PDF Summary:Joyspan, by Kerry Burnight

Many of us dread aging—we associate it with loss, decline, and loneliness, believing that life inevitably gets worse as we get older. But our fears don’t tell the full story. In Joyspan, gerontologist Kerry Burnight argues that anyone can learn to embrace aging joyfully. In doing so, you lengthen what she calls your “joyspan”—the number of years you maintain optimism and a sense of fulfillment. She offers several research-backed strategies for lengthening your joyspan and explains how this is key to living a long, healthy life.

Our guide explores Joyspan in two parts. First, we’ll define joy and joyspans, explain how joy changes as you age, and discuss the relationship between joy, health, and longevity. Then, we’ll explore six key strategies for finding joy as you age. We’ll also examine the science of aging and anti-aging strategies, and we’ll describe other experts’ advice for living the happiest, healthiest, and longest life possible.

(continued)...

Burnight provides two methods you can use to develop a healthy mindset.

Method #1: Stay Positive

Staying positive means being mindful of the stories you tell yourself and choosing optimism whenever possible. For example, say you notice that you often denigrate yourself for getting old—you tell yourself that you’re too slow, too forgetful, or past your prime. Instead of accepting these thoughts as truth, challenge them and shift your focus to the strengths you still have and the opportunities that remain. Burnight explains that making the conscious choice to focus on growth and possibility helps you strengthen resilience and expand your joyspan.

(Shortform note: Like Burnight, Seligman argues in Learned Optimism that disputing your pessimistic beliefs can help you develop a more optimistic mindset. He recommends that you consider whether the stories you tell yourself are true or helpful. In some cases, they might be true—for example, it might be true that you’re slower than you used to be. But this belief may not be helpful if it leads you to give up on challenges, overlook your remaining abilities, or focus only on limitations instead of possibilities. If that’s the case, try to come up with a perspective that is helpful. For example, instead of telling yourself you’re too slow to continue your yearslong running routine, reframe it as an opportunity to explore other forms of exercise.)

Method #2: Be Proactive

You won’t be able to conjure a healthy mindset out of thin air—it takes time, dedication, and proactive maintenance. So, Burnight recommends carefully monitoring your mindset and strategically tweaking it when necessary. This might look like keeping a journal that tracks your daily moods and moments of joy—by writing these things down, you make it easier to notice negative patterns and catch joylessness before it spins out of control. When you do notice a problem, come up with a plan to address it: Maybe you need to invest more effort into one of the other strategies for lengthening your joyspan, or maybe you need to seek social support or help from an expert.

(Shortform note: Research supports the idea that tracking your mood builds greater emotional self-awareness, which can help you identify patterns and take proactive steps to boost your mood. But it’s important not to fall into the trap of toxic positivity, where you suppress negative emotions because you feel like you should always be happy. Experts say it’s OK to have a bad day, and when you do, you should accept and process the difficult emotions you experience. Forcing yourself to be happy will only backfire—it leaves your negative feelings unresolved, which can amplify them over time.)

Strategy #2: Maintain Your Physical Health

Since your physical health influences how much joy you feel as you age, Burnight advises you to start making healthy choices as soon as you can. If you’re young, this will make the aging process go more smoothly; if you’re already feeling the not-so-fun effects of aging, maintaining your physical health will ameliorate some of those challenges. The most crucial measures Burnight recommends for maintaining good health include:

• Daily exercise: A combination of balance and flexibility training, cardio exercises, and strength training helps you stay mobile, maintain independence, and reduce the risk of injury.
• Healthy diet: A diet rich in protein and other nutrients keeps your muscles strong and protects your brain from cognitive decline.
• Adequate sleep: Getting seven to eight hours of sleep per night promotes the growth of new cells throughout your body and brain, which helps repair tissues and preserve function.
• Preventive healthcare: Regular check-ups and screenings can let you detect problems early, allowing you to address them before they significantly impact your health and joyspan.

