PDF Summary:The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield

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1. Mark it up. Highlight material that is interesting to you and write notes in the margins. Interacting with the text will help you remember it and solidify principles.
2. Don’t dismiss principles you don’t like. If you’re resistant to a certain principle, it might be a sign that you could benefit from applying it to your life.

While reading, try to:

1. Be mindful of your emotions. You may react positively to the book’s advice, or you may bristle at certain concepts. You might feel resentful or sad that you didn’t learn the information sooner. Whatever your emotions, focus on feeling satisfied that it’s the right time for you to be learning the concepts.
2. Give yourself time to apply the principles. Learning the principles doesn’t mean you can achieve your goals overnight. For example, you couldn’t learn to speak French fluently with just a few months of practice at home. Applying the principles will take time. Even if you hit a wall and don’t feel like you’re making progress, don’t give up—give yourself more time than you think you need, and apply the principles diligently to achieve success.

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Choosing to adjust your response means that you refuse to complain about your circumstances. Generally, complaining is a sign that you have realized you want a different outcome, but you aren’t motivated to make the changes in yourself or your life to achieve it. We often complain to people who have no control over the situation. For example, maybe you’re unhappy with your partner, but instead of having a conversation with them about what you need from them, you complain to a coworker and don’t do anything differently.

If you need help to stop complaining, create a complaining/blaming jar. Every time you complain or blame someone for your circumstances, put $2 into the jar.

Ways to Change Your Behavior

There are three ways to change your behavior:

1. Look for signs that your behavior isn’t going to yield the outcome you want. These warning signs might include:

• Intuition and instinct
• Personal observations
• Observations from those around you

But it’s easy to let these warning signs go unheeded because doing so would make you feel uncomfortable or you don’t want to change. Change is often scary because it involves risks, such as:

• Judgment or...

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5. Complete Canfield’s “Life Purpose Guided Visualization” from his Awakening Power meditation series.

Explore What You Want

When we were babies, we knew what we wanted and acted swiftly, without shame, to get it. For example, if you were hungry, you would cry and be fed. But as you got older, your wants became more complex, and you likely got more negative responses, such as:

• Things cost money.
• Just because you want something doesn’t mean you can have it.
• I need you to do (BLANK) instead of what you want to do.
• Stop being selfish.

Over time, giving up on what you want can lead you to consistently put the needs of others above your own rather than identifying and working toward what you want and need. For example, you might want to be a teacher, but you become a lawyer because it’s what your parents want.

Exercises to Identify What You Want

Try the following exercises to rediscover your wants:

1. Be mindful of your preferences in every situation. When someone asks you what you’d prefer, you might choose to avoid confrontation by saying that you don’t know or don’t have a...

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Example 1: Canfield attended a workshop to learn to walk on hot coals. At the beginning of the workshop, participants wrote out all of the things they didn’t believe they could do on paper, such as, “I can’t be a millionaire,” and “I’ll never meet my soulmate.” They then burned them in a fire as a symbol of letting go of limiting beliefs. Later that day, all the participants walked across burning coals without anyone getting burned.

Example 2: In another instance, a mathematics graduate student at UC Berkeley came late to class and saw two problems on the board that he assumed were the homework assignment for the class. He didn’t know the problems had never been solved in mathematics before. He worked on them over a few days and came up with solutions, surprising his professor. Had he known the problems had never been solved, he wouldn’t have attempted to solve them.

3. Ignore people’s judgments and ideas about how to live your life. It’s easy to let what others think of you—perceived or suspected—shape how you see your capabilities. It’s also easy to let the opinions of people we care about, like our partners and parents, factor heavily into which dreams we pursue....

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In the previous table, the goals include more detail than the ideas, which gives the brain a more specific outcome to work toward.

Interact...

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Take Action: Write Affirmations

Writing affirmations is a great tool to envision your ideal reality and motivate you to leave your comfort zone to achieve it. Here are seven steps to write helpful affirmations:

1. Begin with the phrase, “I am…”. As simple as it seems, the phrase “I am…” acts like a command in your brain, telling your brain to feel this as reality or take the steps to make it so.
2. Write in present tense. By writing in present tense, you describe what you want as if you already have it. For example, if you’re single, instead of saying, “I will enjoy talking to my future partner about our plans to have a family,” say, “I am enjoying talking with my partner about plans to have a family.”
3. Include a verb ending in -ing. Using verbs ending in -ing gives action to the phrase. If you use present-tense verbs that don’t end in -ing, you’re describing something you do, but it’s unclear how often or consistently you do it. For example, saying “I feel confident and comfortable expressing myself in meetings,” is less active than saying, “I am expressing myself confidently and comfortably in meetings.” (If you use the phrase “I am,” you’ll...

