PDF Summary:Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah

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Before apartheid, blacks lived within different tribes, each with their own language; the two largest tribes were the Zulu and Xhosa. The pre-apartheid history of these tribes was volatile. When the Dutch came, the Zulu, known as fighters, engaged in savage battles, whereas the Xhosa, known to be more rational, tried to embrace the change and find an intellectual solution. Neither tribe was successful, and each blamed the other’s tactics for hindering their success.

During apartheid, these sentiments remained, but there was a common enemy in the white oppressors. However, when apartheid ended, that common enemy disappeared. The deeply ingrained rage and resentment were then turned toward each other. Both the Zulu and Xhosa, as well as other tribes, fought for supremacy in the new democracy. The result was further separation, creating an environment of violence, rather than one of unity and rebuilding.

The ending of apartheid signaled the beginning of what became known as the Bloodless Revolution. The streets ran heavy with the blood of black South Africans, but almost no white blood was shed. **In their fight for supremacy, an uprising of the Zulu and Xhosa, under the...

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The plight of the colored race during apartheid is a messy one. The government didn’t know how to classify colored people. To mitigate this, coloreds were granted second-class status, what was colloquially considered “almost white.” They had more privileges than blacks but not as many as whites. They were caught in the middle, teetering on the cusp of an almost-full life.

A Mother’s Protest

Patricia knew having a mixed child was a crime, but she saw it as her way of resisting the unjust laws.

Many aspects of Patricia’s life at that time were illegal. During apartheid, there were few jobs available for blacks. Men worked as manual laborers on farms, in factories, or in mines, and women worked in factories or as domestic workers. But Patricia was never one to conform.

As a young woman living in the township of Soweto with her family, she took a typing course. Skilled jobs or executive positions were reserved for whites, making her efforts seem futile. But the government, under pressure from international communities regarding the unjust nature of apartheid, rolled back the restrictions on labor in the 1980s. White business owners could now hire...

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Noah never enjoyed this arrangement, especially when he had serious business to do in the bathroom, because it was hot and infested with flies. So, one day, when everyone was out of the house, Noah came up with what he thought was a brilliant plan to make going number two more enjoyable: Noah spread newspaper on the kitchen floor and did his business.

It was only after beginning that he realized Koko was in her spot. She could smell it but couldn’t see him, and Noah tried to stay quiet so she couldn’t hear him. In a panic, knowing the type of beating he would get if his mother found out, he rolled up the paper and shoved it deep into the trash can.

What young Noah failed to realize was that the smell would permeate the house. When his mother and family returned, they discovered the package in the trash and freaked out. They believed they had been the victims of witchcraft and needed to rid the house of evil. This meant calling an emergency prayer meeting.

It should be noted that even though his family was deeply religious, they were like most black South Africans. **Most had adapted to the colonial religion of Christianity, but many also held on to older traditional...

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Speaking a different language than someone makes you an outsider. In contrast, speaking the same language makes them see you as being “one of us.” Therefore, in a world where skin color is meant to separate people, language can be used to bring people together.

Noah understood that language signified identity and community. As he grew older and realized the color of his skin would always make him different, Noah saw language as his only avenue for fitting in. He was inspired by the way languages had helped his mother move through the world and manage difficult situations. For instance, when a white store clerk told a security guard in Afrikaans to follow Patricia and make sure she didn’t steal, Patricia turned and, in perfect Afrikaans, told the clerk to follow her to show her where to find what she needed.

Noah learned many languages. He spoke English as his first language because his mother wanted him to have a leg up in society. He spoke Xhosa because that was his home language. He spoke Afrikaans because Patricia believed in knowing the language of your oppressor. He spoke other languages his mother had picked up as a way to survive. He spoke German because of...

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When Patricia was nine, she requested to live with her father. Her mother complied, but instead of taking her in, her father sent her to live with his sister in Transkei, the Xhosa homeland. She wouldn’t reunite with any of them for 12 years.

At her aunt’s house, she lived with 14 cousins in a hut, all from different parents. They were also children whose parents didn’t want them around or couldn’t afford them.

In Transkei, so little land had been allocated by the government, the residents were crammed in. There was no water or electricity. The land was overrun and the soil infertile. Money was scarce, so most families subsisted through low-level farming.

