Shortcut: Ways to Build a Life That Matters

Connect to Something Bigger

You’re working on yourself, solving your problems, optimizing your life—but when you pause, you wonder: Does any of this truly matter—is it even working? I still feel like something’s missing. The truth is, a life focused largely inward—on self-improvement, fixing flaws, and personal achievement—can leave us feeling hollow, no matter how hard we work.

What’s the issue? Experts in psychology, philosophy, and leadership suggest it’s lacking connection to something beyond yourself. Fulfillment comes from cultivating inner qualities that serve others, creating purpose through your choices, practicing generosity, and building community around shared values. Here are four authors’ recommendations for building a meaningful life.

1. Develop Inner Character

In The Road to Character, New York Times columnist David Brooks argues that in the 1940s, Western culture began prioritizing external success—money, status, fame, and promotions—over inner character. As a result, many of us have become focused on ourselves and our personal achievements, losing sight of how we serve others, which leaves us feeling unfulfilled.

The solution? Instead of focusing on your “resume virtues” (like achievements and accolades), develop your “eulogy virtues”—character traits people will remember about you after you’ve died. Brooks explains that building character through service to others, humility, and self-restraint gives you something that chasing external success can’t: deep satisfaction and positive impact on others.

To build your eulogy virtues:

• Think “we” instead of “me.” Focus on supporting people around you, serving your community, and choosing work that uses your talents to benefit others, not just yourself.
• Practice humility. Honestly assess your flaws and admit what you don’t know. Real growth happens when you set your ego aside and acknowledge you’ve got work to do to be a better person.
• Do the hard work of consistent moral growth. Commit to making choices that build your character every day (resist the urge to brag, choose long-term virtue over short-term pleasure) so strong moral habits become ingrained and come to define who you are.

2. Create Meaning Daily

In Man’s Search for Meaning, psychiatrist Viktor Frankl recounts surviving four Nazi concentration camps, where he observed that prisoners who actively created meaning—by having rich inner lives, future goals, or finding purpose in their suffering—were better able to endure their circumstances than those who saw their suffering as meaningless. Frankl later argued that many people feel an “existential vacuum”—a sense of emptiness and frustration with existence—because they haven’t found what gives their lives meaning.

The solution? Actively create meaning by making purposeful choices every day. Frankl explains that each decision you make becomes a permanent part of your life story—and to build a life that matters, you must make choices today that you’ll be proud of when you look back at the end of your life.

To make purposeful choices every day:

• Use the “deathbed” perspective. When facing important decisions, imagine yourself at the end of your life and ask: “Would I be proud of this choice?” This helps you prioritize what matters over what’s easiest or most immediately gratifying.
• Pursue work that feels purposeful. Choose projects and activities that allow you to create or accomplish things aligned with your values.
• Find meaning through love and experience. Make time for loving relationships, nature, art, and culture. These connections are essential sources of meaning that shape who you become.

3. Be Generous

In Give and Take, Wharton professor Adam Grant argues that people fall into three reciprocity styles in the workplace: givers (who give more than they get), takers (who try to get more than they give), and matchers (who give on a quid pro quo basis). While many people assume takers come out on top, Grant’s research shows that givers are often the most successful, building more supportive networks and inspiring their colleagues. Yet many people hold back from giving, afraid of being taken advantage of or unsure that their small acts of help make any real difference.

The solution? Practice pragmatic generosity: Give to others as openly as possible while also consciously protecting your time and energy. Grant says this balance allows you to sustain your generosity over time, build lasting goodwill and trust, and avoid feeling exploited or burned out.

To practice pragmatic generosity:

• Help “overlooked” people. Be generous with newcomers, quiet contributors, and people in roles that others dismiss as “unimportant.” They’ll remember your support and often find ways to help you when opportunities arise.
• Do “five-minute favors.” If you can help someone in five minutes or less, do it, no matter what it is or who it’s for. This keeps generosity manageable and makes others see you as someone they can count on.
• Give freely—until it costs you. Be generous from the outset—but if someone repeatedly takes advantage of your help, start matching their effort to avoid becoming a doormat or depleting yourself.

4. Build Community

In Tribes, entrepreneur and marketing expert Seth Godin says that tribes—groups of people united by a leader, shared belief, and bond with one another—provide a sense of belonging and purpose that humans naturally crave. While anyone can create this kind of community by stepping up and leading a tribe, most of us never do because we've been trained to follow—so we instead wait for permission or perfect conditions before taking action.

The solution? Stop waiting for approval and start leading a tribe around something you believe in. Godin explains that leadership isn’t about having the right title or credentials—it’s about having a vision and bringing people together to accomplish what no individual could do alone.

To lead your tribe:

• Just start. Don’t wait for funding, credentials, or ideal conditions. Create the Facebook group, organize the first meeting, or publish your idea. The only thing holding you back from leading is yourself.
• Join people around a shared belief. Choose a cause or purpose that resonates with you and other people, then create a space to communicate and stay connected (social media, regular meetups).
• Focus on community bonds, not size. A small group of committed believers creates more impact than a large group of passive participants; and strong connections will naturally help your tribe grow.

The Bottom Line

Building a life that matters takes practice and intention—you won’t shift your focus overnight. Start with what feels most natural. Practicing humility and honestly assessing your character can open the door to serving others more fully, while asking the deathbed question before making decisions can help you prioritize generosity over self-interest. Creating a meaningful life doesn’t mean abandoning personal goals, but rather, directing energy toward connection and purpose beyond yourself.

Read the Full Guides

Read the full Shortform guides mentioned in this article (image: PeopleImages):

• The Road to Character
• Man’s Search for Meaning
• Give and Take
• Tribes

Join the Conversation

What’s one small step from this article you could take this week? Supporting someone around you? Asking “if I were at the end of my life looking back, would I be proud of this choice?” Doing a five-minute favor? Or starting a group chat about something you care about? Share your thoughts in the comments!