Shortcut: 4 Ways to Grow Your Network

Networking—developing mutually beneficial professional relationships—is crucial to career success. Good networkers get access to insights, opportunities, and career paths that can put them far ahead of their competition. But what’s the secret to cultivating those connections? In this article, we’ll explore advice from four experts for growing your circle of contacts.

1: Pursue Weak Ties

In The Defining Decade, Meg Jay recommends that you prioritize reaching out to weak ties—people you encounter infrequently or who are connected to you through a mutual friend or coworker. Weak ties can help your career more than strong ties—people you know well—because they give you access to information, people, and opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise know about. You also have to act more professionally when connecting with weak ties, which may counteract the behavioral complacency you might fall into when interacting with your strong ties, whom you feel comfortable around.

A great way to approach a weak tie is to ask for a small, interesting, specific, and easy-to-accomplish favor. When someone does you a favor, they’re far more likely to do you another in the future—this is due to a quirk of human nature where when someone helps you, their brain reasons that they must like you, and therefore, they’re inclined to help you again later. Research your target to find information that might connect you, and don’t be vague—for example, don’t just ask them to meet you for coffee, but instead ask to pick their brains about a certain study they worked on.

2: Don’t Be Shy

Beyond weak ties, Keith Ferrazzi advises in Never Eat Alone that you approach total strangers with whom you have something in common—for example, business people at conferences or fellow students in a class you’re taking.

To overcome shyness, Ferrazzi recommends modeling yourself after a confident friend or colleague. Observe how they interact in social and professional situations, and over time, you’ll start replicating their confident mannerisms.

He also advises that you join a club relevant to your hobbies and interests. You’ll be expected to introduce yourself to strangers, but because you share interests, you’ll automatically have topics to talk about, and you’ll feel less pressure about it. Once you feel confident in the group, move to become a leader within it. This will allow you to meet even more people—for example, the leaders of similar local groups.

3. Be a Giver

In Give and Take, Adam Grant agrees that weak ties will benefit you more than strong ties, but he notes that to effectively leverage your weak ties, you need to be a Giver—a person who typically gives more than they receive, and who helps others even when it costs them unreciprocated time, money, or effort to do so.

Being a Giver will build a useful network for you more effectively than if you’re a Taker (someone who takes more than they give) or a Matcher (someone who tries to balance the two equally). This is because you can’t predict who will be useful to you in the future, and if you make a habit of helping only those you believe will help you in return, you’ll miss connections that one day turn out to be useful.

Grant says being a Giver is especially important when you’re approaching a particular type of weak tie—the dormant tie. These are people you used to see often but have since lost touch with. Dormant ties are far more likely to respond to someone from their past if there was good will in that previous relationship. People tend to think in terms of “justice,” and are happy to reward those who have helped them but are likely to “punish” those who haven’t.

4: Be Likeable

In The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz notes that you have to be a likeable person for others to help you. If you’re not likeable, you won’t be offered opportunities, insights, or jobs, even if you’re highly qualified. You have to fit in with others to achieve success.

You can’t fake likeability—if you try, you’ll inspire contempt. Schwartz offers tips to cultivate your likeability:

• Take initiative to build friendships: Introduce yourself to people at every opportunity, whether it’s at a work event or on an elevator.
• Make sure you remember other people’s names, and know how to pronounce them.
• Offer sincere compliments to strangers.
• Recognize that no one is perfect, so if someone makes a mistake, be forgiving.
• Don’t try to change other people’s beliefs or opinions.
• Don’t monopolize conversations—successful people let others do the talking. This is called “conversation generosity,” and it makes others see you as an interested listener.

The Bottom Line

Networking can be daunting, but once you overcome your initial reluctance, you’ll likely find that far more opportunities start crossing your path. Just remember that it’s an ongoing process—and, it’s OK if some people don’t respond well. It’s unrealistic to expect to “click” with everyone you meet, so don’t get disheartened if some of your attempts to connect are unsuccessful. Pick yourself up and try again with someone else.

Read the Full Guides

Shortform note: Read the full Shortform guides mentioned in this article (image: Pixabay):

• The Defining Decade
• Never Eat Alone
• Give and Take
• The Magic of Thinking Big

Join the Conversation

What weak ties have helped you? How did you connect with them? Share your comments!