Health Hacks From Other Experts

In addition to the health tips Burnight provides, consider trying these health hacks from anti-aging experts including Nicklas Brendborg (Jellyfish Age Backwards), David Sinclair (Lifespan), and Andrew Steele (Ageless).

1) Enhance your diet: Brendborg advises that you limit the number of calories you eat or practice intermittent fasting. Both approaches promote autophagy, a process where the body breaks down and recycles damaged or mutated cells—in effect, the body repairs itself. Autophagy naturally declines as you get older, so stimulating it through dietary control can help your body stay healthy. Sinclair adds that a vegetarian diet can create the same benefits.

2) Regulate stress: Earlier, we discussed how too much stress can weaken your immune system, accelerate cognitive decline, and increase your risk of mood disorders. But that doesn’t mean that you should avoid all stress. Both Brendborg and Sinclair say that you need to achieve hormesis—a balance in which small, manageable amounts of stress actually strengthen your body and mind. Regular exercise is one of the best ways to achieve this, so long as you don’t overwork yourself. Sinclair notes that exercising in low temperatures can boost the youthening effects of exercise (because cold is a stressor, too).

3) Get extra rest: Sleep is an irreplaceable part of a healthy lifestyle, but as Matthew Walker explains in Why We Sleep, the quality of your sleep deteriorates significantly as you age. By age 70, your sleep will be 90% less deep than it was when you were a teenager. If you struggle with poor quality sleep, you may be able to restore or supplement it with yoga nidra, an ancient meditative practice. It induces hypnagogia, the transitional state between wakefulness and sleep. Studies suggest that this practice promotes deep relaxation and may be an effective treatment for chronic insomnia. Some yogis say an hour of yoga nidra is as restful as four hours of sleep (but they don’t recommend foregoing sleep entirely).

4) Take precautions against disease: In addition to regular check-ups and screenings, you can take small, daily actions that protect you from infections and chronic illnesses. For example, Steele recommends taking care of your teeth to control the level of bacteria in your mouth—these bacteria can cause chronic inflammation, leading to disease. He also recommends taking precautions against skin cancer by wearing sunscreen and avoiding too much direct exposure to sunlight. Finally, Steele says you should further protect your health by keeping up with vaccinations, washing your hands, cooking food thoroughly, and monitoring your blood pressure and heart rate.

Strategy #3: Keep Evolving

Burnight argues that we’re happiest when we evolve—that is, when we keep discovering new strengths and possibilities as we age. In contrast, when we don’t feel like we’re moving forward, life can start to feel empty, pointless, or repetitive, which may leave us discouraged and restless. Burnight recommends that you keep evolving by following two steps: First, know your inner value; then, nurture your curiosity.

Step #1: Know Your Inner Worth

One of the foundations of aging well is learning to explore and appreciate your internal qualities—defining yourself by what’s inside you rather than by external factors like your career, family, money, or appearance. Doing so builds what Burnight calls identity resilience: the ability to maintain a stable, positive sense of self, even as the roles you play in life shift. This is important because throughout life, your external roles inevitably change—for example, when you retire, you lose your professional role. If your identity is tied to external roles, these changes can be destabilizing, but if you root yourself in your internal qualities and values, external shifts won’t negatively affect your self-perception.

(Shortform note: If you struggle to recognize your internal value, or if you define yourself purely in terms of the external roles you play, then you may have internalized societal messages that equate worth with productivity, status, or appearance. These messages tell you that you need to earn love and acceptance—for example, by playing the “dutiful daughter” or “high-earning provider” role in your family. Psychologists say that with this mindset, you’ll never feel like enough. External validation is fleeting—your sense of worth rises and falls with others’ opinions or your ability to meet certain standards, leaving you in a constant cycle of striving and self-doubt. Therefore, you must learn to love yourself for who you are, not what you do.)

