PDF Summary:Jump and Find Joy, by Hoda Kotb

If there’s one thing scarier than taking a risk, it’s looking back and wondering “What if?” This mindset has been the driving force behind broadcaster and journalist Hoda Kotb’s many leaps into unfamiliar territory. To her, it’s better to jump and stumble than not to jump at all. Jump and Find Joy reveals what she’s learned from embracing the pivotal changes in her life, some intentional (like adopting a child at the age of 52) and others unexpected (like being diagnosed with breast cancer).

Our guide chronicles the changes Kotb faced head on—from her broadcasting career to motherhood and beyond—and breaks down her tips for navigating the often-unpredictable terrain of your life. We’ll supplement her advice with ideas from other books about dealing with change like The Next Day by Melinda French Gates and You Only Die Once by Jodi Wellman.

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The adoption process was lengthy and involved a lot of waiting. Kotb deliberately kept one room in their apartment empty for use as a future nursery, an act of faith that her child was on the way. In 2017, at the age of 52, Kotb welcomed her daughter Haley; two years later, Kotb adopted another girl, Hope. (Shortform note: Setting aside a room as a nursery is a form of manifestation. Also known as the Law of Attraction, it’s the idea that positive thinking attracts positive things into your life. In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne recommends acting as if you already have what you’re hoping for, just as Kotb made space for her daughters.)

Kotb and Schiffman eventually parted ways romantically—a decision Kotb describes as coming not from conflict or crisis but from a gradual recognition that they were growing in different directions. Their relationship shifted to one of genuine friendship, and they had a shared commitment to raise their daughters.

(Shortform note: Deciding to end a relationship is easier when things clearly aren’t working, but what do you do if, like Kotb, you feel something is off but there aren’t any major conflicts or red flags? A relationship therapist says you should consider three things: whether your partner is attentive and caring, whether you actually like them, and whether you feel secure in your commitment to each other. If you do end a relationship where children are involved, co-parenting is in your kids’ best interest (unless you need to protect them from violence or abuse). Research shows that shared parenting after separation is good for a child’s development and well-being.)

Aside from adopting two girls and the change in her relationship status, Kotb also made a big leap in her living situation in 2024. Wanting her daughters to grow up surrounded by plenty of space and a close-knit community, she traded their Manhattan apartment for a house in the suburbs. There, she and her daughters enjoyed an unhurried, idyllic life—she says the neighbors were welcoming, the girls could play outdoors and climb trees, and school was a walk away from home.

(Shortform note: Like Kotb, many people move to the suburbs once they have children. A Harvard study found that millennials who once preferred urban living are now moving farther away from city centers in search of larger homes, quieter streets, and child-friendly neighborhoods. However, other young families are driven out of the city by the high cost of housing and child care, and a shortage of family-friendly infrastructure.)

Post-TV Life: Joy 101

Kotb found her work on the TODAY show invigorating, so much so that she stayed even after Gifford left in 2019. In 2024, the show marked Kotb’s 60th birthday with a celebration, and this nudged her to evaluate her priorities: What did she want to be doing in her 60s? She felt it was the right time to take another leap—to leave the show and focus on her family and other pursuits.

(Shortform: Kotb revisiting her priorities when she turned 60 is in line with researcher Kerry Burnight’s ideas in Joyspan. Burnight argues that we’re happiest when we keep discovering new strengths and possibilities as we age, and she recommends two ways to keep evolving as we get older. First, know your inner worth, defining yourself by your internal qualities rather than external factors like your career, money, or appearance. Second, nurture your curiosity, which can come in the form of hunger for new information or a desire to experience new things.)

Kotb officially left the show in early 2025, but the seeds of her post-TV venture were planted years before, when TODAY cohost Jenna Bush Hager recommended breathwork to help her relax. Kotb says breathwork not only calmed her but also improved her focus. This experience made her more curious about wellness, and she researched and experimented with other practices like meditation and journaling. What struck her most was that the tools making the biggest difference in her life were neither expensive nor complicated—they were accessible to almost anyone, and she wanted to share them with the world.

