Confidence Classic: Win the Inner Game and Rise Stronger with Ben Newman
In this episode of Creating Confidence, Ben Newman speaks with host Heather Monahan about how personal adversity can reveal inner strength. Newman shares his experiences with early life challenges, including his parents' divorce and his mother's battle with illness, and explains how these events shaped his understanding of resilience and purpose.
The conversation explores the impact of daily spiritual practices and mentorship on personal growth, with Newman and Monahan discussing their approaches to coaching and development. They address the value of investing in personal growth, drawing from Newman's experience coaching Fortune 500 companies and professional athletes, while emphasizing that meaningful progress can begin before financial investment through consistent daily effort.
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1-Page Summary
Overcoming Adversity and Personal Growth
In Ben Newman's show "The Burn," he explores how adversity can reveal one's deepest strengths. Newman shares his personal story of facing challenges early in life, including his parents' divorce when he was six months old and his mother's battle with a rare muscle disease. Through these experiences, Newman learned that purpose can overcome pain, drawing inspiration from his mother's resilience and determination to "beat the statistics."
The Role of Faith and Mentorship
Newman emphasizes the transformative power of daily spiritual practices, sharing how a morning prayer ritual suggested by John Gordon has guided his life for 14 years. He recounts a meaningful experience finding a brochure about Jesus in his coat pocket, which strengthened his faith in divine guidance. Both Newman and Heather Monahan discuss the crucial role of mentorship in their careers, with Newman maintaining two coaches despite being a coach himself, exemplifying the "iron sharpens iron" approach to personal growth.
Coaching and Consulting For High-Performers
The discussion turns to the importance of investing in personal development. Newman, who coaches Fortune 500 companies and professional athletes, stresses that even the most successful individuals benefit from coaching and mentorship. Monahan shares her experience of making her first significant investment in personal development at age 42, while Newman emphasizes that growth can begin even before financial investment. They both highlight the value of starting small and building gradually, with Newman noting that consistent effort and showing up "every damn day" leads to long-term success.
1-Page Summary
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Counterarguments
- Adversity may reveal strengths, but it can also exacerbate existing vulnerabilities or create new challenges that some individuals may not overcome without additional support.
- While purpose can help overcome pain, it is not a universal solution; some individuals may struggle to find purpose or may find that purpose alone is insufficient to address their pain.
- Drawing inspiration from others' resilience is powerful, but it's important to acknowledge that everyone's capacity for resilience is different and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including social support, mental health, and economic resources.
- Daily spiritual practices may be transformative for some, but they may not resonate with everyone, and other forms of reflection or meditation may be more effective for those with different beliefs or lifestyles.
- The story of finding a brochure about Jesus and interpreting it as divine guidance is a personal experience that may not be convincing to those who are skeptical of signs or who hold different religious beliefs.
- The concept of "iron sharpens iron" in mentorship suggests a mutual benefit, but it's important to ensure that the mentorship relationship is not one-sided and that both parties are indeed benefiting and growing.
- While maintaining multiple coaches may be beneficial, it is not always feasible for everyone due to financial or time constraints, and some individuals may achieve personal growth through self-study or other informal methods.
- The idea that even successful individuals benefit from coaching might be true, but it's also important to recognize that success can be defined in many ways, and not all forms of success necessitate or are enhanced by coaching.
- The notion that growth can begin before financial investment is encouraging, but it's also important to acknowledge that access to quality growth opportunities often does require some level of financial or social capital.
- Starting small and building gradually is a practical approach, but some individuals or situations may require more immediate, significant changes to achieve personal growth.
- Consistent effort and showing up daily is generally good advice, but it's also important to recognize the value of rest, recovery, and balance to prevent burnout and maintain long-term success.
Actionables
- You can identify your strengths by journaling about past challenges and how you overcame them, focusing on the skills and attributes that helped you succeed.
