PDF Summary:Better Allies, by Karen Catlin

Allyship extends beyond intentions—it requires ongoing education, introspection, and proactive efforts to dismantle systemic inequities. In Better Allies, Karen Catlin provides an actionable framework for becoming an effective ally. This guide encompasses recognizing your personal privileges, avoiding performative support, centering marginalized voices, and cultivating inclusive practices in hiring, networking, meetings, and communication.

Catlin underscores that allyship is a continuous journey. She offers strategies to interrupt biases, amplify underrepresented colleagues, and implement organizational changes to foster truly equitable opportunities. With tangible examples spanning feedback, mentorship, event planning, and more, this book empowers you to move beyond passive bystander and actively advocate for change.

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Behavioral Codes of Conduct and Expectations

Catlin describes why behavioral guidelines are crucial in fostering safety and inclusion for all event participants. A robust set of guidelines, she explains, should explicitly outline acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, including the potential sanctions for violations. The code should also provide clear instructions for reporting incidents and outline the support available to people who have experienced inappropriate conduct or bias. Catlin suggests that conference participants should actively ask for information on the code of conduct prior to committing to participating in an event and hold organizers accountable for enforcing it.

Practical Tips

• Volunteer to be a designated point of contact for safety at community events you're involved in, even if it's informal. Offer to be someone people can come to if they feel unsafe or excluded, and familiarize yourself with the event's official safety protocols. By doing so, you're actively contributing to a safer environment and can provide immediate assistance or escalate concerns as needed.
• Develop a behavior tracking system using a simple app or journal to monitor your adherence to your personal guidelines, noting both compliance and violations. This could involve setting daily or weekly check-ins where you reflect on instances where you successfully followed your guidelines and times you did not, analyzing the context and your response to improve future behavior.
• Volunteer to be a peer mediator at your workplace or within a community group, offering to facilitate the resolution of conflicts. Take a short online course on conflict resolution to prepare yourself, and then let your colleagues or group members know that you're available to help guide them through reporting and resolving issues, acting as a neutral party to ensure clear communication.
• Create a personal support network map to identify resources and allies in your environment. Start by listing friends, family, colleagues, and professionals who are supportive and understanding of issues related to inappropriate conduct or bias. Then, categorize them based on the type of support they can offer, such as emotional, legal, or career advice. This visual map will help you quickly find the right person to turn to when you need support.
• Draft a polite inquiry template for requesting codes of conduct from event organizers. Having a pre-written email or message template saves time and encourages you to consistently ask for this information without feeling awkward or unsure about how to phrase your request.
• Partner with a buddy to mutually oversee code of conduct enforcement at events you organize. Choose someone who also organizes events and agree to attend each other's events specifically to monitor code of conduct enforcement. After the event, debrief with your buddy to discuss what went well and what could be improved, providing each other with an external perspective and accountability.

Providing Accommodations and Amenities for All Participants

Catlin urges organizers to go beyond addressing obvious physical accessibility needs and consider other accommodations that can make events more welcoming to everyone. She suggests offering financial aid through scholarships and travel stipends to guarantee that cost is not a barrier to diverse participation. The author also advocates for offering childcare services, including diverse food and beverage options, and proactively inquiring about individual needs during registration. Catlin shares her own story of feeling ostracized as a nondrinker at gatherings and encourages offering an array of delicious nonalcoholic beverages. The author stresses that organizers should strive to create a holistic experience that sends a clear message of welcoming and belonging to everyone, regardless of background.

Practical Tips

• Volunteer at local organizations or events with the specific intention of observing and suggesting improvements for non-physical accommodations. Take note of how information is presented, whether there are options for people with various sensory processing needs, and if there's clear communication available for all attendees. Afterward, offer your observations and suggestions to the organizers in a constructive manner, focusing on practical changes like adjusting the pace of activities or providing detailed agendas in advance.
• Create a crowdfunding campaign to raise money for travel stipends for diverse participants in specific events or programs. Use social media platforms to share stories of potential beneficiaries to garner support and donations, ensuring that the funds are earmarked for applicants from diverse backgrounds.
• Develop a "child-friendly" corner at your events using simple resources like coloring books, puzzles, and quiet games. This designated area can be overseen by volunteers who are part of the event and interested in helping out, providing a safe and engaging space for children without the need for professional childcare services.
• Organize a potluck dinner with friends or family where each person brings a dish from a different cuisine. This encourages everyone to try new recipes and share their favorite international dishes. It's a fun way to experience a diverse range of foods and flavors without having to cook everything yourself.
• Use a feedback app like SurveyMonkey or Google Forms to create a post-event survey for events you organize, focusing on how well individual needs were met. Distribute this survey to attendees to gather insights on how to improve future events. This could cover aspects like the registration process, the relevance of content to individual goals, and the comfort of the venue.
• Create a personal nonalcoholic beverage recipe book. As you experiment with different mocktails and nonalcoholic drinks, document the recipes that you and others enjoy. Include notes on flavor profiles, occasions the drink suits, and any food pairings that complement the beverage. This personalized recipe book will serve as a go-to resource for delicious and diverse nonalcoholic options for any event or mood.
• Start a tradition of 'community storytelling' at your dinner parties where each guest shares a brief story or experience related to a chosen theme. This practice encourages active participation and helps guests find common ground, enhancing the collective experience and fostering a sense of community.