(Shortform note: The “breathwork” that was Kotb’s on-ramp into the wellness world refers to a collection of intentional breathing practices with documented health benefits. In Breath, science journalist James Nestor explores a variety of breathwork techniques and concludes that at the very least, learning to breathe properly will strengthen your sinuses, stretch your lungs, and restore your body’s equilibrium.)

Out of her conviction to make wellness more accessible, Kotb started Joy 101, a wellness venture built around practical, affordable pathways to a healthier, more fulfilling life. She envisioned it as a multichannel platform with in-person retreats and a personalized mobile app. The first retreat at a resort in Austin, Texas attracted 150 women from around the country for a weekend of guest speakers, wellness workshops, and live music. Experiencing the energy and witnessing the relationships formed between participants confirmed to Kotb that she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

The Price of Wellness

Wellness is the holistic pursuit of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being to achieve harmony and balance. It’s grown in popularity, with the global industry valued at over $6 trillion, offering everything from IV vitamin drips to cryotherapy chambers, detox teas, and oxygen bars.

Some are pushing back against the “wellness industrial complex,” arguing that many wellness products and services are backed by marketing instead of science. Others contend that wellness has become another status marker—something that’s increasingly available to those who can afford expensive tools and retreats rather than something that’s universally accessible.

While Kotb’s app is a part of the wellness industry, her emphasis on tools like breathwork, journaling, and meditation reflects what writers have been saying for centuries: The best wellness practices—enough sleep, exercise, proper breathing, and connection—are those that are simple, consistent, and free.

Part 2: How to Jump and Find Joy

As Kotb’s experiences illustrate, jumps often lead to better things—even when you initially stumble. However, many people are afraid to take a leap toward a new phase in life. In this section, we’ll discuss Kotb’s advice to help you prepare for a jump, make your landing smoother, and ultimately find joy.

1. Embrace Change and Trust Your Timing

Kotb says the first step is accepting that change isn’t an occasional disruption to a stable life; rather, it’s the engine of a meaningful one. She argues that instead of waiting for something to go wrong before making a move, you can jump toward something better at any time. For example, you might end a relationship on good terms when neither you nor your partner is growing anymore rather than waiting for resentment to build or for a big fight to happen.

(Shortform note: In The Next Day, Melinda French Gates expands on the idea of change, saying it’s inevitable and universal, and we should see it as a natural part of the human experience. She writes specifically about transitions, changes that involve leaving behind familiar territory and adapting to new realities, often with a period of uncertainty in between. To know when it’s time to make such a change, she recommends listening to your inner voice—your authentic self governed by your core values, needs, and aspirations. You can access this by creating regular stillness, paying attention to your body, looking for recurring thoughts or feelings, and asking questions like “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?”)

Kotb also says that you have to stay open so that you recognize when the right moment for a change arrives. For example, she didn’t leave NBC because she was burned out or dissatisfied, but because she recognized that she’d reached a natural summit in her professional life, and it was time to move forward.

(Shortform note: Kotb says you should stay open so you can recognize when the time is right to make a change. But in When, Daniel Pink says you can be intentional about your timing: Make the most of the phenomenon known as the “fresh start effect,” when we feel more optimistic and capable and are thus more primed to act. He recommends taking advantage of temporal landmarks as built-in opportunities for change—these are the moments that signal the end of one thing and the start of another, like a new year, a birthday, or even just a Monday.)

2. Be Radically Honest—With Yourself and Others

Kotb says you have to be radically honest and say what you want out loud—even if it’s just to yourself at first. Voicing your desire makes it real, transforming it from a private wish to an active pursuit. For example, being honest about wanting to be a mom set Kotb’s adoption process in motion; being honest with an NBC network executive about wanting to be on the TODAY show opened up a new path for her.

(Shortform note: Kotb says she was able to move forward because she was honest about wanting to be a mom and to pivot in her career. However, what if the problem isn’t that you aren’t honest about what you want but that you lack clarity due to the number of things you want to explore? In The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz argues that having too many choices can leave you indecisive—when everything feels possible, it becomes harder to distinguish preference from noise, and you might delay committing to something altogether. He recommends limiting your choices so that they’re more manageable and your next move becomes clearer.)

