Confidence Classic: The Art of CONNECTION (Why Serving First Changes Everything) with Jordan Montgomery
In this episode of Creating Confidence, Heather Monahan and Jordan Montgomery explore how building authentic relationships can create opportunities and foster personal growth. The hosts share their experiences with meaningful connections, including Monahan's observations at a Maxwell Leadership event where vulnerability and authenticity strengthened community bonds.
The discussion outlines practical strategies for developing professional relationships, from conducting thorough research before making connections to being specific when offering assistance. Monahan and Montgomery examine the philosophy of selflessly promoting and connecting others, explaining how adding value without expecting immediate returns can lead to unexpected opportunities. The hosts provide examples from their own experiences to demonstrate how genuine generosity in relationship-building can create lasting impact.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Dec 24, 2025 episode of the Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
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1-Page Summary
The Power of Relationships and Proximity
The hosts explore how nurturing genuine connections can lead to transformative experiences and unexpected opportunities. Heather Monahan shares her experience at a Maxwell Leadership event, where she witnessed powerful displays of vulnerability and authenticity that created deep community bonds. She emphasizes how even brief exposure to the right people can elevate one's expectations and perspective on relationships.
Importance of Promoting, Connecting, and Serving Others
The discussion highlights John Maxwell's team's philosophy of selflessly sponsoring leaders to attend events, fostering growth and abundance. Heather Monahan and Jordan Montgomery discuss how promoting others' initiatives and connecting deserving individuals creates value and opportunity. Montgomery suggests regularly asking oneself whom to promote, connect, and serve as a way to develop meaningful relationships and create impact.
Building Relationships: Examples and Strategies
Monahan and Montgomery share practical insights for building strong professional relationships. They emphasize the importance of being specific when offering help, with Monahan suggesting thorough research before making connections. Montgomery explains that expressing heartfelt desire to assist, rather than making casual offers, can transform the impact of outreach.
The hosts discuss how selflessly adding value often leads to unexpected opportunities. Monahan shares how her past engagement with one organization led to a headline speaking opportunity with another company. Montgomery notes that opportunities often come as "echoes" of the value provided to others, emphasizing the importance of genuine generosity without expectation of immediate return.
1-Page Summary
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Counterarguments
- Genuine connections are important, but they are not the only factor that leads to transformative experiences; individual effort and external circumstances also play significant roles.
- While vulnerability and authenticity can create deep bonds, in some professional settings, too much vulnerability may be perceived as unprofessional or may not be appropriate.
- Brief exposure to influential people can be beneficial, but it is not a guarantee of elevated expectations or improved perspectives; personal growth often requires sustained effort and engagement.
- Sponsorship for leadership events is commendable, but it should be noted that not all leadership development opportunities are accessible or affordable for everyone, even with sponsorship.
- Promoting and connecting others is valuable, but it should be balanced with self-promotion and networking to ensure personal career advancement.
- The idea of regularly serving others is noble, but individuals must also set boundaries to avoid overcommitment and burnout.
- Being specific when offering help is useful, but sometimes a general offer can open up a dialogue that leads to identifying how one can best assist.
- Heartfelt offers of assistance are ideal, but even casual offers can sometimes lead to meaningful connections and opportunities.
- Adding value to others' lives is important, but it should not be the only strategy for professional advancement; developing one's own skills and qualifications is equally important.
- While past engagement can lead to new opportunities, it is not a guarantee; sometimes new opportunities require new strategies and networking.
- Opportunities may echo the value provided, but they also often require active pursuit and the ability to recognize and seize them.
- Generosity without expectation is virtuous, but it is also reasonable for professionals to seek mutually beneficial relationships and to have expectations of reciprocity in the long term.
Actionables
- You can deepen your connections by starting a "Kindness Ripple" journal where you document acts of kindness and their outcomes. Each day, perform at least one act of kindness without expecting anything in return, such as sending a thoughtful message to someone in your network or offering your expertise to someone who could benefit from it. Record the act, the recipient's response, and any positive outcomes that occur over time. This practice encourages genuine generosity and helps you see the long-term effects of your actions.
- Enhance your network's value by creating a "Connection Map" that visually represents your professional relationships. On a large poster or digital canvas, draw yourself at the center and add branches for each person you know, with sub-branches for their connections that you're aware of. Use this map to identify individuals who might benefit from knowing each other and actively introduce them, explaining why you think the connection would be mutually beneficial. This proactive approach to networking can lead to transformative experiences for everyone involved.
- Build stronger professional bonds by initiating a monthly "Impact Hour" where you offer your time to assist others in your network with specific challenges. Announce the initiative on your social media or professional platforms, inviting people to book a one-hour slot with you for brainstorming, feedback, or support on a project they're working on. By dedicating time to help others without any strings attached, you foster deeper relationships and demonstrate your commitment to their success.
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The Power of Relationships and Proximity
The hosts discuss the significance of nurturing genuine connections, which they suggest can lead to unexpected opportunities and transformative experiences, fostering growth both personally and professionally.