- Keeping a journal where you reflect on difficult situations from your past can help you recognize patterns in your behavior that highlight your strengths. For example, if you consistently find that you're able to stay calm under pressure, this is a strength that can be leveraged in future challenges.
- Start a small, daily practice that aligns with your spiritual or personal beliefs to foster resilience.
- This could be as simple as spending five minutes each morning in quiet reflection or gratitude. You might choose to write down three things you're grateful for every day or spend a few minutes in meditation or prayer, depending on your personal beliefs. The key is consistency and making it a ritual that contributes to your personal growth.
- Seek out a peer mentorship opportunity by partnering with a friend or colleague to provide mutual support and accountability.
- Establish a regular check-in schedule with your mentorship partner, such as a weekly coffee or video call, where you discuss your goals, challenges, and progress. This reciprocal relationship can offer fresh perspectives and encouragement without the need for a formal coaching arrangement. For instance, you might commit to a 30-day challenge where you both work on a specific goal and report back on your experiences and learnings.
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Overcoming Adversity and Personal Growth
Ben Newman and his show "The Burn" are in the spotlight as they emphasize the significance of adversity in revealing one's deepest strengths and fostering personal growth.
Adversity and Challenge Can Reveal One's Greatest Strength
Adversity often acts as a crucible for developing resilience and discovering purpose, as illustrated by personal hardships such as a parent's illness or divorce.
Overcoming a Parent's Illness or Divorce Builds Resilience and Purpose
Ben Newman discusses the challenges he faced growing up. His parents divorced when he was just six months old, and his mother was later diagnosed with a rare muscle disease called amyloidosis. Newman found inspiration in his mother's resilience and her determination to "beat the statistics." Despite needing 24-hour nursing care and facing limited days to live, she made it to the dinner table every evening to engage with her sons.
Newman learned that purpose can overtake pain, and a person can find significant strength when facing challenges. He reflects on how he had to mature rapidly, highlighted by the symbolic moment his mother passed on the pen she used in her journal, urging the continuation of storytelling and perseverance through adversity.
Developing a Mindset to Persevere Through Challenges
A positive outlook is necessary for growth and transformation, while mentors and role models can provide vital encouragement and guidance through life's trials.
Positive Outlook Enables Growth and Transformation
In facing adversity, maintaining a positive mindset enables individuals to push boundaries and grow. When you give your best eve ...
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Overcoming Adversity and Personal Growth
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Adversity can sometimes overwhelm individuals and lead to negative outcomes without proper support and resources.
- Resilience and purpose are not solely the products of adversity; they can also be cultivated in supportive, nurturing environments.
- The idea that purpose can overtake pain may not acknowledge the full complexity of emotional trauma and psychological conditions that require professional treatment.
- A positive outlook, while beneficial, is not a panacea and may not be sufficient for overcoming certain types of challenges, such as systemic issues or mental health disorders.
- The narrative that maintaining a positive mindset always leads to growth may inadvertently blame individuals for circumstances beyond their control.
- The emphasis on mentors and role models may overlook the importance of self-reliance and the ability to find internal motivation and guidance.
- The assert ...
Actionables
- Start a resilience journal to document and reflect on daily challenges and how you address them. By writing down the obstacles you face each day, whether they're small annoyances or significant hurdles, and noting how you respond to them, you'll begin to see patterns in your resilience and identify areas for growth. For example, if you notice you're consistently overcoming work-related stress by taking short walks, you might decide to incorporate more physical activity into your routine to bolster your resilience.
- Create a "strength through adversity" story-sharing group with friends or community members. Organize regular meetups where each person shares a story of a difficult time they've overcome and the strengths they discovered in themselves as a result. This not only fosters a supportive environment but also helps you and others recognize the commonalities in your experiences and the internal strength that emerges from adversity.
- Volunteer for a role that push ...
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The Role of Faith and Mentorship
A conversation with Ben Newman reveals the intertwined relationship between spirituality and professional mentorship in achieving personal growth and success.