Kotb says that honesty comes with vulnerability—the willingness to be seen as you are. Being truthful about what you want means dropping the carefully constructed narratives we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable truths. Kotb argues that far from being a weakness, vulnerability is what allows us to act with courage and to relate with others authentically.

(Shortform note: Like Kotb, author Brené Brown says that vulnerability isn’t a weakness but a strength: In The Power of Vulnerability, she explains that it requires more courage to share something true about yourself than to stay silent and isolated out of fear of what others might think. She adds that vulnerability is also one of the pillars of wholehearted living, a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness, of believing that you are enough.)

One featured personality Kotb cites who demonstrates vulnerability is actress Viola Davis. She spent decades erasing the most painful chapters of her early life from the story she told about herself—growing up in poverty, experiencing hunger and domestic violence, and internalizing a deep sense of racial shame. But Davis says that protecting herself from the pain of her past also cut her off from the fullness and vitality that comes with owning her story. It was only when she chose to go public with her full, unvarnished account (in her memoir Finding Me and in interviews) that genuine healing became possible.

(Shortform note: Davis is a film, television, and theater actress who’s received critical acclaim for her performances in The Help, Doubt, How to Get Away With Murder, and Fences. She’s the first Black woman to achieve the “Triple Crown of Acting” with an Academy Award, an Emmy, and Two Tony Awards. In Finding Me, she emphasizes the importance of self-love in her healing. She writes that in order to get over her struggles with self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy rooted in racism and trauma, she had to embrace her authentic self, celebrate her unique qualities, and stop seeking validation and approval from external sources.)

3. Plan Carefully and Take Baby Steps

Making a jump doesn’t mean you should be reckless. Kotb stresses that the most successful jumps are those that are grounded in deliberate, patient preparation. She recommends honing your skills, seeking out people who can guide you, and—where necessary—building a financial cushion so that when the right moment comes, you can take the leap with more confidence than fear.

(Shortform note: In Designing Your Life, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans write that you can use even more deliberate preparation to help ensure that you land on your feet. They encourage you to consider multiple paths to happiness and fulfillment in both your career and life. To do this, you should assess your life, identify actionable problems, define your priorities, look for numerous activities that feel good, formulate ideas to expand your possibilities, find support, and pursue exploratory experiences.)

Kotb offers practical planning advice from several successful people. For instance, she cites entrepreneur Sahil Bloom’s 30-for-30 approach: Dedicate 30 minutes a day for 30 straight days to build the foundation for your new direction. She also highlights TV personality Bethenny Frankel, who says you don’t have to go all-in on a change at once—Frankel suggests keeping your day job, setting aside a percentage of your paycheck, and spending an hour a day on your dream, letting it grow until it’s ready to take over.

(Shortform note: Bloom says his 30-for-30 approach is effective because 30 minutes is doable for most people and lowers the barrier to getting started, 30 days is long enough to feel substantive and sustained, and the resulting 900 total minutes of effort can produce meaningful results. Meanwhile, Frankel’s strategy of making incremental changes aligns with Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s advice for exploring new paths. In Tiny Experiments, she writes that instead of overcommitting to a goal, you should make small-scale, purposeful commitments designed to help you investigate possibilities and gather insights with minimal risk.)

4. Find Your People

Kotb argues that no one jumps alone, and you should seek out role models—those who’ve successfully made a similar leap. Seeing someone else who’s navigated a similar transition makes the unknown feel less intimidating. For example, whenever she had to move to a new city for work, she thought about her parents’ big leap from Cairo to the US to reassure her. When she was considering adoption, she was inspired by actress Sandra Bullock, who had adopted a child later in life, much like Kotb was considering doing.

(Shortform note: Sandra Bullock adopted two children: her son Louis in 2010 and her daughter Laila in 2015. Not only did she model adoption in middle age, but also how to maintain a career while doing so. Aside from looking to family members or famous personalities for inspiration, as Kotb did, you can also consider other avenues for guidance, particularly if you’re aiming for a professional jump. In The Motivation Myth, Jeff Haden recommends finding and emulating a high-achieving professional—not a coach who’s paid to cheer you on, but an accomplished person who’ll explain what it takes to succeed and expect you to do it. Study how this person achieved what you’re after and follow the steps they took to success.)

