PDF Summary:Awaken the Giant Within, by Tony Robbins
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1-Page PDF Summary of Awaken the Giant Within
Many people assume their ideal life will never be more than fantasy, but in reality, you have the power to create the life you dream about. In this book, life coach and self-help guru Tony Robbins provides insights and strategies to help you take control of every aspect of your life, from your emotions to your focus. In many cases, you can make transformational changes to your life through small adjustments, such as swapping out just one word in your vocabulary.
In this guide you’ll learn how your bad habits are wired in your brain, how to decode your negative emotions to find solutions to them, and how to create your destiny.
This guide compares and contrasts Robbins’s ideas with those of other popular self-help authors, as well as current scientific theories. This will provide you with background and a deeper understanding of the lessons in Awaken the Giant Within, as well as some alternative methods for taking control of your life.
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If you find yourself believing that the changes that Robbins talks about are impossible, you may be stuck in a fixed mindset.
Control Your Focus
In addition to your beliefs and associations, what you choose to focus on determines how you experience life and what emotions you feel. You can think of your focus like a spotlight at a crowded concert: If the light stays on the musicians, you’ll be focused on enjoying the music. If it highlights somebody acting out in the crowd, it’s harder to focus on the performance, and you might feel annoyed or amused by that person’s antics—either way, the experience is different than if the spotlight had stayed focused on the performers.
In this section, we’ll talk about how to control your focus through the questions you ask yourself and the words you use.
How Language Affects Experience
Research reveals you can control your emotions—and thus your experiences—by controlling the language you use to describe them. Specifically, the research focuses on psychological constructionism, a theory of psychology stating that emotions are formed (“constructed”) from several different psychological elements:
Our understanding of a concept. For example, our knowledge of what “excitement” is.
What we perceive. For example: loud music, flashing lights, and a large crowd of people.
Physical sensations. In this example: increased heart rate, explosive energy, and (in extreme cases) muscle tremors.
In simple terms, this theory states that emotions are the results of us explaining our experiences to ourselves.
Therefore, since language is a key part of understanding and explaining concepts, the words we use can affect what emotions we feel and how strongly we feel them. For example, a study showed that participants who had been primed with fear-related words were less likely to take risks than those who were primed with anger-related words, or who were not primed with a specific emotion.
Use Empowering Questions to Direct Your Thoughts
Robbins says that thinking is merely a sequence of asking and answering questions—in other words, virtually every thought you have is preceded by a question, even if it’s not one you consciously asked. Therefore, the questions you ask yourself set the tone for your thought patterns—it’s critical to make a habit of consciously asking yourself positive questions that lead to empowering thoughts.
For example, instead of asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong?” (a negative question that assumes you’re making a mistake), try asking, “What do I need to do differently?” (a positive question that assumes there is a solution and that you can achieve it).
(Shortform note: Limitless author Jim Kwik explains another way to use empowering questions in his podcast Kwik Brain: Intentionally ask yourself questions that prime your brain to look for answers. For example, if you ask yourself, “How can I lose weight?” your mind will naturally focus on things like healthy recipes, local gyms, and convenient at-home workout routines. Kwik’s point is that those things were always there, but your brain was filtering them out until you asked a question that made them relevant. He calls this type of question a dominant question.)
Use Words to Shape Your Experiences
Just as your questions influence your focus and thought patterns, so do your words. Robbins says that you can change your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors by changing the words you habitually use to describe feelings and experiences.
1. Use words that dull negative emotions and intensify positive ones. For example, say that you’re “annoyed” instead of “angry” and “thrilled” instead of “happy.”
(Shortform note: As a counterpoint, some psychologists urge you to accept your emotional experiences—especially the negative ones—without trying to judge them or suppress them. They argue that trying to ignore, downplay, or eliminate negative feelings prevents you from dealing with them in a healthy way; as a result, the negative experiences become more intense and last longer.)
