PDF Summary:The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere

Offense—the feeling of being wronged or hurt by someone—can trap you in cycles of bitterness, resentment, and isolation. In The Bait of Satan, John Bevere argues that offense is a trap set by the devil to enslave believers and hinder their spiritual growth. He explains how pride and past hurts can cause you to hold onto offenses, creating barriers that distort your perception and damage your relationships.

Bevere outlines the destructive consequences of unresolved offense, from betrayal to spiritual stagnation, and offers guidance on how to break free. He discusses foundational principles like obedience to God and the importance of forgiveness, and provides practical steps for addressing existing offenses and preventing future ones. Throughout, Bevere emphasizes that God's love and humility are essential tools for escaping the cycle of offense and living in spiritual freedom.

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This self-protective behavior leads to introspection, where you guard your entitlements and connections. You become unteachable and wary of everyone, unable to recognize what needs to change in your life. You isolate yourself and act in ways that open you to mistreatment, cutting off your capacity to be fruitful.

The Pros and Cons of Being Selective About Relationships

While Bevere argues that becoming more guarded and selective about relationships is a sign of stunted growth, there are situations where this is the right thing to do. For example, if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s abusive or coercive, it’s important to be highly selective about who you spend time with. In these cases, being selective is a form of self-protection that can help you avoid further harm. It’s also important to recognize that being selective about relationships doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unteachable or unable to recognize your own weaknesses. In fact, it can be a sign of self-awareness and a willingness to prioritize your own well-being.

Bevere reiterates that being offended can make us build walls and isolate ourselves. When we experience pain, we build walls to shield ourselves from future harm. We start choosing carefully who we let in, closing ourselves off from people we worry might harm us. We open up exclusively to those we think support us. However, we end up trapped behind our barriers, unable to form deep connections with anyone. We consume our energy ensuring we won’t be hurt anymore. But without risking pain, we can’t offer love without conditions, which lets others hurt us.

The Importance of Boundaries

Bevere’s advice to stop building walls and risk pain can be dangerous for people in abusive or dangerous situations. In Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend argue that setting boundaries is a God-given way to take responsibility for your own life. They emphasize that you must not allow another person—especially someone who is repeatedly hurtful or abusive—to have unlimited access to you or to continually violate your limits. Permitting ongoing mistreatment is not love but enabling, and wise limits are necessary to protect your safety, sanity, and spiritual growth.

Cultivating Release From Resentment

Bevere believes that to cultivate freedom from being offended, you have to recognize and address offenses quickly to prevent bitterness and resentment from taking root. If you don't address an offense, it will lead to more sinful actions, like anger and resentment. This hardens your heart and reduces your sensitivity to God’s voice. The more you conceal it, the more it will grow in strength, making it harder to address. Furthermore, if you end a relationship harboring resentment and hard feelings, you’ll bring that attitude to future relationships.

To avoid this, Bevere advises not to avoid problems. Instead, confront people who have done you wrong, and seek reconciliation.

The Dangers of Addressing Offenses

While recognizing and addressing offenses quickly can help you avoid bitterness and resentment, it can also put you in danger. If you’re in an abusive relationship, confronting the person who has done you wrong can expose you to further emotional or physical harm. In such cases, seeking reconciliation may not be safe or possible. Additionally, if the relationship is seriously imbalanced, with one person holding significantly more power or control, addressing offenses may not lead to genuine resolution. The person with more power may dismiss or minimize your concerns, making it difficult to achieve true reconciliation.

This section will explore some foundational principles and practical steps for avoiding offense.

Foundational Principles for Remaining Free

One foundational principle for avoiding offense is obeying God, which Bevere views as essential for spiritual freedom. He explains that the Lord challenges His followers to be obedient, often putting us in scenarios where society’s standards might seem to justify our actions. Others might encourage us to protect ourselves, and we might even believe we’re being noble by avenging ourselves. This isn’t the path of God; it’s the road of worldly wisdom. If you live according to God's will, you won't meet people's expectations, and consequently, you'll endure physical suffering. Bevere points out that the strongest resistance Jesus faced was from religious leaders who believed God operated solely within their parameters.

(Shortform note: Obeying God can help you avoid offense because it shifts your focus from seeking approval from others to aligning your actions with what you consider sacred. When you prioritize your relationship with God, you’re less likely to be swayed by societal pressures or the expectations of others. This perspective can help you reinterpret situations that might otherwise cause offense. For example, if someone criticizes your beliefs or actions, instead of feeling hurt or defensive, you might view it as an opportunity to demonstrate your commitment to your faith. This reframing can reduce the emotional impact of potentially offensive situations, making it easier to respond with grace and understanding rather than taking offense.)

If Jesus upset the religious leaders by being guided by the Spirit, then modern followers of His teachings are certain to do the same. He argues that offense hinders spiritual development, while suffering and obedience help us connect more deeply with God and other people. Spiritual development depends on obedience. Someone who no longer sins follows God's will completely. He is spiritually advanced and prefers God's path to his own. Just as Jesus was taught obedience through suffering, we learn it through challenging experiences. By following divine teachings, we develop and become more mature amid adversity and hardship. The key isn't knowing Scripture; it's obedience. We must let truth guide us if we want to develop and become more mature. It’s not enough to mentally agree with it and not act on it. Although we keep gaining knowledge, we fail to develop due to disobedience.

