PDF Summary:How to Be a Good Creature, by Sy Montgomery

What can our relationships with other animals teach us? That’s the question naturalist Sy Montgomery addresses in her memoir, How to Be a Good Creature. She explores the lessons about life and love she learned from various animals who touched her life, from a tiny pinktoe tarantula in French Guiana to a beloved 750-pound pet pig named Christopher.

In our guide, we’ll examine how the wisdom and companionship of animals helped Montgomery find her calling as a traveler and nature writer, appreciate animals and people in new ways, and cultivate love and community. These animals taught her how to be more curious, compassionate, friendly, loving, and much more—in other words, they taught her how to be a good creature. We’ll also discuss some of the science and history behind our relationships with other animals, along with ways you can apply the lessons Montgomery learned to your life.

(continued)...

The Chicken-Stealing Ermine

Another animal who altered Montgomery’s perspective was an ermine—a member of the weasel family—who killed and stole one of her beloved chickens. One winter day, Montgomery found one of her chickens dead in their coop. When she tried to pick the chicken up, she came face-to-face with a snowy white ermine—the animal who had killed the hen.

(Shortform note: Ermines and other members of the weasel family are typically more helpful than harmful to human interests. They most often eat rodents such as mice, rabbits, and voles—animals that can become pests if unchecked. Typically, ermines only prey on chickens when other food sources are scarce, such as during winter, when the ermine killed Montgomery’s hen.)

The ermine stared back at Montgomery as if challenging her. She expected to feel anger toward the ermine because she loved the hen it killed. Instead, Montgomery found herself admiring it for its impressive feat and its fierce bravery in the face of a much larger creature like herself.

The ermine reminded Montgomery of her mother. Like the ermine, Montgomery’s mother had caused Montgomery a lot of hurt—she could be ill-tempered, controlling, and cruel as a parent. However, she was also a woman who escaped poverty, went to college, and built a career and a family at a time when societal norms made it difficult for a woman to do any of those things. Montgomery’s mother and the ermine were both individuals who succeeded against unlikely odds through their daring and determination.

After this experience, Montgomery’s perspective on her mother—who had died earlier that year—changed. She realized that she missed her mother deeply, despite their difficult relationship. Likewise, she found a new sense of admiration for all that her mother had accomplished.

The Connection Between Forgiveness and Empathy

By admiring the chicken-stealing ermine and thus learning to see her difficult mother in a new way, Montgomery demonstrated the connection between forgiveness and empathy. Some experts argue that to forgive someone, you must be able to empathize with them enough to understand the context surrounding their harmful actions. When you understand why they behaved as they did, you can offer them compassion and forgiveness, even though they hurt you.

Montgomery was able to offer the ermine compassion because she understood that from the animal’s point of view, killing her chicken was a means to survive. Similarly, compassion allowed her to empathize with her mother—she understood her mother’s harmful behaviors in the context of a lifetime of hard work and struggle.

However, some experts also note that extending forgiveness and compassion doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior or automatically welcoming the harmful person back into your life. It’s primarily a practice to allow you to heal and let go of some of your hurt.

Cultivating Love and Community

After moving frequently as a child due to her father’s military career, Montgomery felt truly at home for the first time in her life when she and her husband Howard settled into their farmhouse in a small New Hampshire town. It had eight acres and a barn, and it served as her home base between her research travels.

(Shortform note: If you travel frequently like Montgomery, you may still benefit from a home base as she did. Having a place to return to between your travels allows you to establish a routine, which offers a sense of normalcy and security when moving around gets too tiring. It can also help you stay healthy—when traveling constantly, you may become physically and mentally exhausted. When you have a home to go back to, you can spend time resting and building healthy habits, such as exercising and cooking healthy meals.)

In this final section, we’ll explore the animals who shared Montgomery’s New Hampshire home. These animals taught Montgomery important lessons about love and community. First, we’ll discuss how two border collies she adopted each introduced a new type of love into her life. Then, we’ll look at her special relationship with her pet pig, Christopher, and the community he helped her build.