Empowering Marginalized Voices at Work

Catlin delves into specific workplace situations where those who support others can take action to ensure marginalized perspectives are acknowledged and respected. The author provides strategies for addressing problematic meeting dynamics and supports equitable distribution of “non-promotable tasks,” those assignments that often fall disproportionately on female and BIPOC employees.

Uplifting and Protecting Marginalized Voices in Collaborative Settings

Catlin examines the dynamics of meetings, arguing that too often they perpetuate existing power imbalances and become breeding grounds for biased and microaggressive behavior. The author highlights specific behaviors that allies should address, such as "manterruptions," "bro-propriation," and showboating.

Addressing "Manterruptions" to Ensure All Viewpoints Are Considered

Catlin highlights studies indicating that women in various professional settings, including the US Supreme Court, are interrupted far more frequently than men. She describes the phenomenon of “manterruptions” and argues that they contribute to silencing women’s voices and weakening their contributions. Catlin provides actionable tips for allies to address interruptions, including directly intervening to ensure the interrupted person can finish their thought, advocating for other perspectives, and offering support through confident body language and focused eye contact. The author also encourages using "gatekeepers" or meeting facilitators to manage the flow of conversation and institute guidelines against interrupting to foster respect.

Practical Tips

• You can track interruptions in meetings by keeping a simple tally sheet. Note down every time someone is interrupted, marking a separate column for men and women. This will help you observe patterns and become more aware of the dynamics in your professional environment. Over time, you can use this data to encourage more equitable conversation practices in your workplace.
• Encourage the use of collaborative software tools that allow for equal participation. Introduce platforms like shared documents or brainstorming apps where everyone can contribute ideas asynchronously. This can help level the playing field, as it allows individuals to express their thoughts without the risk of being interrupted or talked over.
• Develop a subtle hand signal with colleagues to indicate when someone is being interrupted. This non-verbal cue can be a discreet way to draw attention to the fact that someone has been cut off without calling out the interrupter directly. For example, a simple touch on the nose or a pen tap on the table can serve as a pre-agreed sign among team members to pause and redirect the conversation back to the person who was speaking.
• Create a personal checklist of non-verbal cues for daily interactions. Write down a list of confident body language cues, such as standing tall, using open hand gestures, and maintaining steady eye contact. Before entering a situation where you want to offer support, go through your checklist and mentally prepare to use these cues. After the interaction, reflect on which cues you used effectively and which ones you could improve upon for next time.
• Implement a digital "speaking queue" using a shared online document or app where participants can add their name to a list when they want to speak. The facilitator then calls on people based on the order in the queue. This can be done using a simple shared Google Doc or a dedicated app designed for meeting management, ensuring a clear and transparent process for conversation flow.

Equitable Distribution of Tasks at Work

Catlin revisits the issue of “office housework” introduced in Chapter 7, arguing that female employees and individuals from marginalized racial groups often bear a disproportionate burden of these non-promotable tasks in meetings. The author reminds readers of the harmful effects of clerical duties, highlighting how these responsibilities can hinder career advancement, interrupt valuable workflow, and reinforce harmful stereotypes. Catlin provides strategies for those seeking to challenge these inequities, including instituting rotations for taking notes and performing other administrative duties, advocating for marginalized colleagues to accept more impactful tasks, and setting an example by actively sharing the load themselves. The author also suggests pushing for company-wide policies and initiatives to address the systemic issue of office housework distribution.