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Most of the party’s attendees went on to achieve their dreams, including Canfield. He attributes their success to marinating their brains in the imagery of achievement for four hours, which in turn activated their RAS and motivated them to achieve the goal. The attendees had to put in concerted effort going forward to reach those goals, but the party provided an important starting point.

Throw a Come as You’ll Be Party for your close friends, or consider making it part of your company’s training program. You’ll create a supportive jumping-off point for the people around you who are looking to propel themselves toward their goals.

Acting the Part: From Bank Teller to Branch Manager

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When Canfield visited his local bank, he usually saw one teller who was more dressed up than the others. Instead of wearing just a shirt and tie, he wore a suit like the managers. Over the course of a few years, this employee went from teller, to loan salesman with his own desk, to loan officer, to branch manager. When Canfield asked him about it, he said he’d planned to become the branch manager. **In preparation for the role, he’d studied how the managers dressed and how they...

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Finding Your Main Excuse: Canfield’s $100 Bill Exercise

At Canfield’s seminars, he does an exercise where he holds up a $100 bill and asks the audience who wants it. Nearly everyone raises their hand. Canfield continues to hold it as people shout that he should pick them. Eventually, someone jumps from her seat and retrieves the bill.

When Canfield asks the other participants why they didn’t come get the bill, he gets the following reasons:

• They were sitting too far away.
• They figured others needed it more than they did.
• They wanted more instructions.
• They didn’t want to do something wrong in front of the group.
• They didn’t want to seem greedy.
• They didn’t believe Canfield would actually give them the bill.

Canfield then points out that whatever excuse stopped them from taking the bill could be the same one that stops them from pursuing their goals. For example, if they’re worried about doing something wrong in front of the group, they may be worried about making mistakes and don’t take action on their goals as a result. By recognizing these tendencies in yourself, you can interrupt them and take action.

**Writing Rocky: Sylvester...

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Example: On a plane about to depart for Orlando, Florida, Canfield noticed that the woman next to him was gripping her armrests tightly. He introduced himself, explained he was a coach, and asked if she was feeling afraid. When she said yes, he invited her to try an exercise with him. He asked her to close her eyes and tell him what imagery she was seeing that made her afraid. She said she kept picturing the plane crashing. Canfield asked her why she was traveling to Orlando, and she replied that she planned to take her grandchildren to Disney World. Canfield asked what her grandchildren’s favorite ride was. It’s a Small World, she replied. He asked her to visualize enjoying the ride with her grandchildren. Then, Canfield began singing the ride’s signature song, “It’s a Small World.” The woman began smiling and relaxed her grip.

Technique #3: Focus on Positive Feelings

Sometimes, fear is a physical feeling. Follow these steps to lessen it:

1. Identify how fear feels in your body. Common manifestations of fear include shortness of breath, sweating, or tenseness in the pit of your stomach.
2. Decide what you’d like to be feeling instead. Alternatives...

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3. Ask for the right person. Make sure that the person you’re asking is the person equipped to handle your request. If not, say something like, “I’d like to speak with the person who directs…?” If you’re not sure who the right person to talk to is, ask, “Who is the person who’s involved with…?”

4. Don’t accept rejection. People may not answer yes for a variety of reasons, but if you ask them again another time, they might say yes because:

• You’ve had time to prove your dedication to them or the work.
• They’re in a better mood.
• The economy improved.
• You offer more convincing data or evidence.

One study found that 60 percent of sales are made after the fourth call, but that 94 percent of salespeople give up after the third call. So continue to ask, even if it means asking more times than you’re comfortable with.

Activity: List Your Asks

To encourage yourself to ask for what you need, work through the different areas of your life. Here are the steps:

1. Make a list of things you need to ask for at home, work, and school. Write down how you would benefit from getting each thing you want to ask for. Then, rephrase each item to say, “I want...

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3. Giving up. When some people receive feedback, they give up on what they’re doing, rather than adjusting and doing something differently.

Ask for Feedback

People are often reluctant to give feedback because they don’t want you to react in one of the negative ways listed previously. To benefit from feedback, learn to ask for it and accept it graciously. Though you may be afraid of what you’ll hear, the benefits outweigh the downsides.

Ask these two questions:

• In what ways do you see me holding myself back? When you ask this question of people who know you well, it can illuminate specific habits or behaviors that when corrected will help you achieve more.
• On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate (BLANK)? This question can be used in any number of personal or professional situations. For example, you might ask your partner, “On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate our relationship in the past week?” If the person replies with an answer of less than 10, ask, “What would make it a 10?” Often, the person can suggest specific things you can do to improve. Canfield asks this question weekly of his wife and coworkers.

