PDF Summary:The Magic of Mindful Self-Awareness, by Matt Tenney

What if you could be happy every moment of every day, regardless of your circumstances? That’s the promise of Matt Tenney’s The Magic of Mindful Self-Awareness. Tenney explains that it’s usually our own thoughts making us unhappy, rather than what’s actually happening to us. He also teaches methods to free yourself from the fears and desires that cause unhappiness.

In this guide, we’ll discuss what mindful self-awareness is and explain Tenney’s ultimate goal of freeing you from racing thoughts and relentless desires. We’ll then explore how you can practice mindful self-awareness in your daily life and find a deep sense of fulfillment.

We’ll compare Tenney’s principles with those of other books on mindfulness, such as Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance. We’ll also provide supporting details from psychology and neurology to help explain how mindful self-awareness practices work and why they’re beneficial. Finally, we’ll offer actionable advice to help you get started.

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(Shortform note: In Mindfulness in Plain English, Buddhist monk Bhante Gunaratana goes into more detail about the proper mindset for mindful self-awareness, and how to avoid thinking too hard during meditation. He suggests that you approach this practice with no expectations and accept whatever happens while practicing mindfulness and meditation. He also says you shouldn’t try to think about what you’re experiencing; don’t judge or look for meaning in what happens during these exercises, simply take the experience as it comes. Finally, he urges you to look for your own personal practices and insights—take what other people say as guidance and suggestions, not as dogma.)

Start With the Body, Not the Mind

Tenney recommends you start by developing your awareness of your body, and he provides a simple meditation exercise to train that awareness.

Sit in a comfortable, upright position, and simply note what your body is doing without trying to control it. Observe how your body expands and contracts with your breath, and what that feels like. When thoughts arise or your attention wanders, gently note that it happened and return your awareness to your body. Resist the urge to think of those thoughts as failures; they’re a natural part of the process, and they’ll become less frequent and jarring as you continue to practice.

(Shortform note: If you’re struggling to figure out how meditation can fit into your schedule, or if getting started seems daunting, begin with very short meditation sessions. In You Are a Badass, self-help author Jen Sincero says just five minutes a day is enough to get you started. You can later make your meditations longer at whatever rate feels natural to you. She also recommends focusing on a mantra to block out unwanted thoughts during your meditation.)

There are several reasons why Tenney recommends starting with body awareness, rather than trying to become more aware of your thoughts. First of all, thoughts move very quickly and can easily overwhelm you in the early stages of mindfulness practice—as soon as you return your attention to the present, you get lost in thought again. The practice of body awareness moves your thoughts to the periphery, which makes you much less likely to get caught up in your own mental chatter.

(Shortform note: In Mindfulness in Plain English, Gunaratana also notes that random thoughts seem inescapable in the early stages of mindfulness practice. You’re likely to wonder where such thoughts come from and question why you can’t quiet them for long. Gunaratana urges you to recognize that your mind has always been this noisy and chaotic; you simply never noticed until you began practicing mindfulness. However, with time and consistent practice, you will learn to bring your thoughts under control.)

Secondly, most people identify much more strongly with their thoughts than with their bodies. To illustrate this point, it’s likely that a physical change such as a tattoo wouldn’t fundamentally change how you see yourself. However, a head injury that changes your thought patterns would. The practice of body awareness helps you identify more strongly with your body and what you physically experience, rather than what you think about. Essentially, focusing on your body helps you get out of your head, which is the goal of mindful self-awareness.

The Importance of Body Awareness

In addition to the issues of focus and identity that Tenney discusses here, improved awareness of your own body has numerous physical and mental health benefits.

First and foremost, it helps you better understand the signals your body sends you. That means you’ll know what you need from moment to moment and can make appropriate choices about how to meet those needs. For instance, it’s common for people to mistake fatigue for hunger—but if you have a good sense of body awareness, you’ll know when you need a snack versus when you need a nap.

Improved body awareness also helps you understand your environment, since you’ll have a clearer sense of what’s happening around you and to you. Processing those environmental cues more clearly reduces your sense of uncertainty, and therefore reduces stress.

While anyone can enjoy these benefits of body awareness, some research suggests that it’s especially helpful for those with certain neurological and psychological conditions, such as people on the autism spectrum and people suffering from PTSD.

Every Activity Is a Chance to Practice

Every mundane daily activity can be an opportunity to practice mindful self-awareness and cultivate happiness. Tenney urges you to create a chronological list of the things you do every single day, no matter how insignificant. Then, starting with your first activity after waking—this might be something like putting your feet on the floor or making coffee—commit to being fully present during that single activity for 30 consecutive days. Once that becomes habitual, go to the next item on your list and commit to being fully present during that activity as well. Within 90 days you could have a dozen or more daily opportunities to practice mindful self-awareness, all without interrupting your usual schedule.