The Dangers of Equating Obedience With Spiritual Maturity

Bevere’s argument that spiritual development requires obedience and suffering, and that this will inevitably put you at odds with religious leaders, may have unintended consequences. In The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen explain that spiritual abuse occurs when people in positions of spiritual authority use God, the Bible, or their office to pressure others to give up their own discernment, silence their questions, and stay loyal even when they are being hurt. They argue that spiritual abuse is particularly damaging because it makes it difficult for people to recognize when they are being mistreated. When spiritual leaders equate obedience with spiritual maturity, they create an environment where questioning, setting boundaries, or leaving is seen as rebellion against God. This dynamic can trap people in unhealthy relationships and prevent them from seeking help or leaving abusive situations. By framing spiritual growth as requiring ever-greater submission and hardship, Bevere’s teachings may inadvertently make it harder for people to recognize and escape spiritual abuse.

Now, let’s explore God’s sovereignty and purpose in offense, and how believers can respond to it.

God's Sovereignty and the Reasons for Offense

Bevere explains that God uses offense to shape and develop us. He frequently puts us in challenging situations to press us, allowing His love and purifying flames to mold us. If we become offended and walk away, we miss out on what God intends for us, compounding the offense. Offended people respond to circumstances by acting in ways that seem correct but lack divine inspiration. Our calling isn't to respond to people or circumstances; it's to obey God's guidance.

The Soul-Making Tradition

Bevere’s idea that God uses offense to develop us is part of a larger theological tradition that sees the world as a place for “soul-making.” This tradition holds that God allows us to experience pain and suffering, including interpersonal hurts, to help us grow into mature, virtuous people. Theologian John Hick argues that this approach views the world as a place for gradual character development rather than immediate comfort. In this view, God’s goal isn’t to shield us from all pain but to help us become more loving, patient, and wise through life’s challenges.

The Believer's Response: Forgiveness, Love, and Humility

Bevere argues that believers should respond to offense with forgiveness, love, and humility. He points to David as an example of how to respond to offense. David refused to take revenge on Saul, who was attempting to murder him. Instead, he left the matter in God’s hands, even mourning Saul's passing and showing kindness to his descendants. David’s actions demonstrated that he wasn’t offended by Saul’s actions, and he remained loyal to Saul even once Saul had died.

(Shortform note: In First and Second Samuel, Walter Brueggemann explains that in the ancient Near East, it was common for claimants to the throne to murder their rivals. In this context, David’s refusal to take revenge on Saul would have been especially striking to the Israelites. Brueggemann argues that the story of David and Saul is meant to show that Israel’s kingship is a gift from God, not something to be seized through violence.)

Practical Steps to Address and Avoid Offense

Responding to Existing Offense

Bevere believes that reconciliation should be the goal when responding to hurt. Jesus taught that we should approach each other for reconciliation, not condemnation. We ought to take action to eliminate the gap hindering our bond's restoration. Bevere explains that our brother will be moved to repent and repair the relationship by God's goodness within us. We keep our bond intact by cultivating a humble, gentle, and patient mindset, and by supporting one another's vulnerabilities with love.

(Shortform note: Bevere’s ideas about reconciliation are part of a larger conversation in Christian circles about how to resolve conflict. In The Peacemaker, Ken Sande argues that biblical peacemaking is a step-by-step process. He explains that we should first examine our own role in the conflict, then address the other person’s specific wrongs, and finally work toward restoring the relationship. Sande emphasizes the importance of humility and love, but he also stresses the need for justice and clear agreements. This approach contrasts with Bevere’s focus on relying on our inner goodness to prompt the other person’s repentance.)

Bevere urges us to wait before approaching someone who has caused us pain until we decide to truly forgive him—regardless of his response. We have to remove any resentment we have against him prior to approaching him. Otherwise, we'll likely react out of negativity, which will harm him rather than help him heal. Our responsibility is to make every effort to mend the relationship, provided we stay faithful to the truth. Frequently, we abandon relationships prematurely.

(Shortform note: In Forgive for Good, Luskin offers a practical way to reduce resentment before a difficult conversation. He suggests writing out your grievance story, then rewriting it to highlight your strengths and future goals. This exercise calms your body and softens hostility, making it easier to approach the other person without anger. Luskin explains that when you practice telling the story in this new way, you feel more empowered and less stuck in the past.)

Proactive Steps for Preventing Offense

Bevere recommends using your freedom to help others and avoid causing offense. Though we are free in Christ, we must be mindful not to employ our freedom in a way that causes others to stumble. Instead, we should serve others, not insist on our personal entitlements. If our actions are likely to upset someone, we should think about voluntarily restricting ourselves to set an example for others. Ask yourself: Do my actions aim to uplift me or others?

(Shortform note: Bevere’s book was published in 1994, before the rise of social media and the “outrage culture” that has come with it. In today’s world, your choices are more visible than ever, and people are more easily offended than ever. In The Coddling of the American Mind, Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff explain how social media has made it easier for people to take offense at things that would have been considered normal in the past.)