2. When you’re upset, use words that disrupt your emotional pattern. For example, replace the word “frustrated” with “overinvested”—it’s a strange enough word choice that it’ll distract you from your negative feelings and redirect your attention toward the thing you’re actually invested in.
(Shortform note: Another way to disrupt your patterns is to think about upsetting events and emotions in the second-person or third-person. Removing the “I” helps you to create mental and emotional distance between yourself and what’s upsetting you. It can be easier to think about things if you ask yourself, “Why do you feel that way,” or “Why is he upset about that?”)
3. Expand your vocabulary to include words that accurately reflect how you feel. Having a limited vocabulary limits your ability to feel and express emotions. For example, when you say you feel “fine,” does this mean you are peacefully content, or dejectedly resigned?
(Shortform note: One way to more accurately observe and describe your feelings is to consider not only what you’re feeling, but how strongly you feel it. Try gauging your emotional response on a scale from 1 (barely noticeable) to 10 (utterly overwhelming), and consider which words you could use to describe each of those intensity levels.)
Interpret and Learn From Your Emotions
Although you’ve learned strategies for controlling your emotions, Robbins cautions you not to overlook the fact that emotions provide feedback for your actions: Positive emotions let you know that you’re doing something right, and negative emotions signal that you need to alter something.
For this reason, Robbins says, negative emotions (which people often try to avoid) are actually invaluable, because they guide you to the life you want—if you know how to interpret them. For example, fear tells you that there’s a problem looming and you’ll need to be ready to handle it; anger tells you that somebody’s violated one of your personal values.
Robbins asserts that understanding your feelings and acting on them is one way to build a happy and fulfilling life for yourself. Just remember that emotions are only feedback from your mind and body, and that you decide how to respond; the emotions don’t control your actions.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence
The ability to understand your emotions and use them effectively is called emotional intelligence. There are four aspects of emotional intelligence:
Self-awareness: Recognizing your emotions, being able to tell them apart from each other, and understanding why you’re experiencing them.
Self-management: Monitoring and regulating your emotions.
Social-awareness: Practicing recognition and empathy for others’ feelings.
Relationship management: Using your emotions to connect with others more deeply and improve your interpersonal skills.
There are also a number of different activities you can do to boost your emotional intelligence, ranging from cataloging your emotional strengths and weaknesses to practicing mindfulness meditation.
Take the Seven-Day Challenge
You’ve learned practical strategies to transform your life—from reconditioning your beliefs and neuro-associations to altering your habitual questions and words. Now, Robbins urges you to jumpstart your life transformation with a seven-day challenge: Each day for the next week, you’ll tackle an assignment to begin improving a different area of your life.
(Shortform note: Robbins introduces this challenge as a way to begin making significant changes in your life. With this in mind, it could help you to approach this with a mindset of “kaizen,” which Robin Sharma describes in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. Kaizen is a Japanese word that roughly translates to “continuous improvement”—it means that you understand you won’t reach all your goals in a day, but you’re committed to being a little better every day than you were the day before.)
Day 1: Master Your Emotional Patterns
Robbins’s first challenge is to change your habitual emotional patterns. The goal is to experience fewer negative emotions and spend more time in positive, empowering states.
He suggests writing a list of every emotion you experience in a typical week, as well as the situations and events that trigger each one. Next, develop a plan for addressing each negative emotion and replacing it with a different, empowering emotion. The more consistently you do this, the more effectively you’ll change your emotional patterns.
Counterpoint: Accept Your Emotions
It’s not always possible (or even desirable) to dismiss negative emotions and try to force positive ones. In Radical Acceptance, psychologist Tara Brach says that there are two steps to mastering your emotions, neither of which have to do with controlling them:
Recognition: Understand what you’re experiencing; name it and acknowledge it. For example, if you notice that your hands are shaking and you’re flooded with nervous energy, you would recognize that experience as anxiety.
Compassion: Once you understand your feelings, the second step is to meet that experience with compassion. In other words, don’t try to control what you’re feeling or berate yourself for your emotions; let the experience happen and then fade away.