Patricia was only taken in to help work the fields. There was barely enough food for all the children to eat. When they did have food, she had to fight the others for it. When they didn’t, she would steal food from the animals: whatever scraps she could scrounge. Sometimes, she ate dirt just to feel something in her stomach.

The only saving grace in Transkei was the still-operational missionary school, where Patricia was able to learn English. She learned to read and write, and when she was old enough, she went to...

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Because of his behavior, Noah and his mother had a relationship akin to a detective and their target in films: a bitter rivalry but a high regard for each other’s prowess. When he was a kid, she could simply outsmart him or catch him easily for a beating. But as he got older, stronger, and more energetic, she had to come up with more savvy tactics to curb his antics.

One day, when they were shopping for groceries, Noah started nagging his mother to buy him a toffee apple. He followed her around the store begging and begging. Patricia ignored his whining until she was finished shopping. She finally told him to grab a toffee apple and meet her at the checkout line. Noah came back and set the apple on the counter, proudly telling the cashier to add it to his mother’s purchases.

Because Noah and his mother were so different in color, the cashier assumed they weren’t together. He told Noah to wait his turn. But Noah protested, saying Patricia was going to buy it. Patricia looked at him like he was a stranger and told the cashier that this poor colored boy must have lost his mother. She paid for her groceries and left the store. Noah, dumbfounded, ran after her in tears. When...

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Noah couldn’t stop crying about Fufi’s disloyalty. Patricia told him it didn’t matter that Fufi loved another boy. She was still his dog, and that’s all that mattered.

Noah calls this incident his first heartbreak, but he learned a valuable lesson. He learned that Fufi wasn’t cheating on him; she was just living a full life. At the end of the day, she always came home when it was time. He had thought of Fufi as his dog, but he understood that Fufi was just a dog who loved him and lived in his house.

This understanding would shape how he thought of relationships for the rest of his life. He knows that people in love do not own each other, and he has avoided falling into despair, as many of his friends have as adults. Whenever a friend is dealing with jealousy or betrayal, Noah comforts them and tells them the story of Fufi.

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The restaurant was a success. White people were curious about black people, and black people were curious about what the white people were curious about. This common intrigue outweighed the boundaries they were supposed to uphold. But some white people didn’t like these subversive establishments, and they petitioned to have Robert’s restaurant shut down.

At first, the inspectors tried to shut down the restaurant for health violations, but Robert, like most Swiss-Germans, was anything but unclean. Then, they mandated he have a separate toilet for each race of patron. This was an impossible task, and Robert wouldn’t comply. Eventually, he chose to close the restaurant, rather than pander to the government.

The Freedom To Be a Father

When apartheid ended, Robert moved to a newly segregated and eclectic area called Yeoville. No longer fearing prison, he could now take Noah to play in the nearby park with kids from various races. He and Noah would meet every Sunday afternoon at his house, which was great news for Noah, who got to skip black church.

Noah would celebrate his birthday with Robert each year, and Christmas as well. Noah loved Christmas with Robert...

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The Consequences of Bullying

There was a large mulberry tree in Eden Park that, like anywhere with a mulberry tree, the children frequently gleaned fruit from. Noah was one of these kids, but he always picked the berries alone. One day, a group of older colored boys came to the tree while he was playing. The leader of the pack pretended to be friendly, asking Noah to see his pile of berries. Hoping this kid wanted to be his friend, Noah showed the berries to him. The older boy knocked the berries to the ground. Noah didn’t react and went back to picking.

Then, the other kids started throwing berries at him, including unripened ones that were hard like pebbles. Noah got scared and ran home covered in berry juice and crying. He told his mother what had happened, but Patricia was so relieved he hadn’t been seriously hurt, she didn’t make much of it. However, when Abel got home, everything changed.

Abel was friendly with Noah. He acted like a big brother and played with him. Still, Noah knew Abel had a temper. It would be a few years before Abel started to abuse Noah and his mother, but he’d witnessed Abel’s rage at minor infractions, like being cut off while...

