PDF Summary:You Are A Badass, by Jen Sincero

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Creating a New Life

The good news: Creating a better life requires only one simple shift: Going from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life. Wanting is easy; you can want things while laying in bed or sitting on the couch watching TV. Deciding, however, means jumping in all the way and going after your dreams with, as she puts it, “the tenacity of a dateless cheerleader a week before prom.”

Creating a new life means doing things you never thought you’d do, believing in things you can’t see, and pushing past your fears while you stick to your decision. It will be challenging, but it’s certainly better than living with regret, feeling that your life is passing you by.

This process requires an open mind; you’ll need to roll with some “out-there” methods, but living a life you’ve never lived means doing things you’ve never done. Besides, you got to where you are now by doing what you’re doing, so it’s time to change it up.

This world offers limitless possibilities for you. If you work hard, take some risks, and go for your dream, you can live the kind of life you used to be jealous of.

This book consists of five sections, each with...

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No matter what you think you want, if there’s a subconscious belief that links your desire to pain, you won’t let yourself achieve it, or fully experience the achievement — and you’ll probably lose it.

Having an inhibiting subconscious belief is like being unable to sit on your front porch because there’s a terrible odor. You can try fans or air fresheners, but until you realize there’s something rotting underneath the house, the odor won’t go away. Similarly, if you don’t root out the subconscious belief that’s holding you back, you will remain stuck.

The first step to getting rid of harmful subconscious beliefs is becoming aware of them. To do this, examine the dysfunctional areas of your life and try to hear the stories your subconscious is telling you. These stories could be something like, “Going on a diet means never enjoying a meal again.” Or, “Making money means selling out and doing something I don’t love.”

In later chapters, you’ll learn specific tools to help you dig deeper into your subconscious beliefs and fix what is blocking you from living the life you deserve, freeing space for positive new beliefs. For now, awareness is enough.

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The goal is to raise your vibration and attract wonderful things to your life. You create the reality you desire when you consciously master the energy around you, believe, and stay high frequency.

To raise your vibration, you need two things:

• Belief: Belief is what attracts the magic into your life. You must believe that everything you want is possible. You have to keep believing even when things are at their crappiest; your faith has to be greater than your fear. When you stop believing, it’s akin to waking up from a dream when you realize you can’t actually fly.
• Decisive action: After we align our energy with what we want, we must take decisive action to allow good into our lives. We can’t just tune into a high frequency and expect good things fall into our lap.

Later chapters will delve more deeply into tapping into Source Energy, how to keep belief strong and how to take decisive action. For now, awareness of Source Energy is enough.

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A Hindu fable illustrates this concept perfectly. There was a woman who desired to meet the god Krishna, so she went into the forest to meditate and pray to have Krishna appear. When Krishna came walking down the forest path and tapped her on the shoulder she told him to scram — she was busy meditating about a very important goal.

When we’re so wrapped up in our own heads, we miss out on what’s available to us right now in the present. When you’re present in the moment, you are connected to Source Energy.

Of course, we’re adults who have understand the past and plan for the future. Occasional side trips to the past and future are necessary, but when we obsess over what-ifs and how-comes, we lose the power of the present.

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While some people may be doing this out of love and concern, this fear and worry is the last thing you need when trying to take risks. You have enough to deal when facing your own fears, let alone dealing with the negativity of others. To counter this, it’s vital to surround yourself with others who are also trying to take risks, people who you know will be supportive.

When you try to break out of your comfort zone, you also face internal obstacles created by your own Ego (BS). The author likens the BS to an “overprotective Italian mother” who wants you to live at home forever. There may be good intentions, but it's completely fear-based.

Breaking away from your Ego’s fear-based beliefs is like quitting smoking or taking drugs — you’ll have to detox and go through withdrawals — and ridding yourself of limiting subconscious beliefs means facing a detox of huge proportions.

This “detox” can manifest in both internal and external factors as the BS creates chaos to self-sabotage and keep everything status quo.

In other words, since we create our own reality, when we try to break free it can feel like The Universe is conspiring against us — computers crashing, trees falling...

