PDF Summary:Give to Grow, by Mo Bunnell

In professional settings, success often depends less on technical skills and more on your ability to build and maintain strong relationships. In Give to Grow, Mo Bunnell presents a strategic approach to developing business relationships by giving value first without expecting immediate returns. He argues that focusing your energy on key connections and consistently offering help will create a network of supporters who advance your career and business goals.

Bunnell explains how to distinguish between doing work and winning work—two activities that require different mindsets. He provides practical methods for deepening client relationships, managing your pipeline of opportunities, and using weekly planning rituals to stay focused on high-impact activities. This guide covers Bunnell's framework for strategic giving, including how to elicit client needs, secure commitment through small asks, and scale your relationship-building efforts for maximum return.

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(Shortform note: Bunnell’s point that your achievements will be determined by your relationships is supported by network theories of social capital. In Structural Holes, Ronald Burt argues that people who bridge gaps between otherwise disconnected groups gain a disproportionate advantage in promotions, idea adoption, and career outcomes.)

Applying the "Give and Receive" Method: Tactics and Implementation

Bunnell suggests that you craft your "Give to Grow" strategies to maximize influence and impact. To do this, you need to understand the six elements that drive influence: give-and-take, likableness, expertise, exclusivity, consensus, and dedication. 1. Reciprocity: The tendency to return favors to those who help us. 2. Likability: The tendency to agree with people we like. 3. Authority: The tendency to rely on authoritative figures, particularly during stressful periods. 4. Scarcity: The tendency to want items that are limited in availability. 5. Social Proof: The tendency to feel more at ease with major decisions when others in our vicinity also seem at ease. 6. Commitment: The tendency to persist in paths we embark on.

(Shortform note: While these six elements can be powerful drivers of influence, they may not always be effective in every context. For example, in collectivist cultures, group norms and obligations may override individual tendencies toward reciprocity or likability. Similarly, in highly regulated industries, scarcity may not be a significant factor if products or services are mandated by law. Understanding the specific cultural and situational context is crucial for determining which elements of influence will be most effective.)

Bunnell advises placing trust in others to boost your effectiveness, even when you're a bit more skilled at the task you're assigning. It’s more beneficial for ten people to perform a task at 80% of your skill level. In the short run, throughput is more than eight times greater, and in the future, practicing will enhance their skills, allowing you to concentrate on more important things.

The Limits of Trusting Others

Bunnell’s advice to trust others to perform tasks at 80% of your skill level is generally sound, but it doesn’t apply to every situation. In The Mythical Man-Month, Frederick P. Brooks Jr. famously stated, “Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.” He explains that in complex projects, the time spent coordinating and communicating with additional team members can outweigh the benefits of their contributions. This principle applies to any highly interdependent work, where the overhead of managing more people can reduce overall productivity.

Next, we will examine how to create momentum, deepen your connections with clients, and scale your investments.

Tactical Applications of Give to Grow

Bunnell introduces the concept of "Give to Grow" to create momentum and deepen client relationships. "Give to Get" describes a particular offer of assistance, like a complimentary, small project that strengthens the client relationship. It provides defined value, a set deadline, participation by designated individuals, and leads to an important subsequent phase. Giving to receive is an important step between proposing something novel and getting hired. They are incredibly valuable, which encourages clients to agree, and they're worthwhile for you.

(Shortform note: The economist George A. Akerlof wrote a famous paper in 1970 called "The Market for Lemons," which explains why buyers are often hesitant to pay a premium for high-quality goods or services. The problem is that buyers can't easily tell the difference between a high-quality product and a low-quality one before they buy. This uncertainty makes them reluctant to pay more, even if the product is worth it. Akerlof argues that warranties, brand names, and professional licensing help solve this problem by signaling quality.)

Next, we will explore how to elicit client needs, build rapport, strengthen relationships, and secure commitment.

