What to Read After "The Let Them Theory"

Introduction: Let Me Read Some More Books

Robbins’s key idea in The Let Them Theory is simple: Let them think and do what they will, and let me focus on my actions, goals, and growth. But going from theory to practice might be a challenge, since many of us have a lifelong habit of keeping other people top of mind. If you need some inspiration to keep you focused on yourself, here are 13 books that’ll help you deepen your grasp of the theory and apply it to your life.

Books to Dig Deeper into Robbins’s Theory

Robbins points to Stoicism, Buddhism, and radical acceptance as sources of inspiration for her theory. Each of these belief systems encourages accepting reality as it is, without judging, resisting, or trying to change it. If you’d like to explore these sources of inspiration more deeply, the following books are great places to start.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius: Ancient Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius shares his thoughts about the importance of logic over emotion and helps you train yourself to think rationally. Many scholars consider this to be one of the essential texts of Stoicism—a philosophy whose central idea is that rational thinking can guide you through any hardship.

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön: Buddhist nun Chödrön explores how to find courage and compassion amid pain, loss, and uncertainty. Drawing on ancient Buddhist wisdom and practices, she shows us how to cultivate self-awareness and acceptance and face life’s challenges with grace and resilience.

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach: Radical acceptance is a meditative practice where we acknowledge what we’re experiencing—positive or negative—and welcome it. Brach, a psychologist, discusses how we can use this practice to live our lives more fully, since it encourages us to bring our full attention to and accept the present moment.

(Shortform tip: Nonfiction books often mention other books and writers. Consider keeping a running list of those mentions and using that list to help you find your next read. Not only will you discover other books to enjoy, but you’ll also deepen your grasp of the original book because you’ll better understand its intellectual and literary influences.)

Books for Shifting Your Mindset and Finding Peace

Robbins teaches how to escape the trap of investing more energy in others’ thoughts and actions than in your own. The next three books teach you how to sidestep other common traps and find more peace as a result.

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris: Humans are caught in a happiness trap, where the harder we try to be happy, the less happy we become. Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy techniques, Harris teaches you how to escape the happiness trap by accepting painful thoughts and emotions as part of life, while clarifying and living your values.

Essentialism by Greg McKeown: We try to do it all. But because we’re going in so many directions, we make little progress in any of them. Worse yet, most of our activities are trivial. The way out of this trap is to practice essentialism: “Do less, but better.” McKeown explains how you can eliminate the nonessentials and invest your energy where it’ll have the greatest return.

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga: This psychologist and writer duo agrees with Robbins that you probably care too much about what others think of you. But they offer a slightly different solution: Aim to feel useful. When you’re helping others, you feel no emotional attachment to what they think of you.

(Shortform tip: Internalizing a new mindset isn’t easy. If you decide that you want to shift how you approach something—whether it’s happiness, your priorities, or people’s opinions—be your own mindset coach. When you encounter a situation where the new mindset feels relevant, talk to yourself through the situation, outlining the best action to take. Coaching yourself out loud helps you remember to apply your new values and approach, and it can motivate you to follow through.)

Books for Taking Back Control of Your Life

Robbins says giving up on controlling what others think, feel, and do lets you focus on what you can control: yourself. The following three books offer more tools for taking back control of your life.

Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans: Many people feel stuck in the wrong life, thinking they haven’t found the missing puzzle piece that’ll make everything fall into place. However, Burnett and Evans argue that there are multiple paths to career and life happiness, and they share their methods for planning a happy and meaningful life.

Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo: What’s the secret to achieving your dreams, overcoming life’s challenges, and living the most fulfilling life possible? In her New York Times best seller, entrepreneur Marie Forleo contends that the secret is to live by the philosophy that “everything is figureoutable.”

10% Happier by Dan Harris: Following his meltdown on live television, former news anchor Dan Harris went on a self-improvement journey that showed him that anyone can benefit from meditation. In 10% Happier, he explores how mindfulness and meditation can allow you to get control of your anxiety, manage your ego, and become more compassionate.

(Shortform tip: If you need a more immediate tool to help you regain control of your life, make a list of everything that’s causing you stress or anxiety. The simple act of putting your concerns on paper can feel liberating. Then, go through the list and decide on one small action you can take to manage each source of stress. For example, if a bad weather forecast is making you stressed because you might have to cancel your weekend plans, make a contingency plan to feel more prepared. Just keep in mind that, for some sources of stress, the only action you can take is to accept it and work through the negative emotions that come up.)

More Self-Improvement Best Sellers by Female Authors

Robbins has noted that much of her advice is aimed at women. But that doesn’t mean only women benefit from her ideas. Here are two other Shortform favorites written by female authors—and often labeled for female audiences—that anyone can benefit from reading:

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest: Wiest explores the interplay between our thoughts, perceptions, and the way we experience life. She argues that our negative feelings aren’t a result of our life circumstances, but of our thoughts about these circumstances. Therefore, to feel better, we have to change the way we think.

We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers: Self-made millionaire Rodgers argues that all women can and should strive to become millionaires. Although her tips are aimed at women, anyone striving to be a millionaire can learn from her ideas. She dismantles the myths and stereotypes that prevent you from earning more, explains how to manage your time and energy, and teaches you to increase your wealth by recognizing the worth of your work.

(Shortform tip: As readers, we often gravitate toward authors who have a background or life experience similar to ours. Think about the last few books you read and consider whether you might want to explore books by authors of different genders, cultures, or time periods—doing so may expose you to ideas you’ve never considered before. You can also diversify your reading by exploring new genres. For instance, say you mostly read self-help books. Self-help authors tend to focus on what individuals can do to improve their lives. Conversely, authors in other genres often emphasize the importance of societal and cultural structures in shaping your life. Consider reading books by sociologists, historians, or cultural critics to complement the insights from self-improvement thinkers.)

More Books by Mel Robbins

Robbins’s fans tend to appreciate her friendly and accessible approach to self-improvement. If you want more of this, read some of her other books:

The High 5 Habit: Imagine a practice that can boost your confidence, amplify your positivity, and propel you toward your goals. Robbins argues that starting every day by giving yourself a high five in the mirror can help you silence self-doubt and adopt an attitude of confidence and self-love, allowing you to achieve your dreams.

The 5 Second Rule: Do you feel stuck and dissatisfied with your life? Do you struggle to take steps toward self-improvement, live in the moment, or overcome procrastination? If so, Robbins explains how you can assert agency over your life using a single method: counting down from five to one and acting when you reach one.

(Shortform tip: If you’d prefer to listen to Robbins’s advice, her podcast features her thoughts and tips for self-improvement, as well as conversations with experts on topics like mental health, career growth, and relationships.)