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The reality is, as the author puts it, “You are a badass.” It is how you were born, who you are, and what you’ll always be. The Universe loves you unconditionally and wants to give you everything you desire, including happiness. It wants you to see in yourself what it sees in you.

You are perfectly imperfect and it’s your job to love yourself and laugh at yourself.

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Use affirmations: Affirmations are a powerful tool to rewire your brain and train it to think differently. Figure out which affirmations you need to hear most and repeat them in your head; put them on Post-It notes all around you, and write them down 10 times every morning and 10 times every night. Some examples include:

• “I deserve and receive love every day.”
• “My heart is open to love.”
• “I am beautiful and smart.”

If these don’t fit, write your own affirmations. The more emotion you feel, the better.

Do what you love. People who make enjoying their lives a priority are the ones truly enjoying their lives. Look at your life and see where you’re letting yourself down. Do you miss live music? Dancing? Hanging with friends? Be proactive about creating a life you love instead of living a life you think you’re stuck with. Start putting your needs on the priority list. You’re not selfish for taking care of yourself, just happier!

Replace negative thoughts. When we become aware of our negative thought patterns we can begin to change them. For example, what comes to mind when you look in the mirror? When you make a mistake? When you get dumped? You likely...

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For example, if people have been telling you all your life that you have a quick temper, that they’re afraid of being open with you because you’ll blow up, ask yourself if this is true. Can you use this information to improve yourself?

Same thing with compliments. If you hear something about yourself repeatedly, ask yourself if it’s true and if you can use this to better yourself and the lives of others. For example, if you’re repeatedly told you’re a great listener, ask yourself, is this true? If so, can I use this skill to improve my life and the lives of others?

How to Stop Caring What Other People Think

When you truly stop caring what other people think, you become your most powerful self. Not caring what others think is a muscle and it will take some time to build it up. Here’s how:

Ask yourself, “why?” When you’re about to say or do something, ask yourself why? Is it to be liked? Is it to put someone down due to your own insecurity? Is it out of revenge? Or is what I want to do or say coming from a place of truth and strength? Pay attention to your motivations and be honest. Always come from a place of integrity.

Do your best. The fastest way to fall...

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For example, the author was also at one point trying to find her purpose. She knew it involved writing, but also knew she needed to interact with people. When a friend suggested that she attend a women’s entrepreneurial think tank group, she went even though she had no entrepreneurial ideas to build on. After watching the women turn ideas into businesses in a few weeks, she knew what she wanted to do. She began leading these groups herself, then became a coach and author.

Do your best where you are. After you take a step, you may not immediately be in your dream job. Consider it a stepping stone and appreciate it. Everything you do along your journey contributes to where you’re going. Having a good attitude and being grateful for all the things helping you live the life of your dreams will make things more pleasant, raise your frequency, and attract people and opportunities that will take you in the right direction.

For example, say you’re a budding rock star currently waiting tables to make ends meet. Serving soup may not be your dream, but it’s helping you achieve that dream. Be grateful and do your best, confident that everything you need is coming your...

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He didn't worry about what he should be doing or what he was missing or what anyone thought of his loincloth. He was simply happy being true to himself, in that moment, in the middle of nowhere. He exemplifies “loving yourself,” no matter who you really are.

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Meditation Suggestions

These ideas may prove helpful as you learn to practice meditation.

• Set a timer so as not to distract yourself by checking a clock.
• Light a candle and focus on it. A focal point can help you get centered.
• Imagine a beam of light coming from the sky and going through you from your head through your entire body, then back up to the sky again (full circle). This can help you feel more energy and light and more deeply connect you to Source Energy.
• Use a mantra. This can help you chase out unwelcome thoughts.
• Do it first thing in the morning. The day’s activities can distract you.
• Set an intention. Meditating is about receiving information from The Universe, as opposed to prayer, which is sending information out to The Universe. You can start with your intention and see if any answers come to you while you meditate. Or you can meditate first, opening up the channels and clearing out the chatter; then ask your question and see if anything comes to you.
• Consider guided meditation. Many books and videos are out there aiming to walk you through meditation. These can be helpful when you’re just starting out and having trouble...