(Shortform note: As you adopt these small self-awareness habits Tenney describes, you’re likely to find that each new practice comes more easily than the last, and leads to greater improvements in your overall well-being. In Atomic Habits, entrepreneur James Clear discusses this effect in more detail: Small adjustments in your day-to-day habits compound upon each other to create massive changes over time. In short, this happens when one good habit inspires you to adopt another, and so on until your life is transformed. Furthermore, each good habit makes you more energetic and focused, and therefore better able to adopt further healthy practices.)

Usually, these everyday activities in which you’re trying to be mindful are when you’re most likely to let your mind wander, and while you’re learning to be fully present, that tendency will likely crop up. Tenney says that when you realize that you’re lost in thought, it will take a moment of effort to bring your attention back to the present moment. However, once you’ve regained your mindful self-awareness, you don’t need to do any more mental work. Self-awareness sustains itself naturally for at least a few seconds before your habitual thought patterns reassert themselves—and, when they do, just take another moment to return your attention to what’s happening now.

(Shortform note: In Mindfulness in Plain English, Gunaratana offers an additional tip for maintaining mindfulness during everyday activities: Slow them down. If you make a task take 10 times as long as it normally does, you can witness every single component of the action and pay full attention to each nuance. For example, if you’re drinking your first cup of coffee for the day, you can note your posture as you sit, feel the handle of the cup in your fingers, smell the coffee’s aroma, feel your arm as it rises, feel the cup against your lip, and feel the liquid pouring into your mouth. Slowing yourself down with such intentionality will let you do the same with your thoughts during the process.)

Tenney also recommends that you practice mindful self-awareness before you go to sleep each night. All you have to do is sit comfortably on your bed, recognize that there’s nothing more you need to do or worry about today, and spend five minutes being fully present. In addition to the benefits of mindful self-awareness that we’ve already discussed, this practice will help you relax and get a better night’s sleep.

(Shortform note: Practicing mindfulness before bed, as Tenney suggests, might be especially helpful for people who suffer from chronic pain. In It Doesn’t Have to Hurt, neurosurgeon Sanjay Gupta explains that for chronic pain sufferers, sleep can be difficult, which leads to fatigue and intensifies their pain. Gupta says that engaging in deep breathing exercises or meditation right before bed can reduce physical tension and anxiety, helping people with pain get the healing rest they need. It follows that these same benefits might apply to people without chronic pain as well, adding to the reasons that Tenney lists.)

Find Meaning and Joy in Every Moment

Tenney concludes with the promise that mindful self-awareness is the key to a richly meaningful life as well as a happy one. When you’re fully present in each moment, rather than lost in thought about the past or future, you can fully appreciate the experiences you have and the people you’re with. This allows you to find joy and purpose in the present moment, no matter what you’re doing or how insignificant it seems.

(Shortform note: What Tenney calls mindful self-awareness is also known as present-moment awareness, or more colloquially, “living in the moment.” A growing body of research agrees that living in the moment has significant benefits for your mental and emotional health. First of all, by definition, present-moment awareness means you’re not stressing yourself by regretting the past or worrying about the future. It also lets you fully experience and appreciate each moment as it comes, which boosts your mood and overall happiness. Finally, greater awareness of the present moment makes you better able to recognize stressors and other challenges, and to meet those challenges in healthy, productive ways.)

Furthermore, mindful self-awareness breaks desire’s hold, and allows your natural goodness to reassert itself. Tenney says that people are inherently helpful and kind, but we lose sight of that goodness when we get stuck chasing our self-centered desires. He promises that you’ll find greater meaning in serving others than you could ever find while serving only yourself.

(Shortform note: One reason helping others makes us feel happy and fulfilled is that evolution has hardwired us to be altruistic. In Behave, neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky argues that reciprocal altruism (people helping each other) is the foundation of human civilization—early societies relied on everyone working together to ensure that people were all housed, fed, and protected. As a result, people with strong altruistic drives survived and passed those traits on to future generations.)

Finally, people are often concerned that contentment will eliminate their ambition, but Tenney argues the opposite: mindful self-awareness increases your motivation and performance. When you’re not constantly distracted by your thoughts, you’re more likely to notice problems worth solving in your daily environment. When you’re not attached to short-term gratification, you’re more willing to take on big challenges and risks. Finally, when you separate your identity from the running narrative in your mind, it becomes easier to set and pursue ambitious goals—this is because you’re no longer held back by limiting beliefs about who you are or what you’re capable of.

(Shortform note: Tenney offers several reasons why mindful self-awareness boosts your productivity, but it’s also possible that you’ll become more ambitious and more productive simply because you feel better. In Feel-Good Productivity, entrepreneur Ali Abdaal draws on the broaden-and-build theory of positive psychology to explain why increased happiness and decreased stress make you more productive. First, good feelings broaden your mind—when you’re happy, you’re more receptive to new ideas and better able to come up with creative solutions to problems. Second, positive feelings build a reserve of mental energy that you can draw on as needed to overcome future challenges.)