Practical Tips

• You can track your meeting contributions by keeping a personal log that details the tasks you take on. After each meeting, jot down the tasks assigned to you, categorizing them as promotable or non-promotable. Over time, analyze the patterns to see if you're disproportionately taking on non-promotable tasks. If so, use this data to have an informed discussion with your supervisor about rebalancing your workload.
• Implement automation tools for repetitive duties to streamline your workflow. Explore software like Zapier or IFTTT that can automate tasks such as file organization, email responses, or social media updates. This way, you can maintain a smooth workflow without getting bogged down by monotonous tasks.
• Create a peer recognition program where employees can nominate others for successfully managing their workload or helping to redistribute tasks. This can be as simple as a shared document or a dedicated email thread where shout-outs are given, fostering a culture that values balanced task distribution.

Supporting and Advising Employees From Marginalized Groups

Beyond meetings, Catlin emphasizes the role of mentorship and sponsorship in creating career opportunities for marginalized individuals. She urges allies to recognize and actively seek out opportunities to provide support and guidance to team members who belong to underrepresented groups.

Identifying and Advocating for Individuals From Marginalized Groups

Catlin argues that allies should actively seek to understand the career aspirations of peers from marginalized communities and work to create opportunities for them. The author suggests asking straightforward questions about goals, concerns, and ways to provide support. Catlin also cautions against making assumptions about career ambitions and stresses that it's crucial to listen to and respect individual choices even if they go against expectations or previous experiences. The author shares anecdotes demonstrating how those who supported and guided her played key roles in advancing her career, highlighting the positive impact of what they did. She advises supporters to become sponsors to at least four individuals from marginalized backgrounds, offering actions such as suggesting them for challenging tasks, highlighting their work to decision makers, providing public endorsements, and telling influencers about their professional ambitions.

Practical Tips

• Create a personal "Questionnaire Day" where you dedicate one day each month to self-reflection using targeted questions. Start by writing down specific goals, concerns, and areas where you seek support. Then, craft questions that address these points directly. For example, if your goal is to improve your fitness, ask yourself, "What specific steps can I take this month to increase my physical activity?" By regularly revisiting these questions, you'll maintain a clear focus on your objectives and the support you need.
• You can create a personal "Career Ambition Respect" journal where you reflect on your interactions with colleagues and friends regarding their career choices. After conversations about careers, jot down what you discussed, noting any assumptions you might have made. Review these entries weekly to identify patterns in your thinking and actively work on being more open-minded and respectful of different career paths.
• Develop a "Different Perspectives" card game to play with friends or family that presents hypothetical scenarios where players must argue for a decision they wouldn't normally support. This game can foster empathy and understanding by putting you in the shoes of someone making an unexpected choice.
• Volunteer to review and provide feedback on resumes and cover letters for job seekers from underrepresented groups. You can do this through online forums or by collaborating with non-profit organizations that focus on career development for these communities. Your input can help improve their chances of landing interviews and securing jobs.
• Start a micro-grant program using a small portion of your income to fund projects or education for individuals from marginalized communities. This could be as simple as setting aside a monthly amount that goes towards books, course fees, or materials they need to advance their skills or education.
• Organize a monthly "Innovation Hour" where team members can present creative solutions to ongoing projects or propose new initiatives. Encourage participants to invite influencers and decision-makers within the organization to these sessions. This creates an informal setting for employees to exhibit their innovative thinking and ambition, potentially leading to support and endorsement from leadership. For example, an employee could use this time to present a cost-saving strategy they've devised, directly aligning their personal ambition with the company's goals.

Visibility, Growth Opportunities, and Recognition for Marginalized Employees

Catlin advocates for partners to distribute "glamour work," those high-profile and career-enhancing assignments, more equitably. She describes how glamour work can provide valuable learning experiences, expand networks, increase confidence, and position individuals for promotions. Catlin emphasizes the need to fight against the bias that forces underrepresented individuals to unfairly prove their competence more than white men. She suggests using concrete standards to assess potential for advancement rather than relying on subjective assessments. The author also shares the story of how a simple email nudge from a senior leader at Google dramatically led more women to apply for promotions, illustrating how allies can create systemic changes to encourage career growth.