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Make a vision board. Feeding your mind the images of the things and experiences you want to manifest is powerful; your mind sends those images to Source Energy, which begins the manifestation process. Paste pictures of people, places, things and experiences you want onto a board; hang it where you can see it.

Surround yourself with support. Hanging around with bleak whiners will drag you down. To keep yourself in a positive headspace, find people who see limitless possibility as their reality. Find people who act on their big ideas. If you don’t know anybody like this, make new friends.

Love yourself.

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Find what makes you lose track of time. Think about those times you’ve completely lost track of time because you were so immersed in something. When you lose track of time like that, you’ve entered the Vortex (Source Energy). Since you want to be in the Vortex as much as possible, figure out what gets you there. How can you be doing more of those things? How can you do less of the things that don’t immerse you?

Let the Beginner live alongside the Expert. Continue to hone your skills and take your craft seriously, but don’t lose the fun in the process.

Love yourself.

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• Give something away. Give one of your favorite things in the world away to someone who would love it. If possible, do it without them knowing where it came from.
• Leave a dollar more than you normally would every time you tip.
• If someone is being snarky, respond with love instead of more snarkiness.
• Smile, compliment, and make people laugh as much as possible.
• Say yes to offers you’d usually say no to out of fear of inconveniencing the other person. This gives them a chance to give to you.
• Feel how good it feels when you give and receive; raise your frequency and expect more good to come your way.
• Love yourself.

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Gratitude and Faith

Gratitude strengthens faith. Faith is believing in what you can’t yet see. Faith is what allows you to leave your comfort zone and change your present reality. Faith destroys fear and allows you to take risks. A consistent state of gratitude makes it easier to believe that more good things are out there for you — you’ve received good things before, so it’s easier to believe more is coming.

Having faith means being grateful for what you don’t have yet. When you have unwavering faith and unwavering gratitude, your ability to manifest magnifies. When you’re grateful for that which you haven’t yet received, you’re telling the Universe you know it already exists, putting you at the right frequency to receive it.

Sincero uses the example of always being able to find a good parking space. She approaches parking with a knowing, relaxed and grateful attitude that the perfect spot is already hers. Inevitably, she gets a good spot and receives it with excitement and more gratitude, never taking it for granted.

Tips on Practicing Gratitude

Find the good in any situation. Be grateful, look for the good, and learn. No matter what is going on,...

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Be happy instead of right. Even if the other person in a challenging situation handled things poorly, instead of holding on to anger for days, it’s better to let it go. Ask yourself, what do I have to think or do right now to be happy? The answer may be, “Let her think she’s right.”

Look at the situation from different angles: When you look at a situation from another perspective and let go of your “my way or the highway” tendencies, resentment dies down. Yours is not the only perspective, and your perception is limited.

For example, imagine a friend doesn’t text you back. You wonder if she’s angry, then you may spin out into resentment, thinking, What’s her problem!? In reality there are a million reasons she didn’t text back. She may have just dropped her phone in a toilet.

When you’re inquisitive about a situation, you set yourself up to forgive another person more easily because you realize it’s about you, not them; you become wise to some of your less-than-enlightened qualities. You could be one question away from being happy. For example, you could ask, “Why am I freaking out over something I have no proof of?”

Get it out of your system. Beat a pillow,...

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Here’s what India taught Sincero about tapping into the “Mother Lode”:

• Talk to strangers — we’re all family.
• Expect the unexpected — and enjoy it.
• Find the humor in a situation.
• Join the party.
• Live in the moment.
• Time spent enjoying yourself is never wasted.
• Share your space.
• Love yourself.

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Know what your self-sabotaging stories are. Before you can let go of your stories, you have to understand what they are. What do you hear yourself saying over and over? To figure out the lies you’ve been telling yourself, think about how you’d finish these phrases: I always …, I never …, I can’t … I should …, I suck at …, I wish …, I don’t have ..., I’m trying to...

Another way to figure out your stories is to look at areas of life where you’re lacking. For example, if you’re overweight, your story could be, “I have no discipline.”