Recognizing and appreciating your internal qualities also helps you come to terms with changes in your appearance. Burnight explains that many older adults struggle with this and cling to youthful looks as a measure of worth, which often leads to disappointment and frustration. It’s far more powerful to embrace yourself as you are and focus on inner traits.

(Shortform note: Your appearance-related concerns about aging may be deep-seated, especially if you’re a woman. Research suggests that girls start worrying about aging as teenagers (and sometimes even as tweens). These worries can lead to early adoption of beauty practices like “baby Botox” and expensive skincare products, which, ironically, can damage the skin and contribute to premature aging. Psychologists say this is rooted in cultural norms that equate beauty with youth, particularly for women, and that the first step toward unlearning these norms is to acknowledge them—then, you can reject that narrative and replace it with healthier alternatives, such as Burnight’s advice to embrace your inner qualities.)

One way to cultivate a sense of your internal value, Burnight says, is by keeping a gratitude journal in which you record one thing you’re thankful for each day. This shifts your focus from things that you’ve lost—like external roles and looks—to what you still have, including the internal qualities that make you valuable. Over time, this practice reinforces the sense of inner worth that underpins identity resilience so you can embrace yourself as you are.

(Shortform note: To get the most out of gratitude journaling, experts recommend digging into the details of what you’re grateful for. For example, instead of writing that you’re grateful for your dog, write about how you’re grateful for the laughter and physical exercise your dog provides you with. Experts also recommend focusing on the connections you’re grateful for, since these are more meaningful and enriching than material objects. Finally, they recommend writing about what you’re grateful you don’t have. For example, maybe you appreciate that since retiring, you no longer have a difficult daily commute.)

Step #2: Nurture Your Curiosity

Once you know your inner value, Burnight says you should lean into your natural curiosity, which fuels continued evolution as you age. Curiosity comes in two forms: a hunger for new information and a desire to experience new things. Both are powerful drivers of vitality because they keep your brain engaged and flexible by stimulating neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to form new connections and reorganize itself. Curiosity also strengthens neurons in the hippocampus, a region of your brain associated with memory and learning (important functions to preserve as you age).

To make curiosity a regular habit, create open-ended opportunities for discovery. Burnight clarifies that you don’t have to define rigid or ambitious learning goals; just give yourself permission to try something new that sparks your interest. To guide your exploration, reflect on your deeper values: Have you lived in alignment with them? What goals still matter to you? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? By framing curiosity around these big questions, you ensure that your evolution continues in ways that feel purposeful and fulfilling.

Becoming a Lifelong Learner

In The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John C. Maxwell argues that you should never stop learning because, like Burnight, he believes you’re happier when you’re evolving. To become a lifelong learner, Maxwell recommends that you:

1) Practice curiosity in two ways. First, always ask why—in other words, view every experience you have as a learning opportunity. You can apply this even to the most routine experiences: For example, while making your daily coffee, you might wonder why you developed this habit and why millions of people around the world share it. Second, Maxwell says you should seek out new and unusual opportunities and be open to diverse perspectives. This helps you expand your thinking and overcome barriers to learning.

2) Choose good mentors. This could mean seeking guidance from peers who have navigated similar life transitions, experts in areas you want to explore, and even younger people who bring fresh perspectives. Mentors can provide insight, motivation, and accountability, helping you to continue growing and learning at any stage of life.

3) Reflect on successes and failures. Looking back on your life experiences can help you recognize the lessons you’ve learned and apply them in the future, helping you continue personal growth in your later years. Reviewing your life experiences with a learner’s mindset may also promote neuroplasticity in your hippocampus, the part of the brain Burnight says is important to strengthen for continued cognitive health. In Moonwalking With Einstein, Joshua Foer explains that the hippocampus is involved in long-term memory—and that the more you activate this part (or any part) of your brain, the better it will function.

