Confidence Classic: Your Energy Defines Your Sexual Chemistry (How to Reignite “The Spark” In Your Relationship) with Ashley Stahl & John Wineland

Understanding the balance and interplay of masculine and feminine energies within individuals is vital, as John Wineland and Heather Monahan discuss the roles these energies play in personal success, business, and intimate relationships.

All Genders Have Masculine and Feminine Energies

John Wineland notes that every person possesses both feminine and masculine energies. These energies drive individuals towards love and freedom. He suggests that the integration of both energies within the self could be a sign of an evolved soul. Heather Monahan adds that balancing these energies is crucial across various dimensions of life.

Balancing Both Energies Is Key to Success in Life, Business, and Relationships

Monahan points out that leaning too heavily on masculine energy might lead to success in business but not necessarily in personal relationships. She discusses learning the value of feminine energy from other successful women like Gina DeVee and Kathy Heller. Monahan also reflects on her personal relationship issues, considering the imbalance of feminine and masculine energies as a possible factor. She argues that success in different aspects of life requires a harmonious balance of both energies.

Masculine Energy Is Associated With Purpose, Presence, Consciousness

Wineland characterizes masculine energy as being associated with consciousness and purpose. He notes that a man focused on his mission is often seeking this energy in various forms, including presence and consciousness. Masculine beings crave energy derived from their purpose, which can be expressed through several avenues such as wealth, creativity, or sexual freedom. Masculine essence is also reflected in the ability to be present and conscious, resembling a deep, steady part of oneself.

Feminine Energy Embodies Love, Pleasure, Devotion

Conversely, feminine essence is driven by love and pleasure. Wineland indicates that feminine beings conduct love, pleasure, and devotion through their bodies, perceived as expressions of love by the masc ...

John Wineland offers clear insights into the difficulties that arise in relationships, stating that issues often stem from a lack of personal responsibility rather than solely the actions of one's partner.

Partners Blamed For Lack of Attraction, Not Personal Responsibility

Improving a Relationship Starts With Self-Reflection

Wineland observes that individuals frequently place responsibility for a lack of attraction on their partners. He believes this evasion of personal responsibility is unwarranted and counterproductive. Instead, Wineland emphasizes the need for self-reflection to enhance any relationship. He suggests partners assess their own behavior, such as if they are wearing sweats to bed or unintentionally bringing masculine energy into interactions, before casting blame elsewhere. He proposes that partners should critique the way they show up in their relationship before deciding to leave.

Owning Full Responsibility Enhances Relationship Improvement

Changing Negative Personal Habits or Communication Styles in the Relationship

Wineland advises partners to share their feelings instead of allowing resentment to transform into negative behaviors, like name-calling. He stresses the importance of taking 100% responsibility for one's part in the state of the relationship and says taking stock of one's actions can clarify issues to address. He encourages individuals to take an inventory of their behaviors—including how they dress for bed, how they criticize their partner, or how they might leak sexual energy to others—and consider altering these to see if the relationship improves.

Men, particula ...

Ashley Stahl and John Wineland delve into the complexities of how issues of trust and resentment within a relationship can influence sexual attraction and intimacy.

Loss of Sexual Attraction Often Stems From Trust Issues

Both experts acknowledge that trust plays a crucial role in maintaining sexual chemistry and connection within a relationship.

Feeling Unsafe to Express Thoughts and Feelings Can Damage Sexual Desire

While John Wineland does not explicitly tie the inability to express thoughts and feelings with sexual desire, Ashley Stahl makes the connection, suggesting that when one feels unsafe to express themselves, it could potentially damage their sexual desire. Wineland suggests the importance of questioning why one does not trust their partner, highlighting that open, honest conversation is vital to tackling underlying issues. Feeling unable to trust one's partner with their life, heart, and body, or feeling uncomfortable surrendering to them sexually, indicates concerning safety issues, which adversely affect sexual desire, he explains.

Resentment and Expectations Can Dim a Relationship's Spark

Ashley Stahl brings to light the role of resentment in the erosion of sexual desire and intimacy, suggesting the creation of a space to clear resentments and restore trust is essential.

Creating a Space To Clear Resentments and Restore Trust Reignites Intimacy

Stahl shares her personal experience of losing trust in a partner over many years, which eroded her will to fight for the relationship and her sexual connection with her former partner. Wineland elaborates on how not trusting a partner to honor one's feelings creates separation and negatively impacts sexual relationships. Stahl also touches upon strategies to build trust, including showing dedication to someone new in a friend's life, showing up when expected, an ...

John Wineland, Ashley Stahl, and Heather Monahan explore how early experiences influence our romantic relationships later in life. The speakers discuss how childhood wounds can shape adult attraction patterns, leading to cycles of unfulfilling relationships or, potentially, opportunities for healing.

"Love at First Sight" Stems From Childhood Programming and Unmet Needs

Attraction to Partners Filling Childhood Gaps

Wineland explains that intense immediate attractions often occur when someone fits into our childhood programming. He cites the work of Harville Hendricks and his wife, who contend that unmet childhood needs lead individuals to seek out partners who can fill those gaps, such as physical affection, praise, unconditional love, or safety. The concept of an "imago match" is introduced by Wineland, which refers to the idea that sexual attraction, especially at the beginning, may be about finding someone who meets a blueprint created by childhood lack, rather than true sexual chemistry.

Recognizing Patterns to Break Cycles of Unfulfilling Relationships

Healing Past Wounds for Mature, Fulfilling Relationships

Wineland and Stahl emphasize the potential for individuals to be drawn to partners who replicate familiar forms of neglect, abandonment, or abuse from childhood, or can be pushed into acting out those patterns. However, Wineland asserts that those who are conscious of these patterns have the opportunity to turn the relationship into a healing experience rather than a re-enactment of past wounds.

The discussion points to ...

John Wineland delves into the intricacies of polyamorous relationships, highlighting how they can often be complex and even harmful if not approached with care and understanding.

Polyamory Driven by Men's Desire For Freedom, Not Women's Need For Intimacy

Wineland suggests that polyamory is often driven by masculine energy, mainly fulfilling men's sexual desires by engaging with multiple partners, each providing different energies. He asserts that while men may be seeking various energies to fill a void, this approach does not serve the needs of women who are attuned to their feminine traits. Women or men in their feminine are searching for consciousness, attention, depth, and presence, which may not align with the concept of sexual freedom frequently associated with masculine energy in polyamorous contexts.

Some Men Use Polyamory As a "Spiritual Weapon" Against Their Partner's Well-Being

Wineland discusses the negative aspects of the practice, where he implies, if not explicitly state, that some men may use polyamory as a "spiritual weapon" against their feminine partners' well-being. He also touches upon the emotional manipulation that can occur within polyamorous dynamics, criticizing men who use a particular kind of spiritual language to fulfill their desires at their partners' expense.

Polyamory Can Work but Often Reactivates Old Wounds and Patterns of Abandonment for Those Seeking Deeper Connection

Successful Polyamory Requires a Strong Container, Clear Boundaries, and the Capacity to Hold Heartbreak

Polyamory can work, suggests Wineland, but it often reactivates ol ...