Eliciting Client Needs & Building Rapport

Bunnell recommends posing queries to understand client requirements and build rapport. This demonstrates your concern for the client and their needs, which increases your appeal. It enables you to provide targeted solutions. Ask questions that are enjoyable to answer and follow up to show you’re listening and to dig deeper into their needs.

(Shortform note: To come up with questions that are enjoyable to answer, before each client meeting, review a recent success of theirs and prepare one question that invites them to tell the story of what made that success possible. This shows you care about their success and gives them a chance to share their expertise.)

Strengthening the Connection & Securing Commitment

Bunnell suggests using progressively increasing commitments to assess enthusiasm and further connections. These are low-risk, incremental actions that move the relationship forward, such as investing time, money, or influence. Escalating commitments help you determine if the other person is genuinely interested in working with you or just taking advantage of your free offers. They also guide your contributions to the partnership. To do this, ask the other person to do something small that shows their interest. If they agree, you'll be aware they’re engaged; if they hesitate, they’re not ready to commit.

Progressively Increasing Commitments in Consensual Cultures

While Bunnell’s approach of using progressively increasing commitments is effective in many contexts, it may not always accurately reflect a partner’s enthusiasm, especially in cross-cultural business relationships. In The Culture Map, Erin Meyer explains that in consensual cultures, decisions are made only after broad internal alignment is reached. This means that when you ask a partner to do something small that shows their interest, they may respond slowly, indirectly, or with apparent hesitation. This doesn’t necessarily indicate a lack of readiness to commit, but rather an ongoing internal decision-making process.

Relationship & Pipeline Management

Bunnell advises building mutually beneficial relationships by seeking guidance. People like to give advice, and by asking for it, you give them the satisfaction of helping you. This strengthens the bond and aids your progress. To do this, describe your goal and ask them, "How would you handle this situation if you were in my position?"

(Shortform note: Research supports Bunnell’s claim that asking for guidance strengthens relationships. In a series of experiments, participants who were asked for advice rated the advice-seeker as more competent and thoughtful than those who weren’t asked for advice. This effect held true even when the advice given was rejected, suggesting that the act of seeking advice itself boosts the advice-seeker’s perceived competence.)

Additionally, Bunnell recommends beginning modestly and expanding your investments. This approach lowers risk and accelerates your progress. You can test the waters before making a big commitment, and if the initial investment pays off, you can then scale up with certainty.

(Shortform note: In Investment Under Uncertainty, Avinash K. Dixit and Robert S. Pindyck argue that beginning modestly and expanding your investments can accelerate your progress. They explain that by making a series of smaller, reversible investments, you can wait for new information before committing more resources.)

Next, we will explore Bunnell’s recommendations for taking proactive steps to strengthen your connections and for handling your funnel and routine.

Proactive Relationship Actions

According to Bunnell, you should take proactive steps to strengthen your connections. The strongest relationships develop, growing and broadening over time. To excel at developing, you need to shift from a perfectionist mindset that prioritizes completing tasks to a mindset focused on earning the work. This involves taking risks and making offers that could lead to incremental advancements. Concentrate on the connection for the future, as your efforts will accumulate over time, leading to an unbeatable relational edge.

To do this, Bunnell suggests reserving time at the start of your day for work-related tasks when you have more energy. It'll be amazing when you finish them. While it might not always be possible, it can transform your approach, particularly for the active time you aim to dedicate to enhancing relationships.

What Does It Mean to “Earn the Work”?

“Earning the work” means proving yourself a safe, dependable choice so that when an opportunity arises, people already feel comfortable hiring you. This approach is about consistently demonstrating your value and reliability through your actions and interactions. By focusing on building trust and showcasing your expertise over time, you position yourself as the obvious choice when decisions are made. This strategy requires patience and persistence, as it involves gradually building a reputation for excellence and dependability. The key is to make every interaction count, ensuring that each step you take reinforces the perception that you are the right person for the job.

