What to Read After "How to Talk to Anyone"

Introduction: Book Worm or Social Butterfly? You Can Be Both!

The skills you learned in How to Talk to Anyone are probably helping you make positive first impressions, build rapport with others, and have meaningful conversations. To continue honing your social skills, check out these 12 books chosen by Shortform writers.

Books to Expand on Lowndes’s Ideas

Lowndes’s book is packed with advice for successful conversations. These three books take some of her ideas further, offering more insights and tips you can apply right away.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay: To get someone to like you, Lowndes suggests acting like you’re already friends. Hay—who discusses the relationship between positive thoughts and positive results—takes this idea further. She says to affirm to yourself, “I like myself,” before approaching others. This sends out emotional signals that will make people want to like you.

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes: Lowndes says that when you’re talking to someone, you should focus on how you want them to feel, not on how you want to be perceived. In her book on stepping out of your comfort zone, Rhimes offers a practical example of this logic: Accepting compliments can feel presumptuous, but when you don’t accept them, you’re telling the other person that they’re wrong and shouldn’t have wasted their time.

Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards: Lowndes argues that people form an instinctive first impression of you based on your body language. Van Edwards explains that there are 11 different types of body language, each emitting signals about you. She outlines how to use each of these to project charisma—the quality that draws others to you.

(Shortform tip: Take Van Edwards’s online quiz to test how well you decipher body language.)

Books With a How-to Format

Lowndes’s how-to approach to communications turns abstract theory into practical tips. These three books also offer actionable advice for specific aspects of communication:

Talk Like TED by Carmine Gallo: Being a strong public speaker is one of the most powerful skills you can build. According to communications coach Carmine Gallo, the key to becoming a good public speaker is applying nine key principles, including speaking with passion, incorporating a shocking moment, and presenting something new to your audience.

The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher: Are you tired of arguing, talking in circles, or feeling misunderstood? Fisher offers practical techniques for communicating effectively in everyday situations, from family disagreements to arguments with strangers. He explains how to connect with others, have healthier arguments, and assert yourself respectfully.

Writing for Busy Readers by Todd Rogers and Jessica Lasky-Fink: What if you need to communicate effectively in writing? Rogers and Lasky-Fink teach you how to get your message across clearly and convince readers that your content is worth engaging with. Their evidence-based techniques can improve your impact, no matter what you’re writing about.

(Shortform tip: Whether you’re looking to improve your skills as a public speaker, conversationalist, or writer, these books are a great first step. The next step is to put their advice into practice. Research shows that meaningful improvement requires deliberate practice, which includes seeking feedback and continuously pushing yourself beyond your current abilities.)

Books to Navigate a Heart-to-Heart

Some conversations are much more than chit-chat. These four books will help you navigate talks that are necessary but challenging:

Difficult Conversations by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, and Sheila Heen: Difficult conversations are a constant throughout life. But they’re also the mark of a healthy relationship—if we engage in them successfully. This book can help you master challenging conversations so your relationships have the best chance at success.

Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson: If you’re in a struggling romantic relationship, you don’t need to give up yet. Johnson explains that most relationship conflicts start when partners don’t feel safe sharing their emotions with each other. She guides you through a series of conversations you and your partner can have to overcome this barrier and reconnect.

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: Brown provides descriptions and explanations of 87 emotions, along with the situations where you’re likely to encounter them. She says many people can only recognize and name three emotions: happiness, sadness, and anger. This lack of awareness and vocabulary blocks us from being able to fully experience and share our feelings.

(Shortform tip: If a conversation is making you feel nervous or overwhelmed, consider being upfront about it. You can say, “This is hard for me to talk about.” This signals to the other person that this isn’t easy for you—and might put them more at ease, too.)

Books With Insights for Work and Life

Lowndes’s tips are useful whether you’re trying to ask someone out on a date or convince a client to try your product. These three books also offer versatile advice you can apply in a variety of contexts, such as at home, at work, or out in the world.

Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini: True experts in the art of persuasion start changing your mind before even conveying their argument. Cialdini argues that to make your audience receptive to your message, you must optimize the moments before persuasion. He teaches you how to “pre-suade” your audience by aligning with people’s unspoken preferences.

Principles by Ray Dalio: This is a manual for rational thinking and decision-making. Dalio argues that your ego, emotions, and blind spots prevent you from finding the truth in a situation. He shares his main strategies to circumvent these weaknesses, including extreme honesty and transparency, productive conflict, and credibility-centered decision-making.

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: Would you like to learn how to control your emotional reactions at home or at work? Or better understand others’ emotions? Goleman gives a comprehensive look at what emotions are, why we have them, how we can better manage them, and why the well-being of humanity might depend on us doing so.

(Shortform tip: The soft skills these authors and Lowndes emphasize may be especially important in this “Age of AI.” Experts believe effective communication, problem-solving, and critical thinking will be increasingly crucial as technical work becomes more automated with technologies like AI.)