The Border Collies

In their many years at the farmhouse, Montgomery and her husband Howard rescued several border collies. Let’s look at the lessons about love that Montgomery learned from two of them: Tess and Sally.

Tess

According to Montgomery, her first border collie Tess taught her lessons about how to trust others, be resilient, and love life even when your circumstances change. Montgomery and her husband got Tess from a rescue when she was two years old. By that point, Tess already had a difficult past, but she was a loving and active dog.

(Shortform note: Rescue dogs can bring a wealth of love and joy into your life, but like Tess, many of them come from difficult backgrounds. To help a rescue dog adjust to life in your home, consider the following tips: First, practice patience as much as possible. Dogs who’ve had bad experiences with people in the past may take longer to settle down and trust you. Additionally, keep their routine as consistent as possible to help them feel secure. If you can, feed them, walk them, and play with them at the same times every day so they learn what to expect from you.)

Tess loved to chase frisbees in the field surrounding Montgomery’s home. Montgomery particularly enjoyed playing frisbee with her at night—Montgomery would throw the frisbee blindly in the dark, and Tess would always find it with her canine night vision and bring it back. Tess guided Montgomery patiently through the dark, and they developed a bond of love and trust through this ritual.

(Shortform note: Developing a similar ritual of play with your dog can help you create a bond as close as the one Montgomery had with Tess. Beyond the beneficial mental stimulation and exercise that play offers your dog, it also prompts the release of the neurochemical oxytocin in both humans and dogs. Oxytocin encourages emotional connection and social bonds, so playing with your dog helps increase your feelings of love toward each other.)

As Tess got older, she lost her hearing and began to lose her vision, which meant she could no longer play frisbee as she had in the past. At first, Montgomery despaired over Tess’s new limitations, terrified of her dog’s mortality. However, she soon realized that Tess seemed to love her life just as much as she had before. Tess was content to switch roles with Montgomery on their nightly outings, allowing Montgomery to lead her around on walks in the dark.

(Shortform note: Many dogs will experience some vision loss, hearing loss, and mobility issues as they age, so you may need to find new ways to keep them active and engaged, as Montgomery did with Tess. Short, frequent walks can keep them at a healthy weight and help them stay mobile. Additionally, you can introduce new toys like puzzle feeders that keep them entertained without straining them too much physically.)

Tess’s contentment just to be around the people she loved showed Montgomery how to appreciate the simple joys of life. (Shortform note: Research suggests that focusing on gratitude for the positive things in your life during challenging times—as Montgomery demonstrated—can greatly improve your mental health. Some studies found that just one instance of experiencing gratitude reduced depression symptoms by up to 35% and increased feelings of happiness by up to 10%. Regularly practicing gratitude can also help prevent mental health struggles such as anxiety and depression when you’re experiencing difficult circumstances.)

Additionally, the trust and affection Tess showed on their nighttime walks was a type of love Montgomery had never experienced before. Tess trusted her enough to entirely depend on her, and the collie’s strength of spirit through all her difficulties moved Montgomery deeply.

(Shortform note: As Montgomery experienced, the bond you have with your pet can strengthen your mental health. Caring for your pet and building trust with them can create feelings of fulfillment and purpose. Their unconditional love can also improve your self-esteem—pets can respond to your emotions, offer comfort, and reduce feelings of loneliness.)

Sally

Sally was the second border collie Montgomery and Howard rescued. She was different from Tess in almost every way, but Montgomery still loved her—proving there’s no limit to the amount of love we can offer.

After Tess and Christopher (whom we’ll discuss in the next section) passed away, Montgomery went through a period of intense grief and depression. She couldn’t picture a future without them in her life, and she wasn’t ready to think about adopting another dog.