When you get feedback, look...

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Keeping score can work for your company, too. Some companies use scoring metrics called “critical drivers”—specific, positive outcomes—to work toward important benchmarks and improvements. If a critical driver reaches or exceeds a certain threshold, it results in increased revenue and profits for the company. For example, a critical driver for an insurance company might be the number of customers who are insured with more than one type of insurance. Learning to identify these drivers and develop a plan to improve them increases your company’s success.

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• Join a country club.
• Attend conferences in your field.
• Join professional clubs or societies in your field.

Learning at the Sauna: John Assaraf’s Story

John Assaraf is an entrepreneur of many trades, from real estate to virtual tour software. But before he became successful, he learned a lot from spending time in the men’s sauna at the local health club where he worked. There, successful men talked about successes and failures with their companies, as well as with their families and health. Assaraf learned that obstacles are part of life and running a business, but with perseverance, it’s possible to find solutions. He also learned that it was possible to build a successful life whatever your race, ethnicity, or educational history.

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The Connection Between Self-Esteem and Success

Having good self-esteem is a key ingredient for success. Research shows that the more self-esteem you have, the more likely you are to take risks that can lead to success. But if you focus on your failures, you erode your self-esteem and are less likely to take risks. For example, you might see a job posting for a customer engagement associate with a local software company. You’re relatively qualified for the job, but you talk yourself out of applying because you’ve never held a similar role, and you convince yourself you wouldn’t be selected. Instead of letting self-esteem erode your confidence, actively work to celebrate your success, and use it as a tool to persevere in times of doubt or difficulty.

Activity: Celebrate Your Successes

Try these activities to celebrate your successes:

1. Identify nine major successes you’ve had. Divide your life into three equally sized chunks. For example, if you’re 30 years old, your chunks would be from 0 to 10, 11 to 20, and 21 to 30. Then, write three successes for each stage. For example, a success in the 0 to 10 group might be that you participated in your first piano...

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2. Visualize tomorrow. Take a mental walk through your schedule for the next day. Visualize yourself doing your best in every situation, from enjoying your breakfast to leading a team check-in with your coworkers. This activity encourages your brain to devise ways to make it happen. Also, under the Law of Attraction, by broadcasting your positive intentions to the universe, you’re more likely to act positively, elicit positive behavior from others, and attract supportive people into your life.

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Clear the Clutter

Many people have things they don’t need. For example, you might have clothes you don’t wear. Just like unfinished business, this clutter can distract you, stealing energy you’d use to get important things done. Clearing clutter helps you feel more at ease in your space. It can also help you make room for new things in your life, both mentally and physically. Some people find that the act of cleaning their living space helps them welcome new business and other opportunities for growth.

Activity: Identify Clutter and Incomplete Tasks

To start ridding yourself of incomplete tasks and clutter, try these activities:

1. Consider the following list to get some ideas about what you haven’t finished or given enough attention to:

• Disorganized filing system
• Undone activities from former employment
• Projects that aren’t finished
• Commitments that you haven’t followed through on or modified
• Insufficient time for people you care about

Make your own list of things you have yet to complete. Commit to addressing at least one a month. Or, commit to completing several in just a weekend.

2. Inventory your home. Walk from room to...

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Technique #1: The “Total Truth” Process

When someone upsets you, you may experience anger at that person, but you may not fully express to them how you feel. When you don’t express how you feel, it can fester inside you as resentment, making it difficult to have a productive relationship with that person. Plus, hanging on to negative emotions hampers you from feeling happy, which is where joy, creativity, and inspiration come from. To restore your relationship, express your emotions fully: The Total Truth Process is one way to do this.

The Total Truth Process means expressing your emotions equally in six different stages, beginning with the negative and transitioning into expressing gratitude and love. This sequence helps you address your emotional distress and truly forgive someone who has wronged you. However, it doesn’t mean you’re trying to change the person. You can do this verbally, or in writing.

First, make a list of every person who has wronged you and how. Use this template:

(PERSON’S NAME) hurt me by (BLANK). Then, go through the total truth process with each person using either of the following options.

Option #1: Verbal

1.** Identify the person...

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Activity: Ready Yourself for Change

Here are two activities to help you embrace change:

1. Think of a time you were resistant to change. What was the change you resisted? Why? What happened when you finally embraced it? Was it as bad as you feared? Probably not. Remembering times when change benefited you will help you embrace future changes.