Practical Tips

• Implement a rotating leadership model for meetings and presentations, ensuring that each team member, regardless of their background, gets a chance to lead and showcase their work. This can be tracked through a shared calendar or a sign-up sheet, encouraging everyone to step into a leadership role and gain visibility.
• Set up a peer review group with colleagues to build confidence in your work. Organize a small group of trusted coworkers to give constructive feedback on each other's work before it reaches a wider audience. This can help you refine your ideas and presentations, ensuring that when you do take on glamour work, you're presenting it with confidence. For instance, before a big presentation, you could run through it with your peer review group and use their feedback to make improvements.
• Implement a self-assessment routine using a standardized checklist to evaluate your own advancements. Create a checklist based on the specific skills or knowledge you want to develop, with clear indicators of success for each item. For example, if you're learning a new language, your checklist might include items like "Can hold a 5-minute conversation" or "Understands news articles with minimal dictionary use." Regularly complete the checklist to self-assess your progress and identify areas for further development.
• Volunteer to lead a small project that benefits your organization, such as a community outreach initiative or an internal efficiency audit. This will not only showcase your leadership skills but also give you a reason to connect with higher-ups and potential allies who can support your career growth.
• Create a personal reminder system to send encouraging messages to your contacts when they're facing challenges or opportunities. This could be as simple as setting calendar alerts to check in with friends or colleagues who are preparing for important meetings, projects, or personal milestones, offering support or a word of encouragement at a time when it might significantly impact their confidence and actions.

Implementing Equitable Hiring, Feedback, and Career Advancement Practices

Catlin provides detailed guidance to help allies dismantle biased systems and practices that hinder workplace efforts toward inclusivity, fairness, and diversity. The author focuses on three key areas - hiring, feedback, and career advancement - offering actionable steps to ensure that opportunities are open and accessible to individuals from all backgrounds.

Cultivating Inclusive Hiring Processes

Catlin challenges the common excuse that “there are not enough qualified candidates” from marginalized demographics, arguing that hiring practices themselves often perpetuate existing inequalities. The author emphasizes that allies should create more equitable hiring practices to attract, evaluate, and retain diverse talent.

Welcoming Diverse Applicants Through Job Postings and Candidate Experience

Catlin explains how biased wording and images can discourage diverse applicants even before they apply. The author shares examples of real-life careers pages where photos of paintball outings and mosh pits projected an unwelcoming, even hostile, environment for women and other underrepresented individuals. Catlin encourages companies to incorporate images that authentically represent their demographics or, if diversity is lacking, to emphasize their commitment to inclusion through clear statements and descriptions of their efforts. The author also highlights the need to be careful about language used in job descriptions. Catlin encourages using inclusive wording, emphasizing the company’s contributions to social good, and clearly stating that everyone who meets the qualifications will be considered regardless of factors such as parental status or employment gaps.

Practical Tips

• Swap out corporate stock photos with images from your actual workplace in job postings. Instead of using generic images that might not reflect diversity, take photos of your real team at work. This gives potential applicants a more accurate picture of your workplace environment and can attract a broader range of candidates.
• Create a checklist of inclusive language principles to review before posting a job description. Include items such as avoiding age-related terms ("young," "energetic") and ensuring that required qualifications are strictly job-related to avoid deterring diverse applicants who might self-select out.
• Develop a partnership with a local nonprofit organization and offer a "day of service" as a benefit to new hires. This gives new employees an immediate opportunity to engage in the company's social initiatives and feel connected to the company's values from day one.
• Create a personal code of ethics for job searching that includes a commitment to evaluate companies based on their inclusive hiring statements. Research companies before applying and prioritize those that explicitly state they do not discriminate based on employment gaps or parental status. This will help you align with organizations that share your values and are more likely to appreciate diverse experiences.

Bias Mitigation in Evaluations via Structure and Awareness Training

Catlin emphasizes the role of unconscious bias in the interview and evaluation process, sharing her personal experience of a company lowering the bar for her during an interview because she was a woman. The author encourages adopting several strategies to combat bias, including using structured interviews with standardized questions and evaluation rubrics, redacting unnecessary personal information from resumes, sharing interview questions ahead of time, offering work tests, and proactively bringing common biases to the attention of the interview team. Catlin also promotes evaluating candidates based on their experience with inclusion and actively taking steps to make the interview process more welcoming to diverse candidates. For example, she suggests offering financial assistance for costs related to dependent care or travel.