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He started taking orders at the assembly. He started doing so much business, he had to turn people away. Eventually, he started accepting only five orders a day, offering his services to the highest bidders. Soon, Noah was making enough money to buy his lunch with his profits and keep the money from his mom as petty cash.

Noah found it easy to maneuver among the different groups as the tuck-shop guy. His presence was non-threatening and non-intrusive. He blended in, popping in long enough to participate in whatever each group was discussing or playing, maybe tell a few jokes, then move on.

The other kids accepted these intrusions because Noah provided a service they wanted. He was still an outsider, but at least he wasn’t an outcast anymore.

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Caught in the Act

One night, a security guard caught Noah with his arm through the gate. Both boys took off running, and a chase ensued through the mall and into the parking lot. Noah was scared but exhilarated. But after he and Teddy busted through the lot and into Noah’s neighborhood, he stopped being afraid. Having no friends and spending all that time alone, Noah had wandered every inch of his neighborhood. He knew where the best hiding spots and shortcuts were.

One of these shortcuts was a small hole in a fence at the end of a dead-end road. Not many people knew about it. Noah headed toward the dead end, calling for Teddy to follow. But this wasn’t Teddy’s neighborhood, and he thought going into the dead-end would leave them trapped. Teddy went a different direction, and Noah snuck through the hole and lost the cops.

When Noah got home, he waited for Teddy to show up, but he never did. He went to Teddy’s house. Teddy wasn’t there. Teddy wasn’t at school on Monday either.

Teddy’s parents finally came over to Noah’s house and told him and Patricia that Teddy had been arrested for shoplifting. Patricia knew right away that Noah was somehow involved. But...

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Standing alone in the hallway, Noah watched other couples exchanging gifts and becoming giddy with the spirit of the day. There was no sign of Maylene, but still, he waited.

When Maylene finally appeared, she told Noah she’d found a different valentine and was that guy’s girlfriend now. She still took the gifts. Noah didn’t know what to think. He assumed this was normal behavior. Also, the other kid was white, popular, and attractive.

Even though he was hurt, Noah had to admit the situation made sense. That day, he realized the good-looking guys would always get the girls, and he wasn’t one of them.

The Ugly Duckling

Noah didn’t age gracefully during adolescence. He had such severe acne over his face and neck, it was considered a medical condition. He was too poor to afford a haircut and wore a large, unruly Afro. He was also growing so fast, Patricia was constantly having to buy him new clothes. Sick of this waste of money, she started buying his clothes a couple of sizes too big so he would grow into them. He was tall, gangly, and had big feet. Needless to say, he was not in demand by the ladies.

After the lessons learned from the Maylene debacle,...

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The Importance of a Helping Hand

Noah was living the dream, and he had Andrew to thank for it. Andrew’s generosity made Noah see the world through a different lens. He saw how important it was for marginalized communities to be given the proper resources in life after they’ve struggled for so long. Because Andrew was white, he’d been afforded more resources and opportunities. But how could the poor be expected to change their circumstances when they aren’t given the proper tools?

People saw providing resources to the needy as a handout, but Noah understood that a resource was nothing without ingenuity and hard work. Noah had the tools he needed, but a CD burner alone wouldn’t have made him a success. It takes both money and ingenuity to change your life. Someone may have one, but without the other, success is unlikely.

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Bongani lived on the other side of the river that ran through town in the only area the government had paid any attention to. There were actual houses on this side, and people fared a little better financially than in the more run-down areas. If you had a little money in the hood, people would say you were a “cheese boy” because cheese was so expensive. Bongani and his friends were all known as cheese boys.

That first day, Noah and Bongani walked to his house and sat on the wall by the yard. At the time, Noah had no idea he’d spend the next three years doing nothing but that.

Taking the Show on the Road

Alexandra was home to amazing street parties. All one had to do was put up a tent in the street, and the party was on. Most of the parties went late into the night and only ended after violence erupted.

These parties would always have a DJ. Because most DJs were spinning vinyl, they had a limited supply of music, which translated into a finite amount of time to play. But Noah had several hours of downloaded music on his computer. The mixing software he used for his party CDs created the effect of a DJ spinning. Bongani convinced Noah to become a live DJ.

His...

