At 100 years old, actor and comedian Dick Van Dyke could easily settle into a role he once played on screen—that of a grumpy old man who dwells in the past. Instead, he stays young at heart. Van Dyke dances in the kitchen with his wife, sings a cappella with musicians decades younger than he is, and cooks up new Halloween attractions for his grandchildren.
In 100 Rules for Living to 100 (2024), Van Dyke (with the help of co-author Tal McThenia) looks back on nearly a century of memories to share what he’s learned about living well. He argues that longevity requires staying alive in spirit. Read on to discover attitudes and habits that can help you maintain a youthful spirit, along with an exercise to help you put them into practice.
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3 Ways to Stay Young at Heart
Van Dyke writes that aging doesn’t have to change how you approach life. Though growing old is inevitable, you can stay young at heart—maintaining your sense of play and childlike wonder throughout your life. He believes that a happy, meaningful life depends less on your circumstances than on your attitude. Van Dyke himself faces physical limitations, including diminished hearing and vision, and he’s lost nearly all of his lifelong friends. However, he insists that none of this has made him a cranky old man.
(Shortform note: Gerontologist Kerry Burnight supports Van Dyke’s view that attitude shapes how we experience aging. In Joyspan, she points out that most people assume joy fades with age because society portrays older adults as unhappy and less capable—a bias she links to the frequent depiction of elderly characters as villains in children’s fairy tales. But Burnight argues aging actually changes your brain in many ways that support joy: Life experience makes you wiser, you grow more confident in who you are without needing others’ approval, and you handle stress better. If you focus on what aging gives you instead of what it takes away, you can keep joy alive well into your later years, as Van Dyke suggests.)
To maintain a youthful spirit regardless of your age, Van Dyke recommends being playful, looking for the humor in everyday life, and staying focused on the present. Let’s get into the details.
#1: Be Playful
First, Van Dyke recommends that you act playfully throughout life; he rejects the idea that people should act their age. He adds a spark of playfulness to his life in many ways, such as by pulling pranks, dancing with his wife, and singing while he exercises. Finding ways to be playful prevents you from growing irritable as you get older. It also focuses your attention on the present moment, pushing from your mind concerns of the past or future and helping you interrupt anxiety, rumination, or regret.
(Shortform note: In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin says you can make everyday tasks more playful if you stop treating efficiency as your default mode. She explains that we tend to shut down goofiness even when there’s no real reason to hurry. If you catch yourself doing this, pause and ask yourself two questions: Does this actually need to be done right now, and can you afford a moment to be silly? Being goofy lifts your mood and spreads joy to those around you, since people naturally mirror each other’s emotional states.)
Van Dyke acknowledges that play might not come naturally to an adult. Children play as their way of engaging with the world, but adults often view play as silly and unproductive. To remedy this, he encourages you to spend time with children to return to this playful orientation toward the world. Try making a child laugh with silly faces or by mirroring their funny movements. At a Kennedy Center event, Van Dyke spotted a toddler dancing and started imitating her moves, which led to an impromptu dance between them. The interaction made him feel instantly happy and young.
(Shortform note: There’s a helpful distinction worth making here between being childish and being childlike. Playfulness is a childlike quality, and there are several more of these instincts that largely get suppressed as we age, including curiosity, imagination, and a deep bond with the natural world. It’s good to remember to slow down, spend more time outdoors, and embrace moments that spark wonder and creativity.)
| Are We Having Less Fun These Days? Many psychologists argue that not only do adults struggle to play, but adults today have even less fun than previous generations did. In The Power of Fun, Catherine Price points to two reasons for this. First, industrialization changed how we think about time. When workers started getting paid by the hour, time became equivalent to money, making leisure feel wasteful. Consumer culture can reinforce this if it pushes people to work more to buy more things that leave less time for play. Second, smartphones have crowded out what Price calls True Fun—the kind of fun that leaves you energized. Phones are designed to be addictive, offering only distraction and passive entertainment. They create the illusion of connection while actually isolating us, making us less likely to have real conversations or invest in quality time together. They also fuel stress and busyness, which makes spontaneous play even harder. Price agrees with Van Dyke’s view that playfulness is important. She identifies it as a core aspect of True Fun, defining it as a curious, open attitude of doing something purely for the sake of doing it, with no need to be productive. Reconnecting with play helps you return to your most authentic self while also boosting creativity, improving memory, and reducing stress. |
#2: Look for Humor Everywhere
In addition to being playful, Van Dyke says you can stay young at heart by learning to find the funny side of life’s absurdities and frustrations to avoid becoming bitter as you grow older. Humor can interrupt a bad mood and restore your perspective, especially when you face the physical and cognitive changes that come with aging.