Practical Tips

• Engage in blind evaluations of work when possible. For example, if you're reviewing written materials or code, have someone remove identifying information before you assess the quality. This allows you to focus on the content without being influenced by the creator's identity, which can help counteract unconscious bias.
• You can challenge biases by role-playing interviews with friends where you intentionally switch the expected stereotypes. For example, if you're a woman, have a friend conduct an interview where they assume you're the expert in a typically male-dominated field, like technology or engineering. This exercise can help you prepare responses that assert your competence and challenge any lowered expectations.
• Create a personal decision-making template for everyday choices that involves a set of standard questions to answer before making a decision. This could be as simple as a checklist on your phone that prompts you to consider pros and cons, potential biases, and alternative options every time you face a significant choice, such as deciding on a new purchase or considering a job offer.
• Create a resume template that uses job-relevant hashtags instead of traditional headers to categorize skills and experiences. By replacing headers like "Work Experience" with hashtags such as #ProjectManagement or #DataAnalysis, you focus attention on competencies rather than personal details that could introduce bias. For example, under #TeamLeadership, list your relevant achievements without mentioning the companies or durations, which could inadvertently reveal age or gender.
• Develop a scoring rubric for work tests that is strictly based on the skills and competencies required for the job. Before reviewing any work tests, decide on the criteria you'll use to assess them, such as creativity, technical skill, or problem-solving ability. Use a point system to rate each criterion, ensuring that your evaluation is as objective as possible. For example, if you're hiring a coder, you might score their work test based on code efficiency, readability, and innovation.
• Use a structured interview scorecard that requires interviewers to provide specific evidence for their ratings on each question. This approach encourages interviewers to base their evaluations on concrete examples of candidate behavior rather than gut feelings or first impressions, thereby reducing the influence of bias.
• You can refine your job interview questions to include scenarios that reveal a candidate's experience with inclusion. For instance, ask them to describe a time when they had to work with a diverse team and how they ensured everyone felt included. This approach gives you insight into their real-world application of inclusive practices.
• You can offer to babysit for a friend or family member who's attending an important event or appointment to reduce their dependent care costs. By doing this, you're directly contributing to their ability to participate in activities that might otherwise be inaccessible due to childcare responsibilities. For example, if a friend has a job interview, your offer to babysit could be the support they need to attend without worrying about the cost of a sitter.

Providing Impartial and Effective Feedback

Catlin tackles the issue of bias in performance reviews and feedback, highlighting how vague feedback and subjective evaluations can damage the career paths of those who are underrepresented. She supports employing clear standards, focusing on business impact, and providing actionable suggestions for progress.

Linking Critiques With Results, Not Subjective Traits

Catlin highlights research from the Clayman Institute and other studies showing that feedback to women tends to be less specific and actionable than that given to men, leading to disadvantages in promotion opportunities. The author emphasizes the need to link evaluations to organizational results, focusing on how an individual's work contributes to company goals. Catlin advises supporters to clarify the standards for evaluation, provide detailed examples of positive feedback and suggestions for improvement, and avoid vague language or subjective assessments that could perpetuate stereotypes and bias. She stresses that feedback should focus on how an individual can enhance their effectiveness and have more influence on the organization, avoiding personal characteristics or perceived shortcomings.

Practical Tips

• Create a personal performance dashboard that aligns with your company's goals. Use a simple spreadsheet to track your weekly tasks and projects, noting how each contributes to broader organizational objectives. For example, if your company aims to improve customer satisfaction, record how your customer service interactions or product improvements are making an impact, and review this dashboard during self-evaluations or discussions with your manager.
• Implement a 'three questions' rule for every feedback session. Whenever you plan to give feedback, prepare three questions that relate to the individual's role and its impact on the organization. This could involve asking how they see their work aligning with the company's mission, what challenges they faced in contributing to a team project, and how they think they can overcome these challenges in the future. This approach encourages a dialogue that is constructive and focused on professional development rather than personal traits.

Ensuring Fair Feedback Across Identity Lines

Catlin argues that allies must ensure that feedback is distributed fairly and consistently across all employees, regardless of their background or identity. The author suggests that simply asking oneself, "Would I provide the same input to a person from a different identity or background?" can highlight areas of potential bias. Catlin also highlights the need to be especially aware of bias where marginalized groups are unfairly expected to demonstrate competence more than their white male counterparts. The author suggests focusing on employees' potential and recognizing raw talent rather than insisting on extensive proof of prior success. Finally, Catlin highlights the importance of discussing pay equity, advocating for regular salary reviews to identify and address disparities, and making sure that salary decisions are based on objective criteria rather than subjective assessments.

Practical Tips

• Schedule regular feedback sessions that are evenly spaced throughout the year for all employees. Instead of waiting for annual reviews, set up quarterly or bi-monthly meetings where you discuss the feedback from the template. This regularity ensures that all employees receive attention and have the opportunity to improve continuously.
• Volunteer to join or form a workplace committee focused on pay transparency. Collaborate with colleagues to propose a system where salaries are reviewed regularly and disparities are addressed. This could involve creating a proposal document outlining the benefits of pay transparency for employee morale and retention, which you can present to management.
• Volunteer for projects with measurable outcomes at work to build a portfolio of quantifiable achievements. Document each project's objectives, your role, and the results in a clear format. Use this portfolio to demonstrate your contributions during salary discussions, ensuring the focus remains on objective data rather than subjective opinions.

Supporting Career Advancement For All

Catlin argues that allyship stretches beyond individual interactions and must influence an organization’s culture and systems. The author urges allies to break open previously closed doors by supporting equitable distribution of high-visibility opportunities, actively sponsoring and mentoring marginalized employees, and giving wholehearted recommendations when asked.

Distributing High-Visibility, "Glamour Work" Assignments Equitably

Catlin advocates for proactively assigning high-visibility, career-enhancing "glamour work" to individuals from marginalized communities. She argues that these opportunities not only equip these employees with valuable skills and experience but also help to dismantle stereotypes about who "appears to be a leader" while challenging systemic bias in promotion decisions. Catlin encourages creating company-wide systems for fairly identifying and distributing assignments that challenge employees, fostering a culture of risk-taking and innovation, providing clear and frequent feedback to support employee growth, and encouraging marginalized employees to confidently "round up" when assessing their own capabilities.

Practical Tips

• Volunteer to be part of a diversity and inclusion committee at your workplace, if one exists, or take the initiative to help create one. Use this platform to advocate for fair distribution of prestigious assignments. You could propose a review of past project assignments to identify any patterns of inequality and then develop guidelines to ensure equitable opportunities for all employees.
• Create a diverse leadership vision board that includes images and quotes from a wide range of leaders who vary in age, gender, ethnicity, and industry. Place this board somewhere you'll see it daily to continuously expose yourself to diverse examples of leadership. This visual reminder can help reshape your subconscious image of a leader.
• Develop a habit of seeking diverse input on promotion decisions by informally polling a varied group of peers. After you've made a preliminary decision on a promotion, ask colleagues from different departments, backgrounds, or levels of seniority for their perspective on the candidate's qualifications to ensure a well-rounded evaluation.
• Develop a peer nomination system where employees can recommend colleagues for challenging projects. This encourages a culture of recognition and ensures that those who are seen as capable by their peers are considered for opportunities. For example, set up a simple online form or a physical suggestion box where employees can drop the names of colleagues they believe are ready for more challenging work.
• Start a "Failure Resume" to document and reflect on your unsuccessful endeavors and the lessons learned from each. This practice encourages you to take risks by reframing failures as valuable learning experiences. For example, if you tried to learn a new language and gave up after a few weeks, write down what hindered your progress and what strategies you could use next time to maintain your motivation.
• Use a mobile app that allows employees to set goals and track their progress, with the option for supervisors to leave comments and feedback directly linked to each goal. This integrates feedback into the daily workflow and connects it directly to the employees' objectives, making it more relevant and actionable.
• Consider setting up a mentorship pairing system that connects marginalized employees with senior staff. This provides a platform for them to receive guidance, discuss their progress, and gain insights into self-assessment. The mentorship could be structured with regular check-ins and goal-setting sessions to help mentees evaluate and recognize their own strengths.

Advocating For Marginalized Employees During Promotion Discussions

Catlin underscores that allies must actively advocate for marginalized employees during conversations about promotions and performance evaluations. She explains that research shows women are frequently judged based on past performance while men are evaluated for potential, perpetuating a cycle of inequality. The author encourages allies to recognize and nurture the potential of their coworkers who are from marginalized groups, challenging any tendencies toward requiring repeated proof of competence. Catlin suggests highlighting the ability, social skills, and drive of these individuals to counteract any subconscious prejudice that could result in their efforts being disregarded.

Practical Tips

• Volunteer to revise job descriptions and performance review criteria in your organization to emphasize potential. Work with HR to include language that looks for qualities like adaptability, learning ability, and future leadership skills. For instance, instead of requiring a certain number of years of experience, suggest including a statement like "looking for individuals with a demonstrated eagerness to grow and tackle new challenges."
• Implement a "One Shot Rule" for small decisions or tasks. Decide that you will only ask for feedback or approval once for a given task, and then move forward with confidence in your decision. This practice encourages you to trust your judgment and abilities, reducing the dependency on repeated affirmations from others.
• Create a personal rule to compliment or acknowledge the contributions of colleagues from underrepresented groups during meetings or collaborative projects. Make a conscious effort to recognize their ideas and input publicly, which can help counteract biases and encourage a more inclusive environment.

Using Inclusive Language and Communication to Make an Impact

Catlin argues that everyday language can perpetuate or challenge bias and workplace inequities. The author emphasizes the need for continuous learning and adaptation, recognizing that word choices that were perhaps acceptable previously may require revisions as our understanding of inclusivity evolves.

Sidestep and Replace Hurtful or Exclusionary Language

Catlin provides a comprehensive list of words and phrases that allies should avoid and suggests alternative terms that can promote inclusivity. The author emphasizes that although a few of these language choices might seem like minor issues, their cumulative effect can be significant, creating subtle insults and perpetuating harmful stereotypes.

Recognizing and Addressing Microaggressions and Gendered Language

Catlin encourages allies to be aware of and actively challenge gendered language in professional settings, avoiding terms like "guys" when addressing mixed-gender groups and using more inclusive alternatives like "folks" or "team." The author also recommends updating phrases that assume maleness, such as "man-hours," to more inclusive wording like "person-hours." Catlin highlights that these seemingly small language choices can affect the perceived inclusivity of a workplace and create a more welcoming environment for individuals of every gender. She argues that allies should be especially careful about "inadvertently undermining someone's status," those instances where people make assumptions about someone’s position or expertise because of their age, gender, or race. Catlin suggests posing open-ended inquiries rather than articulating assumptions, demonstrating respect and acknowledging people’s actual positions and capabilities.

Practical Tips

• Create a personal language audit by recording your group interactions for a week, then reviewing the recordings to identify instances where you used non-inclusive language. This self-awareness exercise will help you catch and correct your language habits.
• You can practice inclusive language by starting your emails with "Hello everyone" or "Dear all." This small change in your daily written communication ensures you're addressing a group without assuming gender or roles, fostering a more inclusive environment.
• Engage in small acts of advocacy in your everyday interactions. If you notice someone being misgendered or if gender-inclusive language isn't being used, gently correct the situation or offer a brief explanation. This can be as simple as saying, "Actually, Alex prefers 'they/them' pronouns," or "Let's use 'everyone' instead of 'ladies and gentlemen.'" These actions can create ripples of awareness and encourage others to be more mindful of their language.
• Initiate conversations with individuals from diverse backgrounds with the intent to learn about their expertise and experiences. Approach these interactions with open-ended questions like "What's something you're working on that excites you?" or "Can you tell me about a challenge you've overcome in your career?" This encourages a knowledge exchange that can dismantle preconceived notions and allows you to appreciate the individual's skills and knowledge firsthand.
• Improve your listening abilities by playing the 'Paraphrase Partner' game during conversations. After your conversation partner responds to an open-ended question, paraphrase their answer to ensure you've understood their point. This encourages you to ask more open-ended questions and listen actively. For instance, if they talk about their weekend, you could say, "It sounds like you found your hiking trip both challenging and rewarding."
• Use active listening techniques in conversations to demonstrate respect. When someone speaks, focus entirely on what they're saying without planning your response. After they finish, summarize their points to show you understand and value their input. This not only shows respect but also helps you grasp their capabilities and perspectives.

Promoting Inclusive Pronouns, Job Designations, and Terminology

Catlin stresses the importance of using inclusive pronouns, encouraging "they" as a reference for individuals whose gender is unknown or who use non-binary pronouns. The author suggests making it common to share pronouns by doing so oneself, either through speech or written communication. Catlin also challenges using industry-standard terms and jargon that can perpetuate harmful stereotypes, even if the origins of those terms were perhaps unrelated to ethnicity, sex, or other identity groups. The author points out that changing ingrained language in technical fields can be challenging, but she encourages allies to advocate for more inclusive terminology, engage in open discussions about word choices, and create supportive environments for sharing alternative solutions.

Practical Tips

• Create personalized name tags for social events you host that include a space for pronouns. This encourages guests to share their pronouns in a casual setting, fostering a more inclusive environment.
• Create a "language swap" challenge with friends or colleagues where each participant brings a commonly used industry term and suggests a more inclusive alternative. This could be done through a shared document or a dedicated messaging channel. For instance, instead of saying "man-hours," you might propose "person-hours" or "work hours" to avoid gender-specific language.
• Implement a "No Judgment Day" once a month where you and your peers agree to share ideas freely without fear of criticism. During this day, focus on the language used to present ideas and encourage each other to suggest different word choices that could enhance clarity or impact. This practice can help break down barriers to open communication and promote a culture of continuous improvement in how you express yourselves.