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The business expanded beyond loans. Noah and Bongani started using cash as a way to barter and make more money. In the hood, someone was always selling something on the corner, and there was always someone trying to buy whatever was being sold. The duo started looking for ways to position themselves as the middlemen.

For example, they might come upon a man caught in a negotiation over a DVD player a drug addict was selling. Bongani would find out the price the addict wanted. He would then take the man aside and ask how much he had to spend. The addict might want 140 rand, but the man only had 120. Knowing the addict was desperate, Bongani would buy the player for 50 rand, then give it to the man on credit, adding 20 rand as interest. When the man was able to pay the 140, their profit was 90 rand. Sometimes, they could push the deal farther. If the man worked at a shoe store, they might allow him to pay his debt with a new pair of Nikes. They’d sell the Nikes to a cheese boy for 200 rand, a 100-rand discount off the store cost. A 50-rand investment turned into a 150-rand profit.

This was the hustle Bongani and Noah came to perfect. **None of it was legal (most of the...

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The situation went from bad to worse when the cops tried to locate the vehicle’s owner. When Noah stole a car from Abel, he always stole the junk cars, never a client’s car. If he’d taken a client’s car, the cops would have found the owner and realized the car was from the shop.

But the Mazda had no clear owner. There was no way for Noah to prove where it came from. To compound this was the rampant nature of violent carjackings in South Africa. They were so rampant, no one was surprised when it had happened to someone they knew.

Many carjackings ended in murder, which made things worse for Noah. Not only was he suspected of stealing the car, but if he had stolen it, he very likely could also have killed someone for it. The cops were all over him.

At any point, Noah could have called home and straightened it all out. Abel would have told the officers that it was a car from his garage, and the whole thing would have been done. But Abel had become abusive by that time, and his fear of what Abel would do outweighed his fear of being in jail.

He also remembered what his mother had said about not helping him if he got arrested. He decided to go it alone—to be a man and...

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Patricia hated the customs. She didn’t believe in bowing to men (which was something women literally did) and made a mockery out of bowing when called upon.

In Tsonga tradition, the firstborn is cherished, especially a firstborn son, and treated with more reverence than the other children. To Abel, bringing home his firstborn son was a monumental event, and Patricia was supposed to play the dutiful woman. Her refusal to perform the customs were taken as a personal affront. He felt she was disrespecting him, and they argued the whole time. Patricia never went to visit Abel’s family again.

Paradise Lost

Once Patricia married Abel, she started to lose control of her life. Abel tried to make their family a traditional Tsonga family. He created new rules for the house, such as relegating Fufi and Panther to the yard. He thought going to church all day was disrespectful to him. What kind of wife spends the whole day away from her husband? What would people think?

Abel stopped fixing the Beetle so Patricia couldn’t drive to church. She took minibuses instead, but without the car, Noah wasn’t able to visit his father. Abel refused to drive them, feeling it was...

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The last time Noah fought with her about Abel, she told him if she tried to leave, he would kill all of them. She was calm when she said it, matter-of-fact. Noah never mentioned it again.

Patricia did finally leave Abel, though. Noah doesn’t know why because he wasn’t around. He had started working as a comedian and was traveling more. Patricia bought a different house in the same neighborhood and met someone new.

Tragedy Strikes

Life moved forward for years for Patricia and the younger boys. Then, one Sunday, she was coming home from church with her new husband and his family, her two sons included, when Abel got out of the car with his gun.

Abel pointed the gun at Patricia, telling her she ruined his life. Andrew stepped up and tried to reason with Abel, as he’d always been able to do. Abel had always listened to Andrew, but this time, Abel threatened to shoot him. Andrew could see it was a real threat and stepped aside.

Abel started shooting, and Patricia jumped in the way to protect the others. She was hit in the bottom and collapsed. She yelled for everyone to run.

Patricia was on the ground trying to get up when Abel pointed the gun directly at her head....

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Noah couldn’t get over that Patricia had canceled her health insurance. When he told her this, she said she had insurance: Jesus. Noah couldn’t argue with her logic. The gun jamming was miraculous. But he argued that Jesus wasn’t there when her hospital bill needed paying. The bill had only come to 50,000 rand.

Patricia told Noah he was right. Jesus hadn’t paid her bill. But he had given her a son who could and did.