Understand what you’re gaining from your self-sabotaging stories. If you’re perpetuating some negative story about yourself, you’re getting something out of it. When you identity the false benefits you’re reaping from holding onto your stories, you can start letting them go and replace them with new, empowered stories that serve you as an adult.

For example, if your story is that you suck at relationships, the benefit may be that you don’t have to commit or risk getting hurt; you don’t have to compromise or share.

Lose the self-defeating, childhood stories and replace them with new, powerful stories. You get to reinvent your story as...

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Pinpoint your stopping points. When you’re working on something, what’s your roadblock? What causes you to stop? Pinpoint the moment you tell yourself “I’m out.” It could be when you have to make phone calls, or commit, or figure out how to make money, or even get out of bed. When you understand the exact moment that stops you in your tracks, you can prepare yourself for the roadblock. For example, if you are trying to become a paid speaker, and you realize that when you have to sit down and make calls to try to book yourself a gig you find yourself immersed in social media, you can turn off your Internet or go someplace you can’t get online. Eliminate the distraction.

Make a bet with someone who’ll hold you accountable. If you make a bet that you’ll do something with someone who’ll show you no mercy, your self-discipline kicks up a notch. Bet something that’s painful to lose but not too unrealistic. For example, you can bet someone $1000 you’ll write your first book chapter by a certain date. Write out the check, including payment date, and keep it nearby as a reminder.

Own it. Figure out how much time you really need to get the job done, go have fun, and get...

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This idea of breaking things down works for time, too. For example, if you are building a website, rather than dedicating a whole day to the job, work in hour-long chunks where you can’t eat, walk around, or check texts. Once the hour is up you can take a break and do whatever you want.

I Have Too Much to Do

When you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list, thinking you have way too much to do, try these strategies:

Stop talking about how busy you are. Instead of feeling weighed down by all you have to do, focus on what you enjoy about what you do. Understand you have a life full of interesting projects and communicate that to the world and yourself.

Get help. An outside perspective can help direct us where to go next or what to do next when we’re confused. Make sure you seek this advice from someone who knows what they’re doing. Think about hiring a business coach or clutter consultant, or talk to a trusted friend.

Prioritize and delegate. We often think we have to handle it all, or that the world will fall apart if we don’t do everything. So ask yourself, why am I doing all this? Is it all absolutely necessary? Does it have to all be done now? Just like...

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Try a different perspective. When you’re enveloped in fear, try looking at it from a different point of view. Break it down and pinpoint what you’re really afraid of, and then flip it around to make it work for you. For example, say you want to write a book but you can’t get started. Ask yourself why. The answer could be, “I’m scared it will be awful.” So what happens if it’s awful? “I'll be ashamed.” So basically, you’re not writing a book to protect yourself from feeling ashamed and stupid. Then flip this around. How stupid and ashamed will you be if you don’t write your book? Very! By changing your perspective, you can use the fear of not doing the thing you're scared of as fuel.

Be in the moment: Right now, is anything scary happening? Or are thoughts in your head freaking you out? Being afraid before something happens depletes your energy. Instead, stay in the moment and connect to your higher self. In the moments before you step into something scary — asking for a promotion, jumping out of a plane — connect to Source Energy; keep your frequency high and your belief in miracles strong. You’ll find you’re better equipped to deal with the situation and realize...

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For example, you know a person who is a true know-it-all. Anytime anyone shares some knowledge or an anecdote, this person knows more and can upstage and out-talk anyone else on the subject. This person drives you absolutely nuts. If their behavior resonates with you, this is a clue that you should dig deeper and find out why it annoys you so much. Do you secretly fear you are a know-it-all? Or do you harbor secret insecurities that other people think you don’t know anything?

If other people are annoying in a way that doesn’t truly resonate with us, we either don’t notice it or don’t get too worked up about it. For example, if you're 6 feet tall and someone calls you “shorty,” that’s not going to resonate with you. But if they tease you about being bossy, and deep down you always feared you were bossy, this would get under your skin.