2. Identify potential changes in your life. Ask yourself:

• What change am I resisting? Why?
• What am I afraid of about this change? Why?
• What’s the benefit of keeping things the way they are? What’s the cost?
• What does cooperating with this change look like? What are the first steps?
• When will I start cooperating and do these steps?

Asking yourself these questions helps you address your fears around the change and learn to anticipate it with excitement instead.

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• You give yourself a negative label. For example, you might say that you’re too stupid to learn calculus. Instead, say, “Even though I struggle with math, I’m a smart person, and I know I’ll get through this.”
• You make the situation about yourself. For example, if you text your friend and don’t hear back for several days, you might think your friend didn’t like what you said or doesn’t care about you when they’re really just busy. Instead, remind yourself that you can’t know why people do certain things, and suggest other explanations for what happened.
• You think in extremes. Thinking in extremes means using words like always, never, everyone, no one, or every time. For example, you might say, “My supervisor never listens to me.” But it’s unlikely this is always true—your supervisor must listen to you sometimes. To counteract these statements, say what’s actually true: “I get upset when my supervisor doesn’t listen to me, but she has listened to me in the past, and she will in the future.”
• You make yourself feel guilty. If you think about things you need to do with phrases like have to, should, or ought to, you reinforce your reluctance to do them....

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1. Write your desired habit on slips of paper and post them around your home. Visually reminding yourself about your habit makes you more likely to remember and cement it in the long term.
2. Work with a partner. Recruit someone who is also working on a new habit so that you encourage each other to continue. Share your progress at least once each week.
3. Commit to 100 percent follow-through. Choose to follow through on your habit completely rather than leaving any wiggle room for other options. Full commitment means you stick to your plan at all times, including when you’re tempted to cheat. For example, if the habit you’re working on is to adopt a vegetarian diet, commit to doing it 100 percent of the time rather than allowing yourself to cheat occasionally.

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4. Train your team. To ensure that you’re constantly moving forward as a company, everyone needs to be learning how to advance themselves and their work. Here are two ways to train your team:

• Let employees attend training or hire trainers to lead private sessions for your company. Do a mix of professional development and personal development training.
• Create a library of resources employees can use, like books, DVDs or CDs.

5. Visit this book’s resources page for additional information, including:

• Suggested courses to learn to read faster
• Canfield’s curated list of books that discuss keys to success. Topics include nutrition, quantum physics, and psychology.
• Recommended training and organizations that provide training for companies and individuals

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Identify Your Core Genius

Like your passion, focusing on your core genius requires figuring out what your genius activities are and devoting time to them. Follow these steps to identify what to spend more time on in your current job and what to delegate to others:

1. List all the business activities that occupy your time. Include small tasks, like photocopying, up through big tasks, like giving presentations.
2. From the list, identify up to three activities that represent your core genius—activities you’re especially good at that use your unique talents.
3. Identify up to three activities from the list that generate the most income for your company. Plan to focus on the activities that require your unique talents and generate the most money.

Focus on Your Core Genius

Canfield offers two main strategies to focus on your core genius: Delegation and the “Entrepreneurial Time System.”

Delegate

Delegate activities that don’t use your core genius to other people. Though delegation may require training people, it ultimately saves you time by allowing you to pass tasks on to people who like doing them or are more efficient at doing them....

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For most people, about 20 percent of their activities contribute to 80 percent of their success. Successful people learn to identify and pursue great opportunities over good ones, which helps them achieve their goals with less effort.

Here are three steps to assess potential opportunities:

1. Make a list with two columns, one labeled “Good” and one labeled “Great.” Write down your opportunities in the column you think fits best. When considering where to place them, ask how they fit with your goals and identify what additional information you’d need to pursue each of them.
2. Discuss your opportunities with one of your advisors. Your advisors—people you turn to for support, expertise, and advice—can suggest which opportunities best suit you based on your interests and goals.
3. Do a test run. Before committing completely to a new opportunity, try a small test run to determine whether you want to pursue it. For example, if you’re interested in changing careers, try doing an internship in the new field to assess whether you’d like doing it long term.

Seeking Greatness as Rocky: Sylvester Stallone’s Story

When Sylvester Stallone wrote Rocky, many producers...

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Skill #3: Practice Gratitude

Expressing gratitude is another way to make employees feel appreciated and foster commitment. In one survey, only 17 percent of U.S. workers said they felt sufficiently appreciated by their boss. Yet 80 percent of employees said appreciation motivated them to work harder, and 50 percent said they’d stay at a company longer if they felt sufficiently appreciated by their boss. In addition to motivating employees, practicing gratitude directly benefits you—choosing a positive attitude can lower your stress and boost your mood. (Additional tips on appreciating the people in your life are discussed in Principle 53: Show Your Appreciation.)