Strategy #4: Adjust to Unavoidable Change

Burnight explains that major change is unavoidable as you age. You might lose some meaningful parts of life, like relationships and your ability to live on your own, while gaining others, like grandchildren or new opportunities to explore your passions during retirement. Burnight emphasizes that the key to a longer, more joyful life is adjusting to these changes constructively. This means embracing rather than avoiding change and using healthy coping strategies to navigate life’s transitions smoothly. Burnight lists several healthy coping mechanisms you can rely on; let’s explore three.

Coping Mechanism #1: Honor Your Emotions

When change involves a meaningful loss, you might experience profound grief. When you do, Burnight says, it’s important to honor your emotions instead of stuffing them down or pressuring yourself to get over them. Honoring your emotions allows you to process them, which helps you accept the change and move into the next stage of your life. To do this, take time to identify, sit with, and write about them. But don’t let yourself get too bogged down in them; instead, take breaks to reconnect with the world around you (for example, by stepping outside for a walk around the block). This way, you avoid becoming too overwhelmed by your feelings.

(Shortform note: In Life Is in the Transitions, Bruce Feiler recommends honoring your emotions through mourning rituals—this approach provides both processing time and breaks, as Burnight recommends. In individual rituals, you create or do something meaningful to acknowledge and reflect on your loss, such as keeping a memory journal to honor a late loved one. In community rituals, you get others involved in a meaningful activity, like throwing a retirement party to celebrate that transition. Finally, in renewal rituals, you make changes to your body, habits, or surroundings to usher in the next chapter of your life. For example, you might redesign your home or take up a new hobby when you become an empty nester.)

Coping Mechanism #2: Cultivate a Sense of Humor

Burnight emphasizes that humor is a powerful tool for navigating the challenges of aging. Being able to laugh at life’s ups and downs helps reduce stress, shift your perspective, and lighten the emotional load. Humor is also good for your physical health, since laughter has been shown to improve functioning in the cardiovascular system, the immune system, and the brain.

(Shortform note: Laughter strengthens the cardiovascular system by helping you pump more oxygenated blood, the immune system by helping you produce more antibodies, and the brain by reducing cortisol (a stress hormone that can damage the brain in high doses). Laughter also supports pain management and strengthens your core.)

To cultivate humor, Burnight says to first figure out what makes you laugh, whether that’s funny cat videos or a clown show. This trains your brain to pick up on humor, which you can then apply to life’s more stressful situations.

(Shortform note: Comedian Paul Osincup provides additional tips for cultivating a sense of humor in The Humor Habit. First, he recommends living in the present moment—if you’re busy dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you won’t be able to recognize funny moments as they take place. Second, Osincup says to be on the lookout for “gifts,” which are minor missteps you can easily turn into funny moments. For example, you might poke fun at yourself for mispronouncing a word. Finally, keep in mind the phrase “yes, and,” which is the foundation of improv comedy. “Yes” means you accept what happens at any given moment, while “and” means you look for opportunities to make the moment funnier.)

Coping Mechanism #3: Lean on Others

You might experience a change that exceeds your ability to cope with it on your own. When that happens, Burnight says, it’s important to lean on others. This could be your friends, family, or community members, or it might be a mental health professional, formal support group, or spiritual guide. Any of these people can help you meet your physical, emotional, or spiritual needs, which may restore your capacity for joy. For example, say you lose the ability to drive to church, which makes you feel isolated. If your grandson drives you to church, or if your church leaders travel to homebound members, this lets you maintain the spiritual practice and community connections that bring you joy.

When leaning on others, Burnight advises you to name your needs as explicitly as possible—explain what you’re struggling with and how they can assist you. Then, express your gratitude for the support you receive. Clear communication keeps your relationships strong and lets you avoid feeling like a bother—a common concern when asking for help.

Remember the Serviceberry

Botanist Robin Wall Kimmerer offers additional wisdom about leaning on others in The Serviceberry. She explains that nature is a gift economy where resources and care flow freely rather than transactionally, and every member of the ecosystem both gives and receives in ways that sustain the whole. For example, serviceberry trees produce abundant fruit that feeds birds, who then disperse the seeds. At the same time, the serviceberry’s flowers provide nectar to pollinators who enable the tree’s reproduction. These natural exchanges don’t demand immediate payback; they support mutually beneficial relationships that sustain the entire ecosystem, creating abundance for all participants.