Pipeline & Routine Management

To handle your funnel, Bunnell recommends documenting and categorizing opportunities. Opportunities are actions that foster development and can be influenced by you, but they're not entirely under your control since another person's agreement is needed. They involve remunerated tasks, but also encompass actions such as delivering a speech at a conference, being selected to contribute to a periodical, or meeting a potential client. High achievers plan their opportunities by categorizing them as near-, mid-, and distant-future. Immediate opportunities involve things you’re currently in talks about and proposing. Medium-term opportunities build on your current work but remain undiscussed. Long-term opportunities involve needs you've identified that are new enough that you have to build interest, as they aren't tied to existing projects and don't have existing momentum.

(Shortform note: Bunnell’s advice to document and categorize opportunities by time horizon echoes the “Three Horizons of Growth” framework from The Alchemy of Growth. This model suggests that leaders must manage three distinct horizons of growth as a single portfolio: Horizon 1 focuses on extending and defending the existing core businesses, Horizon 2 is about building and scaling emerging ventures that can become the next core, and Horizon 3 consists of small, high-uncertainty options and experiments that explore fundamentally new business opportunities. Each horizon demands different metrics, risk appetites, and management disciplines, yet all three must receive deliberate attention and resources at the same time so the company can deliver current results, develop the next engines of growth, and systematically create options for the more distant future.)

High achievers arrange their opportunities in these time frames for a couple of reasons. First, it’s the only method to understand the strength of your pipeline across a broader timeframe. Second, by documenting them, you'll be more driven to take action on them.

(Shortform note: While Bunnell claims that organizing opportunities by timeframe is the only way to understand the strength of your pipeline, research on sales management suggests that there are other ways to assess pipeline health. For example, some experts recommend using stage-based metrics, which track the number of opportunities at each stage of the sales process, or activity-based metrics, which measure the number of sales activities (such as calls or meetings) completed within a given timeframe.)

Bunnell also suggests using the Most Important Things method to prioritize and manage your weekly tasks. MIT refers to "Most Important Things." The MIT approach is a weekly ritual that takes about 15 minutes. It allows you to concentrate on investments that have a long-term impact, ensure you stay responsible, and steadily advance your goals. It also helps you identify how you want to succeed that week. This strategy is effective because we naturally consider time in weeklong units, and goal setting links to peak performance. Short-term objectives are especially impactful, and weekly routines take advantage of "new beginnings."

(Shortform note: The MIT method is effective because it reduces decision fatigue. By spending 15 minutes each week to identify your most important tasks, you minimize the number of decisions you need to make throughout the week. This approach helps you conserve mental energy for the tasks that matter most. Decision fatigue can lead to poor choices and decreased productivity, so by front-loading your decision-making, you maintain higher levels of willpower and focus. This strategy ensures that your energy is directed toward meaningful work rather than being depleted by constant decision-making.)

The pseudo-set framework enables us to accomplish additional things, and rituals enhance our effectiveness and reduce stress. Completing three items marks a pattern. To do this, choose three tasks at the start of the week to serve as your MITs. Record them and allocate time in your schedule to complete them. Select your Most Important Things with the greatest potential for future impact. Adjust your effort to align with your capacity. Revise your Opportunity and Protemoi Lists. Look back on your performance last week: Did you accomplish none, a single MIT, a couple, or all of them? Select the trio of MITs you'll tackle next week by using the knowledge and opportunities from your scheduled meetings. Record them so they prompt you.

The Pseudo-Set Framework

The pseudo-set framework is a concept from behavioral science that suggests people are more motivated to complete a set of tasks when they perceive them as part of a whole, even if the set is arbitrary. This framework leverages our natural inclination to seek completion and closure, making it a powerful tool for enhancing productivity and goal achievement. The authors found that when tasks are grouped into a set, individuals are more likely to complete all tasks within that set, even if the grouping is arbitrary. This is because the human brain is wired to seek closure and completion, and the perception of an incomplete set creates a psychological tension that drives individuals to finish the remaining tasks. This effect is so strong that it can override other motivational factors, such as the perceived importance or difficulty of the tasks.