Skill #4: Coach Others to Be Leaders and Solve Problems

Being a leader doesn’t mean solving every problem yourself. Coaching employees through challenges empowers them to lead and gives them the tools to solve problems. Ask the following questions:

1. What is the problem? Helping someone define the problem helps them take ownership of it and makes them more likely to resolve it efficiently. Example: One of your team leaders is frustrated that people aren’t showing up on time for their weekly...

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Changing Course: Jason Dorsey’s Story

Jason Dorsey was an undergraduate student at the University of Texas when a local entrepreneur spoke to his business class. Inspired by the speaker’s career, Dorsey asked him to be his mentor. During their first meeting, the mentor asked Dorsey about his career plans. Dorsey wanted to graduate from college and pursue a career on Wall Street before earning an MBA, starting his own business, and retiring early. He also dreamed of inspiring youth to secure their dream jobs. Dorsey’s mentor suggested a modification to his plan: Instead of waiting to work with youth, Dorsey should work with them sooner while he was young and could relate to them better. Dorsey decided to write a book to share his ideas with youth, speak at schools across the country, and offer training to teachers and counselors. His nickname became Gen Y Guy. He now trains companies on how to retain young employees.

Find a Coach

A coach is a professional whom you pay for advice that can help you advance your career farther, faster by:

• Weighing different opportunities.
• Identifying your values, purpose, and goals.
• Making a plan to reach your...

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Conduct a Meeting

For the first few meetings of your mastermind group, ensure that everyone has a chance to get to know everyone else by focusing on one group member at each meeting. This allows each member to showcase their goals and challenges and allows the rest of the group to think through ways to support them. Visit The Success Principles website for a guide on conducting mastermind meetings.

(Shortform note: Read our summary of Think and Grow Rich to learn more.)

Choose an Accountability Partner

An accountability partner is someone you work with one on one to share and work toward your goals. You meet regularly and hold each other accountable for getting your work done, meeting deadlines, and reaching goals. Your partner may also be able to provide you with contacts or other resources. Plus, they may offer enthusiasm that motivates you to follow through. Ideally, you’re each committed to the other’s success.

Form a Support Team

Professionals of all kinds benefit from having a support team...

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Meditation can be formal or informal. In formal meditation, you take a few minutes to quiet your mind and look within yourself for clarity. In contrast, informal meditation can take place throughout the day whenever you have time to think—for instance, during a run or while taking a shower, standing in line, driving, or praying.

When Canfield was 35, he attended a week-long meditation workshop in which participants meditated nearly constantly from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. At first, his thoughts ranged out of control, but by the fourth day, his mind calmed down. He still had thoughts, but they came and went more slowly and were more profound. He found a sense of inner peace as he understood that he could access ideas from within to solve any of his problems and reach his goals.

Ask Questions

Asking yourself questions and listening for answers is another way to access your intuition. For example, you might ask yourself whether you should take a job, how to increase your sales, or how to become healthier.

In addition to simply listening for the answers, employ the sway test discussed in Chapter...

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Improving Listening Skills: A Photographer’s Story

Canfield once met a photographer from New York City who did photo shoots for a variety of clients. Frequently, clients were unhappy with the results, and they would ask the photographer to redo the photoshoot. The photographer’s impulse was usually to argue with the client about why they didn’t like the photos. After losing several clients, he started taking an active listening approach instead: When a client told him he needed to do it over, he’d agree, and ask clarifying questions such as, “I’m hearing you say that...Is that correct?” By considering clients’ feedback, he eventually produced work they liked.

Take Action: Ask Four Questions to Build Rapport

To start a relationship or strengthen an existing one, ask these four questions:

1. In three years, what will you need to have done to feel happy?
2. What risks or dangers will you face in the process of achieving that?
3. What are the most promising opportunities at your disposal to achieve it?
4. To seize those opportunities, what existing skills and strengths can you use? What skills will you have to develop?

Try writing the questions down and carrying...

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1. Refrain from judgment and criticism of what others say.
2. When you’re done speaking, pass the object to the left. Or, if you don’t have anything to say, say “pass,” and pass it left.
3. Stay in the circle until everyone has said what they need to say, and the leader says it’s complete.

3. Pass the heart object around the circle at least once so everyone has a turn to speak. Go around as many times as necessary for everyone to say what they need to say. End the conversation when the heart object goes around twice with everyone saying “pass.” Though this is ideal, it takes a lot of time. If you’re on a more limited schedule, you have two options:

• Agree on a set number of rounds.
• Choose a time limit for the discussion. For example, set a time limit of 30 minutes, and ensure the heart object makes it around the circle at least once in that time.