The Transformative Power of Faith and Spirituality
Daily Rituals Offer Clarity, Direction, and Purpose Amid Adversity
Ben Newman underscores the significance of a daily prayer ritual in connecting to his inner drive and faith. He recounts how John Gordon influenced him to embrace the habit of starting each day with a prayer: "God, what is my use for your purpose and guide me towards that purpose. Jesus, if you are who you say you are, show me the signs." This ritual, he shares, has brought clarity to his life as a husband, father, and coach for almost 14 years.
Heather Monahan suggests listeners try starting their day with a prayer for a month to witness its impact, expecting it may lead to substantial revelations or opportunities.
Unexplainable "Signs" Can Strengthen Faith in Higher Power's Guidance
Ben Newman shares a serendipitous moment when, after starting his prayer practice, he found a brochure about Jesus in the pocket of his overcoat. This inexplicable discovery made Newman feel a powerful influence of Christ and God, leading him to surrender and strengthening his faith in divine guidance.
The Impact of Mentors and Coaches
Seeking Experienced, Successful Advisors for Invaluable Personal and Professional Growth
Both Newman and Heather Monahan emphasize the crucial role of mentorship in their careers. Newman attributes his capacity to tackle challenges to a variety of support figures including counselors, teachers, and mentors. Earlier in his faith journey, Newman found guidance from John Gordon, who willingly discussed Newman's struggles with faith and di ...
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The Role of Faith and Mentorship
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Counterarguments
- Daily prayer may not resonate with everyone, and some individuals may find clarity and purpose through other practices such as meditation, exercise, or journaling.
- The expectation that prayer will lead to substantial revelations or opportunities might not hold true for all, as experiences of spirituality and its outcomes are subjective and can vary greatly among individuals.
- Attributing unexplainable signs to divine guidance is a matter of personal belief, and skeptics might argue that such events can be coincidences or interpreted through psychological or scientific lenses.
- While mentors can be invaluable, self-reliance and independent problem-solving are also important skills, and over-reliance on mentors could potentially hinder the development of these abilities.
- The idea that mentors are crucial for growth might not account for the fact that some individuals achieve success without traditional mentorship, through self-teaching or alternative learning methods.
- Learn ...
Actionables
- Create a morning reflection journal to explore daily insights and track patterns that may indicate guidance or opportunities. Each morning, spend a few minutes writing down any thoughts, feelings, or events that seem significant or out of the ordinary. Over time, review your entries to identify recurring themes or signs that could be pointing you toward a particular path or decision.
- Develop a mentorship exchange program within your community or workplace where individuals can both offer and seek mentorship. This reciprocal approach ensures that everyone, regardless of their current role or level of expertise, has the opportunity to learn from others and to teach, embodying the "iron sharpens iron" philosop ...
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Coaching and Consulting For High-Performers
Heather Monahan introduces Ben Newman, highlighting his extensive experience in coaching high performers, from Fortune 500 companies to professional athletes, setting the stage for a discussion on the significance of personal and professional growth.
The Importance Of Investing In Oneself
The conversation delves into the concept of investing in oneself as a cornerstone of achieving success.
Coaches and Mentors Unlock Success
Ben Newman acknowledges the integral part that relationships and networks play in reaching higher levels of success, emphasizing the impact of listening to stories like Heather Monahan's to tap into one's inner drive. Newman's own experience as a coach for successful sports teams and individuals implies their role in unlocking potential and achieving success. He shares the lasting influence of his high school coach, underscoring the ever-present nature of mentoring in his life.
Investing In Yourself Boosts Confidence and Catalyzes Success
He stresses the significance of being coached, even for the best in their fields, noting that his own personal development benefits from the honest feedback of the two coaches he works with. Newman advises those who aren't ready to hire a coach to start with an accountability partner to seed their future growth.
Monahan reflects on her empowering experience of making her first significant financial investment in her development at 42 years old and Newman echoes the sentiment, asserting that personal growth can begin even before financial resources are put towards it, bolstering confidence along the way.