Loving Yourself Enough to Stand Up for Yourself

If you’re focused on certain beliefs about who you are, you will attract people who mirror those traits. This is why, when you’re dealing with a toxic person in your life that you should banish, you may have a hard time letting go, finding excuses like, “They’re great deep down.” Maybe...

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If you’re not where you want to be, keep going. Treat yourself like your closest friend and celebrate how awesome you are.

Love yourself while you have the chance.

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Tips on Making a Decision and Going for It

When you decide to go for your goal, you stop listening to your excuses and change your habits. Here’s how to start:

Want it badly. If you don’t truly want it, you’ll quit when things get hard. Pushing through to reach a goal means you’re going to have to work through major obstacles. You can’t just want to do something; you have to be all in and gung ho, believe it’s possible despite any evidence to the contrary, and go for it.

Get good at deciding. Deciding is hard. A fear of making the wrong decision can lead to waffling back and forth, but making decisions too quickly, without proper thought, can backfire. You can end up so afraid of picking one thing and missing out on another that you never end up making any decision — and indecision helps you stay stuck in your comfort zone.

Successful people face their decision-making process head on, not waffling or procrastinating. You can do this too when you decide to become a person who makes quick, smart decisions. You can do little things to build up your decision-making muscle, giving yourself small tests, such as picking something off the menu of a restaurant in under...

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Sometimes our efforts at getting a handle on money end up taking precious time and energy, for example, pinching pennies, clipping coupons, and as the author did, driving 30 blocks to a gas station to save three cents a gallon. So in an effort to make money an inconsequential part of life, you can end up thinking about it more than someone who actually has it.

Rather, we can welcome money into our lives joyfully, treating it like the important and meaningful relationship it is. Wanting and having money is OK — a good thing, not an evil, greedy thing. You can make money and keep your integrity; it’s not an either-or situation.

Like any other relationship, we need to nurture our relationship with money. We do this by observing six rules of wealth consciousness:

• Focus on abundance, not lack.
• Heal your relationship with money.
• Get clear on where you want to be.
• Raise your frequency.
• Put yourself in the best shape possible to make money.
• Love yourself.

Focus on Abundance, Not Lack

Your beliefs hold the key to your financial success. Believe you can have what you want — it already exists — and then go out and get it. When you come from a...

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Still, with a month left before her book was due and finding herself in need of a place to stay on the West coast, she panicked a little. She envisioned a beautiful, sunny house where she’d finish her book, but nothing was available and her emails and text inquiries yielded no offers.

Instead of having faith in The Universe, she felt like she’d blown it and resigned herself to living with her mom. But she caught herself; she was writing a book about not going through life fearful and small-minded, and here she was doing the exact same thing. She got a grip, calmly envisioned her ideal writing space and really felt it in her bones. She surrendered to The Universe and even celebrated the house that was sure to land in her lap.

She sent out one more mass email to ask if anyone knew of a great place, and a friend emailed back that she knew of the perfect situation. She ended up in a big, beautiful house in a great location near friends to finish her book.

How to Surrender

When you are in a state of surrender, you believe everything you desire — and even things beyond your wildest dreams — already exists. Here’s a quick breakdown of how to surrender:

• Be clear on what...

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How do you form a good, new habit? Make it a non-negotiable part of your everyday activities. For accountability, turn to a coach, mentor or friend.

Breathe. It’s not good enough to be connected to Source Energy only when meditating; you want to carry the high-frequency good energy with you all day. You can do this through breathing. In stressful situations — getting yelled at at work, stuck in traffic — take a moment to breathe deeply. This helps you become present in the moment and connect with Source Energy. Making this breathing exercise a habit will help create positive changes, bringing you calm and helping you carry Source Energy with you all day.

Surround yourself with positive, successful people. Who you surround yourself with affects how you see the world and how high you set the bar for yourself. If you hang out with tired, broke, negative whiners, you’ll be pulled down. But if you hang out with people who live with purpose, successfully meeting challenges, you’ll have more incentive to follow suit.

Set honest goals. Discipline is a muscle that you have to build at your own pace or you set yourself up for failure. Set honest goals just outside your...

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Know that you’re powerful, loved and surrounded by miracles. Love yourself — you are a badass!