Heart Talk Benefits

The benefits of hosting a heart talk include:

• Creating better communication
• Developing trust and cohesion
• Improving listening skills
• Resolving conflicts in a constructive way
• Facilitating understanding and respect

Saving the Family Business: James’s Story

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Just as speaking in a negative way shapes your life, lying affects your ability to be successful, too. Low self-esteem is at the root of lying: People who lie aren’t confident of getting what they want based on their own merits or they don’t feel people can handle knowing the truth about them. In both cases, lying requires energy to keep track of what you’ve said that you could be putting it toward more positive pursuits.

You can tell that you’re using the right language when you feel physically comfortable and happy. If you feel uneasy, examine whether you need to change how you speak.

The Benefits of Telling the Truth

There are two main benefits to truth-telling:

• You free yourself from harmful feelings. You may avoid telling the truth because you think you’re sparing the feelings of those around you. However, holding your feelings inside can end up hurting you instead. For example, Canfield does a secrets-telling activity in his advanced seminar, where people are invited to share things about themselves that they think would make others like them less. **Not only do people feel relieved to have shared their secrets, they feel increased respect and...

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Ask Questions to Help You Succeed and Achieve Your Goals

In addition to the benefits of avoiding assumptions, asking questions can help you succeed in your career and achieve your goals in two ways:

1. You learn what you need to know and establish guidelines in the beginning. Companies that discuss expectations and how challenges will be dealt with in the beginning of a project or partnership will be more capable of tackling challenges that arise. For example, if you start doing business with a new company, creating guidelines on how you’ll resolve conflicts at the outset will help you handle the conflict rather than facing the stress of both the conflict and not having a procedure to resolve it.
2. You learn the rules and how to use them to your advantage. In certain situations, you might think you should avoid asking questions so you appear competent. But it’s better to ask them and work confidently with the answers rather than operating without clarity. For example, Tim Ferriss had experience in wrestling when he decided to attempt to win the national kickboxing championship with just six weeks to train. He investigated the rules to determine how he might...

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3. Touch. Receiving touch is how people with this love language feel appreciated. At work, a handshake or hug could do the trick, while with a romantic partner, it may be sexual intimacy or cuddling. Canfield has given employees with this love language a gift card for a foot massage to show his appreciation.

4. Kind and encouraging words. People who prefer this love language need to hear kind words to feel appreciated and loved. It shows them you believe in their work and abilities.

5. Quality time. People who prefer quality time need to feel as though they’re spending uninterrupted time with someone to feel appreciated. For example, Canfield’s wife prefers Canfield give her his undivided attention when they spend time together rather than looking at his phone or the television.

Tips for Discovering Someone’s Love Language

Here are three tips to discover someone’s love language:

1. Listen to what they ask of you. What people ask for can reveal the ways in which they prefer to be loved or appreciated. For example, if someone asks you for a hug, that might be an indication that their love language is physical touch.
2. **Watch how they behave with...

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If you discover you’re not going to be able to keep your agreement, let the other person know as soon as possible so you can negotiate a new one. For example, if your car won’t start, immediately make arrangements to reschedule the meeting.

Motivate Yourself to Fulfill Your Commitments: Martin Rutte’s Story

Sometimes it’s helpful to create a significant consequence for not meeting a commitment to motivate you to fulfill it. For example, Martin Rutte wanted to learn to do a high dive, but he’d been reluctant to practice because he was afraid. To move past his fear and achieve his goal, he created a big incentive: If he didn’t learn how to do a high dive by a certain date and time, he’d donate $1,000 to the Ku Klux Klan. Because Rutte was Jewish, the incentive to avoid making the donation motivated him to reach his goal.

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5. Maintain grace, even under difficult circumstances. There are two main ways to do this:

• Stay calm. In the face of difficult circumstances, your calmness is a comforting anchor for others.
• Act with confidence. Showing confidence in your plan of action helps you and those around you stay the course. For example, by staying calm and expressing a confident vision, Winston Churchill successfully helped the Allies defeat Nazi Germany in World War II.

6. Express appreciation, and act with courtesy and generosity. You might fall into the habit of being bothered by small matters or taking out frustrations on others. Focusing on appreciating and treating others well trains your brain to be more compassionate and to see the world in a more positive light, making small difficulties feel easier to overcome.

7. Treat everyone as a unique individual. Though humans share many commonalities, each of us is a product of different genetics, life experiences, and circumstances. Treating everyone as unique broadens the definition of what it means to be human while supporting people on their particular life journey.