Genuine Connections Lead To Unexpected Opportunities and Transformative Experiences
The power of vulnerability, authenticity, and being part of a community is evident from a Maxwell Leadership event experience shared by Heather Monahan.
Impactful Experience: Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Community at Maxwell Leadership Event
Heather Monahan describes her participation in a Maxwell leadership event as transformative. She witnessed powerful displays of vulnerability and authenticity, with men openly weeping and discussing their love for their wives, as well as openly talking about God and business. This kind of environment created a community where profound connections were made.
Briefly Surrounding Yourself With the Right People Elevates Expectations and Perspective
Heather emphasized that her time at the Maxwell event and the interaction with the individuals there elevated her expectations and altered her viewpoint on relationships and proximity. She realized how surrounding oneself with the right group of people, even if it's just for a short while at an event, can significantly change one's life.
Developing Meaningful Relationships Unlocks Doors and Creates Impact
Acting in service to others rather than focusing on self-interest is essential in unlocking greater possibilities and creating impact through relationships.
Serve Others, Not Self, to Unlock Greater Possibilities
Chad Johnson, working closely with John Maxwell, exemplified this by inviting leaders to a Maxwell Leadership event to invest in the next generation. The invitation was extended not with the intention of making money but to add value to others’ lives.
Jordan Montgomery echoes this sentiment as he recounts the selflessness of Heather Monahan who offered unexpected kindness and generosity to him and his wife. Monahan took an interest in their lives and businesses, ...
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The Power of Relationships and Proximity
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Counterarguments
- Genuine connections can lead to opportunities, but it's also important to recognize that not all relationships will yield significant benefits, and some may even be detrimental if they are not based on mutual respect and shared values.
- While vulnerability and authenticity can deepen connections, there are contexts where too much vulnerability may be inappropriate or could lead to exploitation if the environment is not safe or if others do not reciprocate with respect.
- The idea that brief interactions with the right people can have a lasting impact might overlook the importance of sustained effort and ongoing relationships in personal and professional development.
- Serving others is a noble approach, but it's also necessary to maintain boundaries and ensure that one's own needs are met; self-care is not inherently selfish and is crucial for long-term effectiveness in helping others.
- The concept of serving without self-interest might not acknowledge the complexity of human motivations, where altruism and self-interest can often be intertwined.
- Thoughtful help is valuable, but it's also important to recognize that not all assistance will be well-received or effe ...
Actionables
- You can deepen your connections by starting a "Kindness Journal" where you record one act of kindness you've done each day without expecting anything in return. This could be as simple as complimenting a colleague, helping a neighbor with groceries, or sending a supportive message to a friend. The act of recording these deeds helps reinforce the behavior and keeps you mindful of opportunities to serve others.
- Create a "Vulnerability Challenge" for yourself where once a week, you share something personal or a challenge you're facing with someone you trust. This could be discussing a fear with a close friend, asking for help when you need it, or admitting a mistake at work. The goal is to practice vulnerability in a safe space, which can then ripple out to create more authentic interactions in other areas of your life.
- Initiate a "Community Skill Swap" where you ...
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Importance Of Promoting, Connecting, and Serving Others
John Maxwell and his team embody a particularly selfless philosophy, sponsoring leaders to attend events with the goal of nurturing abundance and growth—a clear illustration of their commitment to fostering communities and supporting others.
Promoting and Advocating For Others Defines Strong Connectors and Community Builders
Heather Monahan and Montgomery discuss the undervalued art of promotion and advocacy and how it's integral for building communities. The upcoming leadership event organized by John Maxwell is highlighted as an example where promoting others' initiatives is key. Connections made through mutual contacts, like Heather's with Jordan through David Nurse, often lead to reciprocal support, showcasing the significance of celebrating connections' successes. Consistent with these efforts, Monahan exemplifies effective promotion by actively engaging with and endorsing others' content on social media, demonstrating that advocating for others is a manifestation of robust community building.
Connecting People to Create Value and Opportunity
The conversation around building communities continues with the emphasis on meaningful connections. Montgomery lauds Monahan for her ability to connect deserving individuals and to create opportunities for them. He suggests that asking oneself weekly whom to promote, connect, and serve can lead to immense impact and relationship development. This is especially true in events designed to elevate leaders, like the one organized by Maxwell, where CEOs, pro athletes, coaches, and other professionals gather to expand their influence, creating a fertile ground for potent connections and a sharing of resources.
Serve to Add Value, Foster Authentic Relationships
Serving others is characterized as the act of going beyond oneself to create value and develop authentic relationships. Montgomery underscores that serving with the intent of receiving something in return is not genuine service and stresses the importance of authentic gestures without expectation. Monahan shares that her ...
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Importance Of Promoting, Connecting, and Serving Others
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Counterarguments
- While promoting and advocating for others is valuable, it can sometimes lead to a culture of quid pro quo, where individuals may feel pressured to reciprocate favors, which can detract from the authenticity of relationships.
- Leadership events can be beneficial, but they may also create echo chambers where similar ideas are reinforced without sufficient challenge or diversity of thought.