The Value Of Starting Small and Building Gradually
The discussion turns to the merits of building experience and success over time.
Gaining Experience Through Unpaid Opportunities Can Lead To Prestigious Roles
Heather Monahan shares her journey of climbing the ranks in the radio business ...
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Coaching and Consulting For High-Performers
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Clarifications
- Investing in oneself involves dedicating time, effort, and resources towards personal and professional development to enhance skills, knowledge, and overall well-being. This can include activities like seeking mentorship, coaching, education, and self-reflection to grow and achieve success. By prioritizing self-improvement, individuals can boost confidence, unlock potential, and pave the way for long-term success in various aspects of life. It's a proactive approach that involves continuous learning, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth.
- Building strong relationships and networks is crucial for success as they provide support, guidance, and opportunities. Connections with mentors, peers, and industry leaders can offer valuable insights and open doors to new possibilities. Networking helps in gaining diverse perspectives, learning from others' experiences, and accessing resources that can aid personal and professional growth. Cultivating meaningful relationships and a robust network can significantly impact one's journey towards achieving success.
- Listening to stories can tap into one's inner drive by providing inspiration, relatability, and a sense of possibility. Stories have the power to evoke emotions, trigger personal reflections, and ignite motivation by showcasing real-life examples of overcoming challenges and achieving success. Through storytelling, individuals can connect with the experiences of others, gaining insights, perspectives, and a renewed sense of purpose that fuels their own aspirations. This process of empathetic engagement with narratives can stimulate self-discovery, resilience, and a deeper understanding of one's own potential.
- Coaching and mentoring involve guidance and support from experienced individuals to help someone reach their full potential. Coaches provide feedback, encouragement, and accountability, while mentors offer wisdom, advice, and a broader perspective. Through this personalized guidance, individuals can enhance their skills, boost their confidence, and achieve greater success in both personal and professional endeavors. Coaching and mentoring relationships often lead to self-discovery, goal achievement, and continuous growth.
- Starting with an accountability partner for personal growth involves teaming up with someone who helps you stay committed to your goals by regularly checking in, providing support, and holding you answerable for your actions. This partnership fosters motivation, consistency, and progress in achieving personal development objectives. It can be a stepping stone before engaging a professional coach and serves as a valuable support system in the journey towards self-improvement. The accountability partner relationship is built on trust, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to growth.
- Investing in personal development involves dedicating resources to improve skills and knowledge, leading to increased self-awareness and growth. As individuals invest in themselves, they acquire new competencies and perspectives, which can enhance their self-esteem and belief in their abilities. This process of continuous learning and self-improvement can gradually build confidence and resilience, empowering individuals to take on challenges and pursue their goals with conviction. This cycle of investment in personal growth and the resulting confidence boost can create a positive feedback loop, reinforcing one's belief in their potential and capacity for success.
- Building experience over time is crucial for success as it allows individuals to develop skills, knowledge, and a track record of achievements. Through consistent effort and learning from various opportunities, individuals can grow professionally and personally. This gradual accumulation of experience helps in gaining ex ...
Counterarguments
- While investing in oneself is important, it's also crucial to recognize that not everyone has the same access to resources or opportunities to make such investments.
- The significance of relationships and networks in achieving success can sometimes overshadow the importance of individual merit and hard work.
- Listening to success stories can be inspiring, but it can also create unrealistic expectations and pressure to emulate someone else's path rather than forging one's own.
- The role of coaches and mentors is valuable, but self-guidance and self-motivation are also critical components of success for many individuals.
- Personal development can sometimes benefit from introspection and self-analysis as much as from external coaching and feedback.
- The suggestion to start with an accountability partner assumes that everyone has access to a reliable and supportive network, which may not be the case for all individuals.
- Financial investments in personal development are not always feasible for everyone, and alternative methods of growth should be acknowledged and valued.
- The idea of starting small and building gradually is sound, but it's also important to recognize that some indivi ...
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