Confidence Classic: Believe in Your Worth FIRST With Heather!
In this episode of Creating Confidence, Heather Monahan shares insights about maintaining composure in challenging workplace situations and the importance of believing in one's worth. She explores how emotional reactions can impact professional relationships and offers practical strategies for managing overwhelming moments, including taking breaks and seeking advice from others.
Monahan discusses the role of faith in navigating uncertainty and provides concrete steps for building confidence. She explains how specific language choices and boundary-setting contribute to self-assurance, and demonstrates ways to foster confidence in others through genuine support and celebration of successes. Drawing from her experiences in both personal and professional settings, Monahan illustrates how surrendering control and maintaining an open mindset can transform challenges into opportunities for growth.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Sep 24, 2025 episode of the Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
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1-Page Summary
Dealing With Challenging Situations and Finding Solutions
Heather Monahan discusses the importance of maintaining composure in challenging workplace situations. She explains how losing one's temper can damage professional relationships and reputations, advising listeners to take breaks when feeling overwhelmed. Through personal anecdotes, she illustrates how seeking advice and maintaining an open mindset can lead to unexpected solutions, from discovering cleaning products to implementing better self-care practices.
Relying On Faith and Letting Go Of Control
Drawing from her experiences selling her condo and delivering speeches, Monahan shares insights about surrendering control to a higher power. She describes how turning to faith during uncertain times can transform challenging situations into opportunities for growth. Taking inspiration from Oprah Winfrey, who attributes her success to surrendering to God's plan, Monahan advocates for embracing uncertainty with trust rather than fear.
Building Confidence and Encouraging Others
Monahan provides practical advice for building and modeling confidence. She recommends eliminating disempowering language, such as excessive use of phrases like "I feel" and "like," and encourages setting boundaries by avoiding automatic "yes" responses. Through examples of supporting her son and championing others' ideas in the workplace, Monahan demonstrates how celebrating successes and providing genuine support can foster a collaborative environment and build confidence in others.
1-Page Summary
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Counterarguments
- While maintaining composure is generally advisable, there are situations where showing emotion can be authentic and foster human connection.
- Taking breaks is important, but in some high-pressure situations, immediate action may be necessary, and breaks may not be feasible.
- Seeking advice is valuable, but it's also important to trust one's own instincts and sometimes rely on personal judgment.
- Surrendering to a higher power may not resonate with everyone, especially those with different religious beliefs or who are non-religious.
- Embracing uncertainty with trust can be beneficial, but it's also important to have strategies for risk management and contingency planning.
- Building confidence by eliminating certain phrases might help, but it's also important to ensure that communication remains authentic and that individuals don't lose their unique voice.
- Setting boundaries is crucial, but there's also value in being flexible and saying "yes" to opportunities that may lead to growth.
- Celebrating successes is important, but it's also necessary to address and learn from failures to ensure continuous improvement.
- Providing support to others is key in a collaborative environment, but it's also important to encourage independence and self-reliance.
Actionables
- Develop a "composure cue" to maintain professionalism during stressful moments by choosing a physical action, like touching a bracelet or watch, as a reminder to stay calm. This physical cue can serve as a grounding technique, helping you to pause and collect your thoughts before responding in high-pressure situations.
- Create a "solution circle" with peers from different departments or industries to gain diverse perspectives on challenging issues. Meet regularly to discuss professional challenges and brainstorm creative solutions, leveraging the collective experience and outside-the-box thinking of the group.
- Start a "confidence journal" where you document daily actions that required confidence, no matter how small, and reflect on the outcomes. This practice can help you identify patterns in your behavior that contribute to confidence-building and encourage you to set incremental goals for personal and professional growth.
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Dealing With Challenging Situations and Finding Solutions
In the face of workplace stress and personal frustrations, maintaining one's composure and an open mindset can lead to unexpected but much-needed solutions, as Heather Monahan illustrates through personal anecdotes.
Impact Of Losing Control In Challenging Situations
Grace Under Pressure Preserves Relationships and Reputation
The speaker recalls an incident where a team member lost their temper in a meeting, an event that is typically rare in a healthy work environment. This loss of temper caused long-standing issues within the team, sparking multiple side discussions and drastically impacting trust. This highlights the critical importance of remaining composed to avoid damaging one's professional relationships and reputation. The speaker advises taking a deep breath, responding thoughtfully and respectfully, and if necessary, stepping out of a situation to regain control.