When you think of yourself and others as part of nature, you can see that accepting help isn’t a weakness and doesn’t make you a burden; it’s a natural part of reciprocal relationships. This is true even when you reach an advanced age that makes it difficult to “give back” in the ways you once did. At that point, you’ve already contributed to supporting others, and it’s your turn to receive support gracefully, knowing that your past contributions and your presence in the community continue to nourish others in meaningful ways. In a sense, asking for help is a kind of contribution because helping others provides people with a sense of purpose, whether they’re a loved one or part of a more formal support system.

Kimmerer offers two tips on receiving resources and care from others gracefully, which can help you feel less guilty about asking for or accepting help: First, as Burnight also advises, be grateful for the gifts you receive from others. For example, if your grandson drives you to church, thank him and tell him how much it means to you. Second, try to give back if possible—this sustains the community that supports you. For example, you might share knowledge, stories, skills, or encouragement with your grandson on the drive to and from church.

Strategy #5: Prioritize Your Relationships

In addition to leaning on others in times of need, Burnight recommends prioritizing your relationships all the time. She explains that humans are inherently social creatures, and one of our basic needs is to feel that we belong. We also depend on each other for survival and flourishing—the people we know and love help us meet our needs, and we feel good because we help them meet theirs, too. If you neglect these crucial relationships, you’ll feel lonely and unfulfilled, which leads to poorer health outcomes.

(Shortform note: Research affirms that it’s a good idea to prioritize your relationships. In The Good Life, Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz explain that the single most important factor determining whether you flourish is your relationships. It’s the quality of these relationships that matters, not the quantity: You need close, supportive connections with others, and you need to interact with them often. As Burnight argues, these relationships prevent loneliness and act as a buffer against health-reducing stressors, including the challenges of aging. But Waldinger and Schulz note that relationships fade when you don’t intentionally nourish them; nourishing them may become more taxing when health issues, grief, and other age-related challenges arise.)

Burnight explains that during your later years, many of your most important relationships might be long-distance. For example, your children and grandchildren might live far away, or some of your friends might live in assisted living facilities. These relationships can be trickier to maintain, but you can stay connected by scheduling intentional time to be together. This may require leveraging technology—for example, if you used to connect with your friend over games of mahjong, you could find an online equivalent that you can play using your phones. If you need assistance learning to use technology, Burnight says you can often find resources at your local library or senior center.

(Shortform note: In Irresistible, Adam Alter cautions you to beware of pseudo-connections: long-distance relationships that are lacking in substance. He argues that technology-mediated interactions are no substitute for the real thing, but other experts say they’re still valuable, especially if there’s no other way to stay in touch with your loved ones. Still, it’s important to connect in meaningful ways (like time spent together playing a game or talking on the phone) rather than relying on superficial interactions (like brief texts and social media likes). Your local library or senior center can help you use technology to maintain these meaningful connections, or help you build new ones through social activities like book, film, and craft clubs.)

Burnight stresses that you can make new connections at any age. Many older adults lack close friends and other meaningful relationships, like romantic partners. This may be because they invested more in other aspects of their lives, like their children or career, when they were younger. Or, perhaps the people they were closest to have grown seriously ill or died. If you find yourself in this situation, look for ways to make new connections. Burnight recommends that you try:

• Connecting in small ways with the strangers you see every day, like the people who deliver your groceries
• Reaching out to former friends and acquaintances you’ve drifted away from
• Meeting people online through social media, forums, and dating apps

Making New Connections as an Older Adult

Studies suggest that older adults are particularly susceptible to loneliness—as many as one in three reported feeling lonely and isolated in 2024. Making new connections isn’t always easy for older adults, especially for those with health problems or disabilities that limit their mobility or ability to participate in social activities.

