaging that often urges women, in particular, to shrink themselves in certain contexts or relationships, but insists on resisting that pressure. Instead, stepping into authenticity and refusing to shrink is essential, especially in areas where one has already outgrown self-imposed limitations.
The World Needs Individuals Ready to Embrace Their Power and Potential
Heather underscores that the world urgently needs people willing to shine brightly. In a time filled with negativity, divisiveness, and separation, she believes an increase in positivity and inspiration is vital. When individuals amplify their own light and express their fullest selves, it serves not only their own fulfillment but also inspires and uplifts others. She expresses her appreciation for anyone willing to be a little brighter, as does the rest of the world.
Refusing to Dim Your Light Needs Only Your Commitme ...
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Empowerment: Shine Your Light, Don't Dim For Others
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Clarifications
- "Dimming your light" is a metaphor for downplaying your talents, opinions, or achievements to avoid standing out or making others uncomfortable. In everyday behavior, it might look like staying silent in meetings, not pursuing goals, or hiding your true personality. This often happens due to fear of judgment, rejection, or social pressure. The metaphor encourages embracing and expressing your full potential instead of minimizing yourself.
- Women often face societal pressures to "shrink themselves" through expectations to be modest, agreeable, and less assertive to avoid intimidating others. This can manifest as downplaying achievements, avoiding leadership roles, or minimizing opinions in professional and social settings. Media and cultural norms frequently reinforce these behaviors by valuing women primarily for appearance or nurturing roles rather than ambition or power. Such pressures limit women's opportunities and contribute to systemic gender inequality.
- "Outgrowing self-imposed limitations" means recognizing when your fears, doubts, or beliefs about what you can do no longer apply. These limitations often stem from past experiences, societal expectations, or internalized criticism. Identifying them involves reflecting on areas where you feel held back despite having the skills or readiness to move forward. Growth is shown by feeling constrained by old beliefs that no longer fit your current abilities or goals.
- "Stepping into authenticity" means embracing and expressing your true thoughts, feelings, and values without pretending to be someone else. It involves making choices aligned with your genuine self rather than conforming to others' expectations. Practically, this can include speaking honestly, pursuing passions, and setting boundaries that honor your needs. It requires self-awareness and courage to be vulnerable and genuine in interactions.
- When individuals refuse to dim their light, they model confidence and authenticity, encouraging others to do the same. This creates a ripple effect, fostering a culture of empowerment and courage. It challenges soci ...
Counterarguments
- While embracing one's true self is valuable, constantly "shining your light" may unintentionally overshadow or alienate others, especially in collaborative or team settings where humility and listening are also important.
- There are situations where moderating one's presence or achievements can foster group harmony, empathy, or support for others who may be struggling, which can be beneficial in certain social or professional contexts.
- The idea of never diminishing oneself may not account for cultural differences, as some cultures value modesty, collective achievement, or deference over individual boldness.
- Encouraging everyone to always be bold and expansive may not consider individual differences in personality, such as introversion, or the comfort levels of those who prefer a quieter approach to life.
- The focus on self-fulfillment and personal ambition may inadvertently downplay the importance of compromise, cooperation, or prioritizing the needs of oth ...
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Being Your Own Biggest Advocate and Champion
Heather Monahan’s experience narrating her audiobook for Harper Collins highlights the necessity of self-advocacy and championing one’s own abilities in order to inspire confidence and achieve recognition.
Believe In Yourself to Inspire Others
Heather recalls being asked by Harper Collins leadership to audition for the narration of her second book, "Overcome Your Villains." At first, she questioned her qualifications and thought the opportunity seemed "so incredibly crazy." Despite nervousness, she believed deeply that her voice was good enough and recognized that she needed to be her own biggest cheerleader. Heather understood that to succeed in the audition, she had to become her own biggest fan and advocate, showing up in a real and powerful way and making a compelling case for why she should be chosen as the narrator.
Her confidence in her voice and presentation shined during the audition. Harper Collins ultimately selected Heather over other narrators, validating her belief in herself and her willingness to advocate for her own strengths.
Advocate For Yourself: Showcase Your Strengths and Value
Heather’s story emphasizes that advocating for yourself is essential. During her audiobook audition, she showcased her strengths and the unique value her voice could bring. She describes presenting her audition as “fire,” confidently asserting that both Harper Collins and listeners would love it. Heather acknowledges that despite feeling nervous, her passionate audition and faith in herself led ...
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Being Your Own Biggest Advocate and Champion
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Self-advocacy alone may not be sufficient for success; systemic barriers, biases, or lack of access to opportunities can limit outcomes regardless of confidence or self-promotion.
- Not everyone is comfortable or skilled at self-promotion, and some cultures or personalities value humility over self-advocacy, which can make this approach less universally applicable.
- Overemphasis on self-advocacy may inadvertently dismiss the importance of mentorship, collaboration, or external support in achieving recognition and success.
- Constant self-championing can be perceived as arrogance or self-centeredness, potentially alienating colleagues or audiences.
- Some individuals may face negative consequence ...
Actionables
- you can create a weekly “brag file” by jotting down your small wins and positive feedback in a dedicated notebook or digital note, then review it before important meetings or conversations to boost your confidence and help you clearly articulate your strengths when opportunities arise
- (for example, write down when you solved a tricky problem at work, received a compliment from a colleague, or finished a challenging task—then use these notes to remind yourself of your value and speak up about your achievements when needed)
- a practical way to champion yourself is to set a recurring reminder to share one recent accomplishment or skill with a friend, mentor, or peer each week, making self-advocacy a habit rather than a rare event
- (for example, text a friend about a project you completed, mention a new skill you learned during a catch-up call, or email a mentor about a milestone you reached—this regular practice helps you get comfortable voicing your value)
- you can practice authentic self-presentation by recording a short video of yo ...
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