Echoing this perspective, Heather Monahan discusses how losing one's temper can have lasting negative impacts. She advises that when feeling out of control, it is better to excuse oneself and take a break. She compares self-discipline, such as controlling one's temper, to teaching children they aren't rewarded for bad behavior.
Identifying Creative Solutions To Unexpected Problems
Advice Seeks Unknown Helpful Resources
After experiencing disappointment and frustration due to her friends making a mess at a party in her new home, Monahan was not only upset with her son but also with her friends for not respecting her space. Upon calling a friend for emotional support and advice, she learned about the "Magic Eraser" for cleaning marks she previously didn't know how to remove. This example illustrates the benefit of seeking advice, which can lead to discovering helpful resources previously unknown.
Open Mindset and New Approaches Lead To Solutions
Monahan encourages staying open to new solutions and actively seeking them out via various sources, from podcasts to books. She speaks to the importance of being proactive and listening to different p ...
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Dealing With Challenging Situations and Finding Solutions
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While maintaining composure is generally seen as beneficial, there are situations where showing emotion can be constructive and humanizing, fostering deeper connections and understanding among team members.
- In some cases, expressing anger or frustration can serve as a catalyst for change, signaling that there are serious issues that need to be addressed.
- Taking a break when feeling out of control might not always be feasible, especially in fast-paced or high-stakes environments where immediate responses are required.
- Seeking advice is valuable, but it can also lead to over-reliance on others' opinions, potentially stifling personal growth and decision-making skills.
- Being open to new solutions is important, but it is also necessary to critically evaluate new information and not adopt new approaches without sufficient evidence of their effectiveness.
- Listening to ...
Actionables
- You can create a "composure code" to follow during stressful moments, which might include a set of personal mantras or actions like counting to ten, visualizing a stop sign, or repeating a calming word to yourself. This personal code acts as a quick-access toolkit to prevent you from losing your temper, much like a fire escape plan for your emotions.
- Develop a "resource radar" habit by setting a monthly reminder to research and bookmark new articles, online forums, or tools related to maintaining professional composure and relationship management. This ensures you're continually exposed to fresh ideas and resources that can help you stay composed and manage relationships effectively.
- Start a "perspective journal" where you ...
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Relying On Faith and Letting Go Of Control
Heather Monahan shares personal experiences that highlight the transformative power of faith and the liberation that comes from surrendering control to a higher power.
Embracing Uncertainty With Trust In a Higher Plan
Surrendering Control To a Greater Vision
Through a series of unexpected events, such as a neighbor advising her to sell her condo which she eventually did despite setbacks, Heather interprets these as signs akin to a "hand from God." During the stressful process, she reached a point where she believed one must "turn it over to a higher power," trusting that the outcome will work out in the best interest for her and her son. This surrendering to a greater vision is echoed in how she approached a speaking engagement, foregoing her usual detailed preparations, trusting in a greater process.
Faith in Positive Outcomes, Despite Unclear Paths
Heather recognizes that if something is meant for her, God’s plan will allow it to unfold without undue difficulty. She refers to a metaphorical meme suggesting God's plan is much greater than one can imagine and is full of miracles. Heather mentions the profound impact of letting go and leading with blind faith, trusting that the right path will reveal itself. Even after losing the chance at a penthouse she loved, she chooses to believe something amazing will present itself, exemplifying her faith in positive outcomes despite unclear paths.
Shifting Perspective From Fear to Possibility
Seeing Challenges As Opportunities For Growth and Transformation
Heather reflects on the stress of selling her condo, including fears about the closing date and sale price, yet chooses to view the experience as an opportunity for growth and transformation. In a similar vein, amidst uncertainty about where to live next, she turns fear into excitement about new possibilities, reinforcing her belief in the transformative power of faith.
She takes inspiration from Oprah Winfrey, who attributes her success to surrendering to a vision greater than herself—God's plan. This mindset prompts Heather to consider that succes ...
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Relying On Faith and Letting Go Of Control
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Heather faced challenges in selling her condo, including stress about the closing date and sale price. Despite setbacks, she interpreted these events as signs guiding her decisions. She viewed the experience as an opportunity for growth and transformation, choosing to embrace uncertainty with trust in a higher plan.