Brach says this method—which is based on Buddhist mindfulness practices—allows you to fully experience your emotions without dwelling on them. As a result, you spend less time in negative mental states.
Day 2: Master Your Physical Life
Robbins’s second challenge is to make a commitment to your physical well-being so that you can enjoy your emotional health to the fullest. Assess your current level of health, make a commitment to maintain your health (or improve it, if needed), and make regular exercise part of your routine.
(Shortform note: Scientific evidence links good physical health to good mental health, which supports Robbins’s Day 2 challenge. For example, regular exercise reduces the effects of anxiety and depression, while boosting your mood and self-esteem. Among other reasons, experts believe exercise improves your mood by increasing blood circulation to the brain.)
Day 3: Master Your Relationship
Robbins’s third challenge is to improve your relationship with your partner. Relationships are not only essential to your well-being, but they are also powerful forces in influencing your beliefs, values, and character.
Robbins urges you to maintain a healthy relationship in the following ways:
1. Talk to your partner about what each of you values most in a relationship.
(Shortform note: In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson argues that everything from your emotions to your goals ultimately stem from values. That’s why mastering your relationship begins with comparing values—it helps you to understand each other much more deeply, and to see where your values align and where they differ.)
2. Prioritize the health of your relationship over winning arguments.
3. Brainstorm pattern disruptions that you’ll both use when either or both of you become really upset.
4. When you notice yourself feeling resistance toward your partner, immediately communicate your feelings and use vocabulary that minimizes the intensity of your negative feelings. For example, using the word “annoyed” instead of “furious,” as we talked about earlier.
(Shortform note: The book Difficult Conversations is a guide for approaching uncomfortable, upsetting, and offensive topics in a productive way. The first and most important piece of advice is: A conversation is not a contest. In other words, don’t go into the conversation assuming that you’re right and your partner is wrong, or with a mindset that you have to win an argument—instead, do whatever it takes to understand your partner’s point of view. Once you understand each other, even if you don’t agree, you’ll be able to have a conversation instead of an argument.)
Day 4: Master Your Financial Life
Financial stress causes intensely disempowering negative emotions. Robbins’s next challenge is to take charge of your finances by doing the following:
- Make a list of your beliefs about money and evaluate whether any of them are holding you back from creating and maintaining wealth. Read books about finance so you can accurately evaluate your beliefs.
- Commit to investing a portion of your money. Decide how much you’ll invest—at least 10 percent of your income—and set up a system to have that money automatically taken from your paycheck and put directly into your investments.
- Find a financial coach to help you create a thorough financial plan, and make sure that you understand it.
(Shortform note: In The Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey similarly argues that to take control of your financial life, you must first overcome false beliefs about money; however, Ramsey argues that many obstacles are societal myths, rather than individual beliefs. He also suggests that you set aside an emergency fund of at least $1,000 before taking any other step, such as investing or paying off debt—Ramsey believes a buffer against unexpected expenses is a crucial first step toward financial security and peace of mind. Finally, he doesn’t specifically suggest getting a financial adviser, but he does emphasize the importance of educating yourself about finances.)
Day 5: Master Your Behavior
Robbins’s fifth challenge is to create a personal code of conduct that ensures you live by your values every single day.
Because acting in line with your values creates positive emotions, Robbins suggests you start by writing a list of seven to 10 emotional states you want to experience every day. Next, write some guidelines for each emotional state: How do you reach it? How do you know when you have?
(Shortform note: Robbins suggests that the seven to 10 emotional states you choose should align with your values, but doesn’t specify how many values should be covered. In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown advises you to choose only two core values. She argues that having too many values renders them meaningless. If you’re having trouble narrowing down the values that are most important to you, Brown suggests starting with a list of 10 and whittling it down.)
Day 6: Master Your Time
Depending upon what you’re doing and the frame of mind you’re in, time can seemingly pass too quickly or drag on forever. However, Robbins says you can learn to control your perception of time and work it to your advantage. He offers two strategies:
1. Practice switching your focus to the past, present, or future. Focusing too much on one time frame puts you in a disempowered state, while exercising this muscle gives you control.
