Quick Help: 10 Ways to Make Friends as an Adult

The Challenge

Sixty-one percent of Americans say close friendships are essential for a fulfilling life, but these connections become harder to maintain after age 25, when our social networks typically begin to shrink.

Without the built-in social infrastructure of school or college, many adults struggle to find natural opportunities for friendship. Work schedules, family obligations, and the shift to remote work have made it harder to form the casual connections that often lead to meaningful relationships. Adding to these practical challenges, it can feel embarrassing to acknowledge that you don't have the friendships you want, and fear of being rejected can make reaching out to potential new friends especially daunting.

These 10 practical tips can help you navigate the process of making friends as an adult (keep an eye out for the two or three that might be most useful to you):

1. Own that you want connection. Accept that you want more meaningful friendships—a natural human desire—rather than feeling embarrassed about not having the connections you want. Being honest about this desire and understanding that most people share it can help you move past shame and focus on building relationships.
2. Be open to different types of friendships. Expand your definition of friendship beyond “best-friend-forever” relationships with just your peers, so you don’t miss out on other meaningful connections. Cultivating various types of relationships with people of all ages—casual work friends, neighborhood acquaintances, activity partners—can help you build a richer, more sustainable social network and feel more connected overall.
3. Mine existing connections. Look for friendship potential within your current social circle—including colleagues, acquaintances, and friends you’re not in close touch with—instead of feeling pressured to meet entirely new people. Building on these connections can feel less daunting than trying to form relationships from scratch, and people often appreciate unexpected reconnection more than you’d expect.
4. Find friends through what you love. Pursue activities that genuinely interest you—whether art classes, volunteer work, or recreational sports—rather than forcing yourself into social situations where you may not have much in common with people. You’re more likely to form authentic friendships when you meet people while doing things you enjoy.
5. Join recurring group activities. Sign up for classes or groups that meet regularly—like book clubs, writing classes, or hobby groups—instead of one-off events that lack the repeated interactions required to build friendships. Meeting with the same people week after week creates natural opportunities for connection that adult life often lacks, helping turn acquaintances into friends.
6. Move online friends offline. Transform your online interactions into in-person connections so potentially meaningful relationships don’t stay trapped in the digital world. Follow up with people you click with online through direct messages or texts—small steps that can turn screen-based connections into real friendships.
7. Offer clear invitations. Replace vague “we should hang out sometime” suggestions with specific plans—like meeting for lunch or grabbing coffee after a workout class—so potential friendships don’t fade with open-ended promises. Direct invitations show you’re genuinely interested and make it easier for others to say yes.
8. Nurture budding connections. Reach out regularly to people you’d like to know better (setting reminders can help) to ensure that promising connections don’t slip away in the rush of daily life. If a colleague mentions a show you like or a neighbor talks about gardening, send them a relevant article or ask a specific question about their interest to turn a casual connection into a real friendship.
9. Push past the pull of staying home. Follow through on social plans even when you feel like canceling, so the comfort of solitude doesn’t keep you from potentially rewarding connections. While sometimes you genuinely need to recharge, taking the risk to show up often leaves you feeling better than staying in your comfort zone.
10. Practice patience and persistence. Remember that friendships take time to develop, and that expecting instant closeness can leave you frustrated and more likely to give up on promising connections. Research suggests it takes about 90 hours of interaction to build a casual friendship and 200 hours for close bonds, so focus on enjoying the process as much as you can instead of rushing results.

Where to Begin

Which of these friendship-building strategies feels most manageable to start with? Try just one approach this week—whether reaching out to share an article with someone you’d like to know better or joining a regular group activity that interests you. Remember, developing meaningful friendships takes time, but each small step creates new opportunities for connection.

Resources

• Fortune: Three easy steps to making friends as an adult, according to a friendship coach
• Independent: I’m 32 and making friends has never been harder—or more embarrassing
• Pew Research Center: What does friendship look like in America?
• The Atlantic: A Ridiculous, Perfect Way to Make Friends
• The Atlantic: The Misgivings of Friend-Making
• The New York Times: 5 Ways to Feel More Connected, According to Dr. Ruth
• The New York Times: How to Make, and Keep, Friends in Adulthood
• The New York Times: I Love You, Now Leave Me Alone: What Friendship Means to an Introvert
• The New York Times: The Loneliness Epidemic has a Cure
• Time: How to Make Friends as an Adult—at Every Life Stage
• Vox: How to Find Your People
• Yahoo: Making friends as an adult can be hard. Here's how 7 people did it.

For more insights into connection, authenticity, and building meaningful relationships, check out Shortform’s guides to The Like Switch by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, and Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown.