PDF Summary:Be Water, My Friend, by Shannon Lee

Life constantly presents obstacles and unexpected changes that can leave you feeling stuck or overwhelmed. In Be Water, My Friend, Shannon Lee draws on her father Bruce Lee's philosophy to show you how to navigate life with the adaptability and flow of water. She explains how water moves around obstacles, takes the shape of any container, and continues moving forward—and how you can develop these same qualities.

Lee covers the foundational concepts behind the "be water" philosophy, including the balance of yin and yang and the practice of nonjudgmental awareness. She explains how to cultivate internal resilience through self-knowledge and how to align your authentic self with your actions in the world. You'll also learn about the connection between this life philosophy and Bruce Lee's martial art, Jeet Kune Do, and how physical practice can deepen your self-awareness.

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The Jeet Kune Do Connection

Bruce Lee developed the combat technique Jeet Kune Do. It means "the way of intercepting a fist" and is a direct expression of his soul, capturing both his life philosophy and martial arts. Bruce Lee began creating Jeet Kune Do in 1965 and named it in 1967. He didn't release his thoughts in writing, believing his art to be a dynamic entity open to development and expansion. He worried that if he wrote them down, practitioners might believe that was all there was to it and wouldn't incorporate their individual experiences into learning.

(Shortform note: Bruce Lee’s approach to Jeet Kune Do—keeping it unwritten and endlessly evolving—echoes the Zen Buddhist tradition, which also resists finalizing its teachings in written form. In Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki explains that Zen teachings are not fixed doctrines but living practices that must be continually recreated by each student. Suzuki warns that written forms are merely pointers, not the essence of Zen itself. This perspective aligns with Bruce Lee’s belief that Jeet Kune Do should remain a dynamic, personal expression rather than a static system.)

Lee sought to avoid cultivating fanatical disciples who would not doubt their personal experience. In 1975, his wife and Mito Uyehara of Black Belt magazine released Tao of Jeet Kune Do to safeguard his insights and teachings after he died. The book wasn't a step-by-step guide. but instead a means to encourage readers to reflect and investigate independently. The fighting style stresses fluidity and unanticipated actions—movement that's instantaneous and reacts perfectly to the present situation, so the opponent can't anticipate what's coming. Jeet Kune Do's philosophy is designed to ground practitioners in a state of presence and fluidity so they can remain adaptable and initiate and react to shifts. Adaptation requires an approach flexible enough to enable it.

The Context of Tao of Jeet Kune Do

The decision to publish Lee's notes as a book of ideas rather than a curriculum was likely influenced by the state of martial arts in the 1970s. As martial arts became more popular in the US, there was a push to standardize and commercialize them. This led to the creation of rigid styles with set techniques and forms. Lee's approach, which emphasized adaptability and personal expression, was at odds with this trend. By presenting his ideas in an open-ended format, the book's publishers aimed to prevent his teachings from being codified into another rigid system.

Living the "Be Water" Way

Living in the "Be Water" way means being adaptable and aware. Water is adaptable as it’s able to conform to the shape of any vessel. It’s also aware because it actively participates in its surroundings. It never stops and is unstoppable, discovering how to continue its motion and flow.

To emulate water means being adaptable, aware, organic, and unstoppable. It means to have awareness and presence, followed by being flexible and able to move. This involves maintaining perpetual preparedness that is innate, while being completely yourself. Being water-like involves discovering your complete, genuine, and fully developed identity, moving through life’s current while creating your own journey ahead. It’s not about striving for flawlessness or controlling everything.

How to Practice Perpetual Preparedness

The “Be Water” way of life is a poetic way of describing how to be adaptable, aware, and “perpetually prepared.” But how can you practice this in your daily life? In Superforecasting, Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner explain that the best way to improve your judgment is to make predictions about the future, write them down, and then compare them to what actually happens. This helps you learn from your mistakes and get better at judging uncertainty. To practice this, each morning, write down a few things that might happen that day, along with a probability for each. In the evening, check what actually happened and write a short note about how you would update your expectations for tomorrow.

Let’s explore how to nurture and manifest these qualities.

Internal Cultivation

Lee explains that internal cultivation involves shifting from acting unconsciously to intentionally. This cultivation process involves four phases. The first stage involves being partial, which involves acting unconsciously. The second stage is fluidity, which involves behaving consciously. The third stage is emptiness, a combination of awareness and lack thereof. The last stage is expressing your life, essence, and spirit.

(Shortform note: The idea of “emptiness” can be difficult to grasp. In Why Buddhism Is True, Robert Wright explains that through mindfulness you can come to see that the things you normally identify with—your thoughts, feelings, and impulses—are not, in fact, you; they are transient events arising in consciousness, and the sense of a solid, persisting owner of these events is a kind of illusion constructed by the mind.)

Lee also argues that true personal capability is achieved by working internally and expanding outward. It's not necessary to dedicate all our time to ensuring that the outside parts of our lives appear a specific way to be joyful, peaceful, and powerful. Rather, we ought to cultivate those qualities and carry them into all our actions. Our existence genuinely mirrors our authentic selves, free of pretense. As we take action, we won't have to struggle with our own thoughts about the next step. We’re certain of our values and desires and committed to them regardless of the circumstances.