(Shortform note: Deciding when to get a new dog after your previous dog passes away can be difficult. Some experts say that it’s important for you to process your grief before adopting another dog. If you’re having a difficult time, a licensed counselor can help you work through the loss. It’s also important to consider the needs of any other pets you have before introducing a new dog. Think about whether a new dog will disrupt their lives even more, or if they could use a companion after losing their old friend.)

Montgomery’s reluctance to adopt another dog changed when she had a dream where Tess appeared to her and then transformed into a different border collie. Montgomery saw that as a sign that it was time to get a new dog, and she set out to find the collie from her dream. After a long search, she and her husband found a border collie at the same rescue they’d adopted Tess from. To Montgomery, it felt like fate, and she was certain that this was the dog from her dream.

(Shortform note: Some research suggests that dreams play an important role in the grieving process. One study revealed that people who dreamed of their lost loved ones found the dreams healing and were better able to accept death. A common type of grief dream is message dreams, which happen when a deceased loved one shows up in a dream to pass on information or show us something important. Montgomery’s dream of Tess falls into this category.)

They named the dog Sally, and she proved to be opposite from Tess in almost every way—she didn’t like to play fetch, and she loved to get into mischief and steal household items. Unlike Tess, who’d been more interested in playing than cuddling, Sally loved affection. Despite these differences, Montgomery loved Sally just as much as she loved Tess. In her unique way, Sally filled the hole that Tess had left, and she proved to Montgomery that her love had no limits—it only expanded to fit Sally.

(Shortform note: When you get a new dog, it’s natural to compare them with your previous pet. This can make it harder to bond with the new dog. If this is your experience, some experts suggest finding a moment to spend time with your new dog and tell them about your old dog. Even if it feels silly, it can be cathartic to tell them stories about your old dog that make you laugh and cry, and doing so brings your new dog into those memories. By sharing these experiences and emotions, you can begin to release them and make new memories with your new dog.)

Christopher the Pig

Finally, Montgomery’s pet pig—Christopher Hogwood—gave her a wealth of love, family, and community that she’d never experienced before. Chris was the runt of his litter, and Montgomery and her husband got him from a farmer close to their New Hampshire home. From the beginning, he had a boisterous, friendly personality. Montgomery became enamored with him.

(Shortform note: Chris’s outgoing personality represented his species well—pigs are generally friendly, curious, and intelligent animals. They’re skilled communicators, with over 20 distinct sounds they use to convey messages to each other (and to their human companions). They also have excellent memories, and they can learn complex commands.)

Chris’s open and loving personality helped Montgomery build a network of new friends. Chris enjoyed meeting new people, so he often broke out of his enclosure to visit the surrounding neighbors. By the time Montgomery arrived to lead him back home, the people he visited were always delighted by Chris. These interactions gave Montgomery a perfect entry point to get to know people—everyone was happy to talk about Chris.

(Shortform note: A lot of experts’ advice aligns with Montgomery’s experience that pets can help you make new friends. One study found that people with pets were 60% more likely than people who didn’t have pets to form new connections with others in their neighborhood. In particular, people who walked their dogs were more likely to have started a friendship because they connected with someone through their pet.)

Soon, Montgomery and Howard began inviting people to bring Chris their leftover food and watch him eat. She and Howard developed a particularly close relationship with a single mom who lived with her two daughters next door. The girls visited Chris often, and they became surrogate daughters for Montgomery and Howard, who didn’t have children of their own. Because of the love that Chris extended to everyone he met, Montgomery gained a nontraditional family. He showed her that family isn’t just based on having the same blood—or being the same species—and home is where you’re loved and accepted.

(Shortform note: The kind of family Chris helped Montgomery create is often called a chosen family. Many people who have difficult relationships with their blood relatives seek support and connection from friends. They form kinship groups that aren’t based on biology or the people who raised them—in other words, they choose a new family group. The term originally came from the LGBTQ community, but anyone may create a chosen family when their biological family doesn’t meet their needs.)