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Once you’ve started reforming your ideas about money, continue to cultivate positive thinking about it with the following three techniques:

1. Use affirmations. Affirmations bombard your mind with positive feelings about what you hope to achieve. (For a refresher on affirmations, read Principles 4-6: Believe in Yourself and Your Dreams.)
2. Visualize. Visualize yourself getting the money you want, and all of the things you’ll do with it, like enjoying a fancy vacation. (For a refresher on visualization, see Principles 7, 8, 11, 23: Set Goals).
3. Create an “Is” box. Similar to visualization, you can use an Is Box to store your visions for the future. Create a label that says “What’s in this box...IS!” or something to that effect. Clip images or make art of what you’d like to achieve with the money you’ll earn. Regularly visit the images in the box and imagine what it’ll be like to have what you want and enjoy it. This will encourage you to make these things a reality.

As you attempt to change your money mindset, you may find yourself thinking contrary thoughts. When this happens, write down the thought and the negative emotions it brings up for you. Then, work...

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1. Track your spending. Make a list of your fixed monthly expenses, like housing, Internet service, and gym membership. Look at your expenses from the previous six to 12 months and calculate your average monthly variable expenses. Examples of variable expenses include going to the movies, doctor visits, and your water bill. Finally, for one month, write down everything you spend money on, no matter how small, to gain awareness of your spending habits.

Begin Your Journey Toward Wealth

The choices you make today affect your ability to live the life you want in the future. To get from where you are now to your desired level of wealth, follow these three steps:

1. Decide what being wealthy means to you. What being wealthy means varies for everyone. One person might want to become a multimillionaire, while another may want to earn enough money to take an annual two-week vacation. Brainstorm, and consider revisiting Chapter 3: Identify What You Want.

2. Calculate how much you’d spend in one year. Make a table or list of everything you’d spend money on when you’re wealthy. Include expenses like housing, food, bills, vacation, and investments. Research future...

... Age (Starting investing) Age (Stopping investing) Amount Invested Per Month Annual Interest Amount Invested Over Investing Period Money at Age 65 </tr> Mary 25 35 $150 8% $18,000 $283,385 Tom 35 65 $150 8% $54,000 $220,233 </table>

Even though Mary only invested money for eight years, she reaches age 65 with an additional $63,152 due to interest compounding over 40 years versus Tom’s 30 years.

Tips to Save

Here are five tips to save enough money:

1. Save at least 10 percent of your income per month. It may not seem like much, but even just saving a small amount now helps you save later.

2. Save more than you spend. This tip is also called the 50/50 law because to save more than you spend, you effectively can’t spend more than 50 percent of what you earn. This rule was developed by Sir John Marks...

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1. Ask for a discount. Though it may feel uncomfortable to ask for a lower price, the worst the seller could do is say no. Since it could save you money, it’s worth a try.
2. Do your research. Use the Internet or call different stores that offer the same item to find the best price.
3. Trade. Instead of paying for something in cash, ask the seller if they’d accept another good or service as payment. For example, in exchange for your neighbor repairing your car, you could give them a home-cooked meal instead of cash.

Tip #3: Carefully Consider Student Loans

U.S. residents have more student loan debt than credit card debt. This is in part because it’s fairly easy to get an education loan. This may allow universities to justify increasing tuition and fees because they figure students and their families will have no problem paying. Instead of resigning yourself to taking on massive debt to attend college, strive to take on as little debt as possible using one or more of these methods:

• Seek scholarships. Scholarships are gifts and don’t have to be paid back. To make yourself more competitive, consider doing internships or becoming involved in...

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• Find an underappreciated asset or service your company offers that you could maximize in some way for extra cash.

Even if you work in your off-hours to make this happen, having the extra cash could make it worthwhile.

Strategy #2: Start a Network Marketing Business

Network marketing jobs are another way to make extra cash selling specific goods. You become a representative of the company and work to grow the network of people buying your product. Products include toys, cosmetics, and vitamins. It can be very lucrative: Approximately 20 percent of all new millionaires in the U.S. achieved their success through network marketing.

Visit the Direct Marketing Association’s website (www.dsa.org) to browse companies. Because some direct marketing companies don’t last, find one that has been around a while and is widely liked. Try the products to make sure you like them, as it will be difficult to convince people to buy them if you don’t like them.

Strategy #3: Solve Problems or Fill Needs

One of the best ways to create a new income stream is to think of a problem you’d like to solve, and devise a product or a service you can provide to address it. Ask...