- The effectiveness of social media engagement as a form of promotion can be questioned, as it may sometimes lead to superficial connections that lack depth and real-world impact.
- The idea of serving without expecting anything in return is noble, but it may not always be practical or sustainable, especially for individuals or organizations with limited resources.
- The emphasis on regular promotion and connection might inadvertently pressure individuals to network aggressively, which could lead to burnout or inauthentic relationships.
- While the text promotes inclusivity and opportunity creation, it's important to recognize th ...
Actionables
- Create a "Promotion Pact" with peers where you commit to actively sharing and celebrating each other's work on social media once a week. This could involve a simple agreement with friends or colleagues to take turns highlighting one another's projects, achievements, or contributions, thereby creating a cycle of support and visibility.
- Start a "Connection Journal" to track the people you meet, the value they bring, and how you can serve them without expecting a return. This can be as simple as a notebook or digital document where you jot down names, a few notes about each person's interests or needs, and ideas for how you might help them, such as sharing their work, introducing them to someone else, or giving feedback on their projects.
- Offer a "Skill Swap" on community platforms like Nextdoor or Facebook groups, whe ...
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Building Relationships: Examples and Strategies
Building strong professional relationships is a strategic process that combines expressing one's intentions and values with genuine support and generosity. Monahan and Montgomery discuss valuable insights into this nuanced art.
Streamlining Conversations and Clarifying Intentions Enhances Support
Thoughtfulness and specificity set the foundation for a meaningful connection.
Provide Specific Details to Demonstrate Added Value
Monahan suggests leading with values and bringing clarity on how one can contribute when building support. Being thoughtful about who to connect with involves considering how to add value even before initiating contact—whether that’s on a digital platform like a Zoom call or at live events. Montgomery underscores the power of specificity, advising people to say, "I want to help you in these areas," to make their service feel genuine and to demonstrate serious intention.
Monahan stresses the importance of researching individuals to understand specific ways one can be beneficial to them. She illustrates this with her own example from the Steve Harvey show, where her due diligence enabled her to make meaningful connections swiftly.
Expressing Your Heartfelt Desire to Assist Enhances Outreach Impact
Montgomery explains that when offering help, it's crucial to slow down and ensure that your intention is heartfelt and not merely a "throwaway comment." An approach such as saying "Hey, I really want to help you," and attaching tangible thoughts and sincerity can change the entire trajectory of your outreach.
During an off-air moment, a host expressed a deep desire to assist Monahan, reflecting how heartfelt outreach can significantly touch an individual. Montgomery appreciates Monahan's sincere desire to help in his family's difficult time, emphasizing the positive effect of such genuine gestures.
Promoting, Connecting, and Serving Others Compounds to Create Significant Opportunities and Impact
Selflessly adding value repeatedly opens doors, often leading to a domino effect of opportunities and impactful relationships.
Echoes of Your Value Often Open Unexpected Doors
Montgomery shares that Monahan was approached to headline an event for a company because of the goodwill and relationships she built from past engagements with another organization. Similarly, Monahan helped Barry B's partner without any immediate expectation and found herself connecting with Gary, who she had been hoping to meet. This underscores the principle of serving others without a direct return and how it can lead to unexpected and significant opportunities.
When speaking of Monahan's support for their mutual friend John Gordon, Montgomery highlights the ripple effects of serving others. This concept was p ...
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Building Relationships: Examples and Strategies
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While expressing intentions and values is important, it's also crucial to recognize that building relationships is not always a strategic process; sometimes, the best connections come from spontaneous and organic interactions.
- Specificity is valuable, but there can be a balance; being too specific might limit the scope of a relationship, and some degree of flexibility can be beneficial.
- Researching individuals beforehand is useful, but it can also lead to assumptions that may not align with the person's current needs or interests; it's important to remain open to learning about them in real-time.
- A heartfelt desire to assist is important, but it must be coupled with the capacity to follow through; otherwise, it can lead to disappointment and damage trust.
- The idea of selflessly adding value can be idealistic; in some professional environments, more transactional or reciprocal relationships may be the norm and expected by others.
- The concept of serving others without expecting immediate returns is noble, but it may not always be practical or sustainable, especially for individuals or businesses with limited resources.
- Promoting and serving others is beneficial, but there should be a balance to ensure one's own goals and needs ...
Actionables
- You can create a personalized value proposition card to hand out during networking events, detailing what unique skills or support you can offer to others. This card goes beyond a business card by including a brief statement about your core values and the specific ways you can assist others in their professional journey. For example, if you're skilled in digital marketing, your card might read, "Passionate about storytelling through data-driven marketing. Let's connect if you need insights on engaging your audience effectively."
- Start a 'Generosity Journal' to track your acts of support and the outcomes they lead to, ensuring you're giving without immediate expectations. This journal can be a simple notebook where you jot down the help you've offered each week, such as mentoring a colleague or sharing a contact's business with your network. Over time, you'll be able to reflect on the broader impacts of your generosity and possibly identify patterns in the opportunities that arise from it.
- Implement a 'Five-Minu ...
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