For this reason, some advocate incorporating AI companions in elder care, arguing that they can provide emotional support, cognitive stimulation, and a comforting presence to those who struggle to maintain or find new social connections. For example, AI chatbots or robotic pets can engage older adults in conversation, remind them to take medications, or simply offer companionship when human contact is limited. But others point out that AI companions offer only the illusion of connection and that relying too heavily on them could deepen social isolation. These critics argue that nothing can or should replace real human-to-human interaction.

For older adults seeking to make new connections, David Brooks offers some advice in How to Know a Person. First, he says you must make others feel seen and valued. For example, you might strike up a conversation with the person who delivers your groceries about how their day is going or whether they enjoy their work. You should also dig deeper into people’s life stories when appropriate—for example, by asking someone how their culture or ancestors shaped their life. This helps you understand them better and start building the emotional intimacy that creates strong relationships. In addition to helping you form new connections, these tips can also help you restore connections with people you’ve drifted away from.

Strategy #6: Help Others

Burnight’s final strategy for enhancing joy as you age is helping others. She explains that giving your time, skills, or support makes your life feel more meaningful, which increases your happiness and improves your physical health. Also, acts of generosity often spark a ripple effect, inspiring others to give in turn. As a result, helping others can foster a more connected, positive community—one you’ll benefit from directly as you lean on others more in your later years. Helping others can also make you feel proud of yourself when you consider the legacy you’ll leave behind after you die.

To make helping others a core part of your life, Burnight recommends visualizing your legacy: Imagine how you’d like people to remember you after you pass away. Let this vision guide your choices about where to invest your time and energy. For example, if you want people to remember you as someone who showed up for others, you might prioritize mentoring, volunteering, or consistently helping friends and colleagues when they’re struggling.

Other Paths Toward Helping Others

Other thinkers agree with Burnight that helping others improves your quality of life. For example, in Life Is in the Transitions, Bruce Feiler explains that supporting others can help you navigate life’s inevitable changes more smoothly. For many, braving change feels more manageable when you can connect your experiences to something larger than yourself—a cause, like helping others, that guides your actions. Studies suggest that helping others is particularly important for older adults, as it can restore the sense of purpose that we tend to lose as we age out of the roles we once held (in our careers, our families, and so on).

To make helping others a core part of your life as Burnight recommends, try implementing the following advice from other thinkers:

Find your ikigai. In Ikigai, Héctor García and Francesc Miralles argue that everyone has an ikigai—the Japanese word for “reason for being.” Your ikigai sits at the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for—though this last consideration may not apply if you’re retired. Ultimately, ikigai is a lens for deciding how to contribute to society in a way that feels authentic to you. By identifying where your passions and strengths intersect with society’s needs, you can choose the avenue that enables you to make the greatest difference.

Join a community. In The Art of Community, Charles Vogl explains that being part of a like-minded community can help you live out your values more consistently. So, if you value generosity and want to make it a bigger part of your life, you might join a volunteer group, a faith community, or even an online network dedicated to acts of service. Immersing yourself in a community of people who share your values not only provides encouragement and accountability but also magnifies your impact—together, you can achieve more than you could alone (like the ripple effect Burnight describes). If your community makes a positive impact on the world around you, this could boost the pride you feel about your legacy.

Practice universal loving-kindness. In How to Be an Adult in Relationships, Buddhist psychologist David Richo argues that universal loving-kindness, or compassion for all living beings, is foundational to helping others. You can learn universal loving-kindness by practicing Richo’s GREAT model for healthy relationships, in which you offer loved ones gratitude, respect, engagement, affirmation, and tenderness, and then extend those offerings to others. Alternatively, you can practice loving-kindness meditation, sending well wishes to everyone in the world. This option might be a more accessible way of helping others if you’re housebound or struggling with health problems that prevent you from volunteering.