For instance, Van Dyke finds himself spilling things, forgetting things, and shrinking in height. Instead of letting these changes wear him down, he turns them into material for jokes he shares with family and friends. Finding comedy in the strange and uncomfortable parts of life helps you stay lighthearted and keeps you connected to the people around you.
(Shortform note: This advice is exactly what I’ve been trying to implement lately. If I can’t find humor in whatever is irritating me, I at least try to see the humor in my ridiculous, out-of-proportion reaction to it. I can be childlike by finding amusement in my childishness!)
| The Science Behind Seeking Out Laughter Science supports Van Dyke’s habit of finding humor in aging. In The Humor Habit, Paul Osincup warns that as we become “mature” adults, many of us suffer from chronic humorlessness that hurts our happiness and health. People who rarely laugh face a significantly higher risk of dying at any given age compared to those who laugh frequently. Regular laughter sharpens memory, boosts the immune system, and extends your life. Brain chemistry explains why humor is so effective. When you find something funny, your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins—chemicals that reduce pain, ease anxiety, and strengthen your bond with others. Osincup also echoes Van Dyke’s advice to actively look for funny moments, which can retrain your brain to recognize more things as humorous. This is due to neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to reshape itself based on how you use it, the same way muscles grow stronger with exercise. |
#3: Enjoy the Present
Beyond play and humor, another part of staying young at heart is engaging with the present instead of getting caught up in the past. Van Dyke explains that many older people drift into the habit of living in their memories. However, there’s a difference between looking back on old memories fondly and retreating into the past. Reminiscing can be meaningful and can help you bond with others, such as when you’re writing a memoir or laughing over old stories with a friend. But it becomes a problem when it pulls you away from the people and possibilities directly in front of you.
He illustrates this with a story from early in his first marriage. He and his wife stayed at the guesthouse of a retired actress who would appear at their door each evening to share stories of her glory days on stage. However, Van Dyke and his wife were just starting out in life, so these stories only made them feel drained.
(Shortform note: In The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle describes two ways we relate to time. Clock time is time we use in practical ways, such as to make appointments, learn from a mistake, or plan goals. Because it shapes how you act in the present, clock time is healthy. Psychological time is a preoccupation with the past or future in a nonproductive way. The retired actress whom Van Dyke describes had fallen into this trap. Instead of engaging with the real people in front of her, she retreated into her memories. Tolle argues that this backward focus creates an unsatisfying life because it wastes the present, which is the only moment that really exists.)
To avoid living in the past, Van Dyke says to pay attention to how you feel. When your energy flags or your thinking becomes unfocused, turn back toward the present. Think about who and what is in front of you, what your plans are for the day, and where you want to be in the future.
Wrapping Up
Van Dyke’s life advice goes far beyond his recommendations for staying young at heart. Check out his book 100 Rules for Living to 100 and Shortform’s comprehensive guide to it.
Exercise: Rediscover Your Playful Self
Van Dyke believes that staying playful is one of the best ways to maintain a youthful spirit. It clears your mind of anxiety and regret and pulls you back into the present moment. As adults, most of us have learned to suppress our silliness in favor of being productive and responsible. In this exercise, consider how and why that tendency shows up and what you can do to bring playfulness into your life.
- Think of a recent moment when you held back from being playful or goofy. What was happening at that moment? In what way did you feel the urge to be playful?
- Try to remember what concerns were on your mind around that time. Were you distracted by something from the past or a thought about the future? How did those concerns affect your mood?
- What might have changed—in your mood, your connection with others, or your outlook—if you had let yourself be playful?
- What’s one small, specific thing you could do this week to add more play into your life?