- Heather's pastor plays a significant role in reinforcing the message of moving forward with faith, not sight, and viewing pressure as an opportunity to strengthen one's faith. The pastor's teachings align with Heather's journey of embracing uncertainty and discomfort as avenues for personal growth and transformation. Through the pastor's guidance, Heather finds support and encouragement to navigate challenges with a positive mindset rooted in faith. The pastor's influence underscores the theme of surrendering control and trusting in a higher power throughout Heather's narrative.
- Oprah Winfrey attributes her success to surrendering to a vision greater than herself, often referring to it as God's plan. She believes that by relinquishing control and trus ...
Counterarguments
- The idea that positive outcomes will unfold without undue difficulty if they are meant to be may not always hold true; many worthwhile endeavors require significant effort and struggle.
- Interpreting events as signs from a higher power is subjective and may lead to confirmation bias, where one only notices events that support their belief.
- Surrendering control and relying on faith does not guarantee success; proactive planning and action are often necessary components of achieving goals.
- Embracing uncertainty can be beneficial, but it is also important to have strategies for managing risks and making informed decisions.
- While seeing challenges as opportunities for growth is a positive mindset, it is also valid to acknowledge and address the real difficulties and stresses they present.
- The notion of a higher plan may not resonate with everyone, especially those who do not hold theistic beliefs or who believe in self-determination.
- The idea of letting go of strict control might not be applicable in situations where precise planning and control are critical for success, such as in certain professional or safety-critical environments.
- Encouraging others to embrace uncert ...
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Building Confidence and Encouraging Others
Heather Monahan shares insights on how removing disempowering language and modeling confidence can inspire others and foster collaborative environments.
Empowering Through Shifts in Language and Mindset
Monahan urges the importance of self-belief and the removal of certain phrases that can undermine self-assurance.
Eliminating Disempowering Phrases Can Strengthen Self-Assurance
Monahan cites her own experience with her son, explaining how she bolstered his confidence in driving by reminding him of his past success operating a jet ski. She extends this principle to professional life, recommending the elimination of phrases like "I feel" from conversations to make statements appear more factual and less emotional, thus more powerful. Additionally, she insists on dropping "like" to avoid sounding uneducated, and avoiding the automatic "yes" to prevent being overwhelmed with others' unwanted tasks—encouraging boundary setting instead.
Voicing Disagreement Constructively Can Increase Influence
Using personal experiences, Monahan shares how avoiding disagreement to maintain harmony can be disempowering. She reflects on past instances of withholding better solutions due to fear of conflict. Monahan now advocates for respectfully expressing differing opinions and ensuring that disagreements are known to increase one's influence and to contribute positively to outcomes.
Inspiring Others By Modeling Self-Belief and Resilience
Monahan discusses the importance of support, feedback, and recognizing others' successes to cultivate confidence and a supportive atmosphere.
Support and Feedback Build Confidence
She believes in being her son’s champion—chee ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Building Confidence and Encouraging Others
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Counterarguments
- While removing disempowering language can be beneficial, it's also important to validate emotions in communication; phrases like "I feel" can be crucial for expressing personal experiences and should not always be seen as a weakness.
- Overemphasis on powerful language can sometimes lead to miscommunication or a lack of empathy, as it may not accurately convey the speaker's emotions or uncertainties.
- Automatic agreement is not always negative; in some contexts, it can be a sign of trust, cooperation, or a willingness to be flexible and supportive in a team setting.
- Voicing disagreement, even constructively, can sometimes have unintended negative consequences, such as creating tension or damaging relationships if not handled with care.
- The idea that everyone in our circles should support our growth is idealistic; in reality, people may have competing interests or may not always be able to provide support.
- Being a champion for others is valuable, but it's also important to encourage individua ...
Actionables
- You can practice assertive communication by recording daily conversations and listening for instances of disempowering language. After identifying common phrases you use that weaken your statements, such as "I feel" or "like," work on rephrasing those sentences without those words. For example, instead of saying, "I feel like we should try a new approach," say, "We should try a new approach."
- Develop a habit of pausing before automatically agreeing by using a personal 'three-second rule.' Whenever you're about to agree with someone, count to three silently, and during that time, quickly assess whether you truly agree or if you're just trying to avoid conflict. This brief moment can help you formulate a more authentic response, whether it's agreement, a question for clarification, or a polite disagreement.
- Create a 'success-sharing' ritual with friends or colleagues where you meet regularly ...
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