(Shortform note: While Lee’s argument that we should focus less on the outside parts of our lives and more on inner work is generally sound, there are some situations where this approach may not be helpful. For example, if you’re in a situation where you’re being exploited or are in danger, focusing on your inner work may keep you trapped in that situation. In these cases, it may be more important to focus on changing your external circumstances first.)

Let’s examine ways to cultivate internal resilience and why exercising and integration matter.

Internal Resilience

Internal resilience, according to Lee, comes from self-awareness and embracing change. A genuine warrior confronts life directly. They don't seek protection externally but cultivate an inner sense of security. This is achieved by consistently seeking self-knowledge and turning change and the unfamiliar into allies. They face challenges and recognize where they fall short. They don't pursue a perfect appearance, but rather a perfect spirit.

Warriors experience fear but not insecurity or danger. They're aware they're equipped with the resources, abilities, and self-assurance to address their challenges or gracefully accept failure. They're aware that they co-create their existence along with the existence of those nearby.

The Dangers of Not Seeking Protection

If you take Lee’s advice to not seek protection externally and to experience fear but not insecurity or danger too literally, you might end up staying in a harmful situation instead of seeking protection. For example, if you’re in an abusive relationship, you might think that you should stay in the relationship and not seek protection from others. However, this could put you in danger. Instead, it’s important to recognize when you need help and to seek protection from others when necessary. This could mean reaching out to friends, family, or professionals for support.

Integrating Through Practice

Lee believes that practice helps you respond naturally and by instinct. The greater your practice, the more you condition your subconscious, allowing you to operate from honed instincts. You can select your reaction with self-assurance, or you can train your mind with ample beneficial practice so that your automatic reply continues to perfectly reflect yourself. This creates a sense of genuine flow, being immersed in oneness.

Your exertion is that of practicing and self-improvement so that you can increasingly become whole and select how you react to experiences. You can quit overanalyzing and make acting naturally a habit. To become aligned with the present, trust yourself after plenty of solid, effective personal practice.

The Dangers of Overconfidence

If you quit overanalyzing and trust yourself in every situation, you may become overconfident and miss warning signs. For example, if you’re in a new environment and you’re not paying attention to your surroundings, you may miss important cues that could help you avoid danger. Or, if you’re in a complex situation and you’re not thinking critically, you may make a decision that you later regret. While it’s important to trust yourself and your instincts, it’s also important to be aware of your surroundings and to think critically about the decisions you make.

Lee also advises embracing mistakes as a component of the learning process. Mistakes are necessary for learning, and without learning, you can't grow and become a better version of yourself.

(Shortform note: While embracing mistakes is a good way to learn, there are some situations where you can’t afford to make mistakes. For example, if you’re a surgeon, you can’t afford to make a mistake during surgery. In these situations, you can learn from simulations, checklists, and other people’s mistakes.)

External Manifestation

External manifestation begins with anchoring yourself in your authentic identity. The core of your identity is the crucial element for your unique development. Without you, your flow lacks direction. This requires practice, and what you'll gain is nothing short of you.

(Shortform note: To anchor yourself in your authentic identity, try keeping a daily note of which moments make you feel most “like yourself.” Then, each week, try to do a little more of those things. This simple practice can help you stay connected to your true self, even when life gets busy.)

Let's explore how relationships are essential for personal growth and ways to take purposeful action to achieve your goals.

Relational Dynamics

Lee believes that relationships are essential for personal growth. They’re a mirror that reflects your internal state, revealing where you struggle and guiding you in self-improvement.

(Shortform note: For people who have experienced severe interpersonal trauma, relationships may not be essential for personal growth. In fact, the idea that relationships are a mirror that reflects your internal state can be damaging for people who have experienced trauma.)

Purposeful Action

Lee argues that to achieve your goals, you must take action. If you don’t, you’ll spend time and energy thinking about your intentions without ever acting on them. Taking steps, even small ones, builds momentum and energy to achieve your goals. Action leads to more action, and you’ll be amazed by your progress. Taking steps also empowers you. You gain control over your own fate, aligning your mind and behaviors.

(Shortform note: In Self-Efficacy, psychologist Albert Bandura explains that when you take action, you create “mastery experiences” that your nervous system encodes as evidence that your efforts can change outcomes. This makes it easier to take more action, and it also makes it easier to believe that you’re in control of your fate. Each time you complete a small step, you reinforce the belief that your actions matter, which makes it easier to believe that you’re steering what happens in your life.)

You can embrace your authentic self, who can respond in each moment, without having to hide your true nature. This is gratifying and lets you feel more self-assured and empowered. As you grow accountable for your thinking and behavior, you mature and become authentic. To progress, clarify your intentions. If you're unclear about your big goals, begin by making minor moves toward the small things you know you want. This will help you understand the larger context.

(Shortform note: To clarify your intentions, try phrasing them as “If X, then Y” statements. For example, “If I’m feeling tired, then I’ll take a nap.” This approach helps you recognize situations where you can act on your intentions and makes it easier to follow through. By creating clear, actionable plans, you can better understand what you want and take steps toward achieving it. This method also helps you stay focused and motivated, making it easier to progress toward your goals.)