Modeling Inclusive Communication

Catlin encourages allies not only to be mindful of the words they choose but also to set an example for others by actively modeling inclusive communication in all workplace contexts.

Set a Positive Example With Speech and Communication

Catlin underscores the importance of allies being role models. The author argues that when those in positions of power and privilege use inclusive language and advocate for underrepresented groups, their behavior can create a ripple effect, inspiring others to do the same. Catlin suggests that allies should explicitly state their commitment to inclusivity and diversity in their communication, express gratitude to colleagues from marginalized groups, publicly recognize their accomplishments, and share their learning experiences with others. The author encourages allies to model vulnerability by acknowledging their mistakes and sharing what they gained from those experiences, demonstrating that allyship is an ongoing process.

Practical Tips

• You can observe and mirror the positive behaviors of influential figures in your daily interactions to foster a culture of inspiration. Start by identifying a leader or public figure whose actions you admire and take note of their specific behaviors that demonstrate power and privilege responsibly. For example, if a well-known CEO is praised for their commitment to sustainability, you might adopt similar eco-friendly practices in your own life, like reducing waste or supporting green businesses, and share these habits with friends and family to encourage a ripple effect.
• You can create a personal inclusivity statement to share on your social media profiles, expressing your commitment to diversity and how you plan to practice it in your daily interactions. This could include specific behaviors you'll adopt, such as actively seeking out diverse perspectives in conversations or challenging stereotypes when you encounter them.
• Create a "Spotlight" feature in your company newsletter to highlight diverse achievements. By dedicating a section of your internal newsletter to celebrate the successes of colleagues from marginalized groups, you create a regular platform for recognition. This could include professional milestones, community involvement, or leadership in diversity initiatives. It's a simple yet effective way to ensure consistent acknowledgment and visibility within your organization.
• Use social media to create a "Learning Chain Challenge," where you post a brief video or text about something new you've learned and then nominate friends to share their own learning experiences within 24 hours. This not only spreads knowledge but also creates a fun, engaging way to hold each other accountable for continuous learning.
• Implement a "Lesson-Learned" segment in your family or team meetings where you or others share a recent error and the insights gained. This practice encourages a safe space for discussing failures and transforms them into teachable moments, strengthening the group's ability to navigate challenges collectively.
• Set up monthly "Allyship Audits" with a trusted friend or colleague to hold each other accountable. Partner with someone who is also committed to being an ally and agree to meet monthly to discuss your efforts, challenges, and progress. During these sessions, share experiences, provide constructive feedback, and set goals for the coming month. This partnership creates a support system and ensures that you are actively working on being an ally.

Safe Spaces For Discussing Language and Biases

Catlin recommends creating designated spaces where individuals can safely ask questions about inclusive language, challenge troublesome terminology, and discuss their concerns and experiences. The author suggests creating a "language matters" Slack channel, for instance, where people can openly explore alternative wording, suggest revisions to existing documents, and learn how to gracefully address criticism about their own wording choices. Catlin emphasizes that creating this kind of environment can assist in making discussions around inclusion feel routine, promote a shared understanding of best practices, and foster a culture where everyone feels empowered to speak up and contribute to positive change.

Practical Tips

• Improve your everyday vocabulary by challenging yourself with a "word replacement" week. Pick a handful of words or phrases that you frequently use and find more positive or empowering alternatives. Keep track of how often you successfully incorporate these into your conversations and note any changes in the responses you receive. For instance, replace "I have to" with "I get to" to shift the tone from obligation to opportunity.
• Create a personal "inclusive language cheat sheet" for common scenarios where you might need to use inclusive language. This could include meetings, social gatherings, or online communication. List phrases that are inclusive alongside those that are not, and keep this cheat sheet handy for quick reference until the inclusive options become second nature.
• Transform your living room into an 'inclusion lab' by hosting regular movie nights with films that celebrate diversity. Invite friends and family to watch and discuss movies that highlight different cultures, identities, and perspectives. This casual setting can make conversations about inclusion a natural part of your social interactions.
• Organize a monthly "Best Practice Brunch" with friends or colleagues. Each person brings a dish and shares one best practice they've recently learned or implemented in their personal or professional life. This casual setting encourages open dialogue and the exchange of ideas in a non-threatening environment.
• Implement a "No Interruption" rule during discussions to ensure everyone has the chance to speak without being talked over. In practice, you could use a talking stick or any object that grants the holder the exclusive right to speak, thereby creating a physical reminder of the safe space policy. This can be particularly effective in group settings where some individuals might dominate the conversation, ensuring a more equitable distribution of speaking time.