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2. Volunteer. Many charities do work that benefits the community. But many of them rely on volunteer help rather than maintaining a dedicated staff. Volunteering your time to these organizations is a way to share the wealth you have with the community to help make it better.

Tithing and Abundance

It may seem counterintuitive that giving away money would bring you more prosperity while buying things for yourself wouldn’t. Yet this is what many dedicated tithers report. One reason could be that tithers consciously choose to grow and share their wealth while steering clear of greed. Instead of feeling a sense of scarcity that makes them want to hold onto their money, they feel a sense of abundance: They have enough wealth to meet their needs and share it with others.

This sense of abundance is good for the environment. When you feel you have enough, you aren’t interested in overconsuming material goods, which depletes the environment of its limited resources. Instead, you share the money that would’ve been spent on goods with the world to make it a better place.

Financing College by Avoiding First Class: Tom’s Story

Tom, a neighbor of Canfield’s, is part of...

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2. Focus your company’s products or services on helping others. Sir John Marks Templeton, the billionaire who didn’t spend more than he saved, looked at the success of businesses over time. He found that businesses that focus on improving people’s lives by improving their services or products are the most successful. To determine whether your company does this, ask whether the service or product you provide will be beneficial or useful to the public over time.

Service Brings Joy: Kenneth Behring’s Story

Growing up in an economically depressed part of Wisconsin, Kenneth Behring earned money through jobs like caddying and working retail. After high school, he sold used cars and became a millionaire by age 27. His wealth continued to grow when he started a new career as a real estate developer. He now regularly makes the Forbes 400 and Fortune 500 lists for wealthiest people in the U.S.; his net worth is about $495 million.

Behring’s interest in serving others began later in life. First, he went through several stages of trying to find happiness in things. When one stage didn’t bring him happiness, he moved onto the next one. Here are Behring’s stages:

1....

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• Limit yourself to information that helps you toward your goals or other purpose.
• Try a one-week information diet. This means avoiding all news media, like magazines, newspapers, websites, and more. Reading books is allowed, but only fiction; you can watch TV, but only shows unrelated to news.
• Try out a new habit for 30 days to limit your media consumption. For example, try going 30 days without looking at Instagram.

Use Technology Wisely

As discussed in Principle 31: Embrace Change, it’s important to be open to trying new technologies that can make your life easier and allow for more fulfilling uses of your time. But you don’t need to adopt everything. Follow these 10 tips to maximize your relationship with technology.

Tip #1: Generate a Brilliant Idea, and Find the Technology to Support It

You might think you need the best technology available to achieve the most success. But if you have excellent technology and a bad idea, you’re not going to succeed. Focus on your ideas first and technology second. For example, Łukasz Jakóbiak, a resident of Poland, wanted to create a television show, but he didn’t have the resources to buy equipment or...

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1. Build it yourself, or hire someone to do it. Consider including different pages, such as one that describes you and your work, one where people can purchase your products, and one to showcase work. If you’re uncertain about building a website or blog, hire someone to do it through a freelance site like Fiverr.
2. Consider creating a phrase, buzzword, or brand name that people can associate with you and your work. Offering people a catchy phrase can help them search for and find your work online. For example, Canfield’s phrase for his book series was Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Tip #2: Identify Your Audience

After creating your blog or website, identify the people you want to reach by asking:

• Who are the people that are most interested in my insight, knowledge, and expertise?
• How are we related? It’s possible you work in or study the same field. Or they may be people you share interests or hobbies with.

Tip #3: Create Social Media Profiles

Social media profiles are a helpful way to share content that grows your online brand. They accomplish this in two ways:

• You share bite-sized pieces of information to engage readers and...

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1. Reassure people that you can finish the job. Updates are opportunities to reinforce your credibility by reassuring people that you’re making progress toward delivering the finished product or result. Another tip: Express gratitude for those on your team during updates. This helps people empathize with you and your experience as you progress.

Crowdfunding Websites

Crowdfunding websites include:

• Kickstarter.com. Kickstarter is the best-known crowdfunding site. It was originally intended for people in the arts, but is used widely by tech entrepreneurs and inventors. Canfield recommends looking at the campaign for the “Coolest Cooler,” which includes features such as a rechargeable battery for its portable margarita blender and waterproof Bluetooth speakers. At the time of Canfield’s writing, the campaign had raised $10,056,281, much higher than its original $50,000 ask. (Shortform note: The Coolest Cooler company folded in late 2019 without delivering the promised product to one-third of backers. The campaign is still available to view on Kickstarter.)
• GoFundMe.com. GoFundMe helps people raise money for everything from tuition to business ventures...