(Shortform note: There’s a common belief that focusing too much on the past leads to depression, while focusing too much on the future leads to anxiety. The given solution is usually to be present—however, Robbins is arguing that focusing too much on the present causes its own problems, such as an inability to learn from past mistakes or plan for the future. Therefore, the key is to take a broad view of time that encompasses past, present, and future, and limit the time you spend dwelling on any one of those.)
2. Create a to-do list of tasks that will have the most meaningful impact on your life (like the exercises in this book), rather than those that are merely urgent (like returning phone calls). Focusing on what’s important instead of what’s urgent will help you escape the feeling that there’s never enough time.
Make the Most of Your Time With the Eisenhower Matrix
Former US President Dwight Eisenhower created the Eisenhower Matrix as a method to prioritize items on your to-do list and determine how to approach each task. The matrix is divided into four quadrants:
Important and urgent—do it. You should do tasks that are both significant and time-sensitive as soon as possible (or at the required time). Examples include treating a serious injury or going to a doctor’s appointment.
Important but not urgent—schedule it. Something that you need to do, but don’t need to do right now, should be written into your schedule so that you make sure to get to it in a timely manner. Examples include planning for the future, working out, and making time for rest and recreation. Robbins’s exercises and challenges fall into this category.
Urgent but not important—delegate it. The ideal way to handle tasks that are time-sensitive, but not important to you, is to get someone else to do them (preferably someone to whom they are important). Another way of thinking about this quadrant is time-sensitive tasks that don’t need you, specifically, to do them. Examples include running errands and attending (some) meetings.
Neither important nor urgent—ignore it. Something that’s not important and not time-sensitive is, by definition, something that you can safely ignore. Examples include mindlessly scrolling social media, answering unimportant phone calls, and playing video games.
Day 7: Rest
After working diligently all week, it’s time to rest and enjoy yourself. Robbins offers two options for this final challenge:
- Make and execute a plan to do something fun.
- Do something spontaneous that brings you joy.
Rest Is as Important as Work
Psychologists are coming to understand the importance of rest, recreation, and leisure time. Far from being a waste of time, recreation actually improves your health and your mood.
Studies have linked recreational activities with decreased stress, anxiety, and depression, and with increased overall well-being. Furthermore, viewing leisure activities as pointless or a waste of time makes those activities ineffective.
In short, to maintain your health, you have to allow yourself to indulge in things you enjoy. Refusing to do so—or begrudging yourself the time you spend on them—causes your mental and physical health to suffer.
Change Yourself, Then Change the World
You now know that you have the power to make individual decisions that improve your life. However, Robbins says, you also have the power to participate in the joint decisions that people make collectively as communities, societies, nations, and the world. These joint decisions—ranging from how we take care of our neighborhoods to how we tackle climate change—will determine whether we collectively succumb to or overcome the problems we face.
Hold yourself, your community, our society, and our world to a higher standard. Stop thinking that chronic problems such as hunger and homelessness are permanent and inevitable. Instead, recognize that these problems all stem from people’s values and their choices. To solve these problems, Robbins urges us to use and teach the lessons in this book to help people identify their values and make choices that will be better for everyone.
Use Interdependence and Synergy to Solve Big Problems
Stephen Covey’s self-help book First Things First recommends creating the best outcomes for everybody by developing a mindset of interdependence and synergy.
Covey asserts that all of our lives are connected, and that by depending on one another, we create synergy (effective cooperation). For example, think about how many people’s work goes into a simple ear of corn that you buy at the grocery store: the farmer who grew it, the driver who transported it, and the employee who put it on display, just to name a few. The cooperation of these people makes it possible to buy corn cheaply and conveniently. Their efforts synergize with one another to create favorable outcomes for everybody involved—much better than if each of us had to grow our own corn independently.
Robbins’s system is about mastering yourself and overcoming your own problems, but he encourages us to also use this information for the greater good, and interdependence and synergy aids that notion.
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