Kotb also stresses the importance of having a community that provides support as you go through transitions. For example, her friend’s 80-year-old Aunt Harriet helped Kotb shed the shame she was carrying about her post-mastectomy body: Aunt Harriet showed Kotb her scars, giving Kotb the courage to show her own and helping her come to terms with her new body. Another example Kotb cites is author and motivational speaker Gabby Bernstein, who says a key part of her recovery from addiction was finding a sober community.

(Shortform note: In The Next Day, Melinda French Gates explains that having a community is important because no one transitions well in isolation. Transitions challenge your sense of identity and precipitate strong emotions that can cloud your thinking, so a community can give you an objective, outside perspective. This support network can also provide emotional validation to normalize your experience and a balanced perspective when your emotions are intense. Having a community is especially important for those who’ve undergone a mastectomy—a procedure that takes a huge emotional and physical toll—as well as those recovering from addiction like Bernstein, since they’re more vulnerable to stress, cravings, and relapse on their own.)

5. Cultivate Joy Intentionally

Kotb argues that you don’t have to wait until you make a big change before experiencing joy. Instead, joy is something you can access and cultivate every day. She cites Harvard Business School professor Arthur Brooks, who identifies four areas as the pillars of a happy life: faith, family, friends, and work. Brooks argues that giving consistent attention to these four areas is how we move from occasionally feeling happy to living a genuinely happy life.

Kotb offers strategies to cultivate daily joy. First is daily meditation: Even just five minutes of it can ground you and give you a sense of clarity throughout the day. Second, try journaling or visualization, which offer doorways into the kind of self-awareness that makes intentional living possible. Third, protect your personal time, and use it to read, try something new, or connect with a friend. Fourth, celebrate small moments: Joy is almost always closer than we think, hiding in plain sight in an ordinary day. For Kotb, it’s in the walk to school with her daughters or a homemade pie from a neighbor.

How to Cultivate Joy, According to Spiritual Leaders

Kotb cites Brooks’s pillars of a happy life as well as some daily strategies to cultivate joy. Different spiritual traditions add another dimension to our understanding of joy. In The Book of Joy, Archbishop Desmond Tutu (an Anglican) and the Dalai Lama (the head of Tibetan Buddhism) emphasize that joy doesn’t depend on external circumstances—focusing on external sources of happiness leads to a great disconnection from other people and an increased attachment to things beyond your control.

Instead, they outline eight pillars that lead to a more joyful life:

• Perspective: having a wider and more holistic view in which we’re able to look at the world through multiple lenses, not just our own

• Humility: understanding that we’re all flawed, and therefore no one is better or more important than anyone else

• Humor: laughing at the ridiculous and unexpected situations—and at yourself

• Acceptance: letting go of the desire to change what you can’t control

• Forgiveness: the deliberate choice to let go of feelings of anger or vengeance toward someone who’s harmed you

• Gratitude: accepting and appreciating what exists without focusing on what you wish were different

• Compassion: the desire to alleviate another person’s suffering

• Generosity: acting in service to others

Kotb also cites neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki, who suggests physical movement as a way to cultivate daily joy. Suzuki’s research revealed that even 10 minutes of daily movement triggers a cascade of neurochemical changes in the brain that support cognitive and emotional health. Suzuki’s own experience corroborates this. Recovering from burnout after years of working at an untenable pace, she began exercising regularly at the gym. Not only did Suzuki feel better emotionally, but her memory sharpened, and her focus and work improved.

The Benefits of Movement

Kelly McGonigal explains the science behind the joy that comes from moving your body, as exemplified by Suzuki’s research. In The Joy of Movement, McGonigal writes that after about 20 minutes of moderate exercise, your body releases endocannabinoids—the body’s natural version of cannabis-like compounds—leading to feelings of euphoria, reduced pain perception, and a sense of calm and focus. Your brain also releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and motivation.

Scientists believe we developed these neurological incentives as a survival mechanism, helping our ancestors persist through fatigue during extended hunts. McGonigal says that to get even more benefits out of movement, do it with a group, and do it in nature.